What are you thinking right now?

ijohn

ijohn

sarNie Adult
... i called my dad yesterday for the first time since seeing him last year... i feel like a failure these days and don't really want to go home even when my dad ask me when am i coming home... i always tell him maybe next month... i have so much on my mind these days and seem to be building a shell around myself and not extending trust but to a few in my life atm... you know the worst feeling you can have is when you can read someones mind in a sense and know you have growing apart you can't reveal it "what you know" so you wait and just let it happen... it's like a six sense in a way you can just feel it when someone gets over you and gives up on you... i have it happen allot these days and let it get to me too much... somedays i feel i must have really been a rotten SOB in another life so i get to see things before they happen and can't do anything to stop it... anyway i'm just not liking who i am at this moment but i'm sure it will pass these feeling of loss when i know someone is leaving me behind and making empty promises they won't keep... at least i will be able to cut down on my drinking while they move forward without me as a friend---lol

...like i said before dad maybe next month,,, maybe next month... :(
 
ijohn

ijohn

sarNie Adult
listening to an old play list a friend help me build a few years back---it's like i can touch her face in the beautiful light that passivates me back to then and i find my heart in a steel trap for any words she could speak--- if someone speaks a foreign accent and she talks to you thru music it's like walking in clouds with the rain beneath your feet... if i have one last memory everyday i sleep until i can't wake,,,is that i remember her because i once told her i would never forget her"i promise"

sometimes when i touch another's heart it's for the moment to remember what it felt like to touch her words...

love is more a foundation of trust rather then the weather most people pretend it is!!!

have you ever lay in the clouds and listen to the rain beneath you fall??? that how love feels when someone gives you music thats part of them!!!
 
nina07

nina07

sarNie Adult
OMFGG. JOE JONAS iS SOO HAWWTT ! iM BURNiNG UP FOR HiM !! :drool: :wub:

demi lovato and joe jonas are the best couple everr !! ^_^ :kiss:
 
I

*Ice*

sarNie Adult
im thinkin why the hell am i thinkin about her so much like wtf i dt even think she will be that way ahhhh get out of ma head!!!!
 
solin

solin

sarNie Adult
at that moment I think that I shoul feed my cat but I'm so angry at him for waking me up this morning too early
...and how I will pay the japanese restaurant tonight since I have no money !
 
I

*Ice*

sarNie Adult
im thinkin when the hell is this illness gunna go i been feelin sick non stop from the age of 9!!! and im now 17!!! someone shoot me
 
ijohn

ijohn

sarNie Adult
...this movie is so much me *sighs* "Definitely, Maybe" except i'm still waiting at the feet of failure...

p.s. i'm so in love with know one,,, :(

p.s.s. i loved the plot line in this movie because i'm so in love with the idea April exist,,, but we just have not met again!!!
 
I

*Ice*

sarNie Adult
well im thinkin of her and also this god damn illness wtf is it fuckin god take it out of me ive been so sick for too long i wanna die man!!!8 years of non stop feelin sick and throwin up!!!

ps im missin u haha now ur gone on ur lil holiday see ya in 2 weeks and 3 days hehe
 
ijohn

ijohn

sarNie Adult
...i cleaned up my MSN contacts by deleting some people who have nothing better to do then judge me even though i don't know them and for sure they don't know whats in my heart,,, good riddance!!!

god ppl don't you hate ppl like that that say sh!t behind your back??? :angry:

may they die a lonely death---lol
 
ijohn

ijohn

sarNie Adult
conquering the world still won't create the cage that will own your heart so i lay down my arms and wait for you in the sunlight that bathes us both in new daylight that we may begin again like we never met to capture the laughter we shared before!!! *sigh* throw me in deep water heavens above so i may rest before daylight to find what i miss when my heart dreamed of her!!! *sighs again* :mellow:

...oh bother...let me sleep... -_-
 
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