Is texting another person consider cheating?

lilo

sarNie Juvenile
Hey ladies,
So, I've been in a relationship for about 1 yrs and a few months. I just found out my bf is texting another girl asking her to go on a date or per their conversation "it's a hang out." Do you ladies consider that cheating? Should I reconsider this re just call it quits or should I confront him first. My good friend is telling me it cheating. I don't want to jump into conclusion yet if it just a friend type of thing. What is the best way to bring it up?
 

x0unerthanlater

`my dragon's blood is blue`
If he's texting another girl, it's not necessarily cheating. BUT if he's texting her asking to "hang out" aka go on a date, then it's considered cheating. Why should he feel the need to go on a date, I mean, hang out with another girl? Unless you knew about their close friendship before...
 
P

PrincessKarina

Hey ladies,
So, I've been in a relationship for about 1 yrs and a few months. I just found out my bf is texting another girl asking her to go on a date or per their conversation "it's a hang out." Do you ladies consider that cheating? Should I reconsider this re just call it quits or should I confront him first. My good friend is telling me it cheating. I don't want to jump into conclusion yet if it just a friend type of thing. What is the best way to bring it up?
Girl I don’t appreciate anything from my significant other that will make me feel “uneasy” or “uncomfortable”. Trust me if your gut is telling you something isn’t right...it isn’t. Leave him ASAP before more heartache! Trust me if he really loves you there are no secrets and you weren’t have to “find out” he was texting another girl even if it’s friend hanging out with friend. Because he would’ve told you before hand! I hate how they play us stupid. Argh! Yes talk it out with him. It’s definitely cheating even texting. He weren’t like it either if you do that to him. I wish you the best. You deserves more. :)
 

maimyang

If only Charlie
I’d be alarmed and wonder why he’s texting some girl if it is out of the blue, unless they’ve known each other for a longggg time and are friends. I think some guys and girls can be friends but if he is doing things behind your back and hiding things so you won’t know then he probably is cheating.
 

lilo

sarNie Juvenile
I would say the same. I just had a conversation with him and I ask him if we are in a relationship. His reply was yes. So if yeshe consider us in a relationship then he shouldn't do that. I feel unease about it. I haven't confront him in regards to my finding yet. Twice I had tired to confront him but I fail both time it was not the right timing. what would be the best way to bring it up.
 
Last edited:
P

PrincessKarina

I would say the same. I just had a conversation with him and I ask him if we are in a relationship. His reply was yes. So if yeshe consider us in a relationship then he shouldn't do that. I feel unease about it. I haven't confront him in regards to my finding yet. Twice I had tired to confront him but I fail both time it was not the right timing. what would be the best way to bring it up.
Sweetie you have to find a personal time for you and him for these talks. Remember guys cannot stand a stronger girl than themselves. Meaning you have to follow your heart and stand up for yourself when the relationship hasn’t progress as long. Don’t make excuses for yourself for this will only hurt you longer. As soon as you find personal time for just the two of you then you have to straight up confront him about the text. From past experiences I realize us girls are too scared to “lose” them so we make exuses for ourselves and them to stay together in the unhealthy relationship. If you don’t confront him about the text it will continue to eat you inside. Why must you suffer? I’m over these suffering unhealthy relationships. If you love yourself do yourself a favor now. Plus the sooner you find out the truth the faster you will start the healing process (whatever the conclusion)! Good luck!
 

lilo

sarNie Juvenile
Sweetie you have to find a personal time for you and him for these talks. Remember guys cannot stand a stronger girl than themselves. Meaning you have to follow your heart and stand up for yourself when the relationship hasn’t progress as long. Don’t make excuses for yourself for this will only hurt you longer. As soon as you find personal time for just the two of you then you have to straight up confront him about the text. From past experiences I realize us girls are too scared to “lose” them so we make exuses for ourselves and them to stay together in the unhealthy relationship. If you don’t confront him about the text it will continue to eat you inside. Why must you suffer? I’m over these suffering unhealthy relationships. If you love yourself do yourself a favor now. Plus the sooner you find out the truth the faster you will start the healing process (whatever the conclusion)! Good luck!
I kindly appreciate your advice.
 

xodxo

•Muey❤️Thian•
Hey ladies,
So, I've been in a relationship for about 1 yrs and a few months. I just found out my bf is texting another girl asking her to go on a date or per their conversation "it's a hang out." Do you ladies consider that cheating? Should I reconsider this re just call it quits or should I confront him first. My good friend is telling me it cheating. I don't want to jump into conclusion yet if it just a friend type of thing. What is the best way to bring it up?
Dang girl ... it sucks to be in any relationship like this, but first of all, do you know that girl? How long have you and your bf been dating? Is she close to you? Is she your friend? If any of these are no, then you should be suspicious and have every right to question why he’s texting another random girl to hang out when you’re his gf. First, he needs to respect you and make you feel his priority. Maybe you should try talking to him? Do you already know if he’s hiding “her” from you? If he is, then girl, you need to trust yourself and have a good and constructive conversation with him? There is no need for him to be texting anyone behind your back and for you to have to find out later? That’s the worst feeling. Cuz you don’t know if he’s cheating or trying to leave you. For me, I personally would rather have him tell me if he’s no longer having feelings for me, then to text someone else and make me feel “cheated” on. That’s the worst feeling.

Am I making any sense? Haha. I hope I am. You both need trust and respect in your relationship. Those are the most important aspects. So, look into yourself, him and your relationship and ask why/where things have gone wrong. And yes, you both should be able to have a normal conversation if you feel he’s not treating you right by texting some other girl. Good luck.

