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Nothing is Eternal
*Starring*
Nadech as Athit
Yaya as Sasithorn
**
sneak peak
“You’re doing it wrong,” she scolded.
“Oh move over and stop being so bossy,” he rolled his eyes, making her drop her jaw in offense, “This isn’t rocket science. Only someone as clumsy as you would have to research how to put a diaper on a baby.”
She glared at him, her hands clearly holding the instructions from the diaper package that she had just got done reading thoroughly twice. Grumpily, she observed and secretly took mental notes as he went through the motions of gently cleaning and changing the baby boy on the couch.
Once he had secured the clean diaper, she scooped up the tiny person in his velvety blanket and cradled him.
“Uh, excuse me. It’s my turn to feed him,” he reminded sternly.
“He’s my baby so I get to feed him whenever I want.”
“He’s actually just as much my baby as yours, so if you don’t want to—“
“What? Going to kick me out?” she asked arrogantly.
“As a matter of fact that’s exactly what I was thinking. Thank you for not wasting my breath. Get out,” he narrowed his eyes at her.
She stuck her nose in the air and said, “No. I’m going to feed Tawan and then put him down for a nap.” She swaggered away without another word to the annoyed man, who chuckled the rolled up the dirty diaper into the garbage and followed her down the hall. “Sasithorn, give me my son.”
“Wait your turn Athit!”
------
Chapter 1
[Rewind back in time]
Dead. That was the word that echoed through his head louder than ever as he stood outside the wat a week after receiving the call. The only person who had ever been his family was dead, as truly as the dirt that lay beneath his feet. His eyes lifted to the gray sky, where the true sun seemed to hide in shame.
He entered the wat and searched out the memorial area that contained his brother’s name and ashes. Only then did he really catch sight of the flowers next to the memorial for the first time, and realized what they meant. The flowers meant that he was not the only one grieving for the loss of his friend and brother. His brother. Yet, the strangest thing was that he could not recollect anyone who would have taken the care to lay such beautiful flowers there. They were so clean that they must have just been laid out that very morning. His watch told him it was seven am. Who would have woken up before the sun to grieve for Tawan other than Athit himself?
------
Athit’s eyes opened, the misty sky peeking through the slit between the curtains hanging over the window. It was still early, but he couldn’t sleep any longer.
‘Take a break. Have some time to soak in the news,’ was what Wattana had suggested. Athit wasn’t sure how much more he could soak up; loneliness seemed to be endlessly generous, and grief all too willing company. And the duo was never complete without regret. Athit wished more than ever that he had spent as much time with Tawan as possible. But there had never been anything to suggest they wouldn’t have so much more time together.
Without knowing it, he was already on the road back to the wat. How mercilessly ironic. The person was gone and only now was lost time being made up.
Six am. Athit stood with hands shoved in his pocket, eyes on the red flowers, fresh as if each night the moon fed them with rejuvenating dew. Five days in a row he had come here and stared at these flowers that never wilted nor thrown out. Obviously they were being replaced every day.
Ambling back down the path on the wat grounds, Athit relived old memories. Their childhood, their education, the childish rivalry that only served to strengthen an everlasting bond. People said two suns couldn’t exist in one sky, but he and Tawan had proved them wrong. They never quarreled; they trusted each other with their lives. They’d kept in contact all the five years that Athit had gone abroad to work and never once was there a dip in their friendship. Except that five months earlier, he’d learned that Tawan had been keeping something from him. Upon hearing the news of what his brother had done, and who he had decided to work for, Athit had been adamant that Tawan back out. But Tawan insisted it was too late—Athit knew he was right too, and though his instincts told him to return home, Tawan swayed him into focusing on his work, promising his elder brother that nothing would go wrong, that their boss was taking care of him well.
And now, Tawan was gone.
.
Athit’s jaw stretched in a ferocious yawn. His curiosity was getting the better of him. He wanted to know who this person was who was visiting Tawan’s memorial every day, so he’d forced his butt out of bed at four am and was at the wat dark and early, the sky just barely tinted with pink.
