Infatuation?

roselovesice

방탄소년단 x Bangtan Sonyeondan x JiTaew
I know that there's a lot of answer to this, and I'm kind of shy yet embarrass to talk to about it. lol It could be lust, but probably not to that extent, or infatuation. Whatever it is, I would like it if you ladies can help me figure this out.
So recently my sister got married. I was her maid of honor. At first I didn't think much of the best man. He's Italian (and from Italy) whilst I'm Asian. I don't want to disclose my ethnicity. lol I've been friends with him on Facebook since 2013. I decided to add him so that when we meet, it won't be so hard to get along. Instead, it didn't go that way. I looked so shady when we met in person. I rarely talked to him in person but we talked quite a bit online prior to our meeting. We only had a few small conversations here and there but not enough to be considered a convo. lol Anyways, at first I was like whatever, It's just him but after he got a haircut and shaved his mustache, he looked really handsome. I was quite blown away when I saw him the morning of the wedding. lol I mean, he already had a haircut and he did shave his mustache already but he left a little hitler mustache until the next morning. lol Anyways, he looked great the morning of the wedding. His hair was on point. Haha. He's not the skinniest like how I prefer my guy but he was handsome. Anyways, we had to go take pictures and it was snowing and windy outside. I was wearing my 5 inch heels since my dress was too long to wear any shoes less than 5 inches. He helped me down the stairs since I was having difficulty walking on the ice/snow. Of course all the groomsman and the groom joked about us and was hollering at us. lol So as we were taking pictures, the photographer told us to pair up with the person we were going to walk down the aisle with and as we were waiting, he put his arms around my waist. It felt weird. I mean, of course anyone would put their arms around someone's waist because it's for pictures and no one thinks more when they're out in the cold. lol The wind starting blowing snow at us and I screamed that the snow was going down my dress. He then blocked the snow from hitting me and asked me if I was okay. I just nodded. After the pictures, we did a quick rehearsal and he asked about something and began to rub my right arm for a few seconds. Of course I didn't want to start or say anything so I just acted as if I didn't even notice it. Funny thing was my sister was there when it happened. She thought it was weird of him to do that to me since we rarely knew each other. He then gave me those hot pocket warmer thing to hold since the wedding took place outside.
Sometimes I feel like he doesn't like me as a person in general since he rarely talks to me, but at times he seems fine with me. He apologized to me later that day that he was just joking with me when we had to do our speech for the newlyweds. I just told him that it was okay. As we both were in one of the rooms switching the songs, we came across one of the Chinese group, Fahrenheit's song on my iTunes, he was like, "Oh! Ti Amo! Play that song." I just told him that it was a Chinese song. He then asked me, "Do you know what Ti Amo means?" I was like, "Yeah. It's 'I love you'." I felt weird saying that because well, I'm answering a guy's question on what Ti Amo means. I'm not sure how to explain how it felt but hopefully it makes sense? lol Later that night I was planning to leave back to the cabin that my family and I were staying at to change my shoes. It was only less than 10 feet from the venue. It was negative something outside and I had nothing to cover me. So, as I was going to walk out, my new brother in law asked me where I was going. I just told him that I was going back to the cabin to change my shoes quickly. He then told the best man to carry me back to the cabin. I automatically declined the offer since as a woman, we're quite insecure of our weight even if we're small. lol He carried me anyways and all the way back to the cabin in the cold. We literally almost fell when he lifted me up, because I became tense which made me even heavier to carry. lol He waited for me to return to the venue just in case I still needed him to carry me back, which I didn't because I was changed into my flats instead. The night just ended there. We didn't interact at all after that since I left to sleep. The next morning as I was leaving, he was waiting at the door to say bye when he didn't need to. Me, being the shy person, took forever to leave the house because I didn't want to say anything to him in front of my family. My family already left to the car by then. He came up to me and said, "Bye". I just gave him a side hug and thanked him for being a good partner. We had a quick 1 min. convo before I left. I just asked him when he was leaving back home, and he just told me that he's leaving back to Italy this weekend. I told him that we probably won't see each other this week if nothing goes on. He told me that there's a good chance we will see each other again before he leaves. We just said our Bye's after. Turns out, I saw him again last night, and I probably will again tonight. I know, this is boring and it's probably just all in my head. I don't even know what his spec is nor do I know what my brother in law tells him privately. My brother in law has been trying to hook me up with him for the longest time. I don't know if he even tells him that. lol The downfall is that he is already dating. I don't know how his relationship with her is like. Apparently he is open to anyone here in the States. My BIL keeps saying that he wants to marry an American girl, and he's here to look for a wife. I'm just like, "What in the world..? He ain't loyal!" LOL He's a nice guy but very much like my BIL. I'm not too fond of my BIL, specifically his personality, but we're okay though. lol I mean, they're not entirely alike but they behave alike in some sense. I don't think I left a good impression to him in a way. I was quite moody looking the entire time we were at the cabin prior to the wedding. I was just nervous. Okay, I have this problem where I get nervous when I meet people in person after being friends on FB for quite awhile. When I talked to him, I kept stuttering and my English went from good, normal to terrible. I couldn't even say the right words but then with everyone else I was totally fine. I barely made any eye contact with him when in general I would always make eye contact. I've been having a hard time sleeping lately too because I would think about what happened at the wedding and just him in general. My heart beats quite fast and I get all smiley when I think about him or when I'm around him. Probably just because I'm nervous. lol I didn't expect to maybe "like" him at all. I think it's just a phase at the moment though. I do really want to talk to him and get to know him better at least before he leaves in a few days. There just hasn't been a good, appropriate time for us to talk without my family around. All I can hope is that we would get a chance to talk tonight. I mean, I would have talked to him, but I don't know what to talk to him about. One of my friend at the wedding kept teasing me and that too bad he's taken because we looked good together. I'm like, "Uhh...that's weird." Weird because I find it weird when people compliment me like that. Haha. I'm just a weird person in general. I mean, this could be all just me. He probably doesn't care nor does he think more since he is a guy after all, not to generalize though. We're both culturally different too, so his actions could be normal to him but different to me. I don't know. I'm probably just infatuated by what he did to and for me. I mean, I have never been lift off my feet/carried by a guy before or had a guy helped me down the stairs before. I'm quite boring. lol As a girl, we get flattered easily. I'm so old, yet I'm acting like a little girl. lol Honestly, he's not my type of guy at all, but for some reason he was able to make himself become one. Haha. What do you guys think? Be honest with me because I obviously know that it's probably just all in my head. lol Stupid of me to even ask in the first place. Hahha.
 