Keep us posted.
 

lilo

sarNie Juvenile
Dang girl ... it sucks to be in any relationship like this, but first of all, do you know that girl? How long have you and your bf been dating? Is she close to you? Is she your friend? If any of these are no, then you should be suspicious and have every right to question why he’s texting another random girl to hang out when you’re his gf. First, he needs to respect you and make you feel his priority. Maybe you should try talking to him? Do you already know if he’s hiding “her” from you? If he is, then girl, you need to trust yourself and have a good and constructive conversation with him? There is no need for him to be texting anyone behind your back and for you to have to find out later? That’s the worst feeling. Cuz you don’t know if he’s cheating or trying to leave you. For me, I personally would rather have him tell me if he’s no longer having feelings for me, then to text someone else and make me feel “cheated” on. That’s the worst feeling.

Am I making any sense? Haha. I hope I am. You both need trust and respect in your relationship. Those are the most important aspects. So, look into yourself, him and your relationship and ask why/where things have gone wrong. And yes, you both should be able to have a normal conversation if you feel he’s not treating you right by texting some other girl. Good luck.

Keep us posted.
All of those questions I would have to say no too. At this moment I am am torn cause I got out of a relationship like this and now I just walking into the same thing. I can't even think of why and when. We may have our minor argument but I didn't think it was bad cause we talk it out after.
 

maimyang

If only Charlie
The best way to bring it up? This is what I would do~

Calmly, say to him that you’d like to speak to him in private about something that’s been on your mind lately. Let him know that he’s your only one and ask him if it’s true for him too? Let him know you’re serious about the relationship. If he says “yes, you’re my only one too” then go into how you’re hurt and alarmed because you found something in his phone.. you’re not sure if you’re thinking the right thing or not? Does he have a girl friend that he likes to hang out with? You don’t understand why he would text another girl that, unless he’s been hanging out with her well before you two dated. Ask him questions like~

Is she just a friend?

How long have you known her?

Are there romantic feelings involved?

If you feel he is hiding stuff or can’t keep his story straight or is nervous or can’t look you in the eye, he’s prob into that other girl sorry to say. Better to find out now than hold it off until later! All the best:)
 

maimyang

If only Charlie
Oh yeah, don’t sound angry and like you’re accusing him of something.. rather, remain calm and collected! Levelheaded so you can decide what to do next (;
 

SuzieJ

sarNie OldFart
Here is what I have to say. Don’t ask him anything about these hangouts or messages directly. Wait until he finally sets a day where he actually is gonna hang out with this girl. That day, when he is getting ready to leave ask him where’s he is going that day and who he is going out with. If he lies and doesn’t tell you that he’s going to be hanging out with this girl and tells you he’s hanging out with his other friends, confront him. Don’t be too confrontational. Be nice and calm. Ask him why he didn’t tell you the truth. You can tell really easily if you have caught him in a lie. Break up with him girl. But if he does tell you that he is hanging out with this girl then that means he has nothing to hide from you. Texting your female friends would’nt be an issue to me unless I sense flirtatious talking in the messages!
 
Last edited:

maimyang

If only Charlie
Here is what I have to say. Don’t ask him anything about these hangouts or messages directly. Wait until he finally sets a day where he actually is gonna hang out with this girl. That day, when he is getting ready to leave ask him where’s he is going that day and who he is going out with. If he lies and doesn’t tell you that he’s going to be hanging out with this girl and tells you he’s hanging by out with his other friends, confront him. Don’t be too confrontational. Be nice and calm. Ask him why he didn’t tell you the truth. You can tell really easily if you have caught him in a lie. Break up with him girl. But if he does tell you that he is hanging out with this girl then that means he has nothing to hide from you. Texting your female friends would’nt be an issue to me unless I sense flirtatious talking in the messages!
I love love your post ^__^


Btw, @lilo , how did you manage to see those messages? Just curious.
 

SuzieJ

sarNie OldFart
I love love your post ^__^


Btw, @lilo , how did you manage to see those messages? Just curious.
Thanks girl lol I can turn into a little detective when I want to know something! Interrogating someone when they don’t really know that I’m questioning them is my specialty haha

I’m interested in knowing how you saw the messages as well.
 

lilo

sarNie Juvenile
I love love your post ^__^


Btw, @lilo , how did you manage to see those messages? Just curious.
I had to use his phone to use Google map. My dad was lost coming to visit me and I was on my phone with my dad. As I was done with using his phone. I closed it, but then his phone beep and there was the message from the girl.
 

lilo

sarNie Juvenile
Here is what I have to say. Don’t ask him anything about these hangouts or messages directly. Wait until he finally sets a day where he actually is gonna hang out with this girl. That day, when he is getting ready to leave ask him where’s he is going that day and who he is going out with. If he lies and doesn’t tell you that he’s going to be hanging out with this girl and tells you he’s hanging out with his other friends, confront him. Don’t be too confrontational. Be nice and calm. Ask him why he didn’t tell you the truth. You can tell really easily if you have caught him in a lie. Break up with him girl. But if he does tell you that he is hanging out with this girl then that means he has nothing to hide from you. Texting your female friends would’nt be an issue to me unless I sense flirtatious talking in the messages!
I agree with you when you say that texting another female friend isn't an issue but in the text that I saw it was flirtatious. Got that feeling out of it.
 

SuzieJ

sarNie OldFart
I agree with you when you say that texting another female friend isn't an issue but in the text that I saw it was flirtatious. Got that feeling out of it.
Okay so go with my plan girl! Don’t let him know that you found out about the text messages. Let them keep texting until they set a day to hang out with each other. On that day, ask who he is hanging out with and if he lies to you, then confront him but be very calm. If the texts are flirtatious then yeah girl you need to be very suspicious. Even if he doesn’t actually make a date to hang out with her, Texting people while flirting with them is a big huge NO!
 
Top