Love in the ice

85sNm_wDd84

sarNie Egg
here's a new fanfic. hope you guys like it.

Love in the ice

Major characters:
Donut manasanan punlerdwongsakul
Dan worrawech danuwong

Minors:
Sornram tappituk num
Nutt nattapong dechapanya
Beam kawee tanjararak
Film rattapoom toekongsap
Benz punyaporn pongpipat
Gig suwatchanee chaiyamugsik

Prologue​
'Everyone is searching for a place that can heal their sadness & loneliness.’ I am, too. I am donut manasanan punlerdwongsakul, the face of panache & the best model Bangkok has ever seen. That was 2 years ago. Today, I am Mrs. Donut manasanan danuwong, the wife of Dan worrawech danuwong, the owner of panache & the biggest status symbol of the fashion world in Bangkok. To them, we were the ideal couple, a match made in heaven. To them it was a fairytale, a model who fell in love with her boss. A dream wedding & an even dreamier life, if only they saw beneath the gloss. Just like everybody, I am in search of a place that can rid me of my sadness. When someone’s dream shatters, the echo of it shoots straight to the heart. The ache in my chest hurt to the point it became numb. It is almost as if my heart froze over & felt no pain anymore. It is true when they say fate plays games but they never said that 'Fates games pain the heart'. A fragile heart can only take so much until it gives up. Mine, on the other hand, turned to ice.

Chapter 1​
“Designer kunchai kumnerdploy num’s most anticipated fashion show till date is finally here but what the talk of the town is the launch of the new face of panache through this fashion show. Benz punyaporn pongpipat was a struggling model until she impressed Dan worrawech danuwong in her last ramp walk. That is right, CEO of panache, Mr. Dan worrawech danuwong gave ms pongpipat her break & now, she is the showstopper for kunchai kumerdploy num’s show tonight. Let us see if she can take, the fashion world by storm like the one Mrs. Donut manasanan danuwong once did before she got married. This is pat ungsumalin sirapatsakmetha, fashion news.” Donut watched the news reporter end her little broadcast as she sat next to her husband, waiting for the show to begin. The reporter’s words rang in her ears, 'Let’s see if she can take the fashion world by storm like Mrs. Donut manasanan danuwong once did before she got married'. Donut sighed as she remembered her modeling days, she missed it dearly. The chaos backstage, the process of getting ready, trying on different outfits but what she missed most was the ramp. The rush of stepping on it as the cameras flashed away, capturing her every move. The sway of her hips as she reached the end of the ramp & posed. The thrill of being the showstopper. She missed everything. If only...if only she’s been more careful 2 years ago, then maybe she would still be a top model today. Donut turned to look at her husband, who was busy chatting with his dear friend & panache’s manager, beam kawee tanjararak. Her husband, Dan worrawech danuwong, the most handsome man she has ever met. His piercing brown eyes, smooth skin, dark brown hair that fell over his eyes, with those deep dimple adding a boyish charm to his cold looks. Is it any wonder he enchanted her when she 1st met him? & now, he was her husband. Donut sighed again & closed her haunted eyes, “Will you at least pretend to be happy to be here?” Dan harshly whispered, in donut’s ear as he heard her sigh a second time. When donut opened her eyes to look at him, he grabbed her hand & held on to it as the show began. To everybody else, the gesture looked sweet, a husband caressing his wife’s hand but only donut felt the death grip of his strong hands, & the chills it sent down her spine. She tried to ignore the pain & concentrate on the show as Benz punyaporn pongpipat walked in wearing the show stopping a-line with hug-the-shoulder neckline. Taffeta; white gown, kicking off the show. Donut looked on with unhappiness. Donut came out of the shower to an empty bedroom. She was not surprised. Dan rarely talked to her or tells her where he is. They came back from the fashion show about an hour ago when donut decided to take a shower. Dan was in the room when she went into the bathroom; however, he was not there now. Donut tried not to be disappointed, ‘Stupid girl!’ She scolded herself. Dan never tells her anything, then why should it be any different now, ‘Stupid girl for hoping that he might change, that he might actually start caring, actually start loving you back.’ That’s correct she loved him. Despite, his hatred towards her, she still loved him. She loved him, then & she still loved him now. Donut’s thoughts were interrupted when she heard the sound of crying through the baby monitor. She quickly rushed to the nursery as warmth filled her heart as she took her 1-year-old baby boy into her embrace, “Shhh, its ok sweetie, mommy’s here.” Donut whispered, as she gently patted Danny’s back. His wails became into soft whimpers until he finally fell asleep again in his mom’s arms. He was the picture of Dan, but he had his mom’s soft brown eyes. Once donut put Danny back into his crib, she went back to her & Dan’s bedroom & got ready for bed. She sat in front of the mirror combing her hair. She'd jet black hair that fell in soft curls around her mid-back, almond shaped brown eyes, porcelain skin, & a killer body even after giving birth. Is it any wonder she was the most successful model of panache? However, that was before she became pregnant. Clause 27 of the panache contract, a model cannot get pregnant when she is a panache model. She broke that rule & she broke it with none other then, the boss, Dan worrawech danuwong. She finished brushing her hair & got into her side of the white bed, book in hand, to get some reading done while she waited for Dan. Even though, it irritates him that she waits for him, she cannot help it. However, as soon as her head hit the white pillow sleep over took her, she did not realize how tired she was.
 

thai_freak_101

sarNie Hatchling
hmmm. so sorry for donut. sighs. but i wonder how nutt will be played in here. ^^ when he debuted with donut in taddao bussaya something like that, i fell in love with him. XD but now hes out of rs and not really active anymore. i did love his songs too. sighs. but i see him on facebook. lol! but i dont have facebook anymore. but yes, thank you for adding him in. wahhh!!! if only there was one with him and donut. XD i'd be the happiest. but i'll look forward to this fic. :)
 