His tired eyes blinked several times when a silhouette came into focus. Someone was outside the building. It had to be the one. Yes, there were the flowers. Athit drew closer and then his footsteps slowed. The person was a woman. And more clearly still, she was pregnant. Athit thought he would find answers, but he was now more confused than ever.
The next morning he was back and watched as the woman offered her flowers to Tawan, and sat on a mat on the ground. Why was she staying so long? He could see her lips moving. Athit breathed a light laugh not of derision but of amusement. The woman was talking to Tawan and having quite an animated discussion too, by the way her hands flew about with gestures and her smiles. Athit wondered if she was crazy. No, he had seen true insanity before.
Deciding not to disturb her, he stepped outside, took a deep breath from the morning air, and returned to the car, stretching his arms. There were other matters for him to think over also, he thought, as his hands clenched into fists.
.
For the next few days Athit continued to watch the woman from afar. He grew familiar with her face and her smile. She had large eyes and from his lookout spot, he wondered whether she was full blooded Thai. He could never catch any of her words clearly and without knowing why, he didn’t dare reveal himself. For some reason, he felt it would break some kind of spell, and the fact was, she looked so happy when she was sitting beside Tawan’s memorial, as if Tawan was right there next to her, that Athit felt like he could see his brother too.
Wattana asked over the phone, “Have any of the others contacted you?”
“No.” Athit hadn’t found it necessary to meet with any of his people in Thailand—at least not for now. But when he called for them, they would have a lot to answer for. He just wanted time alone at the moment. He yawned loudly.
“What’s up with you?”
“Tired. I’m going to bed now. Call if anything comes up.”
“What, already? It can’t be that late over there.”
Athit smiled. He still wasn’t used to his new sleep schedule, but was determined to keep up with the nameless woman.
------
“Damn.” He hurried into the memorial building, a yawn threatening to steal his breath. Panting from his rush, Athit arrived in time to see her push herself up from the ground. He still wondered how she could endure sitting on the hard ground for so long, but she never seemed to mind. Brushing her hands, then gathering yesterday’s flowers, she momentarily rested one hand on her slightly protruding belly and closed her eyes as if fighting off a dizzy spell. Athit put one foot out of the shadows, but the moment passed, and she strolled away in the opposite direction with a steady gait.
Standing in silence for a few minutes to stare at Tawan’s resting place, Athit finally decided to go back to the hotel. Nearing the wat’s entrance, he paused, with a strange ill-foreboding tingle sliding down his spine. What did it mean? He didn’t have a grasp on answers, but already, his feet turned around and retraced their way back where they’d come from. The memorial had a few other people, but the woman was gone. He tried one of the other exit routes. She was not yet in sight, but his feet didn’t stop nor did they turn around.
And now, they were running in reaction to the image that met his eyes –the woman had come into view. He witnessed the agonizing consequences of her feet halting, the forward motion of her body as it lost strength and the red flowers spilling across her body, trailing on the grass.
.
.
She opened her eyes to a half-darkness penetrated by soft light coming from a window. Bracing herself on her elbows, she blinked back the remainder of her grogginess and realized she was in a hospital room. That fact established, she instinctively pressed her hand to her abdomen, and relaxed when she felt the soft roundness.
“You’re awake.” Athit had been dozing lightly on the couch and only just noticed her movement. She returned his gaze with curiosity so that he felt compelled to reassure her. “Sorry I haven’t introduced myself. My name is Athit. I…” he noticed her eyes grew slightly rounder at the mention of his name, as if he had only just magically appeared, “I saw you at the wat when, you know, you fell, so I brought you here. How are you feeling?”
“Fine. Thank you.” She offered a gentle smile and he felt relieved that she wasn’t panicked or scared around him.
Having only watched her from afar before, he finally took note of her sharp yet delicate features—she was very pretty.
“I’m sorry to have bothered you. I should be going on my way now.”
“No!” He objected, seeing her about to push her blanket away. “You should wait until the doctor allows it. He said, er…” Athit winced sheepishly, “sorry, we didn’t know who to call, and I happened to be there so he told me about your health situation.”
“My situation of being pregnant?” she asked in a deadpan voice.
