advice?

[buklaoboi360]

hi my sister has been through rough times ever since she has had her baby in march well here's how the story goes her bf locked her out the house on her first mother's day with a couch blocking the door and she came back to my parent's house crying her legs were bruised up for trying to get in the apartment this guy has been treating her wrong ever since they gone out like when they first moved in the apartment both of them pay half for the apartment and on mother's day my sister found out that there was another girl in there and she started crying and came back to live with us and we had too help move all her stuff out the apartment i tell you guys this her bf is no good because he just use her like toilet paper to pay for rent because he don't have enough money anyways not even a week and she go back to him because he says he is sorry and fells bad and plus he has trash the whole family over fb and stuff my parent's were mad i know we can't make decissions for my sister because she is old but we just worried about the baby because she is two months this is not the only time this guy has done this too my sister he did this too her many times before she was pregnate with him but my sister is always defanding him over family i would post the whole thing about what he said too my sister on fb but i dunt know yet i need advice

this is a convo btween my cuzzin and her bf that guys name is danny straccii and my cuzzin who wrote this too him is tiffany tell me what you guys think i know my sister is blind and confused right now but all off our family know 's what kinda of guy he is tell me what you guys think

Chris Souriya Bone May 20 at 10:59am
Gena Bone May 16 at 12:04am
Tiffany Phengchanh:
wassupp? how are you and sephoraa?
7 hours ago · Comment · LikeUnlike · See Wall-to-Wall

Danny Stracci:
don know haven seen her in forev. Baby mama moved out an we split so I'm jus chillin by myself now. How u been?
about an hour ago

Tiffany Phengchanh:
awhaaaaa??!?!?! WTF? well. dang. i WAS in a good mood but that just went bye bye. why'd ya'll split???
about an hour ago ·

Danny Stracci:
In a simple fas way I jus wasn't happy wit tha baby mama. I haven't for a year an she jus kept tryin even tho I didn't she kept tryin for all the wrong reasons an didn't consider my feelings. I personally feel iz cuz she had sephora but it was not a good reason. All I gotta say is I feel as if the weight is all hella lighter on my shoulders n I can live my life the way I wanna. She didn tell ya?
about an hour ago

Tiffany Phengchanh:
um. no, she didnt.
about an hour ago ·

Danny Stracci:
Yea well I didn wanna be unhappy anymore n wuz jus fed up wit it. An I wanted to leave on good terms but how she acted when she was movin out n shyt jus straight up pizz me off an sick n tired of imature peeps -_-
58 minutes ago

Tiffany Phengchanh:
hey, watch it. that my cousin you're talking about, gena is verry mature. and ya know what? it takes TWO to make a baby, and shes the one taking care of her. man, like, i know gena and im sure she did consider your feelings, but im sure she was mostly thinking about sephoras. she doesnt want her to grow up without a dad. she still wants you to be there for her, like, she's still your daughter, dude. gosh.
38 minutes ago ·

Danny Stracci:
I understand dat an I neva said I wasn gonna be there. I neva brought sephora in this for that reason. This has nothing to deal wit her this has to deal wit the mom. An to stay wit someone just for a child is wrong especially if that party is unhappy. I bet she neva told ya I never planned on having a kid so soon an that I wanted to wait but she ... See Morewas so much in a rush to feel as if bringing life into this world would make me stay. thas wrong, it goes deeper than that n me n her jus not compatible. N I jus didn wanna settle wit her. U can say she is mature all u wan, U didn live wit her N ur not a dude. Women act diff when u liv wit em n towards dudes. N plus I neva thought me n her looked cute together.
32 minutes ago

Tiffany Phengchanh:
holy crap danny, what the hell is your problemo, bro? sure, you didnt wanna have a baby so soon but hey, news flash, YOU DID. i restate my previous statement, it takes two to make a baby. you cant put all the blame on her. it was a team effort. im sure she didnt MAKE you take off your pants! and if she's not mature, then what does that make you? you told me when we were IM-ing a few weeks back that like, all she does is cry and eat and stuff, shes a baby, thats what babies do. and when are you going to be there, huh? when she's what, 5, 10? when she doesnt just eat, cry, and sleep? she's not like... homework or something. you cant just put her off until you want to deal with her! MAN UP.

Tonia J Phengchanh May 16 at 7:37am
Wow....Well Tiffany can put it straight up....she put his ass right into the fire!!! Gotta love a kid who can and doesn't mind speaking her mind!!

