❤️ Various ET News

SuzieJ

sarNie OldFart
I cannot imagine putting my parents in care facilities/nursing homes. I would never be able to sleep at night. I don't trust any of those places because I know what they're like without having to even visit one. Bottom line is, no one will look after my parents better than me.
I can understand if their health needs close supervision and 24/7 medical care though. In some cases, all we could really do is be nearby supporting them.
When my dad was hospitalized earlier this year he had to stay for almost a week. I saw all kinds of nurses. Some were beyond amazing and did their job better than required. Then there were some that didn't even know how to stick a needle into a vein. So yeah, I never trust these strangers no matter what title they wear. No one will care for your loved ones like you would.
Exactly lots of these nursing home types of places are legit horrible and I could never imagine leaving my parents in one unless there was absolutely no other choice. I find it so sad that so many people leave their elderly family members alone like that in those places. It truly breaks my heart.
 

lakornwatcher

sarNie Adult
Exactly lots of these nursing home types of places are legit horrible and I could never imagine leaving my parents in one unless there was absolutely no other choice. I find it so sad that so many people leave their elderly family members alone like that in those places. It truly breaks my heart.
I have never been to one of these nursing homes until my mom's situation. I never knew how bad it was until I saw it with my own eyes. There was people outside in the hallway screaming and walking around without supervision. I really feared for my mom's safety there. Some people there seem legit crazy... I was afraid they would just walk into my mom's room and do some crazy stuff when I'm not there.


My mom had a roommate while she was there and I never once saw any of her family come visit her. I asked one of the nurses there and she said the lady has two daughters but they live out of state. She only saw them come visit twice ever since she worked there. It was truly sad to see her sitting in a room all day just staring at the walls.
 

Koy123

sarNie OldFart
I get what you mean. When my mom had her stroke, she was hospitalized and then afterwards sent to a skilled nursing facility temporarily bc she couldn't get up to walk around. I wanted to bring her home but it was too hard for me to help her get in and out of bed. She stayed at that place for about 3 weeks and I went to visit her everyday. I felt so bad for her bc it was such a horrible experience. On her first day there, they left the safety bedside bar thing down and my mom fell out her bed. They would leave her in wet diapers and she would get rashes. We would press our button for help and they would take forever to get there. She couldn't take showers everyday. They said they have to rotate people for taking showers. It's like every 3 days before they would give her a shower. Then the nurses that was there didn't even know what the heck they were doing. My mom was on thick water liquid after she had her stroke but the nurse that came in was trying to give her regular water until I questioned her. They were supposed to help my mom with physical therapy but they weren't doing shit. They only came and looked at my mom and said oh she looks too tired, we'll come back later. Day by day passes and they still didn't try to help her start on physical therapy. So I kept pushing them to try something with her. I said at least try to see if she could sit up on bed. My mom said when they finally said they were going to start the physical therapy, they would take her to the physical therapy room and chit chat in a corner or go in their offices and just leave her in her wheelchair. It really is sad. Even with me visiting everyday, they still don't treat my mom right. I can't imagine for the people that don't have families visiting them how bad they are being treated. I really would rather die peacefully than be put in a care home too. I felt so bad for my mom. After I saw that she was able to move a little, I took her out of that place and brought her home to take care of her myself. I had to quit my job that I have worked at for the last 19 yrs to take care of her but I'd rather have this opportunity to take care of my mom than have a job and leave her in a miserable place like that.
I had a similar experience, when my mom had a stroke, the doctor sent her to a nursing home to recover. The first day we took her, the nurses were attentive and kind. Then when we went to visit her the 2nd day, they didn’t even bother to see my mom. My mom told us that they didn’t do much for her and she wanted to go home. By the end of the week we took her home and had never sent her back to a nursing home. I’ve took my to the ER so many times that I think I see many type of nurses.
I take care of both my parents. I’m grateful my dad is able to help with my mom when I’m at work. I also have siblings but only my sister and brother in-law can help when I ask them to. I’m blessed to have them or I would go crazy.
 