85sNm_wDd84

sarNie Egg
Chapter 2​
Dan quietly slipped off the ivory bed to not disturb a sleeping Benz. She'd a busy day today with her launch as the new face of panache. He dressed himself in the dark & quietly, slipped out from his current mistresses’ apartment. He dreaded going home, but he'd an early day tomorrow at work but DAMN, he dreaded going home because SHE was home! Oh, how he hated her. She took away his freedom. She tricked him. He should've been more careful 2 years ago. He should've known that the drink was drugged. He was foolish to celebrate the success of yet, another fashion show with her! They partied with the rest of the team after the show, then how did he end up alone with her that night? It was all a big blur to him, all he knew was that they slept together that night & 9 months later, Danny was born. A smile formed on his lips with the thought of his son. No matter, how much he despised the mother; he couldn’t help but love his son. Being the responsible man that he was, & to avoid a scandal, he married donut when he found out she was pregnant & he has hated her since. Dan worrawech danuwong never wanted to get married. He hated the whole idea of it. The nasty divorce his parents went through when he was younger was still fresh in his mind. He was a successful man who ruled the fashion world with his company. Panache is known to have launched the best models to date & have the best designers working for it. He loved his freedom, lifestyle, & many lovers, all of that gone with one mistake. He still remembers when he signed donut as the new face of panache. She truly was the best. The confidence she portrayed on the ramp out shone all the other models & her catwalk always upped the temperature of the room by 10 degrees. Everything was going great until that one night, that night ruined everything. Oh, how he hated her. He stepped into the room, expecting donut to be waiting, but he found her sound asleep. Of course, she would be, it was 3am at night. Surprisingly, he felt irritation rise in him that she didn’t wait for him, but quickly brushed that feeling off as irritation for having to spend another night with her took over. As he changed into his ivory pj pants & took off his ivory shirt, he caught a glimpse of donut’s face in the moonlight. She has become even more beautiful then, she was before. She could still be a model today if she wanted, & she would take the fashion world by storm once again. Dan caught himself admiring her beauty & mentally, slapped himself. He then, got into his side of the bed, as far away from donut as possible, & drifted off to sleep, “Beam, make sure we get that meeting set up with the delegates from new York. I don’t care, how you do it but I want it done within this week.” Dan spoke, into his cell phone as he got ready for work. He walked into his closet to get his shoes, while he listened to beam & tied his ivory tie at the same time, “By the way, how're things going with gig suwatchanee chaiyamugsik? Has she been giving any trouble at the photo shoots or shows?” Dan asked, about 1 of panache’s models who recently has been misbehaving & having ridiculous demands while working. Donut’s ears irked up at the mention of gig suwatchanee chaiyamugsik. She was donut’s biggest rival when she was still modeling. Gig always wanted to be the face of panache, but lost to donut when she entered the fashion world. Donut pretended to comb her hair as she watched Dan roam around the room getting ready. Dan fixed his white cufflinks as he listened to beam on the other line, “Ok, give her a final warning. If she misbehaves again, then terminate her contract.” Dan said, before hanging up. He made his way to the bedroom door before donut called out to him, “Wait." Donut said. Dan turned around irritated, “Don’t you ever call out to me when I’m leaving for work, understood?” Dan asked, in an icy cold tone while he glared at her, “I...I’m sorry but...bu...” Donut stammered, “What?! I don’t have all day!” Dan spat at her. He crossed his arms in impatience as he waited for donut to say something. Dan’s eyes then, slightly widened in surprise when donut walked up to him instead. She kept her eyes downcast as she made her way to Dan, & silently, lifted her hands up to his crooked tie to fixed it, “Your tie, it was crooked." Donut softly whispered, keeping her gaze lowered in fear of making any eye contact with Dan. Dan didn’t move a muscle. He wanted to say something nasty to her, something rude, something insulting like he usually did but for some reason, he remained silent, he only watched her. When she moved back Dan quickly turned around & left for work. Donut watched Dan’s retreating back & mentally, hit herself for what she just did, ‘Stupid, why did you've to do that?! Why couldn’t you just tell him that his tie was crooked? Why did you've to go & fix it yourself?' She silently scolded herself, & went into the bathroom to get ready but no matter, how many times she scolded herself, she knew the reason behind her action. She needed to be close to him even if it was just for a second, she needed it. Beam watched his boss & oldest friend scold an employee. Poor guy was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. Beam noticed that Dan came to work with a bad mood & the 1st line of fire was directed to this employee who approached Dan at the wrong time. Beam waited until the man left with his head bowed before he spoke, “What crawled up your ass?!" Dan shot a death glare at beam. Unaffected, beam patiently waited. The 2 handsome men stared at each other for a few seconds until Dan sighed & rubbed a hand over his face, “Nothing.” Dan lied, “I’ve just been a little stressed lately.” In truth, Dan has been in a bad mood ever since the tie incident that morning. The whole ride to work, he cursed himself for his moment of weakness & he cursed donut for coming close to him. In fact, he cursed donut in general & the day he met her.
*Flashback*
Dan nursed his whiskey as he chatted with a few business associates at, yet another party. He took a sip of his drink, liking the burn it sent down his throat, as he scanned the people in the room. Designers, some who worked for him, models, reporters, fashion magazine editors, he saw a lot of familiar faces until his eyes landed on a lonely soul. She was standing at the corner looking a little out of place. Normally, Dan wouldn’t care. He would continue on with his conversation with his associates, normally. He made his way to the beautiful girl. Her brown, innocent eyes widened when she noticed him approaching her, “Hi, I’m Dan worrawech danuwong.” Dan said, extending his hand, “Of...of course, who doesn’t know you.” The girl stammered, placing her hand in Dan’s extended one for a handshake. Much to her surprise though, he didn’t shake her hand, he brought it to his lips & placed a light kiss on the back, “What’s your name?” Dan asked, as he let go of her hand, “Donut. Donut manasanan punlerdwongsakul.” Donut softly answered, still a little dazed from the kiss, “Pleasure to meet you donut. So, you don’t know anyone here?” Dan questioned, “Actually, I came with a friend. I’m trying to gain contacts since I’m new to the modeling business.” Donut answered, “Oh, so you want to become a model?” Dan asked, interested “No.” She answered, “I want to become a super model.” She added, her eyes twinkling with confidence. Dan smiled, impressed with her confidence. He'll definitely keep an eye out for her on the ramp.
*Flashback ends*
“Dan. Dan, are you even listening to me?” Beam asked, bringing Dan back from his thoughts, “Huh?” Dan asked, realizing that he didn’t hear a word beam said to him, “I asked, if you started planning the party for donut’s birthday? You know, everyone is talking about it.” Beam said. Dan sighed, completely forgetting about it. Since donut was his wife the fashion industry expected a lavish party in honor for her birthday. “Yeah, donut has it all covered.” Dan lied again. He hated lying to his closest friend, but he didn’t want anyone to know about the current situation in his married life. The phone in Dan’s cabin rang, ending their little break as they got back to work.
 

