I would like girls opinion

kahoua_yaj

sarNie Egg
What would u think and do if the one u love pick his parents over u?
Is that what he say he love u and believe u???
Are u willing to live with him the rest of ur life knowin that he'll never believe u but his parents if they hate u???
What would u do???


I would like girls opinion b/c my best friend is planning on marrying a guy and i really don't want her life to be a sad ending....
it reali hurt to see her like that.... so i can give her some advise....

I have some of my opinion too but i want to knoe what every girls think...[topic="0"]girls opinion[/topic]
 

anti-hmong

sarNie Hatchling
SCREW THE GUY AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE!...you don't need a sissy guy who can't stand up for himself and for the you...the person he "supposedly" loves...if he can't stand up for you now...chances are he's not going to change and stand up for you later on...it's better to get the heck outta the relationship and find another guy...someone who's not hmong...in my opinion...all hmong guys are like that...they're idiots who will believe whatever their parents say...i've never had any high opinions regarding hmong guys and i never will...one generation is worst than the last
 

dorkymc

sarNie Egg
well if she is already planning to marry him... then there is not much you can do...she won't listen to you...it is typical of some hmong girls...they think that they know best...so best thing is to let her learn her mistake the hard way... hopefully, she will come out a more mature person.... =)
 

lady_sati

sarNie Adult
i was gonna say... 'are you a nyab?'

i think it's a guy's job to respect his family,
but then he has to know when to stop and start,
because he will eventually have his own family, you know?

but if the dude is constantly on the mom's side,
and not even listening to her, that's whack!

he aint man enough to say yes and no evenly.

tell her not to rush.
she wont be happy. trust me, i know.
marrying him later wont hurt too.

GOOD LUCK.
hope things goes okay.
take care.
 

bugsy

sarNie Adult
A guy who loves his family is one thing.....a mommy's boy is another. I would need my man to love his family and I understand if he'll have to choose them over me at times but there are limits. And we don't know enough of the story to give you much advice that will help with her situation, but all I can say is that if she's already having a problem with the triangle between her, her bf, and his parents...it's probably better not to leap into marriage. I mean, c'mon....if she already knows shes not going to be as happy as she wants her marriage life would be, then I say to her....wake up. Of course, unless she's totally oblivious to this. Whatever it comes to, it's ultimately her decision.
 

pajlis

sarNie Egg
i was gonna say... 'are you a nyab?'

i think it's a guy's job to respect his family,
but then he has to know when to stop and start,
because he will eventually have his own family, you know?

but if the dude is constantly on the mom's side,
and not even listening to her, that's whack!

he aint man enough to say yes and no evenly.

tell her not to rush.
she wont be happy. trust me, i know.
marrying him later wont hurt too.

GOOD LUCK.
hope things goes okay.
take care.



so is he the only son? if not is he's the oldest or the youngest? I'll get u my opinion later when u answer my question.

thanks
 

ddawbb

sarNie Adult
It depends on what the girl is asking from the guy...
a guy will stick with his family forever, a girl is going to be a part of his family... Remember, when a Hmong girl gets married, she is NOT marrying only him.. she is marrying the FAMILY... (trust me, I know, I'm married)

My suggestion, if she doesn't want to give anything up for his family, then she is not ready for marriage and not ready to become a Nyab..

I agree with lady_sati.. marrying him later won't be a problem.. but if she marries him and later finds out that she doesn't want the marriage, it will be even worse for her. Think about it..
 

tearsofautumn

sarNie Hatchling
First of all....if he is going to pick his parents over the one he is suppose to love then he is not ready to get married. In a pure-true relationship, you shouldnt have to choose either....your parents are as important to you as your GF is and the same with your parents.....he should be able to balance out his love life with his family life. If he pick one over the other then he doesnt "really" know what he wants and maybe they should step back and think about the situtation more b4 going on foward.

Second, if he doesnt believe her then they shouldnt be getting married until they understand each other and see through all objects standing in the way. With relationships, the four most important keys to having a stable relationship is.....good communication, understanding of each other, honest/trust in one another, and equal balance for him and her. If the relationship doesnt contain any of these four keys, then its not much a relationship and if you continue on, nothing good will come out of it...at the end....it'll just be one big disappointment!!

So, i hope your friend take a long good look at her relationship and ask herself some questions related to their relationship. If she has the answers to all of her questions then the relationship is "good to go", but if not, they need to sit down and talk. A real talk can help them find what some of the missing peices to their relationship lies and what they need to do to fix it.

**Good Luck**
 

YM_gurl

sarNie Oldmaid
What would u think and do if the one u love pick his parents over u?
Is that what he say he love u and believe u???
Are u willing to live with him the rest of ur life knowin that he'll never believe u but his parents if they hate u???
What would u do???
I would like girls opinion b/c my best friend is planning on marrying a guy and i really don't want her life to be a sad ending....
it reali hurt to see her like that.... so i can give her some advise....