x0unerthanlater

`my dragon's blood is blue`
I don't think of my parents and brother as an obligation, I think of it as, "we're in this together. Same boat, let's survive." I don't know about everyone here (maybe we had the same situation) but my parents migrated from Laos to Thailand. They had us during the harshest times in SEasia, and then hauled us on a plane to America. They're illiterate but was able to raise us in a new country. The least I could do is run their errands, take them to doc. app. interpret for them and care for their well being.

** I like that we're sharing our life experiences together. It's a daily struggle and tough at times. If anyone needs encouragement or moral support I'm here!
 

BeLLa

sarNie Adult
As for me,my parent divorce when my mom pregnnt with me ( i have one older bro and sis), after that we all live with my mother. Since my mom have to work my aunt take care of us. Unfortunately for us my mom was diagnosed with cancer and passed away when i was only 6 years old and my aunt take care us until today. My dad never cared for us. He passed away when i was 28.
Me and my sibling are really really lucky because my aunt and her husband really care and love us like their own child, we all think of her as our own parent. Even thou they are not rich but sometimes i think that even kids live with their own parent doesnot get love like us.
We may not call them mom and dad but they are our parent. Now we ere the one who take care of them, i promised myself that no matter what i'll be there for them.
 

lakornwatcher

sarNie Adult
I don't think of my parents and brother as an obligation, I think of it as, "we're in this together. Same boat, let's survive." I don't know about everyone here (maybe we had the same situation) but my parents migrated from Laos to Thailand. They had us during the harshest times in SEasia, and then hauled us on a plane to America. They're illiterate but was able to raise us in a new country. The least I could do is run their errands, take them to doc. app. interpret for them and care for their well being.

** I like that we're sharing our life experiences together. It's a daily struggle and tough at times. If anyone needs encouragement or moral support I'm here!

My grandparents and my mom are all from China. They were born there but I was born in Laos. My mom's whole family migrated from China to Laos and then to Thailand. When they got to Laos, my grandpa passed away and then my grandma passed away when they got to a refugee camp in Thailand. Luckily my mom had my uncle and his family with her at that time bc after my mom had me in Laos, my dad and my mom broke up. They both went their own way and never saw eachother again. My mom basically raised me by herself and fortunately we were able to make it to America. My mom would always tell me about their hardship that they went through migrating from China to Laos to Thailand and finally to America. Hearing her stories really made me appreciate the things I have and where I'm living at.
 

byebye

sarNie OldFart
I'm so sorry to hear about both of your parents having dementia. It's already hard even when they don't have it so I can't imagine how hard it is when they have it. Are you an only child too or do you have siblings that can help you out or give you some kind of support? My heart really goes out to you and hope that you can get all the support you can get from families and friends.
I'm so sorry to hear about both of your parents having dementia. It's already hard even when they don't have it so I can't imagine how hard it is when they have it. Are you an only child too or do you have siblings that can help you out or give you some kind of support? My heart really goes out to you and hope that you can get all the support you can get from families and friends.
My dad passed away about 2 years ago. So it's just my mom now. I do have siblings...I'm the youngest in fact. But since I don't work at the moment it makes sense for her to stay with me. I have a lot of flexibility. My husband is very supportive so that helps. If I look at it time-wise it's not bad because she's quite in age and her time is limited so I have to remind myself to overlook some stuff and be grateful of what time I have left with her.
 