mainhiathao

sarNie Granny
wow, dan is dead mean. feel bad for donut *sigh* wish she could've fix his tie for him that c ould've been very sweet. :yes:
 

85sNm_wDd84

sarNie Egg
Chapter 3​
Dan drove his car towards home from Benz’s apartment, his mind occupied with what beam said. Throwing a lavish party for donut‘s birthday means acting like the ideal couple in front of everybody again. He sighed. He hated acting like the ideal husband in front of everyone, affectionately touching donut, showing how much he's in love with her. The incident from this morning came rushing back to him. Donut’s downcast eyes, her gentle hands as she fixed his tie, those same hands caressing his bare chest as he passionately kissed her. He clenched his jaw, suddenly remembering that fateful night 2 years ago. Even though, that night was a blur, he still remembered the feel of her under him, her arms surrounding him, her scent intoxicating him. Anger rose in him like lava, threatening to spill. He made a rough turn, tires screeching, as he saw his house come into view.
*Flashback*
Donut swayed her hips as she walked down the ramp. When she reached the end, she posed, hips shot & a hand resting on it, her face oozing confidence, her stance bursting with attitude. She saw the cameras flash around her, & caught Dan’s eye, who was sitting on the front row. He grinned, flashing his dimple & she knew the show was a success. She walked back down the ramp, turning & posing one last time, before disappearing backstage, “CHEERS!” Everyone yelled, & clinked their glasses. The panache team was celebrating the success of yet, another show at a local club. kunchai kumnerdploy num’s current line was a major hit among foreigners, & the photographer from vogue Paris was showing interest in the show stopper, also known as donut manasanan punlerdwongsakul, the current face of panache. Donut sipped her martini as she chatted with film, a fellow model & good friend, “I’m so happy for you donut, the photographer from vogue Paris is showing interest in you, that’s such a good opportunity for you.” Film stated, as he sipped his vodka. Before donut could answer back, someone snorted before an annoying voice spoke up! “Don’t think that just because he showed interest you’re going to actually be on the cover of vogue. You neither have the talent nor the looks to pull it off.” Donut & film turn to the owner of the voice, who was none other then gig suwatchanee chaiyamugsik, donut’s rival. Donut calmly sipped her drink, ignoring gig’s comment, but film wasn’t nice, “& I suppose you've the talent & looks to be on the cover of vogue? News flash babe, you’re neither the face of panache nor the show stopper of the night. Donut is. She'll always be the better model.” Film smirked, as he wiped gig’s bitchy look off her face with his words! Gig huffed out an angry breath before walking away from them, “You shouldn’t have been so mean film.” Donut said watching gig’s retreating back. She never wanted to be bitter rivals with her, but gig always tried to outdo her, “Oh please donut, that girl needs to be put in her place. Anyways, let’s stop talking about her. I want to dance & you’re going to dance with me.” Film said, dragging a giggling donut onto the dance floor. At the bar, Dan watched donut leave the dance floor after a few songs & head his way. He smiled at her as she plopped down on the seat next to him & picked up the martini she abandoned earlier. After a sip she looked at Dan & smiled back, “Thank you so much for everything. I’m here because you gave me the chance to prove myself.” Donut said, in a grateful tone. Dan waved her off, “There’s no need for that. You always were a super model; I just introduced you into my world. Besides, your panache’s best at the moment, I should be thanking you for your hard work.” Donut smiled at him, her heart fluttering a little when he smiled back again. She has had the biggest crush on him since their 1st meeting. He was perfect in every way. He was handsome, successful, fun, kind, & not to mention ridiculously sexy, who wouldn’t want to be with him? Donut took another sip of her martini before she started feeling a little dizzy, “Whoa, I think, I'd a bit too much to drink tonight. I should stop before I get completely wasted.” Donut said, setting her half full drink aside, “Here, let me finish your drink so it won’t go to waste.” Dan downed the drink in one go & then went back to nursing his whiskey. After a few more minutes of chit chat, Dan started to feel dizzy, “Mr Danuwong, are you ok?” Donut asked, slightly concerned. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, before he fell forward. Panicked, donut quickly grabbed Dan before he hit the floor & place his arm around her shoulder, supporting him. Donut looked around the club, trying to find beam so he could take Dan home, but he was nowhere in sight. She then, decided to take matters into her own hands & left the club to take Dan home. She stumbled into Dan’s bedroom, trying to support him as much as possible. She places him on the orange bed & was about to leave when he grabbed her hand & pulled her on top of him, “Mr Danuwong, what're you...?” Donut began to say, but was silenced when he placed a finger on her lips. He then, rolled on top of her & gently, caressed her face, “You’re so beautiful.” He slurred. Donut was captivated by his touch. It sent Goosebumps down her arms & butterflies in her stomach. She was a little tipsy herself, so she didn’t think about pushing him away. They looked into each other’s eyes before Dan lowered himself & captured donut’s lips.
*Flashback ends*
Donut opened her eyes, coming back to the present as she felt Danny fuss in her arms. He started whimpering a little, so she shifted him to her other breast & continued to breast feed him. Dan slammed the front door as he stepped into his mansion, anger still evident in his movements. He made his way upstairs to his & donut’s bedroom, ready to scold her, for whatever reason but much to his surprise, she wasn’t in the room, ‘Strange, it’s’ almost 2am, where could she be?’ Dan then turned, his feet taking him to the nursery room. When he opened the door he saw donut on the rocking chair with Danny but what caught his attention was the cream colored skin of donut’s breast as she fed his son. Dan quickly diverted his gaze in order to not get caught staring at her. Donut quickly covered herself up as she heard the nursery door open. She felt shyness overcome her as her eyes landed on Dan. Her eyes then, met his icy cold orbs, & the warmth she felt earlier left her, ‘Is he still mad about this morning?’ Donut wondered. Dan gave her the coldest stare he could muster, trying to avoid staring at her now covered breast, “We need to talk. Hurry up & put Danny to sleep. I’ll wait in the bedroom.” With that said, Dan left the nursery, leaving a very curious & nervous donut. He shook his head as he waited in the bedroom, trying to get the image of donut breast feeding Danny out of his mind. He refused to believe that the sight affected him, that it slightly weakened his knees. The thought that she'd that power over him infuriated Dan. When he heard the door open, he got ready to insult her due to spite but the insult got caught in his throat. There goes that feeling again, the weakening of the knees as he watched donut came in with Danny in her arms & clenched his jaw, mad that she affected him that way twice in the same night, “I thought I told you to put him to sleep?! Didn’t I make it clear that I needed to talk to you?!” Dan spat, making donut flinch at his bitter tone, “I’m...I’m sorry, it’s just that Dan...Danny is restless tonight. I couldn’t leave him by himself.” Donut stammered. For a moment, Dan forgot his hatred. His expression softened as he frowned, his eyes reflecting concern for his son. He went closer to touched Danny’s cheek, “He doesn’t seem to have fever. Did he eat properly today?” Dan asked worried, not realizing the close distance between him & donut, as he caressed his son’s face. When donut didn’t say anything, he looked up to realize she was only a few inches away from him. Donut remained silent, completely aware of his closeness. She could even smell his cologne. Dan stepped back abruptly, clearing his throat, “Anyways, I wanted to tell you that you need to start planning your birthday party. The fashion world is expecting something lavish since you're my wife.” His icy cold tone was back again. Before donut could reply, Dan turned around & went into the bathroom to take a shower. Donut sighed as she made her way to the white bed. She placed Danny in the middle & lay down on her side of the bed. She gently patted him & hummed him a lullaby as both drifted off to sleep. When Dan came out from his shower, he saw his wife & son sleeping peacefully. He quietly slipped onto his side of the bed to not disturb them, & turned his back to them, refusing to acknowledge the effect they'd on him. Late into the night, Danny fussed slightly in his sleep. A sleeping Dan unconsciously turned & placed his hand over donut’s, the same hand which she'd over Danny. Danny stopped fussing when he felt the warmth of his parents, as all 3 of them soundly slept for the rest of the night.
 

