Rejections

untinnu

sarNie Adult
ok..easy question..how do you reject someone?

here's ones that I've already used.

1. I'm happily married. Then the guy start saying stuff like, nowadays everyone is getting a divorce, and that my husband won't be/isn't as faithful as he is. -_- (I usually use this one at work, and most of the time, the guys that hit on me says things that tries to break up me and 'my husband'.)

2. I have a boyfriend. answer that I get: Is he around here ?, if not, let's hang out and let me get to know you more. <--- maybe he just wants to be friends..

3. I'm sorry, I go for girls. this one is..I don't know what to say..when I say that they usually say, "Oh, that's fine. I can find you a girl and we can all get together and do things."

4. Sorry, I'm not interested. "How would you know if you never tried?" how do I answer to that..?

5. Sorry, I'm really busy. I have to go. *runs off* I sometimes get ones that follows me to the car..and some just stand there shouting for me..how embarrassing..

6. Sometimes! I can't think of an excuse, and somewhat panicked. And I end up giving them my phone number so they can just leave already. <-- horrible..I know..but I really panic...(My sisters always made fun of me because of that..)


anyways..what are some of the things that you guys say to reject someone? Can anybody help? I thought of saying, "Sorry, but you're ugly." but that's just mean...I'm REALLY desperate!!!!

I was going to end the post here, but thought I'd share a moment with everyone. This was when a guy was hitting on me, at least..I think he was..

Me: *standing in line waiting to check out at Wal-Mart*
Him: *comes stand next to me*
Me: *turns to look at him*
Him: *smiles*
Me: *returns the smile and turn away*
Him: I like your purse.

at that moment, I thought he was gay. And he started saying more stuff about how he likes my clothes..how I dress..how I look..and my body shape -_- (when he gets up to there, it scares me)..and asked for my number..hmmm..maybe he just wanna get together and go shopping together like what girl friends do..
 

dynomite

Wanna-Be เจ้าชู้
Bitch factor works great for the gals in my life who are rather attractive. Stone-cold meanness. Though it has backfired and caused the man to try even harder. But most usually get slammed (except probably in lakorns). :^P

I swear... I don't know how people can get hit on at gas stations or Wal-Marts.

But then again, people have to try right?
 

anan

sarNie Adult
My personal ones: ^_^

The scary way:

1) I am very pervert, crazy, "ting-tong" guy

The patient way:
2) I have too much debt, and plan to marry only after 10 years.

The wise way:
3) You are a good girl & still young with a bright future, plz. live & enjoy your life first.
 

Liberty

sarNie Adult
I just tell them I have a boyfriend whether I have one or not at the time. :D
If that doesn't work I'll give them that "You've got to be kidding look," and walk away. haha If the guy's still hitting on me even after I tell him I have a boyfriend then he's the type of guy that doesn't deserve my respect.

If it gets to the point of him following me to my car or around the store, or starts harassing me then I threaten to do him bodily harm, usually something to do with his nether regions. It's never gotten to that point though. Usually guys back off the moment I tell them I have a bf and throw in "He's a lucky guy."

I think one time, a guy was so insistent and I was younger so instead of saying I had a boyfriend I was honest. I ended giving him a number to one of my male friends and had them deal with it. hahaha



OMG speaking of getting hit on at Wal-Mart, that happened to my mom a few weeks ago. :lol:
 

kulyia

RUK
omg... you guys are soo Creative. lol.. ty for the tips i should say. lol

 

ChenrukNote

Goddess
It's really not that hard to get hit on at Wal-Mart when lots of hormone raging teens shop there and it doesn't help too if you're short because they mistake you to be around their age!!!
 

untinnu

sarNie Adult
LOL..you guys are funny...

walmart is not that bad..but the gas stations are the worst!! My sisters have been driving for years, and they have NEVER been to a gas station alone because they're scared that they might get hit on..I always tease them about that..

the worst place that I got hit on was at the courthouse..OMG! a man came up to me and ask if I wanted a Sugar Daddy..I was shocked,..he looks like a mafia leader too..I just said something to him in my language and walked off..

the rejection hotline doesn't really work..I've used it a few times, and somehow I ended up seeing the guys again, and they would come up to me and say, "Do you remmeber me? I asked for your number 3 months ago, and you gave me the rejection hotline number. Does that mean I'm rejected?" -_- durh...