little22

sarNie Juvenile
I get what you mean. When my mom had her stroke, she was hospitalized and then afterwards sent to a skilled nursing facility temporarily bc she couldn't get up to walk around. I wanted to bring her home but it was too hard for me to help her get in and out of bed. She stayed at that place for about 3 weeks and I went to visit her everyday. I felt so bad for her bc it was such a horrible experience. On her first day there, they left the safety bedside bar thing down and my mom fell out her bed. They would leave her in wet diapers and she would get rashes. We would press our button for help and they would take forever to get there. She couldn't take showers everyday. They said they have to rotate people for taking showers. It's like every 3 days before they would give her a shower. Then the nurses that was there didn't even know what the heck they were doing. My mom was on thick water liquid after she had her stroke but the nurse that came in was trying to give her regular water until I questioned her. They were supposed to help my mom with physical therapy but they weren't doing shit. They only came and looked at my mom and said oh she looks too tired, we'll come back later. Day by day passes and they still didn't try to help her start on physical therapy. So I kept pushing them to try something with her. I said at least try to see if she could sit up on bed. My mom said when they finally said they were going to start the physical therapy, they would take her to the physical therapy room and chit chat in a corner or go in their offices and just leave her in her wheelchair. It really is sad. Even with me visiting everyday, they still don't treat my mom right. I can't imagine for the people that don't have families visiting them how bad they are being treated. I really would rather die peacefully than be put in a care home too. I felt so bad for my mom. After I saw that she was able to move a little, I took her out of that place and brought her home to take care of her myself. I had to quit my job that I have worked at for the last 19 yrs to take care of her but I'd rather have this opportunity to take care of my mom than have a job and leave her in a miserable place like that.
My mom also have a stroke since oct 2019 can't move on left side. On her right sides are weak. Can't walk lose weight. She's on a feeding tube and a trach for easy breathing. She's 66 at home. She said she rather died if we put her there. It's hard I don't have time for myself. Even though she has 5 kids but not all contribute time care like I do. I want to ask you how's your mom. Is she recover Can she able to walk again. I'm afraid as times past she can't walk anymore and will forget her kids. I'm already sad to see her bedbound wheelchair feeding tubes and trach on the neck. How do you take care of her. So much questions I just want her to be strong and walk but she's hurt pain just touching her from stroke
 

little22

sarNie Juvenile
I get what you mean. When my mom had her stroke, she was hospitalized and then afterwards sent to a skilled nursing facility temporarily bc she couldn't get up to walk around. I wanted to bring her home but it was too hard for me to help her get in and out of bed. She stayed at that place for about 3 weeks and I went to visit her everyday. I felt so bad for her bc it was such a horrible experience. On her first day there, they left the safety bedside bar thing down and my mom fell out her bed. They would leave her in wet diapers and she would get rashes. We would press our button for help and they would take forever to get there. She couldn't take showers everyday. They said they have to rotate people for taking showers. It's like every 3 days before they would give her a shower. Then the nurses that was there didn't even know what the heck they were doing. My mom was on thick water liquid after she had her stroke but the nurse that came in was trying to give her regular water until I questioned her. They were supposed to help my mom with physical therapy but they weren't doing shit. They only came and looked at my mom and said oh she looks too tired, we'll come back later. Day by day passes and they still didn't try to help her start on physical therapy. So I kept pushing them to try something with her. I said at least try to see if she could sit up on bed. My mom said when they finally said they were going to start the physical therapy, they would take her to the physical therapy room and chit chat in a corner or go in their offices and just leave her in her wheelchair. It really is sad. Even with me visiting everyday, they still don't treat my mom right. I can't imagine for the people that don't have families visiting them how bad they are being treated. I really would rather die peacefully than be put in a care home too. I felt so bad for my mom. After I saw that she was able to move a little, I took her out of that place and brought her home to take care of her myself. I had to quit my job that I have worked at for the last 19 yrs to take care of her but I'd rather have this opportunity to take care of my mom than have a job and leave her in a miserable place like that.
My mom also have a stroke since oct 2019 can't move on left side. On her right sides are weak. Can't walk lose weight. She's on a feeding tube and a trach for easy breathing. She's 66 at home. She said she rather died if we put her there. It's hard I don't have time for myself. Even though she has 5 kids but not all contribute time care like I do. I want to ask you how's your mom. Is she recover Can she able to walk again. I'm afraid as times past she can't walk anymore and will forget her kids. I'm already sad to see her bedbound wheelchair feeding tubes and trach on the neck. How do you take care of her. So much questions I just want her to be strong and walk but she's hurt pain just touching her from stroke
I've officially reached the age that I set for myself in terms of having kids. I told myself that if I don't have kids by 32 I'm not having any after that. This year is it. I'm actually afraid to raise kids in today's society. I don't think I'm missing out much though. I'll just travel alone all around the world, lol
I'm 38 been with my man for a decade. Loves kids but don't want the responsibilities. I baby sat since I was10 years old yes a young aunt. What sets me back is it's a scary world and the most important is myself Im afraid that I'm not able to push it out. Plus I'm already older means the child will not be healthy. I want to be a mom. Now life is harder. I also watching my mom from a stroke that she's not recovering can't walk. I guess my dream to have a baby is likely not gonna happen. And with this pandemic thing too. Why I didn't have it when I'm younger in my 20s
 