fun

YGfamily
[SIZE=13.63636302948px]Hopefully your brother in law was joking about him looking for an American girl as a wife because that would be a red flag there. That means he wants to become a [/SIZE]permanent[SIZE=13.63636302948px] US citizen. [/SIZE]
 
There are so many possibility. Although he is in a relationship, it doesn't hurt to get to know him. That's how relationship starts and how it ends. If it goes well, it could develop into something more and that might trigger him to break up with his girlfriend and start anew. Just make sure before you take that big step, he needs to organize his feelings and break off with his girlfriend. If it doesn't go well... either stay as friends/acquaintance or end the relation.
 

cecilia

Staff member
That's so cute. Normally, I don't encourage people going after someone who's taken but if they're meant to be with each other, nothing can stop them, right? lol
 
Maybe, talk to him as a friend first and see how thing works between him and you. The feeling could just be a phase or it could be something more.  I remember going through a phase similar to this -- no, no body lifting. Just random  shyness between the groom's side of the family and I. After my cousin and her husband left the wedding, I went back to normal. I think it's just a phase for me because  neither one of us take actions then lol. And yes, being a woman, it's quite rare for us to approach someone we like ... perhaps, if you want to really know the truth, maybe take action to show that you're interest in him. But still, feel bad for his gf. I don't know .. now, I have no advice for you anymore lol
 
Just follow what Funfun suggested up there :)
 
BTW, he's cute!
 

fun

YGfamily
Hey what they say if they're not married, you still got a chance. Just make sure before you take that step in advancing a friendship that both of you are single, in this case, that would be him. Take advice from He's Just Not That Into You, your situation might be the exception.
 