He glanced up and saw laughter in her eyes, and mentally laughed at himself for the roundabout words he chose. Biting back his own smile, Athit said, “It would be better if you rested well before leaving.”
She released a soft breath. “I’m grateful, but I can’t afford to stay here.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that. I’ll help you.”
“I couldn’t expect you to do such a thing, though I’m thankful for the offer.”
He watched in dismay as she slowly slid off the bed. “I’ve heard your voice before.”
His words made her pause. “Excuse me?” she asked.
Athit pursed his lips sternly. He was certain now, where he’d heard her voice. “Before you leave, let me ask you something. Why do you visit Tawan?”
She froze. They stared at one another as silence blanketed the atmosphere. “You saw me?”
He nodded. “Actually, I’ve watched you there for almost a week.” He stopped. “That…sounded a lot creepier than I meant it to.” As a smile stretched her face once more, he breathed a quiet laugh. “I’m sorry for not coming forward sooner,” he ruffled his hair.
“So it was you.”
“Hm?”
She lifted her eyes to him. “I kept having a feeling this past week like someone was present with me, and the aura was similar to Tawan’s, so I thought maybe his spirit was visiting me.” She seemed unembarrassed by her wishful thinking and chuckled at herself. “But no wonder your presence felt similar.”
“So…you mean you know who I am?”
She hesitated, then nodded.
“So it really was you, who called to tell me that he…died.”
Curious by this since she hadn’t given her name when they spoke over the phone, she asked, “How did you know?”
“I recognize your voice.”
Her eyes appraised him upon hearing this. “It’s just like what he told me about you. You memorize sounds well.”
This did not particularly please Athit. “Forgive me, but will you tell me your name? And how you met Tawan? Please,” he made his way over and led her to sit back on the bed comfortably. “I don’t know how close you were to him, but he would never give my phone number to just anyone.”
She pleasantly complied, “My name is…Sasithorn, and…” she smiled down at her slightly swollen abdomen. “Can you guess how close I was to Tawan?”
Of course, he had suspected they’d been in a relationship of some sort, but Athit hadn’t allowed himself to take that suspicion seriously. As if reading his thoughts, even though his face had given nothing away, Sasithorn said with amusement, “You must be wondering how it happened.” Her eyes glowed at some vivid endearing memories. “All it took was a moment of chance for us to meet and from there, he and I both knew we would be together.”
But why would Tawan have never mentioned her to Athit? As soon as the question formed, so did the answer. Athit observed the fragile woman beside him, thin yet sturdy, small yet full of energy. Tawan must have wanted to keep her safe.
“You said he told you about me…What sorts of things did he say?”
“Oh, nothing much about your job or…” she fished around idly for a word, “lifestyle. Just the important things, like your personality and passions.”
He couldn’t tell if she was serious or not. Anyone else would disagree that his “lifestyle” wasn’t important.
“There’s more I want to know.”
“I’m sure you have ways of finding more information than I could tell you.”
That was true, but those things could wait. He cleared his throat. “If you truly are Tawan’s woman, then as his brother, I wish to assist you as much as possible.”
“You must have more important things to take care of.”
“No. Nothing is as important as family…which is what you have become.” He firmly kept his eyes on her, serious and not wanting to hear any opposition. “Let me give you as much assistance as you need.”
“I guess…I could use a hand,” she smiled and it made him feel like she was doing him a favor. “I don’t really have anyone else.”
For some reason, he had assumed she was alone ever since seeing her. Yet he didn’t get the sense that she was a lonely person. “It’ll be easiest if we simply stay together in one place. Are you okay with that? I’ll make arrangements so you’ll be comfortable. Is there anything you need to move? Otherwise, I can provide whatever you need.”
Her face grew stern for the first time. “No. If we’re going to be living together, we must live at my apartment.”
His brow puckered. “Your apartment?” as if he could not fathom her suggestion.
Sasithorn’s face lit up again, nodding like a child who was excited about her new playmate. Athit wasn’t sure how, but her warm smile had a calming effect on him, and he was slowly understanding why Tawan had chosen to be with her.
