Wats Your Opinion.

shyly08

sarNie Egg
okk;
well me N my bby, we've been together for about 6 months now.
N well he has a temper... yah.
lyke if i do sumething wrong he'll get mad at me.
den yell at me say lyke mean stufff to me lyke he'll cuss at me N stuff.
well my question is tat, my older sister N my mom:
dey tell me tat if we ever get married he's gona probably,
beat me up!!! well do u guies tink so?
well i love him alot N he loves me alot too; so yah.

well ii told him about tat N stuff; buh he's all lyke no.
ii really love u N ii won't do tat to u N stuff buh, idk.
i have doubts he won't do tat to me u noe.
buh den; i dn't rly noe too hahha confusing... wat u guies tink about dis???
 

KhoOnxNouxWanxJai

Staff member
Everyone has a temper every now and then, but I think your parents and sisters are just concerned about you. Honestly in my opinion he shouldn't even cuss at you or say "mean" things to you regardless of the reason. I do stupid things all the time that piss my husband off and we argue about it and he blows off steam and we come back and talk about it, but he's never put me down or cursed me out over it. Even when I do big stuff.. So I think it depends on the people. I don't feel that a girl, woman, lady should have to deal with a guy's temper. I find it wrong to put the person you so called love down and use profanity against them. Then again we are all tolerant towards different things. Also, you didn't really give a good description about what exactly you are trying to say, but anyhow.. if he hasn't hit you yet then you shouldn't worry about if he's going to hit you or not that's something unpredictable ... and if he does hit you then you should walk out right away. You should know him more than all of us and know what the right choice is. I mean a part of you has to be curious and also believe that he might hit you also that's why you're asking us ...
 
Get out of that relationship, because it seems that he doesn't have self-control when he's angry. Sure, when he isn't angry, he could promise never to physically abuse you, but when he's angry, he probably won't be able to control his temper. He is already verbally abusive; it won't take much for it to escalate to physical abuse.
 

7270

7270
N well he has a temper... yah.
lyke if i do sumething wrong he'll get mad at me.
den yell at me say lyke mean stufff to me lyke he'll cuss at me N stuff.
forget the beating. why would you even want to marry someone who cusses at you? i know people get angry and raise their voice sometime, but cussing & this other "stuff" is extremely questionable.
 

BaBeeLaiLai

BaBeeLaiLai
Yeah I wouldn't want a boyfriend that cusses at meeh and says mean things..>I mean yeah sometimes we get mad and words slip out...but if he is directly cussing at you such as calling you a b*tch and and what not...then you probably don't want someone like that. Eventually it may get worst if you stand for it...He'll know that no matter you'll stick with him. If you really love him and want to have a future with him you need to put your foot down and let him know that some of the things that he says to you aren't okay and that somehow you guys need to work it out.
 

KhoOnxNouxWanxJai

Staff member
yeah you don't want someone who puts you down emotionally when he gets angry. Someone who loves you wouldn't cuss at you and put you down regardless of how much you piss them off -.-"
 

shyly08

sarNie Egg
^_^ thanks for all da replys...
i dn't noe wat ii should do,
i mean i love him alot;
 

KhoOnxNouxWanxJai

Staff member
Honestly, this is a very difficult situation because EVERYONE deals with things differently and can tolerate different things. I for one will NOT tolerate someone who curses at me and puts me down. If it's the first few times then i'd talk to him about it and make sure he knows that I don't like it. I had an ex who would curse at me and the first few times I took it because I was weak then I talked to him about it and he said he understood and wouldn't do it anymore. Well I believed him and then when he got angry he would do it again.. so I broke it off. He was saying how he's sorry and can't control it and blah this blah that.. Well in my opinion if you really loved me you would learn how to control it and at least respect my wishe's

So I don't want to suggest that you break up with him, but you should talk to him about it and see if he's willing to take on certain challenges and help to where he can control his temper. If he could do that for you then that itself proves that he loves you. Sometimes even if you love someone you can't let them treat you like that... people who love each other don't treat one another with less respect not even equal respect people who love each other treat each other with MORE respect.


@7270: Lol I cuss I have to admit but never directly towards a person ... I'd say stuff like that "fudging sucks" LOL or towards a lakorn character sometimes I'll admit my guilt at that :lol: and even so I use substituted words such as what a beeppppppppppppppp; or I say indirectly, beeep LOL not towards anything at all hahah.
 