Maya_Fantasy

sarNie Oldmaid
I think is just a phase, plus you two has been FB friend so that giddy feeling of meeting in person can trigger all those excitment and weird feelings you're having toward him. Also his chivalry conduct can be to some extent is a cultural things. Italian men can be very good with their mannerism when they wanted to be, so is not always a good sign to tell if they like you more than a friend.  I've hang around with few Italian male friends and their familys to know that they do treat the females quite well in chivalrous ways. Anyway, sometime when the right person come along you will know he is the one, he does not even have to be carrying you, but instead you will want to carry him yourself hahaha lolz.  
But hey like Cecilia said, "if it's meant to be, it's meant to be", right now I believe is best to leave it at that... as a friend and continue your friendship via FB like before.  
If he want to take to the next level, as a man I believe he will know what he'll have to do and is "him" that'll have to decide to end his relationship with his girlfriend and to pursuit you or not.
Goodluck finding your "the one" :thumbsup:
 
BTW, I find your story quite cute and dreamy though. :yes:
 

x0unerthanlater

`my dragon's blood is blue`
Anyone in your situation would be quite taken by a man who literally "sweeps her off her feet" lol. I know I would faint in a heartbeat. It's a sure thing that would make my heart beat faster and make me daydream, I don't think your reactions to him was weird at all. It sounds lovely and normal to react that way. if you want to know if there's anything more you could pursue other than being FB friends, then you'll either have to test the waters by talking to him (getting to know his personality) or just downright flirt with him in a subtle way. Depending on his reaction, you can go from there. If you do flirt with him and he reciprocates, then you may have to use some inner vibe radar to help you decide if he's doing it casually or if he's serious...
 
If you weren't so shy I would've suggested you just outright ask him if he's open to getting to know someone else... BUT since we're women and we have to behave with modesty, you could try to by friends first... then best friends.... if he trusts you about things and talks to you about stuff he doesn't talk to with anyone else... then you'll just know he's into you. If you want him, like as a boyfriend, the friend route is good. Guys don't really like girls who come on to them too strongly. They like to chase challenges. 
 

aikoden

♥DREAMER♥
Staff member
Awwwe, reading your story is adorable and cute, quite bubbly.
 
I do agree with the other girls.  It may be a phase state you're in right now, but if you feel that that particular feeling is still there after a certain period, befriend him and leave it to fate.  If you two aren't fated, at least you two can still be good friends.  I've seen the pic of you two, and it's quite cute! Narak <3  Such a dreamy act you went through, I want to be swept off my feet too.
 
And hehe, for the love of Fahrenheit and their song "Ti Amo" to appear XD " Ti Amo~ Te Quiero~"
 

sarN

sarNie Granny
That was such a cute and  romantic moment awww ! Us women are bunch of romantic loony when it come to guy that make our heart flutter  and we look for moment to be swoon about them ! Just start as friends , it's better to play hard  to get and pretend to be naive but you can secretly lets your mind and heart observe his behavior/reaction/feeling before deciding if he worth a catch ! There are guys that's not my type but I still flirt with them and believe me , I fall in love like 10 X a day because I work in a tattoo shop , there LOT OF GUY that come in and take off their shirt for me to view all the time HAHA . If that Italian guy can make you swoon,  imagine me in a room full of them. I can tell your probably the shy type and a hopeless romantic as well , the best advice I can tell you , is be bold and confidence when it come to romance , I wasn't as flirtatious when I was younger but not anymore , like wine I became better and more confidence , I could approach any man and boldly flirt/tease him till i tickle his funny bone.  You said that you are older , come on now , we are adult then , loosen up and flirt back to catch his reaction .  
 