------
comments worshipped !
jjinxx
Nothing is Eternal
*Starring*
Nadech as Athit
Yaya as Sasithorn
**
sneak peak
“You’re doing it wrong,” she scolded.
“Oh move over and stop being so bossy,” he rolled his eyes, making her drop her jaw in offense, “This isn’t rocket science. Only someone as clumsy as you would have to research how to put a diaper on a baby.”
She glared at him, her hands clearly holding the instructions from the diaper package that she had just got done reading thoroughly twice. Grumpily, she observed and secretly took mental notes as he went through the motions of gently cleaning and changing the baby boy on the couch.
Once he had secured the clean diaper, she scooped up the tiny person in his velvety blanket and cradled him.
“Uh, excuse me. It’s my turn to feed him,” he reminded sternly.
“He’s my baby so I get to feed him whenever I want.”
“He’s actually just as much my baby as yours, so if you don’t want to—“
“What? Going to kick me out?” she asked arrogantly.
“As a matter of fact that’s exactly what I was thinking. Thank you for not wasting my breath. Get out,” he narrowed his eyes at her.
She stuck her nose in the air and said, “No. I’m going to feed Tawan and then put him down for a nap.” She swaggered away without another word to the annoyed man, who chuckled the rolled up the dirty diaper into the garbage and followed her down the hall. “Sasithorn, give me my son.”
“Wait your turn Athit!”
------
Chapter 1
[Rewind back in time]
Dead. That was the word that echoed through his head louder than ever as he stood outside the wat a week after receiving the call. The only person who had ever been his family was dead, as truly as the dirt that lay beneath his feet. His eyes lifted to the gray sky, where the true sun seemed to hide in shame.
He entered the wat and searched out the memorial area that contained his brother’s name and ashes. Only then did he really catch sight of the flowers next to the memorial for the first time, and realized what they meant. The flowers meant that he was not the only one grieving for the loss of his friend and brother. His brother. Yet, the strangest thing was that he could not recollect anyone who would have taken the care to lay such beautiful flowers there. They were so clean that they must have just been laid out that very morning. His watch told him it was seven am. Who would have woken up before the sun to grieve for Tawan other than Athit himself?
------
Athit’s eyes opened, the misty sky peeking through the slit between the curtains hanging over the window. It was still early, but he couldn’t sleep any longer.
‘Take a break. Have some time to soak in the news,’ was what Wattana had suggested. Athit wasn’t sure how much more he could soak up; loneliness seemed to be endlessly generous, and grief all too willing company. And the duo was never complete without regret. Athit wished more than ever that he had spent as much time with Tawan as possible. But there had never been anything to suggest they wouldn’t have so much more time together.
Without knowing it, he was already on the road back to the wat. How mercilessly ironic. The person was gone and only now was lost time being made up.
Six am. Athit stood with hands shoved in his pocket, eyes on the red flowers, fresh as if each night the moon fed them with rejuvenating dew. Five days in a row he had come here and stared at these flowers that never wilted nor thrown out. Obviously they were being replaced every day.
Ambling back down the path on the wat grounds, Athit relived old memories. Their childhood, their education, the childish rivalry that only served to strengthen an everlasting bond. People said two suns couldn’t exist in one sky, but he and Tawan had proved them wrong. They never quarreled; they trusted each other with their lives. They’d kept in contact all the five years that Athit had gone abroad to work and never once was there a dip in their friendship. Except that five months earlier, he’d learned that Tawan had been keeping something from him. Upon hearing the news of what his brother had done, and who he had decided to work for, Athit had been adamant that Tawan back out. But Tawan insisted it was too late—Athit knew he was right too, and though his instincts told him to return home, Tawan swayed him into focusing on his work, promising his elder brother that nothing would go wrong, that their boss was taking care of him well.
And now, Tawan was gone.
.
Athit’s jaw stretched in a ferocious yawn. His curiosity was getting the better of him. He wanted to know who this person was who was visiting Tawan’s memorial every day, so he’d forced his butt out of bed at four am and was at the wat dark and early, the sky just barely tinted with pink.