Mannie

sarNie Adult
Wow reading everyone’s comments made me tear up and it’s in such a random section lol. But I also take care of my mom. She’s stage 3 cancer right now and it was a such a scare for me. Thank god my job allows flexibility but I have so much appointments to take her to. Dealing with insurance here in America is a nightmare. Right when she got cancer was when my dad retired and didn’t have her on health insurance anymore but through all the struggles I was able to finally get Medicaid for her. She has a lot of other issues besides her cancer so my time for her appointments is with other specialists as well. I’ve been taking care of her for the past 6-7 years and have gone through all types of doctors and nurses. It’s crazy how bad of doctors you can encounter lol. I have 3 other siblings but I’m the one that can make it work with time to help my mom out. They’re all busy and caught up with their lives and if they take my mom they end up making it more complicated asking questions and getting heated with her doctors anyways lol. She’s doing better now and her cancer hasn’t completely been treated but we’re trying and she’s so strong!! I pray for everyone’s mothers here. They are definitely strong and it sucks to see them go through health problems especially when they already have been through so much.
 

x0unerthanlater

`my dragon's blood is blue`
From observing my parents and other elders, I notice even though they are going through physical pains, what eases their mind the most is how well you handle the situation.

Especially at a doctors app. they are scared and nervous. As long as you're with them and reassure them everything is taken cared of, it'll lessen their fears. A lot of elderly are afraid of being left alone to fend for themselves. Their mentality literally resembles a child at times.
 
Last edited:

lakornwatcher

sarNie Adult
I don't think of my parents and brother as an obligation, I think of it as, "we're in this together. Same boat, let's survive." I don't know about everyone here (maybe we had the same situation) but my parents migrated from Laos to Thailand. They had us during the harshest times in SEasia, and then hauled us on a plane to America. They're illiterate but was able to raise us in a new country. The least I could do is run their errands, take them to doc. app. interpret for them and care for their well being.

** I like that we're sharing our life experiences together. It's a daily struggle and tough at times. If anyone needs encouragement or moral support I'm here!

My grandparents and my mom are all from China. They were born there but I was born in Laos. My mom's whole family migrated from China to Laos and then to Thailand. When they got to Laos, my grandpa passed away and then my grandma passed away when they got to a refugee camp in Thailand. Luckily my mom had my uncle and his family with her at that time bc after my mom had me in Laos, my dad and my mom broke up. They both went their own way and never saw eachother again. My mom basically raised me by herself and fortunately we were able to make it to America. My mom would always tell me about their hardship that they went through migrating from China to Laos to Thailand and finally to America. Hearing her stories really made me appreciate the things I have and where I'm living at.
My mom also have a stroke since oct 2019 can't move on left side. On her right sides are weak. Can't walk lose weight. She's on a feeding tube and a trach for easy breathing. She's 66 at home. She said she rather died if we put her there. It's hard I don't have time for myself. Even though she has 5 kids but not all contribute time care like I do. I want to ask you how's your mom. Is she recover Can she able to walk again. I'm afraid as times past she can't walk anymore and will forget her kids. I'm already sad to see her bedbound wheelchair feeding tubes and trach on the neck. How do you take care of her. So much questions I just want her to be strong and walk but she's hurt pain just touching her from stroke


