[Ch3] Bpoop Phaeh Saniwaat (Broadcast Thai) : Pope Thanawat / Bella Ranee
- Thread starter Cookie_King1970
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Koy123
sarNie OldFart
Haha, that’s what you call great acting. That was the first rai role given to Jui after she left ch7.
You're do sweet always saying goodnight lol. Nite!!I am going to bed now, night everyone!.
No Noon! Wait I need a pic of them together cus like right now I can see her playing his mom. Would love to see Jui but girl is getting ready to be a bride so she's a bit busy at the moment. Matt looks cute with him but she's a bit tall. I don't mind Yaya, Kim, Preem or Nycha but the last two might be a tad too young lol. No Margie please.
No, no. I don't care for her as a person/actor. I never cared for her and I don't think I'd ever will so yeah... please no Jui so I can watch Pope. hahaha
Koy123
sarNie OldFart
Haha, I didn’t like looking at Ploy’s lip either. I like that it was a challenging role for Jui. I didn’t like Ploy’s portrayal of Kaung. She was too bitchy and needy, I didn’t feel sorry for her like I did when Anne played Kaung.
What are you guys watching now?
I am trying Nueng Dao for Taew and JJ... then I realized Weir's lakorn is on air.... LR is getting SO MUCh promotion and I might just tune in to see what's up.
I pop in and out of those threads but I am just hanging out here. Nothing is grabbing me like Buppe yet. So hard to move on.....
I am trying Nueng Dao for Taew and JJ... then I realized Weir's lakorn is on air.... LR is getting SO MUCh promotion and I might just tune in to see what's up.
I pop in and out of those threads but I am just hanging out here.
Nothing is grabbing me like Buppe yet. So hard to move on.....NDFD epi 1 was good but epi 2 was boring. SHJ isn't too bad, it's still chill right now. Preem/Alex's lakorn is cite bit it's a remake so it doesn't make me have that can see the next epi feeling..Lep Krut is good if you like action aaaannnnndddd not watching LR lol.
I have a funny photo of these two.... let me find it. BRB.
Koy123
sarNie OldFart
Hahaha, I don’t want to personally know her, just want to see her act with the actors I like. There’s not many from ch3 that I like. Jui is not gonna be acting for long I just want to see her in a few good lakorns before she stop acting or demoted to supporting. It’s all good if you don’t like her.
phatman
POPE's #1 MIA LUANG
Deal. Pisoot is to nice for me. I like bad boys.You can keep the druggie and I'll keep Khun PiSoot? DEAL.
Oh, we can share Por Date if Karakade doesn't come after us.
Idk. Too busy with. . . what were we discussing again? Haha.
Hahaha. The funny thing is Noon is only two years older.
No Kim.
Hahahaha. Dang girl. That was raengzzz mak.
I was searching for Bella gifs and came across this one. This scene has got to capture one of the most beautiful shots of Bella ever. Like I have just been inspired to collect all of Bella's most mesmerizing scenes in BPS.
And then came across this!!!
And then finally read this!!
Hahaha.
Spoiler !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Read at your own Risk.
SPOIL ALERT (happens after KM returns from France.”KM kneels beside the bed holding Ked's hands as she remains laying still on the bed. He gets really worried looking at her, "Mae Karaked, please wake up." Ked breathes softly. KM brings her hand to his nose to blow in some warmth air, "Please don't leave. Please stay here. Please don't leave." He then touches her faces, hopelessly. The loyal doctor comes in to take a look at her. He couldn't determine what kind of illness she has since he has never seen and experienced such health crisis before. KM talks to his dad in the library and both come to a conclusion that they should recite the chant to bring Ked back. Dad: "If we recite the chant and she comes back to be the same person, 4-5 years ago, what will you do?" KM: "Dad, you knew that she's not ...." Dad: "How is it that I don't know? This Karaked has a different behavior than my niece. She's more lovely. I'm deeply attached to her more than I can recall of my niece." KM is touched by his father's word, "I can't stand watching her laying still like this, Dad. If I have to risk it then I'll do it. I'm going to ordain to monkhood forever if she's not returning or if she returns and is not my Karaked but the old one." Ked's spirit travels back to the modern world and sees her mom/grandma/Reun. She meets Karaked and understands everything, from the past to the present. Learns that Ruen ordain into monkhood for her so that she can be reborne and that he's the reincarnation of KM. Also learns that Karaked and her are destined twin, where one can only survive at a time. Karaked gives her body to Ked (older sister) to go back to and thanks her for making her a good person in the eyes of others. She has enough blessings and will leave her body to Ked. Ked wishes to be borne as Karaked's twin in the next life, to live together and grow old together as twin. Ked's spirit comes back to the old days and into Karaked's body. She wakes up and sees how worn down KM is in the last few days; grown mustache and full of sadness
