What do you think of your husband or wife now?

Blackheart

Blackheart

sarNie Egg
Are you happy with them?

Do you regret marrying them?

Do you know it will be forever with them?

Recently I've asked my older sister what she thinks of her husband now after he
cheated on her and she reply that she loves him after all they've been through.

I've seen either the husband or wife eying other people which makes me sick to my
stomach or husband talking to other girls on the phone at work. Gross!

As of right now I am dating but I hate it when he cares more about himself and doesn't
pay attention to me so it makes me never wanting to marry him Ha!

Any of you want to share your feelings?
 
lilalee

lilalee

sarNie Egg
I wish I could of known my husband for a while before I married him.
He has a temper problem and probably needs anger management.
He also cheated on me too so I really don't know if he loves me. I don't
really know if he's hiding more things from me.
He really doesn't care about anyone but himself which makes us
totally different from each other and to him I'm very mean. Why can't he
accept me for who I am
like the way I've accepted him.
Oh well.
 
T

tearsofautumn

sarNie Hatchling
You know...too bad that in real life your story doesnt go like one of your favortie movie or drama...where all can be forgiven, problems can be solve within mins and you live and love your partner like there's no tomorrow. If reality life was much like a drama or movie...we would stay in love forever, ever :D

Im not married yet so i wouldnt know what to think, but when i do...im sure there will be lots to think about ;)
 
N

nkaujhmooblauj

sarNie Adult
MYOB said:
You know...too bad that in real life your story doesnt go like one of your favortie movie or drama...where all can be forgiven, problems can be solve within mins and you live and love your partner like there's no tomorrow. If reality life was much like a drama or movie...we would stay in love forever, ever :D

Im not married yet so i wouldnt know what to think, but when i do...im sure there will be lots to think about ;)
Click to expand...

lol. that's why its called a movie. ehehe
but yeah.. marriage is a big commitment
i'm getting to know how my bf and his family are...
i don't find anything wrong with going over to my bf's house (for occasions)
but then again..
you only see them while you're there..
after you leave.. it may be a whole different story.. lol.
 
lovelylina

lovelylina

sarNie Egg
nkaujhmooblauj said:
lol. that's why its called a movie. ehehe
but yeah.. marriage is a big commitment
i'm getting to know how my bf and his family are...
i don't find anything wrong with going over to my bf's house (for occasions)
but then again..
you only see them while you're there..
after you leave.. it may be a whole different story.. lol.
Click to expand...

LOL... yeap... my mom is like that... judging people from the outside frist...

Me says to ya all, "Get to know the other person as much as you can... And make sure you really love them to death..." LOL
 
S

skies

sarNie Adult
Looking at other married couples and whenever the husband or wife cheats, it just makes me really upset...Where is the respect? I especially dislike some Hmong husbands who just don't know how to respect their wives and think they can do whatever they want...They talk sh!t about all those divorcees and whatnot, and yet they still try to talk to them...WTF. It really makes me angry to the point where I don't know if I will ever want to get married. OF course, not all Hmong men are like that but many of them are...and it's not only Hmong men too, it's any guy. IF the couple have kids, I especially do not tolerate them arguing about who cheated on who in front of their kids because that one argument will change their perspective and most likely to have a negative effect on their development.

I do agree that marriage is a very important and big commitment. Before a couple should even think about marriage, they should be thinking about what it is about their partner that they like, don't like, what can be improved, etc. I hate to say it but many Hmong couples, including our parents, married too young and too early that now it's pathetic to look at the relationship because it just gets worse everyday.

And, I'll leave it here. Of course, these opinions of mine do not apply to all Hmong men or men in general.
 
H

hias0701

sarNie Egg
10 years and going stronger than ever.. My husband and I have been together for 10 years now and we are loving it.. We were together for about 5 years before we had our first born son. So we had plenty of time to get to know each other, but don't get me wrong you will never really know everything about that person, it's always a learning process. I'd have to say over time we grew to love and accept each other for who we are. We both talk about this subject often; we both agree we love each other more now than we ever have. No regrets here. Will it be forever? I'd have to say I don't know... No one does.. we can't see into the future we only know what's now.. We can only work on what's now so don't worry too much about the future, take it a day at a time; nothing in life is a guarantee.

Don't get me wrong it's not a walk in the park to get here. It took lots of commitment, communication, patience, trust and a whole lot of hard work. If anyone tells you it's not hard work they are lying.. All relationships will require hard work; which is an on going process doesn't ever stop. If you are committed to it and do the work required, it will be worth it. There are days which I can't stand the site of him. There are days which I miss him so much I want to be with him all day long. Most days I think about him at least twice a day. The best part, I still get that tingling feeling at the bottom of my stomach when I see him. My point is there will be bad days but all the good days make up for them.

No, it'll never be like the movies, lakorns etc... Happiness is where you can totally depend on each other and work out your differences when they arise. Being able to support each other in times of need; being able to speak to each other about anything and everything even hard subjects (regrets, cheating, or feelings for others).
 
C

ceda_lee

sarNie OldFart
I'm not married, but I hope to get married someday. Hopefully by then, I would know my bf better. 3 years together and we still fight like idiots. LOL!
 
lady_sati

lady_sati

sarNie Adult
^^^ LOL! i know how you feel.
but in the hmong culture, isnt that called like... 'old single girl'
the hmong term... slipped my mind.
:p

i think in marriage, i will love my husband more than he loves me.
that's what i think and that's how i feel.
and that kinda scares me when it comes to marriage.
i know that when i love someone, i will always love them.
but at the same time im scared to know that after marriage he doesnt love me as much.
i just want an equal.
and i guess im scared of not finding an equal so i stay away.

this is a good topic.

