Status: Friends Only???


sarNie Egg
Hi peeps! I am new here but I always log in as a guest to read everyone's post. I really enjoy reading everyone story and I want to share mine to see what you guys think and help me solve my problem. I meet a nice guy my junior year in highschool when i moved to california 4 years ago and to this day we are the best of friends. We are inseparatable! We are always buying each other clothes, shopping together, and just everything. We share with each other who we are introduced to by people and who we are talking to, simply to let one another know what peeps we are getting to know, either through the phone or in person. That is how we roll. He talks to his friends who are girls and I talk and hang out with other guys besides him. Well, one day I found out he was talking to another girl, whom he did not share her information with me. We both share a phone line as well. So, I confronted him and he said she was only a friend. I found our phone bill hidden in his room - usually the bills came and he would hand it to me to take care of it. But why, hide the phone bill, well, it has all the logs and calls. I took it and examined it. So, example, 7 days in a week, he texts her all day 1 or 2 days out of the week and call her one day of the week. The rest of the week is silence, no text or calls. But, everyday of the week, he calls me during his first and last break and even lunch, and on the drive home. later at night he calls me and talks to me until he sleeps.
I am getting really jealous of this mysterious girl, even though he seems to spend every second with me. I never realize I had this jealousy feeling until a month or two ago when I asked him who this girl was. I can say I have feelings for him, mutual until now. We been arguing lately and this is his latest text to me: "You are a very important person in my life n someone that I depend on. Don't always be thinking negative stuff and be all saying mean stuff." and other text, "OmG. Can't we just be there for one another and stop making each other mad?" After receiving these text from him, I am trying really hard to pretend this mysterious girl does not exist my using school to block my jealousy self. He still calls me as usual, same pattern and everything. So, are we JUST FRIENDS or is there more? He says that I am an important person in his life - and I am wondering... I do not know what to think?


sarNie Juvenile
This question can be only answered by you. Friends or not, you should know it better than anyone else tbh. Maybe outsiders can see it better but your heart holds the key to the answer. From what I understand, you're purely jealous of that mysterious girl cuz you feel the threat that he may get closer to that girl and eventually breaks the friendship between you and him and he may stray away from you. You're mad cuz he didn't talk about this girl to you.

Most importantly question, you should ask yourself, "who is he to you? Only friends or more? Is he important in your life?"
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sarNie Coma
You should find out his feelings for you, if he sees you as just a friend, its no use to be jealous, its only going to ruin your friendship.


sarNie Egg
Thanks for the responses! I sat down with him after giving him the silent treatment and he explained to me reasons why he has been the way he has towards me and why I am an important person to him. The mysterious girl, yet unknown about the relationship between the two because he said she is a friend and yes he texts her often only because it’s a change of pace in his life. She’s different and is a friend of a friend in the past. So I am assuming I have become a boring person to him.
As for being an important person in his life; he told me that lately, he’s having family problems that are in the process of hopefully fixing. As I mentioned, we been arguing over the mysterious girl and his attitude he’s been giving me. So, when we argue, we create negative energy and this is what he hates when we argue. He said he couldn’t tell me about the family problem because it would change how I think about his family. He did fill me in on bits and pieces but never gave me the full story so I couldn’t piece anything together. After he told me the whole problem, I have to admit that yes, I was shocked. His family has a highly respected position in the community who gives other families speeches about being a properly family and now messes up.
Now, I am more than ever and hesitant to even ask him or start anything with him. I do like him a lot, but after knowing the family issue… I just don’t know anymore. As of the moment, as I post this response, I don’t even feel jealous of this mysterious girl and I feel ever so distant from him. I can’t tell him that I have changed because this will ruin our 4 years of friendship. We still talk, but not the same. We hang out, but not the same. I do not want to judge, I am trying really hard to be the same person I used to be, but just after knowing about the family issue… I just can’t be the friend I was because I have lost respect for the entire family. I also talked to other people, they said I was falling for him without realizing it and the friendship simply grew and grew without benefits. After thinking, the last guy I dated was 1 ½ years ago and we didn’t last long because I was always with my friend. How did I not see this! Well, I just solved my problem; but the status of “friends only” will probably remain as that because it’s too hard for me to accept and pretend. Also, his family didn’t approve of us as a couple or as friends in the first place.