video Cr. buppesannivasfans
***************KM pulls her in for a tight hug, "This is real. You came back, my Karaked. I will be so broken if you don't return today (more of dying)." He bends down his neck to look at her. Pin rushes out of the room upon seeing the two embrace. Ked: "I have to return." KM looks at her in confusion. Ked: "Because I'm so hungry. So hungry I can eat a whole chicken." Hahaha ... she didn't use "cow" like we do here in the states lol KM bursts into a loud laughter. Everyone rushes in, wanting to go in to see Karaked, but is stopped by Pin as she stretches her arms across to deny them the entry. She finally explains to them that they can't go in because the two lovebirds are embracing each other (hugging/kissing -- she didn't say that directly but gesture the servants and Mae Champa to understand it that way). In the room, KM holds to Ked, kiss her softly on the check and eyes, "I was in torment as if I have can't breath (have no life). Please don't leave me again." Ked: "I didn't want to leave anyway. The world became dark after a tiny book fell on to me." KM just realizes something and quickly gets up to do something. Ked is left in confusion in her room. KM rushes to the library, bows to the chanting book, and takes it with him to throw away. His dad stops him. KM: "I'm going to destroy the book and get rid of it. If Karaked touches it again, she may not be this lucky again, Dad." Dad: "Think carefully, son. How can you destroy it? It may effect Mae Karaked." KM stops abruptly, awakes from hearing his dad's words, as he looks at Karaked, standing in the center of the room. KM: "I know what to do now, dad. Please let me keep this book." His dad shakes his head in agreement. KM walks out of the room. Ked: "Where is he going, uncle?" Dad: "He's going to take care of the book that makes you like this." KM: "What do you mean?" Dad: "Por Dae fears that next time you won't return to this body again. He will not accept it if the old Karaked comes back." KM turns to look at her uncle, "The real Karaked?" Note: She didn't reveal herself to him yet, he discovered it himself from the changes he has experience from her in the last 4-5 years that she's with him.
video Cr. bella_albums
spoiler Cr. cecilia_creation
spoiler Cr. cecilia_creation
Why is Kade so shy???? What could they have possibly talked about for Kade to move back like that?? I guess we'll find out after May 11th! Haha.
Hahaha. The funny thing is Noon is only two years older.
No Kim.
Is she really? She looks way older! Oh well then
.And yes I change my mind about Kim. I want to enjoy chatting in his lakorn thread
phatman
POPE's #1 MIA LUANG
Um me right now still struggling to finish STT. Was streaming Ep10 well and then the site crashed on me. So I'm stuck on Ep10. . . it'll be almost 2 months since I started STT, 3 months actually because I started it before BPS. Been going in and out of Got's lakorn, Weir's lakorn, Cee and Es' lakorn and Taew's lakorn. I still have to catch the premier's of two of them. Can't seem to move on completely yet either. Haha.What are you guys watching now?
I am trying Nueng Dao for Taew and JJ... then I realized Weir's lakorn is on air.... LR is getting SO MUCh promotion and I might just tune in to see what's up.
I pop in and out of those threads but I am just hanging out here.
Koy123
sarNie OldFart
That’s a whole lot of lakorns to be watching. Haha
phatman
POPE's #1 MIA LUANG
Yeah the hype around LR is overwhelming. It doesn't seem to be a Manee Yardfah remake either. It's like a spin off of it. Tbh, the storyline is very typically and cliched, I want intrigued by the teaser at all (like I ever do?? puahaa), but it's still an Anne production so I must be a loyal fan and check it out.
phatman
POPE's #1 MIA LUANG
Yes. She is still young, just not aging gracefully.Is she really? She looks way older! Oh well then
And yes I change my mind about Kim. I want to enjoy chatting in his lakorn thread
There is! Haha. Like why all of a sudden all these interesting ones are out at once. Why can't they be staggered. Haha
pangiaxiong
sarNie Adult
Why not LR?
Btw @milquety can you translate this? All I see is 880 lol. Is it a good thing?
https://www.instagram.com/p/BiOQeV-DwT5/
Rosi
Wifey #42
Hi Gang,
I couldn't get past the monk Rheungrit without crying, so this morning I decided to find myself a somewhat cure, a spell to numb and forget. I did a “Rheungrit is finally happy” story. Well, there's varying degress of happiness of course how could he be entirely happy when he doesn't have Kadesurang? Anyway, here it is. What do you think?