I think one time, a guy was so insistent and I was younger so instead of saying I had a boyfriend I was honest. I ended giving him a number to one of my male friends and had them deal with it. hahaha
^ I should do that!! ..but instead of guy friends I should give them my dad's number..heheheehehhe
 

dynomite

Wanna-Be เจ้าชู้
Well... you ladies should just be brave and decisive.

The beauty of being a woman is you get to choose who pursues you. I think you should keep an open mind.

The thing that pisses me off is when women give their number out even though they don't want too. What's the point of giving it if you don't want to give me a chance?

This is probably the best way to deal with normal men (may not work with abno&reg;mal men). :^P

First... state that you don't give your number out.
Second... state where you stand. (e.g. have boyfriend, no boyfriend, lesbian, not your type, etc) If you don't have a reason, then you shouldn't be closed minded. Makes sense right? Men are rational beings. If you don't like the guy, give a reason. Otherwise, give the guy a chance.

Lastly, let the man give you his number. While women may never call the man... this deters the conversation any further. If he is a man you are interested in... then give him your number. :^)

I think this works out well for both sides.

Giving a bad number, lying, etc. isn't really kosher (at least for us semi-decent men like Darvil and I :^P). So try this out and let us know how it works for you.

Yes, there are men who won't give up and won't give you the number. (Remember some men are taught to be persistent). You just need to show they have no chance. A male friend can help resolve the matter instantly. :^)
 

untinnu

sarNie Adult
Lastly, let the man give you his number. While women may never call the man... this deters the conversation any further. If he is a man you are interested in... then give him your number. :^)
^ my friend does that!!! and it works!! she's currently dating the guy too!!!

Male friends doesn't help much, they usually stand and watch from afar, and only jumping in when things doesn't look too good, normally only happens at parties and when we go clubbing. But on regular days out, they can't seem to read any signs that I give them hinting that I need help.

This is nice, hearing it from a guy's point of view. Thank you.

I'll be sure to ask them for their number instead, that sounds a lot better than what I've been doing so far.
 

Liberty

sarNie Adult
Well... you ladies should just be brave and decisive.

The beauty of being a woman is you get to choose who pursues you. I think you should keep an open mind.

The thing that pisses me off is when women give their number out even though they don't want too. What's the point of giving it if you don't want to give me a chance?

This is probably the best way to deal with normal men (may not work with abno®mal men). :^P

First... state that you don't give your number out.
Second... state where you stand. (e.g. have boyfriend, no boyfriend, lesbian, not your type, etc) If you don't have a reason, then you shouldn't be closed minded. Makes sense right? Men are rational beings. If you don't like the guy, give a reason. Otherwise, give the guy a chance.

Lastly, let the man give you his number. While women may never call the man... this deters the conversation any further. If he is a man you are interested in... then give him your number. :^)

I think this works out well for both sides.

Giving a bad number, lying, etc. isn't really kosher (at least for us semi-decent men like Darvil and I :^P). So try this out and let us know how it works for you.

Yes, there are men who won't give up and won't give you the number. (Remember some men are taught to be persistent). You just need to show they have no chance. A male friend can help resolve the matter instantly. :^)
Well, yes, like you said, this works on NORMAL men but all men are not equal and luckily I've never had much experience with crazy insistent men. If a woman says no she's not interested, regardless of her reason, no means no. She doesn't know the guy so she doesn't have to explain anything to him. It's not a job interview. Saying no doesn't mean a woman is being closed minded it just means she's not interested, whatever the reason maybe.

