my problem =(


sarNie Hatchling
Hi Sarnies! ^-^
i was hoping u all could help me with a piece of problem in my life..ehehe. its being heavy on my heart and i cant concentrate in my first year of college =( and i hate it cuz i know my parents will be disappointed in me when they find hopefully you guys can have some kinda advice for me =) sooo...the story begins...

it was back in may of this year...and i met a guy. he's my friend's cousin..and so i know his side that lives nearby me pretty well. but the his parents and my friend;s parents had the idea of setting us up on a date. was the third time we met each other that we finally talked. but it was good conversations that we had..and in the end, he gave me a bouquet of flowers he picked and he asked for my phone number (to my surprise, which he already got from my other friends, or his cousins)

we've been keeping in touch...but hes sucha busy person that we only talk once a week or once every two week. i went to visit my cousins (who lives near him) this summer...i went to the market and when he got off work, he came there as well...but we missed each other by a few minutes. he texted me and seemed pretty bummed out about it. but we're hoping to meet again thanksgiving. since then, we;ve still kept in touch.

but about last week, i met a guy..and we;ve talked everyday. and whenever he;s on msn, he would show me these cute and moral-ful music videos about the world, loving each other, etc. i showed him a vid of Se7en;s Tattoo mv..and he asked me, "do u think the guy in se7en is hot?" he had also told me that he likes talking to me..and he also introduced me to his sister.

i think my heart strings are pulling for the two guys. =O they are both sooooo sweet. i asked advice from my cousin..and she said that Guy 1 seems to be my ideal guy, but it seems i like Guy 2 more. she also said that it seems Guy 1 likes me more than Guy 2.

Sarnies..i dont know what to do. What do u guys think? who like likes me and who only likes me as a friend? and does their family have to do with anything? me knowing Guy 1's family and Guy 2 introducing me to his sister? Please help me. (and not that kinda girl to ask straight up if the guy likes me or not...sorry) i want and need help to finish this semester of college or ima be thinking about this one specific problem! thank you ahead of time tho~! -zienan09
Just follow your heart. It doesn't lie.
your heart doesn't lie but can bring you on the wrong way.

Zienan09, you're still young. Why do you cares about all these things when you just have to take everything like it comes?! It's not because you will choose today, that it mean you'll end with one of them. Just take each moment like it comes and just say the thruth to each one and wait. You will see that the one who really love you, can wait, no matter how many times it ask, he 'll be here for you when the one who just want a date for the moment will be the first one who walk out. But like i say, you are young, you can keep go on with both of them, it's not a problem. It's not like you get engaged for your whole life and what you can experiment now, just do it. That's true, when Merit says that you have to follow your heart, but you have to also follow what your mind tell you. Beause heart without mind is nothing. and then, you're the only one who can say and choose between them.


Talk to both of them...there's nothing wrong with that as of right now until you decide to have a relationship with one of them. Becareful don't dig your hole too deep for the both of them or else it will be harder for you to climb out.


sarNie Fansubber
Guy #2, do you talk to him only on MSN or on the phone and meet outside too? Because how the person is in MSN isn't going to be the same in the outside. They may be shy, less talkative. Which one do you like? If you're not sure, then none of them is the one. You probably just want the best toy to play with. When you like someone, you just have a choice whether you want to be with him or not. But if you choosing between guys, then you're doubting your feelings.


Staff member
My motto if you can't decide which one you like more or want to choose then you don't like neither of them enough to pick.

Then again you just met the other guy. Give it some time get to know both of them maybe good friendships can come from it. The thing about college is people are really friendly. I knew a couple of guys my freshy year that people thought liked me and they did but as a friend til this day we are the best of friends now lol.

So take some time to get to know them maybe you just like them as friend. If a significant amount of time goes by and you still don't know then you don't like any of them.

From the sounds of it you don't like any of them in that way anyhow.

Also focus on school =] boys can always wait til later! LOL


sarNie Hatchling
Merit- that’s what many of my friends and cousins said too…idk…I cant really go with that statement anymore..

pleang sney- wow..I go with that motto too: take everyday as it comes. Buts ok…heart with mind…im still young. And ur last sentence…*sigh* yea…the truth comes down to me deciding..n thanks.