Gena Bone May 16 at 10:05am
well after that auntie tonia he deleted the post without an heartbeat lol
Reply:

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

One Word, Leave.

Honestly, N' Chris ... she should know better then any of us. Sure she has a child with the guy, but what is the use of putting yourself through continuous emotional abuse? Her child isn't going to learn anything from it except that it's ok to treat a woman that way. You wouldn't want your niece to grow up thinking that it's ok to live in a household like that. Also, I'm sure your sister can make it on her own or at least with family for awhile until she can get back on her foot. Hell I say leave the idiot and file for child support! That will teach him. Honestly, if I was dating a guy like that dude... I would have beat the crap out of him myself lol. Reading the text between him and your cousin good god the guy sounds like a child trying to make sense. He's so mature, but he would rather lock your sister out then talk to her. he would rather cheat then tell her that he wants to see other people? You just don't treat someone bad because the feelings aren't there anymore. You talk about it and let them know and help them make the choice that will benefit the both of you not just yourself.

She should leave. I honestly don't see a reason why she would stay.

 

[Kina]

It's easy to tell her to leave. Trust me, because I have been in your sister's shoes before. I dated a guy who was very abusive in all ways possible. I was abused and cheated on. That's more than enough for anyone to leave the person. But I was stupid. I was blind. I couldn't leave him. And we didn't have a child or anything together. There was nothing that tied us together. I stayed with him regardless of how he treated me because I felt comfortable with it, after awhile. I felt that he was the only one in the world who is my protector, my supporter, my lover, my everything. And if I had left, who would be there for me???

And girls, and guys also who has sisters, the idea I had was dangerous. I was so dependent on him to where abuse became something of a norm to me, I was numb to it. Eventually, I snapped out of it when family got in between. It took for ME to see that I was in danger.

Only your sister can come to her own sense. Yes, you and the family should continue to help her, put some sense into her, never leave her - even if she keeps going back. Your continuous help is the only guidance in her process of the possibility of breaking away from him and to come into reality again.

Because I've been in her shoes, I know how it feels, and I hope she chooses the right path.

This is the only advice I can give, from my own similar experience. Never leave her side.

 

[pleang sney]

I think you shouldn't do anything. It's your sister problem, not yours. I know how it could be hard to see her falling down like that and keep being so dumb.. but you can't do anything, and no matter what you will say, she won't listen you.Just leave her alone... the only thing you can do is being here for her when she will need it.. with the time, she will see by herself what was her mistake... if you try now to do something, even if it's something you think right to do, you will be the one that she hate and she won't forgive you easily...girls in love are definetely deaf...that's why, be here to support her, be here fo your niece.. that 's all you can do for now.. don't let a man like him standing between her and you.. the time will teach her a precious thing... actually, i think that your sister just want to save her relationship with him. and then, she's a mum which mean that she wants to see her daughter having a dad and a life like others...especially, right now, if you say or do something wrong, she could fall in a big depression... just let her doing her own choice... if she can stand to be treat like that , then it's her problem...Your sister is no more a child and she has a kid, her choice will make her life and this is her mistake that will build her future... I know how it's hard to stand here and thinking that you can't do nothing... but this is how the life go on... and if you or your parents try to do something, it's not that guy that she will drop but she will turn her back to you and think that's you were the one who make him leave her.... Believe me, time will solve all the problem and she will open her eyes soon... just leave her alone..

 

[KEdoubleNY]

SHORT ANSWER......On her part, she was stupid to go back. He aint gonna change his abusive attitude toward her. Your parents should tell her straight up. Once you walk out that door, don't ever turn back if you ain't gonna listen.

Believe me, most of the times the older head know what they talking about. Even if you don't wanna listen but later you'll regret not listening to them.

There's a LAO saying 'Nee Sai Khon plien yak'. Everything changes but a person personalities are hard to change.

 

[buklaoboi360]

thank you so much everyone for the advice yeah we dont know what to do we just let her be for now but after reading all your comments made me fell much better thank you

 

[sajenna]

just let her do what she wants to do. if it's the wrong path, you will shed teard (like her), you'll suffer (like her) but at least she was the one who made it. i know it's hard and heartbreaking because you love your sister but if you prevent her from go back with him, at the end she will regret cause it always has "if.."