His tired eyes blinked several times when a silhouette came into focus. Someone was outside the building. It had to be the one. Yes, there were the flowers. Athit drew closer and then his footsteps slowed. The person was a woman. And more clearly still, she was pregnant. Athit thought he would find answers, but he was now more confused than ever.
The next morning he was back and watched as the woman offered her flowers to Tawan, and sat on a mat on the ground. Why was she staying so long? He could see her lips moving. Athit breathed a light laugh not of derision but of amusement. The woman was talking to Tawan and having quite an animated discussion too, by the way her hands flew about with gestures and her smiles. Athit wondered if she was crazy. No, he had seen true insanity before.
Deciding not to disturb her, he stepped outside, took a deep breath from the morning air, and returned to the car, stretching his arms. There were other matters for him to think over also, he thought, as his hands clenched into fists.
.
For the next few days Athit continued to watch the woman from afar. He grew familiar with her face and her smile. She had large eyes and from his lookout spot, he wondered whether she was full blooded Thai. He could never catch any of her words clearly and without knowing why, he didn’t dare reveal himself. For some reason, he felt it would break some kind of spell, and the fact was, she looked so happy when she was sitting beside Tawan’s memorial, as if Tawan was right there next to her, that Athit felt like he could see his brother too.
Wattana asked over the phone, “Have any of the others contacted you?”
“No.” Athit hadn’t found it necessary to meet with any of his people in Thailand—at least not for now. But when he called for them, they would have a lot to answer for. He just wanted time alone at the moment. He yawned loudly.
“What’s up with you?”
“Tired. I’m going to bed now. Call if anything comes up.”
“What, already? It can’t be that late over there.”
Athit smiled. He still wasn’t used to his new sleep schedule, but was determined to keep up with the nameless woman.
------
“Damn.” He hurried into the memorial building, a yawn threatening to steal his breath. Panting from his rush, Athit arrived in time to see her push herself up from the ground. He still wondered how she could endure sitting on the hard ground for so long, but she never seemed to mind. Brushing her hands, then gathering yesterday’s flowers, she momentarily rested one hand on her slightly protruding belly and closed her eyes as if fighting off a dizzy spell. Athit put one foot out of the shadows, but the moment passed, and she strolled away in the opposite direction with a steady gait.
Standing in silence for a few minutes to stare at Tawan’s resting place, Athit finally decided to go back to the hotel. Nearing the wat’s entrance, he paused, with a strange ill-foreboding tingle sliding down his spine. What did it mean? He didn’t have a grasp on answers, but already, his feet turned around and retraced their way back where they’d come from. The memorial had a few other people, but the woman was gone. He tried one of the other exit routes. She was not yet in sight, but his feet didn’t stop nor did they turn around.
And now, they were running in reaction to the image that met his eyes –the woman had come into view. He witnessed the agonizing consequences of her feet halting, the forward motion of her body as it lost strength and the red flowers spilling across her body, trailing on the grass.
.
.
She opened her eyes to a half-darkness penetrated by soft light coming from a window. Bracing herself on her elbows, she blinked back the remainder of her grogginess and realized she was in a hospital room. That fact established, she instinctively pressed her hand to her abdomen, and relaxed when she felt the soft roundness.
“You’re awake.” Athit had been dozing lightly on the couch and only just noticed her movement. She returned his gaze with curiosity so that he felt compelled to reassure her. “Sorry I haven’t introduced myself. My name is Athit. I…” he noticed her eyes grew slightly rounder at the mention of his name, as if he had only just magically appeared, “I saw you at the wat when, you know, you fell, so I brought you here. How are you feeling?”
“Fine. Thank you.” She offered a gentle smile and he felt relieved that she wasn’t panicked or scared around him.
Having only watched her from afar before, he finally took note of her sharp yet delicate features—she was very pretty.
“I’m sorry to have bothered you. I should be going on my way now.”
“No!” He objected, seeing her about to push her blanket away. “You should wait until the doctor allows it. He said, er…” Athit winced sheepishly, “sorry, we didn’t know who to call, and I happened to be there so he told me about your health situation.”
“My situation of being pregnant?” she asked in a deadpan voice.