mainhiathao

sarNie Granny
awwhhh feel happy for danny, such a cute child. i love the ending to that ep/ch. so cute, n sweet. update me on teh next ch. :dance1:
 

PhoneO_5

sarNie Oldmaid
I can't wait til Dan starts to really love Donut and they find out who drugged who.
I love how they both love their baby, even though Dan currently hates her. OMG I love your description of Dan in Ch. 1, very on point :D
 

85sNm_wDd84

sarNie Egg
Chapter 4​
Donut walked into the lobby of the panache building. The receptionist smiled & let her through without asking any questions. Donut took the elevator up to the top floor, the floor where Dan & beam’s offices were located. That morning, she woke up to a sleeping Danny & an otherwise empty bedroom. Dan seemed to have left for work extra early. A few hours later, she got a call from nutt nattapong dechapanya, a well known photographer & really good friend. Nutt & donut became friends when she was still a struggling model. He was her 1st photographer. Nutt went on a fashion assignment abroad around the same time donut got pregnant, & they lost touch. However, he was now back from his 2 year assignment so you ask what has that got to do with her coming to panache? Nutt wanted to have lunch with donut today & catch up. Donut has been calling Dan all morning to let him know that she'll be out with a friend, but he hasn’t been picking up her calls. No surprise there so donut decided to simply drops by before her lunch date with nutt. At first, she hesitated to come, knowing that Dan won’t be too pleased in seeing her but she wanted to let him know nonetheless that she might be coming home late tonight. She stepped out of the elevator & was greeted by a huge poster of Benz punyaporn pongpipat. She walked up to the picture & longingly, looked at it, her picture used to be there as well, “I still say your picture looked the best on that wall.” Donut turned to the owner of the voice & came face to face with a smiling beam. She smiled back as he gave her a peck on the cheek, greeting her, “What're you doing here?” Beam asked, curious “I came to tell Dan something, is he in his cabin?” Donut asked, as casually as possible, trying to sound like it’s the most natural thing for her to visit her husband, “You’re right on time. He just came back from a meeting. Go right ahead.” Beam replied, before going on his way. Donut reached Dan’s cabin door & took a deep breath before knocking. When Dan replied, she entered. It’s amazing how a person’s expression can change in a second. Dan’s expression went from curious to frosty right before her eyes, “What're you doing here & what do you want?” Dan asked, emotionlessly “Sor...sorry to...sorry to bother you, you wouldn’t answer your phone, so...” Donut stammered, “Go straight to the point. I don’t have all day.” Dan said, cutting her off. Donut took a deep calming breath before continuing, “I just came to tell you that I’ll be going out with a friend today...” “So?” Dan rudely cut her off again. He shuffled some papers on his desk before continuing, “I don’t care, what you do & who you do it with.” Dan said, dismissing her. He didn’t bother looking back up, even when he heard his cabin door gently close. Dan entered his mansion to find 1 of his maids still there, “What're you still doing here? It’s...” He looked at his watch, “11:30pm." “Forgive me sir, but madam isn't back, yet & she gave me specific instructions to stay with Danny sir, until 1 of you came back.” The maid said, before making her exit. Dan frowned at what the maid said, ‘Not back, yet? Where could she be this late at night?’ He thought to himself. Then, he remembered donut mentioning earlier today that she was going out with a friend, ‘But who would she be with this late at night?’ Dan shrugged off the question, ‘Like I cared if I get lucky she won’t come back.’ Dan thought, stubbornly. He took a quick shower & hurried to the nursery. He didn’t spend as much time as he liked with Danny, since he was with donut most of the time. Dan reached the nursery & his usually cold face softened when he saw Danny in his crib, playing with his hot pink teddy bear, “Hi, son.” Dan murmured, as he lifted Danny into his arms, pressing a gentle kiss on his temple. Danny cooed, putting his chubby little hands on Dan’s cheeks. When Dan smiled, Danny poked his dimple, flashing his own in the process. Dan sat with Danny in the rocking chair & softly hummed a lullaby. When Danny’s eyes finally closed, Dan’s eyes glanced at the clock, 12:15am. He wasn’t waiting, of course, he wasn’t waiting. Donut stepped into the mansion at 12:45am, expecting the maid to still be there. She frowned when she didn’t see her anywhere. She specifically told the maid to stay with Danny until she or Dan came back. Does that mean Dan...? No, he never comes back this early. The maid was probably around somewhere. Donut felt emptiness in her chest, Dan’s words still ringing in her ears from this afternoon. His words have always been harsh & they've always pierced donut’s heart until she felt nothing. All that was left was numbness. She went straight to the nursery, wanting to check up on Danny before she went for a shower & she was welcomed by a warm sight. There was Dan sleeping on the rocking chair while holding a sleeping Danny. Donut watched them for a few moments, soaking in every detail, capturing this moment in her memory. It was rare to see father & son together like this, completely unguarded & at peace. She then, moved as quietly as possible, taking a white blanket placing it over their sleeping forms. She lightly caressed Danny’s cheek before kissing his head. She then, glanced at Dan’s sleeping face, she knew, she shouldn’t have but she couldn’t help herself. She placed a gentle kiss on Dan’s forehead as well, before quietly leaving, closing the door behind her. Dan opened his eyes, catching a glimpse of donut’s retreating back, before he simply looked at the now closed door. He stared at it for several moments, lost in his thoughts; until he felt Danny shift in his arms, “Shhh.” Dan softly said, as he went back to soothing his son.
 

