-1-
The first time they met, Kadesurang was sitting alone at the Meet and Greet of the Freshman and the Upperclassman of Archeology Major, looking like she didn’t know if she should be miserable because she was alone, or because the 10 baht Sushi in front of her tasted awful.
Reungrit had just finished his business in a restroom in the Faculty Building, and was about to go back to the group he was with when he noticed a chubby girl picking her food. Her face is half-hidden in a mass of straight black hair.
She was alone.
Usually, Reungrit doesn’t consider himself as a empathetic person, nor was he kind enough to offer friendship to someone he was pretty sure he had never met before. Even though he thought of himself as outgoing and friendly, he did have his own criteria, even though it was kind of harsh.
But she was alone.
In a momentary burst of compassion, he approached her.
‘What am I doing?’ He asked himself. No answer. Weird.
When he got closer, he heard her whispered while poking on the somewhat pathetic-looking salmon sushi furiously.
“This is bad. Very bad. This must have expired awhile ago. OMG. I can’t--What if I get diarrhea?”
“Hey.” He chimed up, unsure.
“…I shouldn’t have bought this, seeing that color should have warned me that this Sushi box would taste like--“
“Hey!”
The girl stopped.
Reungrit was mildly amused and annoyed at the same time by the way the chubby girl oh so slowly looking up to see who was standing so near to her, and was about to open his mouth to let out a comment about what she did to the sushi--
But then their eyes met.
Unknowingly, Reungrit took a small step back.
Her eyes, the eyes that he was looking straight into, it was…almost so big. So doe-like. So..familiar.
Thud.
What was that?
The freshman fought the sudden urge to rub his hands over his left chest, still locking eyes with the chubby girl who, contrary to what he had thought, was so attractive that it made him forget how to breathe for a second.
Wait, what?
“Hello?” The girl’s voice was soft but strong, and it resonated to something deep, deep inside of Reungrit’s heart. Something more intuitive, something timeless.
He swallowed.
“Hey.” His voice came out more choked than he had intended, and he corrected it by smiling tentatively at her, still puzzled by the reaction of his body. As soon as he could, Reungrit gathered his wits back to himself and asked the girl conversationally, “are you here for the Meet and Greet?”
“Yeah.” She answered easily, her eyes widened.
“So this is your lunch?”
She looked down at her supposed ‘lunch’ and pouted, answering him question sullenly. “No. No, it’s not. It doesn’t deserve an honor to be called lunch.”
Reungrit was alarmed when his heart melted a little.
“So..why are you sitting alone? The group you are assigned to, where are they?” He was secretly perturbed by the protective feeling that rose up almost immediately, and by the way she stared at him through those eyelashes, he’d say that she was just as surprised.
He didn’t care.
Then her eyes softened.
“I’m waiting for them to come back. They are right there.” She pointed to a group of girls lining to receive bottles of water. They were giggling, looking right back at them both mischievously.
He felt his face heated.
“Oh.”
Right, Ai Reung, you go ahead and embarrass yourself, man. Because, you know, in a book of a smart person, sitting alone means bullying.
“I’ll go back to my group then.” He stepped away, his face still red from embarrassment.
“Wait.”
They looked into each other’s eyes again.
Reungrit felt his throat constricted, and his eyes burned, even though he didn’t know a reason why.
“What’s your name?” She inquired, tilting her head a little.
He told her.
She smiled.
“I’m Kadesurang. Kade.”
Despite himself, Reungrit smiled, too.
He liked this girl.
(Later, after realizing that they were in almost every single class together, Kadesurang and Reungrit quickly became inseparable, the best of friends. No one asked why, as if everybody knew that they were meant to be.)
-2-
Reungrit never felt this close to any girls all his life. Girls. They were weird, and sometimes he loved them, but most of the time, he felt like he saw them through a Black and White filter.
But then Kadesurang came.
Suddenly there was blinding light and combinations of colors, and so many smells and sounds, and everything was vivid and happy, so carefree and so tender. And suddenly, he found himself falling for her.
Reungrit was amazed.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Kade raised her eyebrows, her cheeks flushed adorably.
“There was sauce here.” There really was. He reached out to wipe it away gently, “I’m just wondering how someone could eat so--”
He trailed off, winking. Kade’s face was even redder than before, but she didn’t look like she was mad about his teasing words.
“Why thank you, Butler.” She sniggered, looking away.
“Your welcome, Mae Ying Kadesurang.” His voice sounded more tender than he had thought it would be, but he didn’t have a mind to care because he noticed the way her body shivered for him.
Heck yeah, Reungrit for the win.
She looked back, beaming.
“Call me Mae Ying again.” She demanded, her voice light and mischievous.
“Your wish is my command, Mae Ying.” He gladly did, all the while wondering why it could be so comforting--almost familiar--to do so.
-3-
Once, he went on a date with another girl.
It felt awful.
He never did it again.
-4-
Sometimes Kadesurang would complain about how chubby she was, while he would agree that she should exercise more for her own health, he never did agree with how she said that she would look more beautiful if she was slimmer.
In Reungrit’s eyes, no one could look more beautiful than his girl. Chubby or not, Kadesurang was gorgeous.
Oh damn, he was so screwed.
-5-
He realized that she liked him too.
It felt pretty fucking terrific, really.
-6-
He would tell her.
Later.
(who would know that the ‘later’ would never come?)
-7-
She died.
She died.
It was his fault.
It literary like everything that made him whole was ripped away, so suddenly, so forcibly, and he wondered, what had he done to deserve this pain? To have Kadesurang ripped away from his life so violently, he couldn’t..
He was so sure that she was his. That he was hers.
“Kade.” Reungrit whimpered, his body trembled.
He pictured her wide smile, so bright and so lively, and felt like his heart was torn into tiny little pieces.
How could someone introduce her into his life, and then took her away? How could they?
-8-
He waited for a long time for her to appear in his dream. A ghost. A memory. Whatever, he didn’t care. He just wanted to see her again. Just to look into that doe-like eyes again, and to feel her heat trapped in his arms, he would give everything to hear her voice another time.
He waited. Waited. Waited.
She never did.