I have some of my opinion too but i want to knoe what every girls think...[topic="0"]girls opinion[/topic]
i'm kinda evil.. so what i would do is, "Forget this man, i love.." it will be hard. but you will get over him somehow, someday. u won't die if you don't get him.right?
it will be a "BIG" heartache but u can't die. seriously. (tell ur flen that) :)

Also, Tell your friend to imagine marrying him & having a unhappy life. ask her if that's what she wants? if so, tell her to go for it. & never to
regret it..(most likely she will regret it. if she does marry him.)

but since he's choosing his parents over her, she's dumb enough to even think about marrying him.what is wrong w/her? he's not the last guy!
her life is going to suck. unless, he change & are fair then that's a different story. perhaps a happy ending.

No! i will not live w/ a man like this..life is too short to live sadly... men like this are "mommy's boy," i hate mommy's boy. Annoying!!! -_- they do whatever their parents tell them. arg! their, ur husband & u will argue.. perhaps fight because of them. so that's a big no to me!!!

-------------------> Are u willing to live with him the rest of ur life knowin that he'll never believe u but his parents if they hate u???

what's love without trust? ask ur friend, if she can't answer this. It's not love, it's probably lust. :rolleyes: tell ur friend i said good luck..
 

danger

sarNie Hatchling
I'm a guy here, I understand you preferred a girl's opinion but I would like to comment on this issue if that's not a problem. If one's looking from a girl's point of view, I'm guessing most would say to leave the guy and that he's not man enough. That is what a typical woman would say. Not that that isn't true, that is somewhat true in a way, but you must first try to understand what the guy is getting at. Men and women have different behaviors, especially when it comes to communication. With this said, it is really important to understand each other with an open mind. One must never get upset over the smallest issue if anyone ever want a relationship to work. Never draw any conclusions unless you truely understand the situation. This is the reason why there are so many divorces today, because of poor communication skills between males and females.

I'm a guy, I'll always listen to my elders no matter if it's good or bad because it won't hurt you. Like I said to some of my friends, just take what's good and leave the bad out. One thing I'm seeing today is the childrens today do not respect their elders. They feel that what they're saying are a lot of nonsense, but if you actually take time to understand what they're getting at, you'll learn some lifelong lessons and this is the Truth! Whenever you have free time, go have a little chat with your parents or grandparents, you'll learn a lot.
 

HuabNag

sarNie Adult
It is all up to your friend. Also to what extend do you mean he chose his parent over her, because in some cases the parent has to come first, and other case your love one has to come first. It is depends on the situation, because like someone mentions, a man, he should cares about his family too, not just his love one. If he doesn't care about his parents, that is differently not good. If she always want the guy to chose her over the parent, that would be right either. It will be difficult to suggest because we (I) don't reallly know the situation to give a best adivce.... But if she is happy with the situation, and doesn't care about it then it okay. If she doesn't like the way he is or how he response to his parent need, then I would suggest that she just stop the relationship, because like many had said, it will be difficult in her future. No need to think too much about it. She just need to be true to herself and what she really want.
 

kahoua_yaj

sarNie Egg
i was gonna say... 'are you a nyab?'

i think it's a guy's job to respect his family,
but then he has to know when to stop and start,
because he will eventually have his own family, you know?

but if the dude is constantly on the mom's side,
and not even listening to her, that's whack!

he aint man enough to say yes and no evenly.

tell her not to rush.
she wont be happy. trust me, i know.
marrying him later wont hurt too.

GOOD LUCK.
hope things goes okay.
take care.
no i'm not a nyab
 

soraoncloud

sarNie Egg
Tell her to not marry him, she'll be miserable! A guy should always pick you over his parents...I mean after all...he's is the one who is going to spend the rest of his life with you not with his parent and if he can't figure that out...then he's not ready to get marry at all!
 

kahoua_yaj

sarNie Egg
he is the onli son the parents have left
the older one already have their life
he told my friend that he would pick his parents over my fran
she said she was fine with it...because she understanded that
like every nyab do....even i..
but what if the mother just hate u cause ur not their
type of daughter-in-law and wants u out of their son life...
he would do it b/c he is pickin his parent over his wife
for no reason but thinkin that they are right...
and he just totally throws away all the love you give
him as if it's sh*t

what would u do?
 

ddawbb

sarNie Adult
he is the onli son the parents have left
the older one already have their life
he told my friend that he would pick his parents over my fran
she said she was fine with it...because she understanded that
like every nyab do....even i..
but what if the mother just hate u cause ur not their
type of daughter-in-law and wants u out of their son life...
he would do it b/c he is pickin his parent over his wife
for no reason but thinkin that they are right...
and he just totally throws away all the love you give
him as if it's sh*t

what would u do?