roselovesice

방탄소년단 x Bangtan Sonyeondan x JiTaew
Thanks ladies! Hehe I'll try to just talk to him and stop being shy. I'm just afraid that I'll say the wrong thing. lol I'm usually the confident type but for some reason, with him I was a little off than normal. Good thing none of my family member noticed it. I kept it cool around them. lol I cannot flirt for crap. I'm those "innocent" girls who has no experience in anything. Haha. Honestly, I don't plan to be more than friends with him at the moment. I just want to keep it where it is as of now. I probably won't see him anytime soon after he leaves. It took 4 years for him to come back to the States after he finished school here as a foreign exchange student. I won't see him again until after he graduates college, maybe. He's about a year older than me, but he's one of those kids who started school late, so we're technically the same age but not literally. Just graduation wise. lol I will definitely take in all your advices and be confident about it. I don't like to court guys who are already taken, which is why I kept my distance the entire time. I'll have to somehow talk to my BIL about the best man and his GF, but then again, I don't want him to tease me since he always does. I am shy in general, so I'm a little afraid to open up about certain guys I like in general, especially when it's mutual friends and whatnot. I can't even talk to my family about this because I'm so shy to tell them about it, and I don't want them to tease me. lol I don't really find my story dreamy or cute...Hahaha. But I suppose. Thanks again. :D
 
@Fun, I have no idea. My BIL likes to joke a lot, so I couldn't tell if he was being serious or not. lol I'll have to ask again. Haha.
@Sarn, Hahha is 20 years considered old? lol I have about 69 days left until my 21st birthday. Haha! 
 

x0unerthanlater

`my dragon's blood is blue`
20?! Oh dear lawd, you are certainly not old and most definitely shouldn't let this one time occurrence get to you. You're still young enough to enjoy flirting and having your options open. Plus, he does have a girlfriend so you really don't want to push ahead about something you're unsure of. The best thing to do is being friends and lightly flirt. The flirting can be pretty simple, just start off with joking with him. Guys love a girl who makes them laugh. (girls love guys who makes them laugh... see any similarities? lol) Start by something like, "Hey, how's your day? I bet you miss me. *giggle a little* and say JK. xD That'll be the start of something. Just a little.
 

sarN

sarNie Granny
 light flirting ? is there such a thing ? then what I been doing to my client  must be hardcore flirting lol! try this , " Hey, I been thinking about you" ( it will make him curious ) what ever his reply is , say "just want to say hi" LMAO
 

x0unerthanlater

`my dragon's blood is blue`
sarN said:
 light flirting ? is there such a thing ? then what I been doing to my client  must be hardcore flirting lol! try this , " Hey, I been thinking about you" ( it will make him curious ) what ever his reply is , say "just want to say hi" LM
 
 
Yes, sarN lol you are a hardcore flirtatious lovebug. But, you know your game. I don't think Rose has that level of skill yet. tehehe
 

sarN

sarNie Granny
True lolz. Don't try it to random guys @ rose . Wait till you are like 28-50 . Young girls  should explore the hunting ground not start off chasing prey like me lol I'm at the age so it's ok. There are guys that will take it as an invitation if you don't be careful because you have to learn how to step on the brake and make excuses without looking fake/cheap/scar when they advances on you . Start from friend is a good way to have a relationship . Since i lost 5 years of my youth , I been a little reckless in the dating game because time is pressuring down on me with all my friend have family already but I know my game and I'm a confidence person . I have control of the situation at all time and never step over boundary w/ man I hit on , I know when to joke , when to stop , when to be serious and most importantly not to lead them on.
 

roselovesice

방탄소년단 x Bangtan Sonyeondan x JiTaew
LOL You two are too funny. Yes, I know I have a long life ahead of me. I'm not letting this occurrence get the best of me, and I'm definitely keeping my options open. :) Even though I'm only 20 years old, I'm going to graduate undergrad school next year and it's not like I feel old but life just isn't getting any interesting. lol I mean, of course I'm not letting this "event' be an excuse for me to feel this way or let it be something to fill in this "void" in me. I don't know. This is the first time I've felt this way. Kind of weird. Haha. I don't have much guy friends too so to find my other half is going to be quite hard. I'm pretty old school myself, so I expect the man to make the move. Haha. Whatever happens, happens. And yes, if it's meant to be then it's meant to be. :)  