PhoneO_5

sarNie Oldmaid
so cute. dan and danny, their dimples :D I can't wait until Dan stops thinking Donut drugged him and that he was kinda at fault that night for saying those words to her even though he was drugged. A girl takes things to heart when they're in love.
 

jeeja

Miss SMILES :D
this is how i feel about Dan now :smack: lol haha. i wanna smack him :p
he's so harsh to Donut, n like Phone said, a girl takes things to her heart when she's in love.
he better realize she has a heart b4 he breaks it apart :cry1:
 

85sNm_wDd84

sarNie Egg
Chapter 5​
Donut smiled at, yet another guest who wished her happy birthday. She was dressed in a light blue strapless cobait shantung knee-length that hugged her every curve. Her hair was up in an undone undo style & she wore a simple gold & Lucite earrings & a pearl bracelet to finish off her look. Dan stole glances at her as he stood with her in a circle of guests, including beam & film. Donut looked exceptionally beautiful tonight & he couldn’t help but look at her once in a while. He then, noticed nutt nattapong dechapanya & sornram tappituk num, a well known model turned actor, approach the group. He also noticed donut’s face break out into a genuine smile as she spotted the approaching men, “Happy birthday, darling.” Nutt said, as he kissed donut’s cheek. Donut simply smiled back, “I’m sure, you know sornram tappituk num.” Nutt introduced num, as he shook Dan’s hand in greeting, “Yes, of course, I’ve never worked with him but I know of his work.” Donut stated, & extended her hand to num for a handshake, “Pleasure to meet you num.” Donut said, politely “Pleasure's all mine gorgeous & happy birthday.” Num said, lifting donut’s hand to his lips, surprising her. Dan’s eyes flicked to where num kissed donut’s hand & frowned, “Sooo...?” Nutt began, “Have you told Dan about what we talked about donut?” Dan gave donut a questioning look, “When did you meet him?” He asked, as casually as possible, “Um...you know, that day when I went to your office...” Donut began to explain, but was cut off by nutt, “So, you haven’t told him?” He asked, “Tell me, what?” Dan asked, getting very curious, “Well, I was wondering if donut would like to model for 1 of my upcoming photo shoots.” Nutt said. When donut had lunch with nutt a week ago, he asked her to be part of his current project, but she said that she would've to talk to Dan about it first. However, donut couldn’t help but feel extremely excited at the thought of modeling again, even if it was for a little bit, “But she doesn’t model anymore & she’s married.” Dan stated the obvious. Donut bowed her head slightly in disappointment. Of course, he wouldn’t agree. Silly her for thinking that even for a moment! “Well, donut would actually be perfect for the concept. You see, the designer who hired me for the job is advertising jeans & his basic concept is that he wants people of all ages wearing it. Even married women or mothers even & they can look sexy wearing it, too. I think, donut would be perfect for it & plus, I miss taking photos of her.” Nutt playfully winked at donut, before continuing, “Models these days just don’t have the same charisma she did.” Nutt stated, trying his best to convince Dan. Donut held her breath, waiting for Dan’s decision. Beam, who was quite this whole time, finally spoke, “I think, it’s a good idea. It'll definitely get the message across to the common public, especially if it’s a model who relates to them." Dan pondered a little bit more, especially after he heard beam’s opinion. Why should he care what donut does anyways? She could do whatever she wanted, after all. Dan then gave a fake smile flashing his dimples before answering, “Alright then, she can do it if that’s what she really wants.” Everyone around them became excited. The queen would model after 2 whole years. Donut simply stood frozen, too shocked, too happy to move. She'll model again. Even if it was a one time thing, she'll model again, ‘Why did he agree? Did he finally realize how much I missed it!? Do I still have it in me? Will I be able to face the camera again?’ All these thoughts rushed through donut’s head as she took a quick break in the ladies room, trying to calm her excitement. She then, rushed out in search of Dan. No matter what, the reason was, she'd to thank him. She spotted him in the corner talking to some business associates. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, asking, “Dan, can I talk to you for a moment?” Dan felt the warmth of her hand through his light blue tuxedo coat. He excused himself & followed donut to an isolated hallway, “What?” Dan asked, irritated. Donut took a calming breath before she spoke, “I wanted to thank you for letting me model again. You don’t know how much I missed it.” “Well, if you hadn’t tricked me into getting you pregnant you wouldn’t have to give it up it in the 1st place.” Dan stated, rudely. He turned to leave but then stopped, turning to face a hurt donut, “Oh, & just to make it clear.” Dan continued unaffected, “I didn’t agree to let you model again because you missed it. I could careless. I only agreed because I didn’t want to come off as a bad husband in front of everyone. Image is everything in the fashion world. People need to know that the CEO of panache is a happily married man to a former successful model, & that his son isn't a scandalous mistake.” With that said, Dan went back to the party, leaving behind a devastated donut. She never understood why he blamed her for that night. Why he thought she tricked him into it. She thought they were in it together. That the feeling was mutual but he blamed her. She felt her excitement die away as the numbness returned once again. She wiped the lone tear that escaped the corner of her eye. Now, wasn't the time. She took a moment to compose herself before rejoining the party, a smile plastered on her face. Donut took a sip of her drink, trying to hide her sadness as she watched people enjoying themselves on the dance floor, “Why the long face birthday girl?” Donut turned to see num approaching her “Are you enjoying yourself?” Donut asked, avoiding his question. Num nodded smiling, “It’s a great party but you know what would make it even better?” He asked. Donut gave him a curious look when yunho extended his hand to her, “If I got the opportunity to dance with the birthday girl.” He answered a gentle smile on his face. Donut hesitated. She wasn’t sure how Dan would feel about this, & she also didn’t want any unnecessary gossip, “Oh come on, just one dance. I promise to behave.” Num said, playfully “Unless, you’re too scared that you won’t be able to keep up with me.” He stated, confidently. That did it. Donut chuckled & placed her hand in num’s, letting him lead her to the dance floor. He pulled her close & started