♥ 4 HUA JAI ♥
So there's this guy that I've like for a couple years now. We've been good friend for two years now also. He's a really good friend. But I guess I missed out on my chance with him and now I guess I do regret not letting him know how I felt about him even if he never felt the same. I've always been afraid to lose him as a friend and to be distant for him as well. He was a really wonderful and great friend but I guess not such a good person so much. But I never would've though that he would get married, well at least not right now. I mean I knew he is dating someone but they haven't even known each long, only for a month! -.- But he recently just got married to his girlfriend. It's too fast and shocking also. It's so hard for me to believe as well. & Most of all it's so hard to move on since I liked him for so long now. *sigh. I know that we'll still be friend but probably won't be as close anymore since he's married now. It's going to be so weird and awkward now around and with him since he is someone else's husband. Someday own's him now, officially. *sigh. It's so wrong for me to have feelings for him still, I know. I don't like the thought of that either but I'm trying to move on now. But it's sooo hard for me, even I've tried many times before he got married too since he had alot of girlfriends time by time but I cloudn't get over him completely at all. It's so complicated and very hard on me. I guess that fact that we are good friends too made it even harder for me to move on in the first place. Sometimes I wished him and I weren't friends at all and that we never met. I mean "everything happens for a reason" but it's very hard for me. *sigh. And this may sound very childish but out of all the guys I've crushed on. He's been my longest crush. He's the only one that I've been able to like for a year and over. And it's hard because out of all the guys I've crushed on, he's different. I have a thought in mind that there are many fishes in the sea and many more guys in the world but I won't be able to find someone like him.