Ex as your roommate?

[lilo]

Ok, I am in a situation where I have a my ex as my roommate plus two other people.  We had this house meeting in regarding my ex and me.  I was told that either I choose to be roommate and friend or just strictly roommate.  I told my other roommates that I am willing to be a friend/roommate with my ex. But then he is still a jerk to me.  What is my next step from here?  I can't moving out yet due to the fact that I can't do it one my own. I am doing my best to be civil with him but this person is driving me crazy. He stated that he isn't trying to pursue me, but the things that he does me makes think that he isn't over with "us."  

 

[x0unerthanlater]

This is a very messy situation. My friend was in a similiar dilemma. She was living with her bf, they broke up, then became roommates... I don't know what happened but then they became gf/bf's again. It's so complicated. Being roommates with someone you were once intimate with is going to difficult to stay away from them and them from you. You should just pretend like you have a new bf already or something. Or just ignore him in a civilized manner. Hi and Byes, and straight out of his way would be the best solution. You don't have to be "friendly" around him. But you can be civil, and nice.

 

[lilo]

This is a very messy situation. My friend was in a similiar dilemma. She was living with her bf, they broke up, then became roommates... I don't know what happened but then they became gf/bf's again. It's so complicated. Being roommates with someone you were once intimate with is going to difficult to stay away from them and them from you. You should just pretend like you have a new bf already or something. Or just ignore him in a civilized manner. Hi and Byes, and straight out of his way would be the best solution. You don't have to be "friendly" around him. But you can be civil, and nice.

I try to be civil but this person isn't allow me to do anything.  Cause everything that I do is that I still have grudge on him.  But in reality I don't have any grudge with him.  When I just want to mind my own business he come and try to pick a fight making stupid remarks.  And everyone in the house think that I am the cause of it.  

 

[sulad]

In a situation like this, it is best to ignore. Completely ignore anything that is coming from that person. It is understandable that it is not easy to ignore nor easy as said, but to be civil and to continually to be able to live under one roof is to ignore. By ignoring that individual it will prove to your other roommates that you are not the cause of any situation but that person is the responsibility of it. In the same way, it will prove to him that what he do or say no longer matters to you because you are stronger than what he and your roommates thinks. Of course, you can't continue going on being a zombie living under the same roof but if you can hold your temper, comments, tongue and remarks whenever what is said to you then that person will stop picking up random stuff upon you, because as it continues he will see that what he do or say does not hurt, matter, or affect you in anyway. I don't know if it will work, because all individual are different but I wish you good luck and hope it will make a difference. Even though not completely, but at least a teeny weeny bit

 

[lilo]

Thank, but yes I have been ignoring that person. 

 

[x0unerthanlater]

You might want to call another house meeting and tell everyone how you feel. It sounds like you want to be able to live altogether peacefully but don't want to get involved with your ex in any kind of way. You should tell all the roommates that. Just say something like, "I know everyone wants us to be friends but it's uncomfortable for me. I just want to be civil. I won't make it awkward but I do hope that we stay out of each other's way." - If you tell everyone like this, they can't accuse you of being the reason for your ex's annoying behavior. Don't let your ex make you feel cornered in your own home. Because it's your place as much as everyone elses. Your wish to remain distant from your ex should be understandable.

 

[sarN]

This is bad. If there a person I have sour feeling for . There no way I want to cross path with him , left alone live with him because old memory will stir up and make me unhappy , home is a place where we want to go after a long day , a place to relax and be comfortable but if you come to dread the place then that's not a home. If you can't solve the problem and must endure it, always lock the door and put music on 24 hrs lolll make sure there some kind of noise, lakorn , movie etc. Second , stock your room w/ water and food.

 

[So_obsessed]

I don't even recommend being roommates with friends, because it can really test your friendship. It's easier to be roommates with strangers because there's no expectations and you don't know them well enough to expect anything from them. You'll eventually become friends. I have one ex and I have no contact with him whatsoever, I don't know how you could do it. 
 
Right now, I live with my boyfriend, but we share the apartment with his old roommate and his girlfriend. My boyfriend is friends with the guy, but I can't stand him. I think he's so inconsiderate and irresponsible and can be a jerk sometimes. It sucks to have to live with him, but I mostly keep to myself. I'm polite if I need to be, but I don't like socializing with him. My boyfriend knows how I feel too, but since we both don't make much money to live on our own yet, I just have to deal with it. I just wait for the day where we can live on our own. I either am too busy with work and school to be bothered by the guy, or I'm in my room catching up on lakorns and Kpop stuff. The best thing is to just keep to yourself. You can ignore someone enough to where they'll just stop trying to be noticed.
 
Or, find someone to replace him. Tell your roommates you can't live with him anymore, and if he's at all a decent guy, he'll leave. He is the guy after all, he can't be thick skinned and live with someone that doesn't want him there.

 

[lilo]

I don't even recommend being roommates with friends, because it can really test your friendship. It's easier to be roommates with strangers because there's no expectations and you don't know them well enough to expect anything from them. You'll eventually become friends. I have one ex and I have no contact with him whatsoever, I don't know how you could do it. 
 
Right now, I live with my boyfriend, but we share the apartment with his old roommate and his girlfriend. My boyfriend is friends with the guy, but I can't stand him. I think he's so inconsiderate and irresponsible and can be a jerk sometimes. It sucks to have to live with him, but I mostly keep to myself. I'm polite if I need to be, but I don't like socializing with him. My boyfriend knows how I feel too, but since we both don't make much money to live on our own yet, I just have to deal with it. I just wait for the day where we can live on our own. I either am too busy with work and school to be bothered by the guy, or I'm in my room catching up on lakorns and Kpop stuff. The best thing is to just keep to yourself. You can ignore someone enough to where they'll just stop trying to be noticed.
 
Or, find someone to replace him. Tell your roommates you can't live with him anymore, and if he's at all a decent guy, he'll leave. He is the guy after all, he can't be thick skinned and live with someone that doesn't want him there.

I didn't want to roommate with my friend either but it's either keep being without a job at the city I was living in or more out and make something better for myself.  And that is when my friend contact me about a job opportunities so I can up to where she lived, and apply for the job and got the interview and the job the same day.  Then I got involve with one of the roommate and things got ugly and we part but that person doesn't get the fact that I am through with him.  Its like the more I ignore him the more my roommate think that I am the cause of the issue.  

 

[So_obsessed]

I didn't want to roommate with my friend either but it's either keep being without a job at the city I was living in or more out and make something better for myself.  And that is when my friend contact me about a job opportunities so I can up to where she lived, and apply for the job and got the interview and the job the same day.  Then I got involve with one of the roommate and things got ugly and we part but that person doesn't get the fact that I am through with him.  Its like the more I ignore him the more my roommate think that I am the cause of the issue.  

 
That sucks that you have to go through that, but you should be clear with all of your roommates. Let them know where you're at and that you are trying to peacefully coexist with your ex. You don't want him telling them his side of the story, which most likely wouldn't be the truth. 

 

[lilo]

That sucks that you have to go through that, but you should be clear with all of your roommates. Let them know where you're at and that you are trying to peacefully coexist with your ex. You don't want him telling them his side of the story, which most likely wouldn't be the truth. 

yes, I will do that again. Thank you so much for replying.