I'm 38 been with my man for a decade. Loves kids but don't want the responsibilities. I baby sat since I was10 years old yes a young aunt. What sets me back is it's a scary world and the most important is myself Im afraid that I'm not able to push it out. Plus I'm already older means the child will not be healthy. I want to be a mom. Now life is harder. I also watching my mom from a stroke that she's not recovering can't walk. I guess my dream to have a baby is likely not gonna happen. And with this pandemic thing too. Why I didn't have it when I'm younger in my 20s

My mom is the same age as your mom. This is the second time my mom had a stroke. The first time was in 2013 and this second time was last yr in Oct too. She had a CABG surgery last yr in Oct and and then about 12 days later, she had her stroke. The stroke affected my mom's left side of the body and her speech. She was able to move her left leg and arm but both was very weak. She was also able to talk but her speech was slow and not very clear but we were still able to understand her. We had PT and OT come to our house to help out after she came home from the nursing home. We also gave her asian herbal bath to see if it would help. Her legs and arm got a little better but is still weak and she can't control her left hand. It's like it has a mind of it's own. Will only move when it wants to and becomes very stiff or try to resist you when you try to move it. Lukily, eventhough she's still weak but she can kinda get up and stand but just not more than 5 mins. If after around 5 mins, her legs starts to shake. With her being able to get up a little, it made it easier for me to help her change her diaper.

I've been with my man for more than a decade now and still not married. I'm not serious about marriage. I'm a yr younger than you but I don't have any kids either. That's why my mom worries about me alot. She said she's afraid one day when I'm around her age I won't have anyone to take care of me if I become ill but I think right now I'm too old to have any kids too.
 

Koy123

sarNie OldFart
@little22 My parents went through the Khmer Rouges and migrated to America. Not too long after she arrived in the US, she became paralyzed from the waist down after she gave birth to my sister in her late 30s for almost 10yrs. She was able to walk again with a walker. She was pretty depressed and stressful over the years that I think led to the stroke. She had a stroke in 2000 which made her left side weak. They sent her to the nursing home for about a week. My dad also made some Asian remedies for her legs and always get her to walk by holding her. When she was paralyzed, her upper body gotten strong BC she was used to grabbing/holding on to her walker and other things. The stroke made her weak, but she was able to recover over time with a lot of PT and support from family. My mom is a pretty strong woman going through all this.
It’ll take sometime, but tell your mom not to give up. Get her to do as much physical therapy as she can, that helps a lot. Always make her happy so she’ll have the emotional strength to want to do things.
 

