AFN (Asianfuse network)

Not all mother are the same but I feel all mothers always have to make hard decisions ... perhaps, she has her road block and couldn't figure out the problem immediately to help you out. In my eyes, mothers are like professional hustlers. They work one too many jobs and play one too many roles, in our lives. They may be slow (comes with old age) but they're never dumb.

Sometimes, they are under appreciated/unnoticed for what they do. You should appreciate and give your mother credits for raising you well to think on your feet (or to think outside the box). Please be kind toward your mother. Remember that we have our moments like this too when we're young. Yet, she never thinks that we're dumb. We will forever be her smartest children, despite our flaws.

No, it's not that I don't appreciate my mother. It's just that my mother doesn't appreciate my sisters and I as much compared to my brothers. She puts them on a pedestal and never want them to lift a finger. She always complain about my sisters and I about everything, accuse us of being lazy and never contributing to anything in the house such as cleaning and etc. when really, we do everything.

Her and my father always like to pick fights with us but talk so nicely to my brothers. I could never understand why they say so much crap to us when we've done our best as daughters to them by trying our best to be patient and listen to them, go to school, do what they want, and etc. I love them but I can't take it anymore with the way they treat us, as if we're little kids when we're all grown ups already.

They feel the need to control us now that we're adults when it has been too late for them to be like that as parents. My parents calls us dumb, likes to argue and pick fights, choose to please others than help their own kids, thinks my siblings and I are bad kids when we aren't 'cause we've been sheltered all our lives, and etc. It's more complicated than it seems.

I try so hard to make them happy but it's never enough. I went to college to make them happy yet they couldn't even appreciate my accomplishment, let alone my hard work.I try so hard to make them happy but it's never enough.

I try my best to be a good daughter but they always like to make a big deal out of everything I do, even if I did nothing wrong. I've always been known as the "BAD DAUGHTER" to my parents 'cause I'm not the "prettiest" or the most humble, but I do try my best to be a good daughter. Just know that not all mothers are loving. I just so happen to have one. I had to learn everything on my own and from my siblings.

They aren't loving like many other parents, which is why I tend to crave parental love from professors and older people (other people's parents) I've built a relationship with. It's hard. I've grown so bitter towards them, I do try my best not to but it's just too much to deal with. I really want out, to be honest. Sorry, I just have so much to rant about. I just can't deal with all these parent issues.

Girrrrrrlll I totally get you! I'm going through similar struggles atm. Just work hard to get out of the house! I think you'll both have a much more positive relationship that way.

Parent can be that way a lot of time, especially in the Hmong community. I do not know what's going on in your family and only speak from my experience and assumption from reading what you wrote but hang in there. I think your time has not come yet, knowing that you're still young. I'm sure once you find yourself and is able to stand tall on your own they'll come to appreciate you more.

Like Mayag said, the struggle is a lot harder when you're home with them as well. I remember going through a similar phase in my early 20s; always refer to as a child by my dad. It's only after I move out and on my own, independent and faraway from home, did he appreciate my values/thoughts/suggestions as a grown woman.