Help, dating but not ready for a relationship?

lilo

sarNie Juvenile
Can someone tell me that if going on a date consider you being ready for a relationship?  I was ask if I wasn't ready for a relationship then why would I go on a date?  I told that person I am not ready for relationship but I am willing to meet people.
 

KhoOnxNouxWanxJai

Staff member
Going on dates doesn't necessarily mean you are ready to be in a relationship. When you go on a date it is to explore the other person or people you are dating. This is why some people date multiple people and it's not considered cheating. They are trying to explore the people in their lives and see who is more compatible with them. Unless there is a agreement between two people that they are dating exclusively then I guess that would be considered directing towards a relationship. Many friends date one another to see if they are ready to be more than just friends, and if they aren't then they go back to being friends. When you step out of that and go into a relationship straight away it may complicate things. Don't let anyone pressure you into a relationship. Take your time to get to know the person, and if that person is genuine about it then they would understand. 
 

lilo

sarNie Juvenile
KhoOnxNouxWanxJai said:
Going on dates doesn't necessarily mean you are ready to be in a relationship. When you go on a date it is to explore the other person or people you are dating. This is why some people date multiple people and it's not considered cheating. They are trying to explore the people in their lives and see who is more compatible with them. Unless there is a agreement between two people that they are dating exclusively then I guess that would be considered directing towards a relationship. Many friends date one another to see if they are ready to be more than just friends, and if they aren't then they go back to being friends. When you step out of that and go into a relationship straight away it may complicate things. Don't let anyone pressure you into a relationship. Take your time to get to know the person, and if that person is genuine about it then they would understand. 
Omg, that is what thought too. But when I was talking to my friend about my date she question me that if i am not ready for relationship then why did i go on a date for I told her i went on the date because like you said i want to see if there is any connection we had that is all. So I question myself about it.  But thank you so much.
 

Mahalo

sarNie OldFart
lilo said:
Can someone tell me that if going on a date consider you being ready for a relationship?  I was ask if I wasn't ready for a relationship then why would I go on a date?  I told that person I am not ready for relationship but I am willing to meet people.
Hmmm. I see why your friend said that because I, too, feel that dating is only for when one is looking to meet someone and see if things can progress into a relationship. It really depends on how you look at dating because everyone has their own way of dating. For me, going on a date with someone means that I am interested in getting to know the person. If things go well, I might be willing to take it a step further and start a relationship with them. If I'm not interested, why would I go on a date with them in the first place? You have to be careful not to lead the other person on. I think it's okay to go on one date with the person to explore and see whom you're compatible with. However, if you keep on going on a second, a third, and so forth dates but you aren't interested in taking it a step further with the person, you're leading them on and that's not very nice. I know some like to date many at the same time, but I don't like to do that because I feel that when people do that, it shows that they can have many feelings or are interested in multiple people at once. I like to be one-hearted and invest my time into one person at a time. Lol. I think if you want to meet people, you shouldn't call it a date and just call it hanging out. Dates are usually associated with trying to get to know someone in case it leads into something more. That's why if I'm not interested in someone and they want to take me out one on one, I make sure to tell them it's not a date. Lol.  
 

x0unerthanlater

`my dragon's blood is blue`
In my opinion I think that if you're going on dates you're techincally ready for a relationship and/or want to be in one. Going on dates means you're looking for the right person to pursue a future with. That in itself is being ready for a relationship. If you aren't ready for a committed relationship but go on date(s) anyway, then it might be appropriate the other person knows your intent before they start developing feelings. I think dating, whether it was for a relationship or not, should be understood by the 2 people. Friends can go on dates. As long as you both are on the same page about it.
 
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sarN

sarNie Granny
Gosh, after reading this I just realize I'm a bad girl lollll. I want to date too but the person I WANT and desire doesn't return my interest Haha but other guys that response back to me are those I DO NOT WANT TO DATE , I'm the biggest flirt ever and my conduct does lead them to believe i'm interest but honestly I do not want a relationship with any of them and when they ask me out I always say "I have 20 boyfriends already . Sorry" . I work in a tattoo shop , i flirt w/ client all the time but nothing serious I just want to use what mother nature give me before i expire lol.Date only if you looking to be in a relationship because guys doesn't think like us girls , they have two 'head' most of the time it's the little head speaking to them but if you want to know them just go hang out w/ him but always say "l just want to be friend" if he really interest in you he will stick around and try to win your heart , if nothing else at least you have another friend! Just a month a go my tattoo artist's friend ask me out and I said no, he said is it because he ugly ! I didnt reply back. He come to the shop 3 x a week to visit his friend but I never flirt w/ him because he look like a weed head . I reject him 3 more time since and usually any guy will give up by now but he didn't and would say comment like you sexy thing . I do want a relationship but w/ someone I feel attractive to and this weed head is such a turn off, so I wouldn't even want to be friend with him. And thru him make me realize there not a lot of good guys out there , so girl , be careful and take time knowing them, relationship require emotional investment and if you not ready do not date
 

lilo

sarNie Juvenile
Wow, thanks ladies for all the opinion that you guys gave me.  Everyone you has a point. Now I am questioning myself if I did the right thing.  I know I didn't send him any mix feeling or anything.  But I was surprise that we connect.  Both myself and him went into this date thinking that we won't have any kind of connection, and now we do and now I don't know. Cause usually when I go on a date I never feel any connection with that person so now I do and I don't what I want. I am a lost birdie lol.
 

sarN

sarNie Granny
That sound like me , love the company, enjoy the attention but want no heart invest it , all fun and game. I call it flirting!! You probably not as bold and shamless like me lol but it OK to flirt around but there a rule to it and i promise you it harmless.When I have time I would type it up. I was in the same suitation , always say " I just want to be friend" repeat it. You might have a change of heart later but that how us girl is , our mind and action speak difference language . At the end I never agreed to a relationship with him but we make good friend and at time flirt around with each other too , but I always say " hey, friend and nothing more" and smile playfully because it give off 50/50 lolll . I'm not teaching you to be a player just from past experience lol, connection doesn't mean soulmate alert , we are social ppl , company of other is fun and entertaining because we can express ourselves happily when around them and I believe you want that . Relationship can ruin that fun if your heart not ready for it while the guy have hope. Trust me , repeat " I just want to be friend" and flirt till your heart content haha.
 

lilo

sarNie Juvenile
Sarn, I agree.  We kind of put out at there at we aren't ready for relationship. But, Sarn whenever you have time I want to know what you did.  :)
 
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