doing the tango. Num spun her around & gave her a swift dip, before pulling her back up & moving with the fast paced music. Donut let out a hearty laugh, her previous mood forgotten for the moment. She met num step for step until the dance came to a close, moving to a slower number, “Thank you for cheering me up!” Donut said, as she beamed up at a smiling num, “Your welcome. I got to keep my future partner happy.” He said, playfully “Excuse me?” Donut asked, confused “I might as well tell you. I’m the model you’re partnered up with for nutt’s project.” Num stated. Donut formed an ‘O’ with her lips, before she asked, “But I thought you don’t model anymore?” “I don’t, but nutt's a friend & I’m only doing this for him.” Num answered, “That’s nice of you.” Donut stated, smiling, as she continued to sway with num. Dan finished the rest of his whiskey in one gulp & asked the bartender for another. He was in a foul mood, the memory of his wife & num dancing was still replaying itself in his mind. He remembered his jaw clenching & hands forming a fists at the sight of them, simply enjoying each other’s company. Donut never smiled at him like that. He almost went up to them if he hadn’t caught himself in the last moment, confused as to why he felt angry. Donut was allowed to do whatever she wanted. The sight of her with another man shouldn’t bother him. He kept on telling himself it was because he feared another scandal. He was mad that donut wasn’t being careful enough but who was he kidding? A harmless dance with a guest will never create a scandal so to calm himself down; he went to the bar for another drink, wishing the party to end soon. Most of the guests have already left. Donut & Dan stood at the door saying their goodbyes to the last remaining, “It was a wonderful party donut." Nutt said, as he kissed donut’s cheek. He then, shook hands with Dan, “Thank you for inviting me & thank you for letting donut model for me again.” He said, smiling genuinely. Dan smiled back, flashing his dimples putting his arm around donut’s shoulder, “It’s not a problem at all, honestly. I’m happy that she’ll be doing it again.” He answered. Donut gave a weak smile, her body slightly stiffening at his touch. Num then stepped up to bid his goodbye. Dan felt his jaw clench again, “Thank you for such a wonderful evening mr & Mrs. danuwong.” He said, politely. He then, gave donut a soft peck on her cheek before he said, “I’ll see you soon, partner.” He playfully grinned & winked at donut, before he & nutt exited leaving behind an irritated Dan. He slowly breath in & out, trying to calm his rising temper but when donut softly chuckled at num’s comment, Dan lost his control & when she turned to face Dan, her smile faded, seeing his infuriated glare, “Dan, what’s wron...?” Donut couldn’t finish her sentence. Dan grabbed her wrist roughly & dragged her up the stairs, “Ow! Dan!” Donut yelped, in pain. She tried to pry his hand loose, but to no avail. Her discomfort fell on deaf ears. Dan was too furious to listen. The image of donut & num dancing intimately to the tango flashed through his eyes again. Donut laughing openly at something num said, prettily blushing as he kissed her goodbye & what did he mean by ‘Seeing her soon?’ & he WINKED at her. Dan dragged a squirming donut into their bedroom & turned to angrily look at her. Donut looked scared & confused at the same time. Not knowing what she did wrong, “Da...” She was cut off once again, because Dan pushed her against the wall & crushed his mouth on hers. He felt angry. At her & himself. He promised himself, he wouldn't fall for her charms again & yet, she still managed to make him jealous. When she tried to break free from his grasp he roughened the kiss. Taking her wrists & pinning them to the wall. He felt furious. He’s sure; donut initiated the flirting with num. He’s sure, that she enjoyed being in another man’s arms. Slut! WHORE! She’s doing it on purpose to get a rise out of him. He slightly opened his eyes to see tears forming on donut’s eyes. The water getting caught on her lashes. It caused his hold on her to slightly gentle. Who was he kidding? He was angry at himself for knowing that deep inside she wouldn’t do something like that. He knew that deep inside she cared for him & his son. That night when she caught him with Danny, he knew that she wasn’t capable of doing all the things he accused her for. Even before everything went wrong, he remembered her being a sweet, innocent girl he took under his wing. Dan was about to let donut go until he felt her finally kissing back, much to his surprise. The kiss was gentled as it became slower, more savoring. Dan let go of donut’s wrists to slowly glide his hands down her sides before encircling her waist. He felt her uncertainness as she placed her hands around his neck but he felt her longing as well. He trailed kisses on her jaw line, pulling her closer to him by the waist. When his lips reached her neck, he placed a soft kiss on her hammering pulse before continuing to her bare shoulder. He twirled her around & started leading her towards the greenish bed. When he reached to undo her dress, his eyes met donut’s. He should stop. He knew he should. This is a big mistake. For a moment, he considered leaving her there but what she did next surprised him. She placed a gentle hand on his cheek & looked at him with so much love. Her gentle smile gracing her lips as she looked at him, even after all the things he said & did to her. That was his undoing. Dan slowly peeled donut’s dress off her. He then, undressed himself before gently pushing donut on their bed, as he made love to her for the 1st time in 2 years. Dan looked out into the darkness of the room, trying to wrap his mind around what happened. After they made love donut went to the bathroom, leaving Dan alone for a moment with his thoughts. When he heard the bathroom door open, he shut his eyes to pretend he's sleeping. Donut smiled when her eyes landed on Dan. He was so devastatingly handsome & he looked like an angel sleeping. She couldn’t help but feel drawn to him. She made her way to the bed & sat next to him, simply observing him. Not being able to control herself, donut placed a soft kiss on his forehead & another gentle kiss on his lips. She pulled back a little to see Dan slightly opening his eyes, gazing back at her. They stayed like that for a moment, noses almost touching, simply looking at each other. Dan then sighed, feeling the ice in his heart melt a little. He placed his hand at the back of donut‘s neck, gently pulling her down for another kiss. He then, rolled over, trapping her beneath him for another round of love making.
 

PhoneO_5

sarNie Oldmaid
Such a hot chapter! :w-scene-pop-corn: :slapandkissse3: My kind of storyline :p Can't wait to read more!
 