little22

sarNie Juvenile
I get what you mean. When my mom had her stroke, she was hospitalized and then afterwards sent to a skilled nursing facility temporarily bc she couldn't get up to walk around. I wanted to bring her home but it was too hard for me to help her get in and out of bed. She stayed at that place for about 3 weeks and I went to visit her everyday. I felt so bad for her bc it was such a horrible experience. On her first day there, they left the safety bedside bar thing down and my mom fell out her bed. They would leave her in wet diapers and she would get rashes. We would press our button for help and they would take forever to get there. She couldn't take showers everyday. They said they have to rotate people for taking showers. It's like every 3 days before they would give her a shower. Then the nurses that was there didn't even know what the heck they were doing. My mom was on thick water liquid after she had her stroke but the nurse that came in was trying to give her regular water until I questioned her. They were supposed to help my mom with physical therapy but they weren't doing shit. They only came and looked at my mom and said oh she looks too tired, we'll come back later. Day by day passes and they still didn't try to help her start on physical therapy. So I kept pushing them to try something with her. I said at least try to see if she could sit up on bed. My mom said when they finally said they were going to start the physical therapy, they would take her to the physical therapy room and chit chat in a corner or go in their offices and just leave her in her wheelchair. It really is sad. Even with me visiting everyday, they still don't treat my mom right. I can't imagine for the people that don't have families visiting them how bad they are being treated. I really would rather die peacefully than be put in a care home too. I felt so bad for my mom. After I saw that she was able to move a little, I took her out of that place and brought her home to take care of her myself. I had to quit my job that I have worked at for the last 19 yrs to take care of her but I'd rather have this opportunity to take care of my mom than have a job and leave her in a miserable place like that.
My mom also have a stroke since oct 2019 can't move on left side. On her right sides are weak. Can't walk lose weight. She's on a feeding tube and a trach for easy breathing. She's 66 at home. She said she rather died if we put her there. It's hard I don't have time for myself. Even though she has 5 kids but not all contribute time care like I do. I want to ask you how's your mom. Is she recover Can she able to walk again. I'm afraid as times past she can't walk anymore and will forget her kids. I'm already sad to see her bedbound wheelchair feeding tubes and trach on the neck. How do you take care of her. So much questions I just want her to be strong and walk but she's hurt pain just touching her from stroke
I've officially reached the age that I set for myself in terms of having kids. I told myself that if I don't have kids by 32 I'm not having any after that. This year is it. I'm actually afraid to raise kids in today's society. I don't think I'm missing out much though. I'll just travel alone all around the world, lol
I'm 38 been with my man for a decade. Loves kids but don't want the responsibilities. I baby sat since I was10 years old yes a young aunt. What sets me back is it's a scary world and the most important is myself Im afraid that I'm not able to push it out. Plus I'm already older means the child will not be healthy. I want to be a mom. Now life is harder. I also watching my mom from a stroke that she's not recovering can't walk. I guess my dream to have a baby is likely not gonna happen. And with this pandemic thing too. Why I didn't have it when I'm younger in my 20s
@little22 My parents went through the Khmer Rouges and migrated to America. Not too long after she arrived in the US, she became paralyzed from the waist down after she gave birth to my sister in her late 30s for almost 10yrs. She was able to walk again with a walker. She was pretty depressed and stressful over the years that I think led to the stroke. She had a stroke in 2000 which made her left side weak. They sent her to the nursing home for about a week. My dad also made some Asian remedies for her legs and always get her to walk by holding her. When she was paralyzed, her upper body gotten strong BC she was used to grabbing/holding on to her walker and other things. The stroke made her weak, but she was able to recover over time with a lot of PT and support from family. My mom is a pretty strong woman going through all this.
It’ll take sometime, but tell your mom not to give up. Get her to do as much physical therapy as she can, that helps a lot. Always make her happy so she’ll have the emotional strength to want to do things.
When it comes to pain my mom can't take it. She's not doing physical exercise like she should do. So I'm afraid it's hard to come to walk again besides she lost weight and on a feeding tube cus it's hard to swallow. What we're doing is to let her feel comfortable we love her. So is there a miracle that my mom can get up be strong again. Cus I'm not having a high feeling hope. She can talk and remember us and things. That's why I'm so happy that she can talk understand.
 

Koy123

sarNie OldFart
@little22 I remember my mom was in a lot of pain too and every time she drink, she would choke. We had to give liquid thicker for awhile. Try taking her to the beach or places she likes, maybe it’ll make her feel at ease. The healing process really do take time. Take it one step at a time. I hope and pray things will get better for you.
 

^thea^

sarNie Egg
Hi guys. I want to ask about Nine
I read the news that Nine's mother is a single mother. Are his parents divorced?
 
Top