BaBeeLaiLai- okies…thanks. I hope I don’t dig any deeper…I hate how deep the hole is already..

thuynmt- yea..I see your point. I mean..I know my feelings for Guy 1 is true. But I think that Guy 2 is maybe just a “fling”. nd maybe u are right…that im doubting my feelings.

KhoOnxNouxWanxJai- that’s true, college is very friendly..lols. But okies..I’ll give it some more time. And thanks..I actually told myself that during the summer..nd I think I jinx myself lol.

Buts thank you to all of you ^-^ I guess I’ll give it some time…..I think it’s the only thing I can do for the moment anyway….


Staff member
Trust me you have plenty of time for boys, right now it's your freshmen year of college you should be focused. A good majority of freshmen do bad the first semester of college not saying you will but I've seen it happen. I regret wasting so much time on boys back when I was in high school and starting college. Although it didn't cause me to fail school or anything it was a complete waste of time lol. Now, I have my husband and I'm only 22. Although I love my husband and marriage. I've got to say life as a single woman was easier; he's not making my life rough, but it's my own individual responsibilities as a wife that is making my life rough. Not saying you'll go out and get married Lol but just my 2 cents ... your freshmen year of college should be the funnest experience ever so just enjoy it without the boyfriend, relationship, dating, and etc. Dating sure just as long as it doesn't get serious.


sarNie Hatchling
KhoOnxNouxWanxJai- lols. thanks. yea...i know boys are only gonna get in the way of school. maybe my problem is that im thinking too much about it. i'll just let things slide and just go with the flow. i mean...i guess things are meant to be the way they happens happen i guess.

Thookatha- lols. that doesnt work as good =/ one;s good looking..but one has a hot tattoo ;D maybe i;ll just flip a coin ;) lols..i joke. i dont play love like that.


sarNie Hatchling
^ ahaha. that makes it sound bad. wells, looks arent everything tho. o wells. i;ve been concentrating since i posted this post actually...its only the spare times, like now, that i stress. lols.


Bai Yang [♥] Fong T. Xiong
zienan09, you and I are quite alike. It's my first year in college too! But, the same story happened to me when I was a senior in high school, except I was caught up in a mess with three guys, not two. One guy met me at a funeral, and we started talking through Myspace; he's very similar to your Guy1. We know each other's family/cousins/friends/relatives, etc. He's very nice, and he's like...Very gentleman-ly (if that's a word O_O?). I really liked him because of how nice he is and stuff. He wanted to come see me, but I was busy or he didn't have time since he lived pretty far (he's a junior in college). We met once at a festival, exchanged phone numbers; but, we rarely talked. Probably once a week or once a month. During another festival, he went and I went. He called me after he left and was pretty upset to find out he had left just five minutes before I arrived. This was my Guy1 - he was jobless because he was in college.

However, during that time, I met one of my guy-friend's younger brother. We had started talking, and it seems quite obvious that he and I would hit it off pretty soon. We talked and texted a lot; sometimes we met up, he put in the effort to arrive at events and stuff. He had a younger brother that was dating my cousin so we had a lot to talk about; this guy put in a lot of effort into me. We met up at the festival where Guy1 called me after he left. This was my Guy2 - he was done with high school, not in college, but working as a factory worker and liked having fun on the side.

Sadly enough, I was torn between the two guys. But! To my disadvantage, a third guy came walking into my life. I went to a party, and he asked me to dance. I'm usually a hard-to-get kind of girl so I denied (and plus, I didn't know how to dance xD). He has such a beautiful smile. =) We didn't really interact with each other at all, he led a busy life and so did I. I sparked his interest, and yep; I had a huge crush on him. We just went on with life because we rarely ever met. We'd see each other around at events but I guess we were both too shy to approach each other. Finally, at the same festival that Guy1 called me, he approached me again. We talked, he asked for my number and I didn't give it to him, still being in my stubborn, hard-to-get mode. So then life went on after that. I wanted to see if he would keep pursuing me. But it didn't happen. So then it leaked around that I had a crush on him, and eventually it got to him so yeah. He found me on Myspace, we started talking A LOT. We exchanged phone numbers, met up, hung out, talked, texted like crazy mofos. This was my Guy3 - he is almost finished with college and also working with his dad at their shop.