Yeah, I get that it's probably harsh to give a bad number out but I think it's acceptable if they guy can't take no for an answer. Honestly, if they guy gets the point of being annoying and borderline stalker, I say do anything you can to get rid of him. There's no such thing as being overly cautious when you're a woman. As for the faking bf thing, how would the guy know anyway if he doesn't know the girl to begin with? So, what he doesn't know won't hurt him. ^_^
 

dynomite

Wanna-Be เจ้าชู้
Well, yes, like you said, this works on NORMAL men but all men are not equal and luckily I've never had much experience with crazy insistent men. If a woman says no she's not interested, regardless of her reason, no means no. She doesn't know the guy so she doesn't have to explain anything to him. It's not a job interview. Saying no doesn't mean a woman is being closed minded it just means she's not interested, whatever the reason maybe.
Liberty... you are right, not all men are equal. But you need stereotypes or generalizations to give the gist of things to people.

Yeah, I get that it's probably harsh to give a bad number out but I think it's acceptable if they guy can't take no for an answer. Honestly, if they guy gets the point of being annoying and borderline stalker, I say do anything you can to get rid of him. There's no such thing as being overly cautious when you're a woman. As for the faking bf thing, how would the guy know anyway if he doesn't know the girl to begin with? So, what he doesn't know won't hurt him. ^_^
I have to disagree with you. I think its not a very considerate or proper to give a bad number. It's funny, but that's it. It's very uncool. If you had a brother or a guy friend, you would probably be more considerate to the other-side. You also put the younger ladies at risk of a crazy guy. What if the guy gets upset and is a crazy stalker? What do you think he'll want to do to a girl who pulls a stunt with a fake number?

As for annoying and borderline stalker... I had this discussion with some of the girls I know. And who you label as annoying and borderline stalker is rather relative. If it is a hawt guy who pursues you, it's okay, if it's an ugly guy, it's annoying. If the guy has acne and calls your friends to inquire about you, they are a stalker, but if it's a good looking guy, you turn red and giggle over the phone with the gals about how cool and interested he is in you.

I'm sorry, but your advice to the girls is not cool. No man knows what their chances are for a woman. You see older women, with younger men. White men with Asian women. Black women with White men. Fat women with Skinny men. Who are you to tell all the girls that men are idiots adn are annoying borderline stalkers, because they couldn't get the picture.

If relationships and pursuits were easy and clear cut, there wouldn't be sites and lakorns about all the troubles in love. I'm not sure if you are an easy girl, but some girls play hard to get or don't know what they really want even when the guy is a good catch.

Liberty... now it's my time to VENT on you. buwwhwaaahahahaaa :^P
 

Liberty

sarNie Adult
Liberty... you are right, not all men are equal. But you need stereotypes or generalizations to give the gist of things to people.


I have to disagree with you. I think its not a very considerate or proper to give a bad number. It's funny, but that's it. It's very uncool. If you had a brother or a guy friend, you would probably be more considerate to the other-side. You also put the younger ladies at risk of a crazy guy. What if the guy gets upset and is a crazy stalker? What do you think he'll want to do to a girl who pulls a stunt with a fake number?

As for annoying and borderline stalker... I had this discussion with some of the girls I know. And who you label as annoying and borderline stalker is rather relative. If it is a hawt guy who pursues you, it's okay, if it's an ugly guy, it's annoying. If the guy has acne and calls your friends to inquire about you, they are a stalker, but if it's a good looking guy, you turn red and giggle over the phone with the gals about how cool and interested he is in you.

I'm sorry, but your advice to the girls is not cool. No man knows what their chances are for a woman. You see older women, with younger men. White men with Asian women. Black women with White men. Fat women with Skinny men. Who are you to tell all the girls that men are idiots adn are annoying borderline stalkers, because they couldn't get the picture.

If relationships and pursuits were easy and clear cut, there wouldn't be sites and lakorns about all the troubles in love. I'm not sure if you are an easy girl, but some girls play hard to get or don't know what they really want even when the guy is a good catch.