He glanced up and saw laughter in her eyes, and mentally laughed at himself for the roundabout words he chose. Biting back his own smile, Athit said, “It would be better if you rested well before leaving.”
She released a soft breath. “I’m grateful, but I can’t afford to stay here.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that. I’ll help you.”
“I couldn’t expect you to do such a thing, though I’m thankful for the offer.”
He watched in dismay as she slowly slid off the bed. “I’ve heard your voice before.”
His words made her pause. “Excuse me?” she asked.
Athit pursed his lips sternly. He was certain now, where he’d heard her voice. “Before you leave, let me ask you something. Why do you visit Tawan?”
She froze. They stared at one another as silence blanketed the atmosphere. “You saw me?”
He nodded. “Actually, I’ve watched you there for almost a week.” He stopped. “That…sounded a lot creepier than I meant it to.” As a smile stretched her face once more, he breathed a quiet laugh. “I’m sorry for not coming forward sooner,” he ruffled his hair.
“So it was you.”
“Hm?”
She lifted her eyes to him. “I kept having a feeling this past week like someone was present with me, and the aura was similar to Tawan’s, so I thought maybe his spirit was visiting me.” She seemed unembarrassed by her wishful thinking and chuckled at herself. “But no wonder your presence felt similar.”
“So…you mean you know who I am?”
She hesitated, then nodded.
“So it really was you, who called to tell me that he…died.”
Curious by this since she hadn’t given her name when they spoke over the phone, she asked, “How did you know?”
“I recognize your voice.”
Her eyes appraised him upon hearing this. “It’s just like what he told me about you. You memorize sounds well.”
This did not particularly please Athit. “Forgive me, but will you tell me your name? And how you met Tawan? Please,” he made his way over and led her to sit back on the bed comfortably. “I don’t know how close you were to him, but he would never give my phone number to just anyone.”
She pleasantly complied, “My name is…Sasithorn, and…” she smiled down at her slightly swollen abdomen. “Can you guess how close I was to Tawan?”
Of course, he had suspected they’d been in a relationship of some sort, but Athit hadn’t allowed himself to take that suspicion seriously. As if reading his thoughts, even though his face had given nothing away, Sasithorn said with amusement, “You must be wondering how it happened.” Her eyes glowed at some vivid endearing memories. “All it took was a moment of chance for us to meet and from there, he and I both knew we would be together.”
But why would Tawan have never mentioned her to Athit? As soon as the question formed, so did the answer. Athit observed the fragile woman beside him, thin yet sturdy, small yet full of energy. Tawan must have wanted to keep her safe.
“You said he told you about me…What sorts of things did he say?”
“Oh, nothing much about your job or…” she fished around idly for a word, “lifestyle. Just the important things, like your personality and passions.”
He couldn’t tell if she was serious or not. Anyone else would disagree that his “lifestyle” wasn’t important.
“There’s more I want to know.”
“I’m sure you have ways of finding more information than I could tell you.”
That was true, but those things could wait. He cleared his throat. “If you truly are Tawan’s woman, then as his brother, I wish to assist you as much as possible.”
“You must have more important things to take care of.”
“No. Nothing is as important as family…which is what you have become.” He firmly kept his eyes on her, serious and not wanting to hear any opposition. “Let me give you as much assistance as you need.”
“I guess…I could use a hand,” she smiled and it made him feel like she was doing him a favor. “I don’t really have anyone else.”
For some reason, he had assumed she was alone ever since seeing her. Yet he didn’t get the sense that she was a lonely person. “It’ll be easiest if we simply stay together in one place. Are you okay with that? I’ll make arrangements so you’ll be comfortable. Is there anything you need to move? Otherwise, I can provide whatever you need.”
Her face grew stern for the first time. “No. If we’re going to be living together, we must live at my apartment.”
His brow puckered. “Your apartment?” as if he could not fathom her suggestion.
Sasithorn’s face lit up again, nodding like a child who was excited about her new playmate. Athit wasn’t sure how, but her warm smile had a calming effect on him, and he was slowly understanding why Tawan had chosen to be with her.
------
comments worshipped !
jjinxx
Update soon na. ^.*
