I need to get him out of my system!

[xodxo]

I have a huge thing here! I am really curious to know your opinion about what I have to say. There is this one guy I went to college with. it seems we used to like each other, but some things come up. His friends seem to really despise me because at one point in college I told everyone I didn't like the guy, who was crushing on me. But now years later, I realized I was also crushing on the guy. I wrote to him a month ago on FB if he wanted to have lunch, but he said, "one day" and instantly I felt like he wasn't interested. But even so he did not respond in a better way. It's hard to explain our emotions, but I think that he's trying to run away from me. He's avoiding me because he's just angry with me. I think that I can slowly stop growing feelings for him, but I need a good closure. I want to write him and talk to him. But he just won't talk/respond back. What should I do? knowing that even if I wrote him, he won't write back.
 
finally, I just want to write him and tell him I dont even have the same feeling for him as I used to anymore, but that I still want to be his friend and chat/live like normal people.

 

[cecilia]

I would message him back and tell him the whole truth just to see how things will take it from there if you really want to bring a closure to these 'feelings' that you have for him. At least, you know you did try and won't have to regret later on in life when you bump into him or something. 

 

[byebye]

Write to him and expect nothing back because at this point you are doing it for yourself. Explain to him as much as possible and if that doesn't help then you are going to have to find a way to let go knowing you did all you could and still your good with him isn't going to ever be enough if he haven't let go of whatever it is he's feeling.

Honestly, don't try being friends with someone that doesn't want to be your friend. You have reached out to him already without being successful, just say your piece and make peace with the situation. If he moved on and wants to be friends he'll come around...but it seemed it's going to be on his terms not yours.

 

[xodxo]

thanks ladies for your great tips. byebye, I really like ur tips.
eventually, as I become stronger emotionally, I wont linger feelings for him anymore.
a lot of my friends are telling me not to waste time on him, that he isn't worth it after all.
I used to see him as the "ideal" guy but you know with him playing so hard to get, ignoring my messages makes me realize he IS NOT worth it!!!

 

[Ms.Zoe]

I could not stand guys with big egos. I used to have this list of what I specifically look for in a guy & there was this one guy who has like 85-90% of what I look for based on my list. However, as I was talking to him face to face, his big ego was so unattractive :whatever:, I did not realize how big it was :yuck:  .

 

[sarN]

is it just me or I"m seeing italic front ??

 

[Ms.Zoe]

off topic lol...yes I see italic fonts too even our username & everthing below it are in italic, weird.
 
Now it is back to normal, again weird.

 

[byebye]

Mine hasn't gone back to normal yet

 

[sarN]

Back to normal??? I still see italic??? O' Buddha , let's pray its not the black& blue or white& gold dress scenario.

 

[040156]

It's my first time to be in this side of the forums (ha! I never knew this part existed. haha sorry.) but I want to say that I've seen italics everywhere too, including private messaging windows. 
 
ANYWAY. xodxo, you know, sometimes guys respond in a certain way that they don't really mean anything, but us girls view it as "something". Like I remember this one time my friend and I took 5 hours interpreting a 15 minute conversation she had with this guy, only for us to come to a conclusion that we were just overthinking. 
 
I think since you were college friends, and presumably you've graduated already and moved on with your lives, etc, maybe, just maybe, he's not really as emotionally hurt, or he doesn't really care as much as what happened back then than you think he is. Have you tried being casual with him? Like talking to him out of the blue as if you're just old friends who would just randomly meet for nothing special. It's better if you see each other face to face so you can judge his reaction, but maybe everything's cool you know? The guys I went to college with are mostly ... how should I say it... not sentimental? If they say they don't want to go out, it's not because they have an issue with the person that stems from college, but it's mostly either 1) they're really busy 2)they've never been close, ever...(awkward...) 3) they just have better things to do - but that doesn't mean he hates her. 
 
Maybe you guys would have some reunion or group outing soon. It's better to meet each other again in a group rather than going out with just the two of you. If you're desperate, maybe you can "arrange" for a "random meeting" with him - you know, be in a place where you are sure he'd be and be like "Oh! Fancy seeing you here. what's up? Wanna grab coffee?" I know it sounds desperate, but it's not as hard as you think it is. (unless you're in different states/provinces/whatever) Remember, if there is a will there is a way! 

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