Liberty... now it's my time to VENT on you. buwwhwaaahahahaaa :^P

You can think what you will but like you said, the woman has the power and she can do as she pleases with it when it comes to the dating world.
As for giving a real number to a potentially crazy guy. I'm sorry, if for a second I think he can go psychotic on me why the heck would I give him my real number? So it'll make it easier for him to track me down? Yeah....no thank you. I have a cop friend that would definitely frown on your suggestion.
Women learn from experience, and like you said in this situation maybe stereotyping is best. If a woman's had bad experiences with situations like this before the smart thing is to learn from it. Tough for the guy on the other end if he ends up being a nice guy but that's not the girl's problem. She doesn't know him so she owes him nothing. I can't speak for the other ladies but if it happened to my brother or a guy friend I'd totally understand. Yes, I'd probably think it's uncool but I'd still understand and explain to my brother/guy friends why she probably did it. I know if I give out a bad number it's my last option and it's not nice or whatever, but when it comes to my safety I'm not going to risk giving some crazy guy my number just to come off "nice". :rolleyes: Even if he turns out to be a nice guy that's very persistent (probably something he needs to work on if he doesn't want to scare women away) if for a second I think he's up to no good it's my responsibility to take care of myself and do what's right for me. I don't care if I come off bitchy. I'd rather be a bitch than potentially put myself in harms way.

But I stick to what I said, No means NO. Hell, they even teach that to women in self defense classes. So I'm not the only one that thinks this. If a woman says no, just accept it and walk away. I get the "trying again for good measure" thing but if she says no a second time she most likely means NO, and any guy that keeps bugging her, good looking or not, obviously doesn't get the hint. Many crazy people (women and men) don't think that anything they do is wrong but it doesn't mean it isn't. Get the hint, if a woman says no twice she means NO so back off. If she says no once and the guy walks off but she was just trying to play hard to get than that's her lose. Oh well, it happens. (Yes, I've been in that situation too but it's not something I lose sleep over.) We win some and we lose some that's just part of life. If it were really meant to be their paths will cross again, if not than it really shouldn't be that big of a deal.

Speaking of being "proper." What makes you think that a woman giving a guy she doesn't know her number a proper thing? When my mom was hit on at Wal-Mart she was very insulted. He came up to her while she was shopping and starting conversing with her but when he asked her out for coffee and asked her number she took it the wrong way (I guess in the old country foreign men use to do that with the local women and assumed it would lead to something else, that's how my mom saw it). So yeah, how do you know how others were raised? What you think is "proper" could be culturally "improper" to other people.

FYI: I wasn't giving advice nor was I telling anyone what to think. All these ladies have minds of their own and can think of themselves. I was just making a response to the topic on what I've done in the past and that I think, that's all. Big difference there.

I also don't judge a guy by the way he looks, if I did my first boyfriend wouldn't have been an overweight guy (I can add to the list but I won't). Someone that I was with for nearly a year. Good relationship, great guy but it takes more than that to make a relationship lasts.

tell them you have an STD, they will back off for sure.
LOL :lol:
 

dfemc

sarNie Adult
hahhaha, what a great topic. except i don't have much a problem w/ rejections. i don't get hit on in general, so it makes life even easier. LOL. but if there's someone who talks to me, i give them the decency to talk to them back, and i usually get hookups on many a things. so sometimes, i turn it into a great networking opportunity. and if u don't have a phone like me, it makes life even easier. it doesn't matter how messed up the guy is, he'll never be able to get a hold of u. tell him u only do email, cuz it's the digital age babee. if u see him everyday, u might as well lay it down straight with him that "HOMIE DON'T PLAY THAT". LOL. usually if u just stare back at them blandly while they talk, it'll creep them out in time. and of coursing yawing and nodding while they talk and ask u questions, then just smile, also does it. LOL. most men get the signal. as for the stalker type, stalk their ass back and jack their shiet. that'll teach them the price of pursuit LOL.

i should write a guide on HOW TO BE A NATURAL REPELLENT to guys. cuz dayam, i'm good at it. LOL, it'll spare the stress over rejections. LMAO.
 
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