I asked the people around, love-experienced folks. My aunts had no idea what kind of advice to give me. One aunt said to me that I should pick the one that can support me if they ended up married to me. So, she was basically telling me that Guy1 was the one to choose. My girls sided with Guy2 because of his efforts and how often we actually met and talked, etc. But once Guy3 became a bigger part of my life, my girls saw that I've basically been leaning towards him. I felt bad, and almost chose Guy1 because I knew how nice he was and he was loyal to me when we were talking and so I started to give up on Guy3. I eliminated Guy2 first because as I evaluated each guy, Guy2 was pretty aggressive and he didn't care much about the future in my eyes. I finally told myself that it'd be more cruel of me to date Guy1 if I didn't like him but just felt bad because he and I had known each other first, and he was nice, etc. I knew I liked Guy3 more than the other two guys by then. I told myself that once I choose one of those three guys, and it failed, then I wouldn't go running back to the other two and use them as rebounds. So then, I finally mustered up the courage to tell Guy1 that I already liked someone else. He took it nicely and moved on. Then I focused on Guy3, I liked him so much.

And look at me now. Almost eight months later and we're doing great. I love him so much. xD Of course, he knows about the me & three guys story; I told him and yep. =) My boyfriend's never jealous of me & other guys, damn him. >_< LOL. You'll be fine. Don't feel like you have to choose Guy1 or have to choose Guy2. Choose who you know you like most. And it seems to me that maybe Guy2 is your choice because you two must like each other more in order for you to put forth the effort to keep in contact on a daily/more-often basis. Guy1 and you, it seems you guys don't click as well since you two rarely ever communicate. So! I may be wrong, so don't listen to that analysis I just made. PICK WHO YOU LIKE MOST! Like Merit said, follow your heart. It'll work out best; and if it fails...Hey, at least you didn't date both of them. You'll be fine. If you really can't choose, then maybe you should wait until later before you make a decision. When I didn't know which guy to choose, my choice was to stop talking to all three so it'd be fair. Maybe you could just be better off as friends with both guys. But evaluate the two guys & see who you like most. Good luck, you'll be just fine! ^__^


sarNie Hatchling
OMGOSH!! i just typed a LONG reply...but ugh! it redirected me b/c it said "web page expired" GAH!!! make it short...

haibtuag..are you hmong? lols...just guessing from ur name b/c im sure it reads <hi><translation of dead> lols >.<"
buts yea..thanku ^-^

like i make it short (cuz im tired and wanting to get to bed..before the redirect thing) update..

i found out some stuff about Guy 2 that....made me think. and so.....earlier this week, i told him it aint gonna work. i kno i broke his heart..but i would just be lying to him and myself if i said that our relationship could go a far way. he was pretty upset..but generous to not make a big deal about it.

and i;ve been wanting to tell Guy 1 for some time now...was planning on today...until i found out yesterday that his cousin texted him saying i really really needed to talk to him...which got me all nervous and pessimestic again >.<" lols.
but i kno time aint waiting for no one, especially me. the guy is actually in a hard situation right now.....his parents says that if he doesnt have anyone in mind, they want to do an arranged marriage......soo...i definitely kno time isnt waiting..but i just can't bring my nerves to tell him.
however, i think i'm going to get it out of the way with......maybe tomorrow?...because i kno its a burden on my heart right now...and it has nothing to do with school. im still keeping up in school..actually a week ahead...but its just me as a whole....the stupid "what if's", you kno? yea...i should hurry up b/c time is running out..i think.
and yea...even after some lack of communication, i still like Guy 1.. >.<" so it might just be best to get it out with. if he takes it well, we'll see what happens..i guess. if he doesn't, i'll move on..i guess lol.

but thanku again haibtuag =D and i hope things keep looking good for you two~


Bai Yang [♥] Fong T. Xiong
Yes, I'm Hmong. ^__^;;;

But! I'm glad you've come to a conclusion & good luck!
You know, one of the good things about life is that
everything usually tends to fall into place in the right
ways. So don't get too iffy on tiny things. Good luck!