That's an easy question:

If you have doubts, then don't marry him.
 

mly

sarNie Hatchling
That's not good. And sorry to put your friend down but she is stupid to even said it's okay if he loves his parents more than her. Because when his parents don't like her, they can tell him to marry a second wife or he should hit her if she doesn't do whatever he says. Sure, we are in America now, but we still hold strong to the culture, so if she marrys him, she'll be crying to you later saying it was a big mistake. A BIG NO NO!

Here's a story:

My younger sister was telling me about her friend who married her husband at 16. He loves her, but will not stick up for her. His family especially his sister talks sh*t about her infront of him and he does nothing. She has a child and her sister-in-law always bring her children over for her to babysit. When she doesn't have the time to babysit, the sister-in-law tells the mother-in-law that nyab doesn't want to help her out. At the end, she gets yell at by the in-laws of how lazy she is. Her husband tells her to be patient but he will not say one word to his family to back off. She cries to my sister and say she doesn't know what to do. One time, her sister-in-law's husband made a bad remark that was not true about her in front of her and her husband, and that fool said nothing. Because they are married already, I told my sister to tell her friend to just be patient, maybe one day her husband will be man enough to protect her from his family. But thinking to myself, when she gets older and much wiser about life, she'll more likely leave him. And you know what? He deserves it too!
 

mly

sarNie Hatchling
I'm a guy here, I understand you preferred a girl's opinion but I would like to comment on this issue if that's not a problem. If one's looking from a girl's point of view, I'm guessing most would say to leave the guy and that he's not man enough. That is what a typical woman would say. Not that that isn't true, that is somewhat true in a way, but you must first try to understand what the guy is getting at. Men and women have different behaviors, especially when it comes to communication. With this said, it is really important to understand each other with an open mind. One must never get upset over the smallest issue if anyone ever want a relationship to work. Never draw any conclusions unless you truely understand the situation. This is the reason why there are so many divorces today, because of poor communication skills between males and females.

I'm a guy, I'll always listen to my elders no matter if it's good or bad because it won't hurt you. Like I said to some of my friends, just take what's good and leave the bad out. One thing I'm seeing today is the childrens today do not respect their elders. They feel that what they're saying are a lot of nonsense, but if you actually take time to understand what they're getting at, you'll learn some lifelong lessons and this is the Truth! Whenever you have free time, go have a little chat with your parents or grandparents, you'll learn a lot.
You are right about one thing, us girl will tell her friend to drop her boyfriend. Because when a girl gets marry, she leave her parents to be with a man she hopes will love her as much as her parents or even more. But if his family comes first before her, that means he just want her there for two thing, sex and companionship. I'm not saying for the guy not to listen to the elders, sometime they are right about life and sometimes they are not. And as a girl, if you marry a mama's boy, you basically sold your life to him. If he doesn't love you, you can't go to his parents cause they will just blame you and they won't say anything to their son. That's why a girl's opinion is more important when it comes to this type of question. But thanks for your input. Just glad my hubby picks me first. Family will always be family, no matter what. But a good spouse is hard to find.
 

HuabNag

sarNie Adult
If she already knows that his parent doesn't like her, then she shouldn't marry him. Family is an issue of many relationships; if the middle person deosn't know how to handle the situation, there will be more problems coming.
 

danger

sarNie Hatchling
You are right about one thing, us girl will tell her friend to drop her boyfriend. Because when a girl gets marry, she leave her parents to be with a man she hopes will love her as much as her parents or even more. But if his family comes first before her, that means he just want her there for two thing, sex and companionship. I'm not saying for the guy not to listen to the elders, sometime they are right about life and sometimes they are not. And as a girl, if you marry a mama's boy, you basically sold your life to him. If he doesn't love you, you can't go to his parents cause they will just blame you and they won't say anything to their son. That's why a girl's opinion is more important when it comes to this type of question. But thanks for your input. Just glad my hubby picks me first. Family will always be family, no matter what. But a good spouse is hard to find.
I'm not saying for the guy's family to come first or last because when you guys married you are a family. Your spouse and family are equally important, it's just a matter of distinquishing right from wrong.

What I'm going to say here might be harsh on the ladies, but I'm just trying to help you guys out. These days it seems that the girls are quite desperate for guys, and even when they know that the person they are with isn't a good person, they still want to be with him. And to let the girls know, guys these days are just using most of you for sex. Girls seems to fall really easy for a guy when he sweet talks her and make her feel like he's the one. LoL it's funny sometimes, but also sad at the same time. So girls think before you decide to do anything, for it will really affect you later in the future. TRUST ME !!! This isn't just for hmong girls, but other races also. Like I told my friend, it's so hard to find a good girl these days. So think guys and girls.
 
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