85sNm_wDd84

sarNie Egg
sorry about the late update. busy with school stuff. well here's chapter 6 everyone. hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 6​
“Alright donut, I want you to lean into num a little, that’s right just like that.” Nutt directed, as he clicked away with his camera. Donut did as she was told, but her mind was on something else. It has been 3 weeks since her & Dan made love. He was so gentle that it made donut smile at the memory. However, he has not talked or interacted with her since that night, which made donut sigh in disappointment, “Ok now, I want you to completely lean on num. Put one leg around his waist & num I want you to place a hand on donut’s thigh. Yeah, just like that.” CLICK! “Bring the passion in guys; I want you to look at each other with lust.” CLICK! Nutt grinned when he finished the last few poses. He knew, he made the right decision in using donut for this shoot & she STILL had it in her. The camera simply loved her, “Alright guys, it’s a wrap. Good Job.” Nutt said, as he put down his camera & made his way to donut, giving her a hug, “You guys were fabulous.” He said. Donut let out a relieved breath, “Thank god. I was so worried I was doing it all wrong.” She replied, “Oh please darling, we’re the best, that’s why, nutt chose us.” Num said, winking at nutt & giving donut a grin. They were then, interrupted by num’s secretary, “Sir, madam is on the line.” Donut noticed num’s face lit up as he excused himself & went to a quiet corner with his phone. Nutt chuckled before turning back to face a slightly curious donut, “That’s his girlfriend calling.” When donut gave a surprised look, nutt laughed, “You would think with his flirting personality he's a total player, but in truth he's madly in love with his girlfriend.” Nutt stated. Donut smiled watching num, who was talking on the phone with a big smile on his face. Another week later. Dan downed another glass of whiskey, starting to get a little tipsy. He looked down at the picture of donut straddling num for the jeans ad, & downed another glass of whiskey. As expected, the ad was a success but more then that, donut was welcomed back into the fashion world with open arms. She already received four new offers for modeling after the success of the jeans ad. Dan was not surprised. He knew she was the best at what she did but no matter, how much he wanted to, he could not deny the fact that the ad bugged him. Num’s hand was placed dangerously close to donut’s buttocks & the way they were looking at each other...Dan downed another glass of whiskey. He has been avoiding donut for 4 weeks now. Always leaving early for work, working late into the night, or going to Benz’s. He hated himself for losing control & he blamed donut for seducing him, yet again. What added to his fury was that he wanted her again, & she was not here. She was with num, celebrating the success of their ad. Was she wrapping her arms around num’s neck as she did with him? Dan’s eyes flickered down to the picture again. He down another glass of whiskey before hurling the glass across the room with all his strength, shattering it to pieces. Beam parked his car in front of one of the local clubs. He entered & searched for a familiar figure. It was not hard; she was creating havoc at the bar. Beam approached a completely drunk gig suwatchanee chaiyamugsik. He was heading home when he got a call from a friend that gig was drunk & misbehaving again. This was the last straw. Her misbehaviors were starting to effect panache’s reputation, & beam was now personally here to deal with her, “I demand you to give me another drink. Do...do you know who I'm?” Gig slurred at the bartender, as she struggled in the security guard’s grip, “I got her.” Beam simply said, as he grabbed gig by her arm & dragged her towards the exit, “Enough gig.” Beam said, in an authoritative tone as she started struggling with him but gig did not listen. She was too drunk to listen. Earlier today, she found out about the success of donut’s ad, which is the reason why she got drunk tonight. When she continued to struggle, beam held her by her shoulders, giving her a threatening glare, “Do you want Dan to deal with you instead? You know his temper. The boss will be really pissed off if he has to leave his wife & kid in the middle of the night to deal with you.” Beam threatened, “It’s that bitch’s entire fault!” Gig spat out, beam’s words not affecting her drunken state, “She'll not take my success away again!” Gig lost her balance, but beam caught her, very confused at what she is saying, “Gig, what're you talking about?” Beam asked, as he maneuvered her to his car, “That bi...that bitch donut! She will not take away my spotlight again. I...I ruined her once, I'll do it again.” Gig murmured, too drunk to realize what she was saying. Beam frowned, 'Ruin donut?' "What're you talking about?” He asked, now extremely confused. Gig giggled, “I drugged her drink that night... *Giggle* she got pregnant &... *Giggle* she was out of my way.” Gig giggled, one more time before she finally passed out in beam’s arms. Beam stood there shocked, ‘Drugged donut’s drink? Got her pregnant so she would not be able to model anymore? I had better talk to Dan. Something doesn’t feel right about this.’ He thought to himself, as he placed gig in the white passenger’s seat & drove her home. Donut entered the danuwong mansion around 1:30am. She was out with the team celebrating the success of the ad. She would have come home earlier but nutt kept on convincing her to stay a few minutes more & she honestly enjoyed herself after a long time, the thrill of success still running through her. She had forgotten how it felt to have her work appreciated. She was so surprised at the reaction the ad got, & to know that the fashion world missed her work so much put her on cloud 9. She entered the dark bedroom; with a small smile, adorning her face when Dan’s slashing voice startled her, “Good to know you’re finally home from your rendezvous!” Dan spat, slurring a little. Donut’s smile faded as she saw Dan sitting in one of the chairs in the darkness. The moonlight slashing across his cold face, making him looks dangerous. Donut felt fear rise in her heart as he stood up & made his way towards her, slightly unsteady. She backed up a step & another until she was finally trapped between the wall & Dan. She could smell the alcohol on him, & his hard face sent chills down her spine, “Tell me, did you enjoy his touch?!” Dan hissed, as he trailed a finger along donut’s jaw line, making her flinch. Confused at what he meant, donut managed to ask in a trembling voice, “What're you talking...abou...?” SLAP! Donut’s cheek burned from the contact of Dan’s hand. She then yelped, in pain when he grabbed her hair & pulled her head back, “DON’T play innocent with me!” Dan barked, “I know, you enjoy straddling that num. So, tell me...?” He asked, yanking donut’s hair further, “Ah!” Donut cried, tears rolling down her face as she tried to loosen his grip, “Did you enjoy it? You are coming from his place, didn’t you? Did he make you quiver like I did?” Dan dangerously whispered, before slapping her again, her sobs not affecting his drunken state, “Dan, please?” Donut begged, between her sobs, “SHHH!!!” He hissed. He then, trailed his hand down donut’s chest & roughly, grabbed onto her breast, “No, stop, please?” Donut pleaded once again, “SHUT UP!” Dan yelled, before hurling her to the white floor. He then, crawled on top of her & roughly, kissed her. Donut struggled with all her might. When Dan moved from her lips to bite her shoulder, she cried out, “DAN! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP!” Donut yelled, her heart wrenching sobs reaching no one. Dan’s rough hands groped her inappropriately, “No, please?” Donut whimpered, starting to lose her strength. Therefore, this is how it will end, her own husband, a man she loved, despite his flaws, will shame her. Dan ripped the sleeve of donut’s white top, sinking his teeth to the new exposed flesh. His common sense completely clouded with alcohol. He could not think straight. All he knew was that he could not stand the thought of another man touching her. He wanted to brand her his, why? He did not know. He then, heard a faint wail; it kept on getting louder, & louder. It then, cut through his drunken state like a sharp knife, bringing him back to his senses, Danny’s wails from the baby monitor. Dan looked down at an unmoving donut, her tear stained face emotionless. He scrambled up in a flash, as if she burned him. For a moment, there was no sound except for Danny’s wails. Dan rubbed a frantic hand over his face, “I’m...I...sor...I’m...” He stuttered. A look of shock still plastered on his face. He stumbled back a little, utterly disgusted with himself! He then, dashed to the door. He stumbled down the stairs before he finally made it out the front door, not knowing his destination. Donut lay exactly how Dan left her, completely still, except for the tears rolling down her face. Danny’s cries brought her back to reality. She shot up, crossing her arms across her body in defense. She tried to breath between her sobs, choking a few times. She then, made dash for the nursery to pick up a crying Danny, “Shhh.” Donut soothed, “Mommy’s here." She said, as she patted Danny’s back. Once, his wails became soft whimpers donut hugged him close to her. She then, lowered to the white ground & cried softly, holding onto her son for comfort. When a dream shatters, the echo of it shoots straight to the heart. The heart may be strong enough to endure it the first time, but maybe not the 2nd. One dream shattered 2 years ago, tonight another dream shattered, & it doesn’t look like my heart can endure it the 2nd time around.
 