7270

7270
shyly08. i'm not in the relationship. it really does sound like you deserve someone much, much, much better than your current guy. everyone deserves someone great. have you dated many people before meeting him?

I'd say stuff like that "fudging sucks"
i use it like that, too. :lol:
 

transcend89

sarNie Adult
in my opinion everyone deserves to be love and receive love but it's not something to be taken lightly of or abuse it...but just b/c you love someone it doesn't give you the right to make them love you or it doesn't mean that that person has to love you back it's unconditional i like how the bible uses that god's love for humanity is unconditional...so i say it depends on yourself how much you want to have that special someone with you...have you seen the movie fireproof (2008) [it's on youtube] it's a very great movie demonstrating the love and marriage so i hope whatever you decide it's because you want it
 

shyly08

sarNie Egg
shyly08. i'm not in the relationship. it really does sound like you deserve someone much, much, much better than your current guy. everyone deserves someone great. have you dated many people before meeting him?

No, He's Only The 2nd guyy i dated.
 

shyly08

sarNie Egg
Honestly, this is a very difficult situation because EVERYONE deals with things differently and can tolerate different things. I for one will NOT tolerate someone who curses at me and puts me down. If it's the first few times then i'd talk to him about it and make sure he knows that I don't like it. I had an ex who would curse at me and the first few times I took it because I was weak then I talked to him about it and he said he understood and wouldn't do it anymore. Well I believed him and then when he got angry he would do it again.. so I broke it off. He was saying how he's sorry and can't control it and blah this blah that.. Well in my opinion if you really loved me you would learn how to control it and at least respect my wishe's

So I don't want to suggest that you break up with him, but you should talk to him about it and see if he's willing to take on certain challenges and help to where he can control his temper. If he could do that for you then that itself proves that he loves you. Sometimes even if you love someone you can't let them treat you like that... people who love each other don't treat one another with less respect not even equal respect people who love each other treat each other with MORE respect.


@7270: Lol I cuss I have to admit but never directly towards a person ... I'd say stuff like that "fudging sucks" LOL or towards a lakorn character sometimes I'll admit my guilt at that :lol: and even so I use substituted words such as what a beeppppppppppppppp; or I say indirectly, beeep LOL not towards anything at all hahah.
Thanks, for da advice. ^_^ .
i'll try it out.
 

SonYukView4ever

♥OFFICIAL MARK PRIN STALKER♥
thats pretty mean to start with.
if u guys only knew each for 6 months and hes already showing his true colors and calling u names,
he can definitely do worse to u.

i would say a violent/abusive relation ship is not healthy at all.
the more u are exposed to it, the more ure hurting urself.
it's best to talk to him.
if u guys really love and care for each other,
make sure that he stops calling u names.
if he doesn't stop and what he's doing is hurting u then u have to find a way to quit it.
 

transcend89

sarNie Adult
well after observing my brother's situation he's pretty much calls his gf all sort of bad name and he even cheated on her but she's still able to forgive him and they're still going on as if nothing after happen and she still wants to marry him so i guess it all depends on the person though i don't agree with her decision i respect it...btw i don't want u all to think badly of my brother it's just that i wanted to share what i feel about situations like this...
 

MasterMind

sarNie Hatchling
^_^ thanks for all da replys...
i dn't noe wat ii should do,
i mean i love him alot;
OK. I wasn't going to reply but I can't help myself.

You might love him a lot. But you need to love yourself first and foremost, or no one is going to love you truly. If you let someone use you and abuse you, then you don't hold yourself very highly, and who is going to hold you in high esteem when even you don't?

He needs to be a real man and treat you like the precious treasure you are. If he doesn't, then you should find someone who will. And believe me, there are a lot of good guys out there. The trick is, you don't settle for anything less.

Good luck!
 

Muddie Murda

smile...
It's pretty obvious that the relationship is going to get worst as it progresses.

Starting off is verbal abuse...then escalates to Physical...then...sometimes much more.

Love is overated. If you love him, don't worry, you'll get over it and be happy when you find someone who treats you A LOT better. You'll look back and go "...that was love??"
 
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