*thinks*
 
YM_gurl

YM_gurl

sarNie Oldmaid
SuMay said:
I wish I could of known my husband for a while before I married him.
He has a temper problem and probably needs anger management.
He also cheated on me too so I really don't know if he loves me. I don't
really know if he's hiding more things from me.
He really doesn't care about anyone but himself which makes us
totally different from each other and to him I'm very mean. Why can't he
accept me for who I am
like the way I've accepted him.
Oh well.
Click to expand...
omg, reading what u wrote.. i dont want to get marry.. lols

gosh, sounds like ure regretting huh? its okay. nothing women do will make them happy.

MYOB said:
You know...too bad that in real life your story doesnt go like one of your favortie movie or drama...where all can be forgiven, problems can be solve within mins and you live and love your partner like there's no tomorrow. If reality life was much like a drama or movie...we would stay in love forever, ever :D

Im not married yet so i wouldnt know what to think, but when i do...im sure there will be lots to think about ;)
Click to expand...
hehee.. i wish "life" was like a movie.. lols.. but its not.. life in reality is complicated.

hias0701 said:
10 years and going stronger than ever.. My husband and I have been together for 10 years now and we are loving it.. We were together for about 5 years before we had our first born son. So we had plenty of time to get to know each other, but don't get me wrong you will never really know everything about that person, it's always a learning process. I'd have to say over time we grew to love and accept each other for who we are. We both talk about this subject often; we both agree we love each other more now than we ever have. No regrets here. Will it be forever? I'd have to say I don't know... No one does.. we can't see into the future we only know what's now.. We can only work on what's now so don't worry too much about the future, take it a day at a time; nothing in life is a guarantee.

Don't get me wrong it's not a walk in the park to get here. It took lots of commitment, communication, patience, trust and a whole lot of hard work. If anyone tells you it's not hard work they are lying.. All relationships will require hard work; which is an on going process doesn't ever stop. If you are committed to it and do the work required, it will be worth it. There are days which I can't stand the site of him. There are days which I miss him so much I want to be with him all day long. Most days I think about him at least twice a day. The best part, I still get that tingling feeling at the bottom of my stomach when I see him. My point is there will be bad days but all the good days make up for them.

No, it'll never be like the movies, lakorns etc... Happiness is where you can totally depend on each other and work out your differences when they arise. Being able to support each other in times of need; being able to speak to each other about anything and everything even hard subjects (regrets, cheating, or feelings for others).
Click to expand...
wow.. hehee.. i change my mind now. i might want to get marry now. lols.. but ill get to know whoever imma marry really good. hehe..

i like what you wrote there. i can see, ure still in love and it should be like that. :D well, im not married so i wouldnt know but im willing to communicate, be patience and everything when i settle down..but just hope whoever my partner is, he will be willing to do the same for me.

on the other hand, a person can be faithful and love their partner all they want. if their partner have a change of heart, no can do.
its a good bye there. :(
 
mysuper_girlfriend

mysuper_girlfriend

sarNie Juvenile
SuMay said:
I wish I could of known my husband for a while before I married him.
He has a temper problem and probably needs anger management.
He also cheated on me too so I really don't know if he loves me. I don't
really know if he's hiding more things from me.
He really doesn't care about anyone but himself which makes us
totally different from each other and to him I'm very mean. Why can't he
accept me for who I am
like the way I've accepted him.
Oh well.
Click to expand...

uh................. huh.......... yeah..............
 
Rakniran

Rakniran

Guest
i was in a five yrs relationship and was even engaged.
He got a temper problem and probably needs anger management after 3 yrs together it show.But i was
still with him for two more yrs total of five.Then suddenally feeling changed.
I was stronge to take the first step of walking out on him first.Cus i knew
that he would never want to do anything ,but to talk it through and work it out.To me
it wouldnt work out.So i just walked away even though he told me many times that night that if i walked out and go
to my parents.He will never forgive me and take me back.But i kept on walking..
Its better to walk now then get married and divorce.I dont believe in divorce.
If,we end up being married.I wll probably have to stay with him forever eventhough is not wat i want.
I'm so glad that i took the brave step of walking out.
Even though other might says stuff like im so old why not married yet.Don't bother me.
Only i can make myself happy.
My two sis is married.I see no good in it.The oldest her husband treat her bad with no respect.Keep on saying he can get any girls and better then her and many things,which i didnt like.So,i dont see any thing good about being married at all.Its hard to find the perfect husband.

Glad I find out first before i married him.
 
Rakniran

Rakniran

Guest
OMG,I didnt realize that i was in the HMONG section.
I hope is ok for me to post cus im not Hmong.
oh boy
lol
so sorry
 
YM_gurl

YM_gurl

sarNie Oldmaid
Rakniran said:
OMG,I didnt realize that i was in the HMONG section.
I hope is ok for me to post cus im not Hmong.
oh boy
lol
so sorry
Click to expand...
heheee.. its ok..ur welcome to make comments in here.. :D

but yeah good for you. you did the right thing. if things didnt work out, why stay and marry him. it will be worst when u 2 are married. :p
 
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