And gosh, if only I can flirt like that. Haha! He'll probably look at me weird if I was to say any of those things. LOL I would probably come at him too strong. Haha! We're both Christians too, so our perspective on certain things are quite different in some aspect. I'm not saying that it's any different from a secular view. We, as Christians, flirt as well too but with him it'll be quite difficult. Just maybe. lol Well, I know my limit when it comes to jokes and whatnot. I've been told that I'm quite the flirty type, but I disagree with that. I'm just too friendly and nice that people automatically thinks I'm flirting when I'm talking to the opposite gender. I've restrain from being too "friendly" because of a problem that rose during my freshman year of college. I've kept my cool since then. Haha. I've never done anything bad or gone out to hardcore parties or clubbing in my life, since I grew up very sheltered. I'm one of those girls who always put her focus on her education and future career, alongside her family, so I guess when something like this happened, it was very new to me and caused me to feel this way. It's like life just got a bit interesting and fun. LOL 
 

Gloriawongpuapan

C’est La Vie
Well, there's nothing wrong with being attracted to someone. However, the fact that he already has a girlfriend raises a huge, red flag. It's not good to be interested in a man who already has a woman in his life for obvious reasons. So many things can go wrong. Until he is fully single and ready to pursue you, I say go ahead and get to know him. TAKE YOUR TIME! Everyone can come off as a nice person in the beginning, but they don't reveal their true colors until when things go wrong. I may be old fashion, but I prefer you to let him make the first moves. Have him visit you and take you out on dates/etc. Don't be afraid to be yourself, but have your guard up. You barely know him from what I read.
 
Good luck.
 

roselovesice

방탄소년단 x Bangtan Sonyeondan x JiTaew
@Gloria, I don't intend to be any more than friends with him at this stage since he is dating someone back home in Italy. I'm definitely taking my time. LOL Sometimes you just can't control yourself for some reason. Haha. I wouldn't say we barely know each other. I mentioned it earlier that we've talked for a few weeks long before wedding, but it's been awhile since then. My BIL always talk about him, so I always know what he's up to and whatnot. Sadly, it's the other way around in this case. Haha! But thanks! :D
 

Gloriawongpuapan

C’est La Vie
roselovesice said:
@Gloria, I don't intend to be any more than friends with him at this stage since he is dating someone back home in Italy. I'm definitely taking my time. LOL Sometimes you just can't control yourself for some reason. Haha. I wouldn't say we barely know each other. I mentioned it earlier that we've talked for a few weeks long before wedding, but it's been awhile since then. My BIL always talk about him, so I always know what he's up to and whatnot. Sadly, it's the other way around in this case. Haha! But thanks! :D
So glad to hear! I wouldn't want you to rush yourself, but I see you're a very smart person. :) best of lucks. If you need any other advice, feel free to ask.
 

sarN

sarNie Granny
roselovesice said:
@Gloria, I don't intend to be any more than friends with him at this stage since he is dating someone back home in Italy. I'm definitely taking my time. LOL Sometimes you just can't control yourself for some reason. Haha. I wouldn't say we barely know each other. I mentioned it earlier that we've talked for a few weeks long before wedding, but it's been awhile since then. My BIL always talk about him, so I always know what he's up to and whatnot. Sadly, it's the other way around in this case. Haha! But thanks! :D
 
I completely understand . AMEN.
 

roselovesice

방탄소년단 x Bangtan Sonyeondan x JiTaew
Gloriawongpuapan said:
So glad to hear! I wouldn't want you to rush yourself, but I see you're a very smart person. :) best of lucks. If you need any other advice, feel free to ask.
Haha Yes. Thank you!! :D
 
sarN said:
I completely understand . AMEN.
LOL Yes you would Sarn. Yes you would. HAHHA. 
 
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