i need opinion

[kulyia]

Would you forgive a guy you loved once who got with your close old friend but broke up because she wanted to? And would you forgive her? But before they even got together, you thought that this is half your problem because both knew you liked him, so you decide to tell the guy to make the move before anyone else does. Though youve said that, you dont really mean to let him go, you know? Would you forgive them? Or not cause you told them to do it already? And would you still be friends with the two of them? Even though they are not together anymore?

 

[MasterMind]

I'm sorry. What??? You were dating someone and you two broke up and he went out with your friend? Or you liked someone but he went out with your friend?

 

[yaksoh]

wat???...
i'm not gettin ur ?'s

 

[Thookatha]

yeh, sweetie, i'm not understanding what you're trying to say either. but i totally want to help you out!

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

I understand lol, but honestly I think that you are stretching yourself way to thin and you are making a huge mistake by expecting a GUY to understand how you feel -.-" sorry.

1. When you tell a guy to go for it before someone else does. He'll hear it as that. Guy's won't read the signs and won't think about "oh am I going to be hurting her because she likes me." NO! they will do exactly as you told them!

It's like telling a guy Oh you don't have to buy me anything (yet you expect something) lol and then they don't get it for you because you told them not too.

At the same time you can't expect your friend and the guy to NOT try to get together because if they liked each other and they knew you liked him they will feel badly about it, but at the same time you did tell him to GO For it so they probably assumed that you've gotten over it and your ok with it.

So I think it's kind of unfair to the both of them that you are considering breaking off the friendship with them over something that you told the guy that it was ok to do.

Let's put it this way.

If the situation was flipped. You knew your close friend liked a guy and you liked the guy too. The guy came after you because your friend said it was ok and that he should before someone else does. Wouldn't you think your friend had gotten over it already? Regardless of the reason sometimes you can't expect someone to know and understand how you feel if you've told them to do the opposite of what your feeling.

I know how you feel, but at the same time you should consider how they feel also because remember in this picture no one did anything wrong. You are all innocent people with feelings, but if you feel that you are still hurt and feel uncomfortable from them then you should distance yourself for awhile to get over it because sometimes breaking away is the only way that we can move past something.

 

[Thookatha]

ohhhh, i think i understand what you are asking now. ok, so your close friend and love interest got together even though they both knew you liked him. and even though they've broken up now due to her, you're still bothered by the fact that it all still happened. is that correct?

in that case, i think you should forgive the situation. you don't necessarily have to feel good about what happened, but they are, like tina (KhoOnxNouxWanxJai) said, only two people with feelings too. after all, you did tell him to make the move. he made a decision. he chose the other direction. that doesn't necessarily mean that she's better. it just means that he had his reasons.

plus, you shouldn't pine over someone who decided to go the other direction before he looked your way (not that he is necessarily trying to get with you now). but if that is the case, don't turn into sloppy seconds. i don't know, that just my take on it. i mean, i don't really know the guy. maybe he's a good person that initially decided to go the "wrong" way but now decided to go the "right" way. though there is no right or wrong way in this matter. this is just me speaking on his behalf as if he was a good guy. haha

either way, you know the details more than we do. do what you gotta do to make yourself feel better again...even if it means walking away from them. just remember that you told him to make the move first. just as much as him, your friend may see that as a green light opportunity.

 

[kulyia]

ohhhh, i think i understand what you are asking now. ok, so your close friend and love interest got together even though they both knew you liked him. and even though they've broken up now due to her, you're still bothered by the fact that it all still happened. is that correct?

in that case, i think you should forgive the situation. you don't necessarily have to feel good about what happened, but they are, like tina (KhoOnxNouxWanxJai) said, only two people with feelings too. after all, you did tell him to make the move. he made a decision. he chose the other direction. that doesn't necessarily mean that she's better. it just means that he had his reasons.

plus, you shouldn't pine over someone who decided to go the other direction before he looked your way (not that he is necessarily trying to get with you now). but if that is the case, don't turn into sloppy seconds. i don't know, that just my take on it. i mean, i don't really know the guy. maybe he's a good person that initially decided to go the "wrong" way but now decided to go the "right" way. though there is no right or wrong way in this matter. this is just me speaking on his behalf as if he was a good guy. haha

either way, you know the details more than we do. do what you gotta do to make yourself feel better again...even if it means walking away from them. just remember that you told him to make the move first. just as much as him, your friend may see that as a green light opportunity.

YES. i am still bothered by the fact that this all happened. And to answer the question above,we all are close friends before all this happened. And still is. Now, we are real distanced. We go to different schools now. Im kina fully over him, but if i was to be in her position i wouldnt get with a friends crush. Espicially when shes been telling me for months of how she feel towards him. And the dreams and all those sort of gurl talks about guys. But, okay. Thank you for your opinion.=D

 

[Thookatha]

no problem, sweetie. but despite everything i say, i'm still the kind of person that would not be able to stay in their lives. i'd walk away. i don't like the feeling of awkwardness and betrayal (whether it be betrayal or not).