my best friend, me and her bf


sarNie OldFart
Hi! It's my first time posting in this section :D Throughout my college life, I have this small circle of friends that I always hang out with. I consider them as my college best friends LOL So one of my best friends started dating this guy when we were in our junior year (that was in 2010) in college. My other best friends and him instantly became friends ‘coz they all belong to the same class (our college department arranges us by our last names alphabetically so I don’t have the same classes as them). My best friend, his gf, confessed to me that her bf is always shy whenever I’m around. He instantly leaves whenever I’m around and he just talks to me if necessary. I remembered telling him that I don’t bite so it’s safe to talk to me LOL so fast forward to 2012, we all graduated together last March AND attended the same review center from April to June. Her bf finally started talking to me and we also became friends. He started texting me too. Our review sessions ended last June but her bf still keeps on texting me but I seldom reply LOL. 2 months ago, I changed my phone and some of my contacts are lost. There was this one unknown number who texted me “how are you, babe? I missed you.” Since I am quite playful, I replied, “I’m fine, babe. But who are you?” LOL I already found out it was him since I asked my other friends if they know the unknown number. Then he replied, “I’m your bf, babe.” I was like, WTF, the last time I’ve checked I don’t have a boyfriend, I don’t even had a boyfriend my entire life LOL (and I’m already 21 hahaha) I just played along with him and I started to call him “babe” too. It’s nothing to me ‘coz I usually text my gay friends with the same endearments. So we were texting almost everyday until he started to text me “I love you” messages. I stopped texting him since he told me he has feelings for me. He told me that’s why he was being so shy around me before ‘coz he already has feelings for me. He even asked me to marry him after 8 years! I just told him I’ll think about it since I already made a promise to marry my gay friend LOL but kidding aside, I told him that he can’t have more-than-friends feelings for me ‘coz he would just break my best friend’s heart. I know she loves him so much. I even asked him if he still loves my best friend and he told me, he loves her but he also loves me and started saying sorry to me because of his feelings. The worse part is, my best friend doesn’t even know that her bf has feelings for me too! My other best friend already knows this. She even warned me not to fall for him and reassured me that I deserve a guy far better than him. Now I’m torn between keeping all of this from my best friend or should I just tell her? I’m afraid that they might break up if my best friend finds out… I need your advice! HELP!

p. Zoua

sarNie Oldmaid
ah, damn that's a tough one. But i'd say stay away from the guy who's dating ur best friend. Tell him straight up that you're not into him and for him to love your best friend since he dated her. Since he already chose to date ur friend, he should just stay with her and love her fully to the heart. Since he's ur friend's lover too, you shouldn't get too involve with him. If your friendship really is important, then let it be. It's not worth to ruin ur friendship over one guy. But I'd say, tell ur friend if ur a true friend. Tell her, but in a calm way or something. It's better than her finding out right? and She'll be like How come u never told me? Not to say the guys mean but what if she finds out through him or someone else and they flip the words around to make u seem like the bad one. She'll ask him if She (you) knew? and He'll say yes. I told her or something u know.

This guy seems like a guy who has lots of hearts, so if he has the heart to love someone else, he probably wouldn't have the heart to love ur friend as much too. One guy isn't worth ruining ur friendship over.