The Push for Education

I have a pretty bad amount of stress right now due to my family's push on my education. I know they mean well and all they want is my success but i am seriously at my limit right now. They want me to try harder, i am getting 80's, i'm not a very smart person and i like to work at my own pace, but this does not mean i'm not trying my best or i don't care about my education. My 80 percent is considered stupid and they want me to push myself further, if i push myself harder it's just going to get worse for me because i am at my limit right now. Also the push to choose a career, anything i say or choose is just not considered good enough or makes enough money. I honestly don't know what to do now, every corner i turn i have someone pushing me. I swear i have cried in bed because of this constant pushing and i can't talk to anyone about it. Now i have to worry about my classes and my family. I really want to get away from all of this, this stress is making me miserable no matter what i do i can't be completely happy with myself.

Don't worry. That's how most asian Parents are. When my parents were still around, they'd push me too...but I did my best but it wasn't up to their expectations. Only a few of my older siblings lived up to what they wanted and they only favored those over the rest. But I say just do what you can. They're not you and don't know what you're going through so yep. I mean yea they're gonig to keep lecturing you but if you give it your best and tried already then there's nothing else you can do. Just do what you can do. Next time if they lecture you one more time, just tell them to ease on the lecturing b/c you're trying your best already you know? And if they still don't understand then man....they are some horrible parents. XD

p. Zoua said:

Don't worry. That's how most asian Parents are. When my parents were still around, they'd push me too...but I did my best but it wasn't up to their expectations. Only a few of my older siblings lived up to what they wanted and they only favored those over the rest. But I say just do what you can. They're not you and don't know what you're going through so yep. I mean yea they're gonig to keep lecturing you but if you give it your best and tried already then there's nothing else you can do. Just do what you can do. Next time if they lecture you one more time, just tell them to ease on the lecturing b/c you're trying your best already you know? And if they still don't understand then man....they are some horrible parents. XD

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thanks <3
Its not necessarily just my parents in general its my cousin and my grandma who are pushing extremely hard, my dad is a pusher also but at times he can be understanding. My mom is the best, she's pretty much the only person who understand.

U know yourself the best, no one does, even though they claim. 80 is good, I am not a very smart person either. What u should know is not that many people who have high education also have a successful life. A successful life is a life u want to live, do the things u want, follow your own rhythms. Your cousins and your grandma (even your parents) don't live your life, they are not u, so they want to push as much as they want, but you shouldn't feel "pushed"

at the end of the day, it's always u who walk alone on your path, if u could, just ignore them or maybe tell them to go to school for u

You will make it through. Asian parents are like that. They make you stress. But in the end, they will accept whatever path you take. Do what you love, don't think about the money. Money isn't worth it if you work hard and get into a career that you don't love. You'll only be miserable.

When you tell them what you think, it'll seem like they look down on you (probably think you're turning into a rebel lol). At least opening up to them will help you get rid of the anger instead of keeping it bundled up inside. You're the one graduating and eventually making money to survive in life. Everything is for you.

Your family loves and cares about you. It's hard being a teenager-those were probably some of the best and worst years of my life. Just remember education isn't everything and not everyone will be great at it, but having a formal education from a renowned school sure can open up great windows of opportunities for you that would not otherwise be reasonably or easily attainable. You just have to pick something you're actually passionate about to study and fly off the handle with that. You won't regret it. Good luck. Because no matter how smart you are, without a little bit of luck, the wheels won't necessarily turn

Education is important because it does secure a more stable future with a career but if you feel pressured then you shouldnt follow what others say and only do what you can. you're young and have lots of explore; but always remember to know what's important in school so that you don't fall behind. if anything, school is one of the best place to be in; just dont hang out with the wrong crowds

Are you in high school or college? I totally understand what you're going through. It was the same with me when I was in college -- and maybe even more as I'm an only child, and my father always emphasized that being a doctor (not just a general practitioner either, mind you, but it had to be a specialist like a neurologist or some type of surgeon) was the only way to be successful in life. It caused me so much stress during my college years as I hated the pre-med classes, I had no passion for it whatsoever and yet it had a pull on me because all my life, he had emphasized that anything else would be failure. It was almost like some type of brain-washing that I had to overcome; eventually, I had to decide for myself that he couldn't live my life for me and that I'd choose the path that I felt was my passion -- and I did. But overcoming that pull, that safe feeling of choosing the medicine path, was beyond difficult.

Thank god my mother and aunts were understanding! The point that I want to get across to you is that your life is only yours to live. It may sound selfish, but you have to do what makes YOU happy -- live for yourself, not others. You don't want to be in your 30's or 40's and suddenly realize that you're miserable, you hate the career that you're in (which you were pushed into to make others happy), and that you wish you could go back in time and change your life path. You don't want that. Choose to do and be what you want, and if others are happy about that, then that's wonderful, and if it may make some people unhappy and angry -- well, you can't help how they feel -- as long as you yourself are satisfied with where you are in life, then that's all that matters -- truly.

I basically have a year left of High School and i'm off into the world. Thank you for your advice. I actually had to sit down with my parents about all this and they support my decisions, it's just that my other family members want me to do what they want me to do. They always ask me and i'm very uncomfortable talking to them about this stuff.