PhoneO_5

sarNie Oldmaid
Woah, I had a feeling she drugged the drinks. But I also suspected her photographer friend haha. Hope Dan finds out the truth in the next chapter. Now Donut's heart is aching. Dan you gotta work hard to have her forgive you. :(
 

85sNm_wDd84

sarNie Egg
Chapter 7​
Dan woke up with a massive hangover the next morning. He squinted against the sunlight & pressed 2 fingers on his forehead to ease the pain. His eyes then, shot open, memories from last night flashing back, “Oh no, what've I done?” Dan murmured to himself, rubbing a hand over his tired face, “Wow, you look like shit!” Dan turned to the voice & saw beam walking in with lime juice & some Advil, “Here, it’ll help with the hangover.” Beam said, handing Dan the juice & pills. He was woken up late last night by a drunken Dan banging on his front door. He didn’t know, what happened, & he won’t pry. Dan will tell him when he's ready. Dan stayed silent, lost in his thoughts as he took the pills. He then, swung his legs over the dark green bed & covered his face with his hands, feeling like crap! He couldn’t get donut’s pleas out of his mind, “Oh, I wanted to ask you something. Last night I took a drunken gig home, & she said some things...” Beam said, trailing off. Dan could care less about gig, but he still gave beam a curious look, waiting for him to continue, “She was mumbling something about ending donut’s career, drugging her drink & some other things.” Beam added, “What?” Dan asked, his full attention now on beam, “Yeah, apparently she was mumbling something about drugging donut’s drink, her getting pregnant, & how she hates her & stuff for taking her spotlight as a model.” Beam finished explaining. Dan sat frozen, beam’s words slowly sinking in, ‘Oh my god. It was gig who drugged donut’s drink that night. Donut had no idea, & this whole time I thought donut was behind it. The drink was meant for donut, not me.’ Dan’s heart sank as he processed everything, “You alright?” Beam asked, a dazed Dan. It was as if he saw a ghost, “What've I done?” Dan murmured, as he covered his face with his hands again, “What've I done?” Beam placed a hand on Dan’s shoulder; a frown adorned his handsome face as he watched his best friend, “What’s going on Dan?” He asked, sensing that something was seriously wrong. Dan gave beam a miserable look & told him everything, what happened that fateful night, his relationship with donut, how he acted towards her, what happened last night, everything. Beam stared at Dan, completely shocked. Silence filled the room for a few seconds before the sound of fist meeting jaw was heard. Dan stumbled back because of the force beam’s punch created. He didn’t retaliate. He knew, he deserved it, “You idiot!” Beam barked, furiously “I know, I know, I’m a horrible person. I don’t deserve her.” Dan murmured, not even trying to stand up, “No dumbass! You’re an idiot because you’re still here!” Beam shouted. A confused Dan looked up. Beam took a calming breath before continuing, “Go to her Dan. She needs you more then, ever right now. You need to fix this. You need to tell her that you love her.” “Love her?” Dan questioned. Beam nodded, “Yes. You can be so dense sometimes Dan. You're madly in love with her; why else do you think you got jealous every time donut was with another man? Every time, she was with num? Why do you think you're so affected whenever you see her with Danny? You fell in love with her despite the conditions that brought you 2 together. You were just too stubborn to admit it.” Beam concluded. Dan let beam’s words sink in. Deep down he knew he fell in love with donut, but he was always blinded by the past to acknowledge his feelings. He always came up with reasons to hate her. Not anymore. Dan sprinted to the door, but stopped at the entrance. He turned back to see beam standing on the same spot. Dan massaged his jaw before he said, “Damn beam, you throw a mean right punch!” “& you got a face made of rock.” Beam said, flexing his aching right hand. Both men grinned at each other before Dan hastily continued towards his destination. Dan hurried inside his house, praying the whole way for donut to find it in herself to forgive him. He wanted to make up for the lost time; he wanted to become a good husband & a better father. Dan frowned when he found the house empty. Panic started to rise as he scurried to the bedroom to find that empty as well. He ran to the closet to only find his clothes. He ran to the nursery to find the same result, empty. Reality hit him as he sank down to the floor, tears starting to form in his eyes. The pain in his chest increased & became unbearable. This was his punishment. His family was gone, his lover was gone, he was all alone, & it was his entire fault.
 
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