Do you have a sibling? Do your parents treat you differently?

[smileD]

Hello all sarnies,

Do you have a sibling? Do your parents treat you and your sibling differently? Voice your opinion in and view what others have to say.

If you are Asian American with a sibling, please help me with my school project. It is worth 25% of my final grade in the course.

Any input would be helpful. Just out of curiosity, do your parents treat you and your sibling differently? I know mine do.

Thank you,

smileD

EDIT: I am done collecting my datas. I am moving forward to analyzing it, which is going to be a pain. thanks to all that took my survey!

 

[anavang]

In fact this is very true. My parents tend to
treat me and my sister differently. Sometimes, it makes me
feel unlove and makes me want to cry,but i just learn to keep it in.

 

[kulyia]

really?

I have two older sisters, and their twins, both married btw. And i am the only daughter and the youngest one out of both families. fyi my dad lives with my step mom. Well my mom, she cares for me the most. My mom treat me fairly, including my dad. But i know my step mom cares for me just because i am her husbands daughter.But that dont bother me. My twin sisters are like my mom too because whatever my mom cant provide me, they will. Including my youngest brother who was born before me. We're 5 years apart. And he takes me wherever i want to that is important. Yea you can say moms treat their kids differently depending on the age i'd say.

 

[BaBeeLaiLai]

I'm the youngest kid in my family. I have an older brother and an older sister. My brother is 24 and is still spoiled. My mom still cooks for him and brings food to him. As for my sister she is married off with kids, but whenever she comes over she always has something ready for her to eat as well as for her husband. She's always worried that they are hungry, but when I am directly home or had just gotten off from a long day of work and skool, NOTHING. I always complain that she loves them more, but whatever. I've gotten use to it.

 

[pleang sney]

I have to say that the survey was really funny!

I think all the parents try to treat their child in the same way and try to love them with the same love. It's just that no one can't do it. It's like my mum, she use to say that she can't love a child more than another one , but then in the way she act with each of us, make us feel like there's only one of us that she really loves. But then , it's not exactely the thruth because she always give to me whatever i want, like she use to do with my sister or my brothers. It's just that when it happen you don't see what you should see and you just think what you WANT to think.
But i think it depends a lot on the way your parents were raised.My mum use to say that sharing is caring and the first step is in your own house, in your own family. If you did something wrong, it's not weird to see your parents punish you because you 're the one who do it, not your bro or your sis. And then, it's totally normal to say that your parents don't love you and you're always who did something wrong...

 

[anavang]

I have to say that the survey was really funny!

I think all the parents try to treat their child in the same way and try to love them with the same love. It's just that no one can't do it. It's like my mum, she use to say that she can't love a child more than another one , but then in the way she act with each of us, make us feel like there's only one of us that she really loves. But then , it's not exactely the thruth because she always give to me whatever i want, like she use to do with my sister or my brothers. It's just that when it happen you don't see what you should see and you just think what you WANT to think.
But i think it depends a lot on the way your parents were raised.My mum use to say that sharing is caring and the first step is in your own house, in your own family. If you did something wrong, it's not weird to see your parents punish you because you 're the one who do it, not your bro or your sis. And then, it's totally normal to say that your parents don't love you and you're always who did something wrong...

Well it is true that ur parents love all their children equally,but it's just the situation itself that makes you feel that way. I know parents love are always unconditional,but sometimes you just have this feeling.

 

[zienan09]

i think it depends on the parents.

but honestly, if you look at it, it seems that the oldest and youngest gets spoiled the most..
im the oldest and i testified for it lol. but then again, my parents rely on only me and not my siblings. so, i have the right to say that i deserve what i get.
as for my brother, he's 6 and he's the youngest..theres a BIG age difference between us, but i kno that he's at the age where he needs attention, so we all give it to him.
for my three middle siblings, they look at it like they are not loved at all. yea, we expect them to be more independent. i actually sat down with them and talked it thru with them. they say that its like our parents love me and my baby brother more b/c we get whatever we want. and i told them my views and what our parents say to me (b/c my parents and i have a mutual agreement..if we dont like something, we can tell each other straight out..and basically, im like the second mom/dad in the house) and i also told them that they have to bear with the youngest b/c no matter what, he will be spoiled. also, im hmong, so our parents will HAVE to live with the youngest son whenever he gets married or my parents get too old to work for themselves, so its only fair. they seem to understand here and there, and there's not as much jealousy as before, which im thankful for, but nevertheless, there's still that feeling of unequality running thru them.

also, i think it might just be that we're just oblivious and we can't see the fairness among us sibling.

yea..parents will love all their kids the same b/c basically they born u. but how they show it to each one of you may be different. they may love you for ur persistancy, they may love another for their handywork skills, and they may love another for studying hard in school, but in the end, they try to love you all the same. (if not, then ur parents are weird..lol..jkjk!)

 

[Liberty]

I think all parents treat their kids different because no one is alike and it requires different parenting skills. Sometimes parents just switch their techniques with each child, learning from mistakes I guess.

I'm the eldest of three and have two younger brothers.
I get treated differently because I'm a girl and I'm also the eldest child.
It irritates me so much that my brothers' get away with so much in life and if I make one minor mistake they act like I killed someone.
I was the child that never got in trouble, always followed the rules, had straight A's in school and in fact even finished high school a year early, I'm also the only one to go to school and soon to graduate.

Where as my brothers: Neither graduated high school, both got their GED, both have gotten in trouble with law a time or two, luckily it was nothing major and they've grown out of it, neither of them have aspirations of going to college or would even consider it. They got in trouble a lot in school too. Again minor stuff.

In the end things life worked out for them because they had a chance to make their mistake and learned from it. At least I hoped they learned from it. Me on the other hand, I have all sorts of social issues and lack of people skills because my parents smothered me so much and were extremely strict on me. It was okay for my brothers to go out and they don't say anything about them staying out all night. My brothers are both in their 20s now and one's married but they use to bring girls home and my parents never once said anything.
Me, my parents were always on my case about staying out late or going anywhere. It's gotten better but now but they don't give me the same freedom my brothers have and I'm 27!

I can go on forever but yeah, those are the main differences between how my parents treat my brothers and I.
Even growing up my parents babied them, especially my youngest brother, well my mom did anyway. On the other hand my brothers both got spanked has children. I never did. I was an obnoxious child up until the age of 7 and my mom wanted to spank me a lot, I remember that much but she never did because my dad wouldn't allow it.

 

[smileD]

Thanks to those who have taken my suvey. I was refraining from commenting because I don't want to influence anyone's opinion by replying; however, I don't think I did a good job at that since the heading of the thread says it all and "I know mine do" already put my opinion out there lol!

Yes I know, it's impossible for parents to treat all of their children equally. The purpose of my study was to see whether there is a correlation between sibling relationships qualities (affectionate type of relationships vs hostility type relationships) and their perception of parental differential treatment. I want to know whether those who have an affectionate type of relationship with this particular sibling view their parents have treated them both equally or one is better to the other; and in contrast, whether those who view their parents have treated them unfairly might have an effect towards thier relationships toward their sibling (hostility).

Anyways, thank you all for taking my surveys. I have about 80 respondents and I might have to throw away 3 or 4 respondents because I got some other race besides Asian Americans and some smart asses that like to make people work harder LOL! I was expecting some of them so I'm not angry. I'm grateful people that people took my survey. SO thanks again.

I'm not sure what else to do with this thread unless anymore sarnies would like to comment more on this thread. Otherwise, moderators you may delete this thread if you like.