THE STORY OF RHEUNGRIT
**************************
"What??!" Khun Loong and son yelled, shocking Jumpa. She almost jumped! It made her squirm under the glare of her husband's sudden angry gaze. Her heart faltered at the barely suppressed expletive about to burst forth from his lips, something that has never happened before. But his cane flew down violently.
"Twice in the night, jao ka, but we managed to bring her round. But this last time …. since dawn…." Pin started sobbing.
"You didn't think to tell us?! If you weren't asked, you wouldn't have said anything??" Por Date didn't care to suppress the panic in his tone. Pin’s head bent even lower, her shoulders shaking with her tears.
His ears still ring the vicious slash of Prik's each eager swing, his heart the crushing pain as the seconds passed in those moments. If only he'd spoken up from the start! But all his life his mother's edicts have been law in their household. His dad had given her that right, and not for the life of anyone would he allow his wife fall in grace in the face of anything, even if he was very much against her form of justice.
"Her fever came high so fast, the first time it happened she said not to tell anyone....and ....and...." Pin faltered.
"And what, E'Pin?!! Stop stuttering!" Jumpa barked her impatience. The stony stare of her beloved son brings with it the flutterings of guilt. Not the always egotistical need to have things her way, but the guilt of intentionally waiting for a slip from the girl she hated. And with yesterday being such a fortuitous opportunity; she took it. Only she didn't expect Por Date to react as he did! Her husband’s cold, accusing eyes finally caused her heart to cringe in fear. Is that disappointment in his eyes? In their son’s?
"Nang Pin! Speak up!" Date’s voice wiped off Prik’s smug smile as she sat happily near Jumpa's feet. She was satisfied to hear Mae Karakade's suffered at her hands, that she had finally fainted from the beatings. Arrogant bitch! If only she could have hit her more!
"She’s prayed for this. She’s whispering over and over, “Grandma is here”…" Pin is crying in earnest now. "My lady often cried about missing them, her mum, her grandma; either awake or in her sleep .... and now she has come."
"Please, no...." breathed Por Date. He pushed past Joi and ran to Kade's bedroom.
***********
Kadesurang pushed again at the cold swirling cloud around her, not daring to open her eyes, and was starting to feel suffocated when she suddenly felt sunshine on her face. Her body jarred from being hit against something, and she gingerly peeked ..... looking around slowly. That reddish haze seems to be drifting away, and she found herself on the ground, at the gates of the neighhourhood temple. She's in a daze, not quite believing where she is. The thoughts returned slowly.
Their gardener had often left her, and mum and grandma right at this very spot; how she liked being under the shade of the arched gateway as a kid, to her it's impressive and promises serenity. She had started her love for temples old and new from this place. Here they have prayed for her dad who had long gone, and the grandfather who had been the guiding light in her growing years. Oh how soothing it is as always, and the slow chants of the monks from that hall putting her at peace.
Kade picked herself up and giggled, suddenly cheerful, her mind clearing and with it recollections of some naughty times. She would often drool of the lunch waiting at home and nudged her mum to hurry - that dear woman would often take some serious minutes to include a distant relative or other in her prayers. Over the years she would often caught her tearing up but then she'll turn to Kade's face and those tears would turn to relief. “At least you’re here,” she would whisper. She assumed it’s because she’s the only memory of the man she had married and lost. "Oh, mum! I'm seeing you soon!" sings her happy heart.
About to turn for her home up the street, she found her steps swerving instead, a strange need to walk into the grounds. Kade glanced again at the top of the temple. A modern roofing, not the ancient golden ones of the Wat Chaiwatthanaram which she passed just days ago. And under different skies too! "I'm home!" that pleasure crossing her mind once more, "Well, near close to home as I can get!" she adds.
Her brow crinkled; she can't remember ever having to be here on her own before. And the other thing too - her back isn't hurting anymore. Neither is the blinding pain in her spine that had followed along with that feverish ache which had beset her since ..... what happened? She squeezed her eyes shut; she wanted to forget. Growing up in a loving family where even a gentle slap on the hand was given in jest; under the violence of that whip she felt like she was being murdered. Her bones felt like it would crack! So cruel.... Prik was so cruel..... and Khun Mae… they’re all cruel….
A group passing by her chuckled. Kade made a face, she pouted - they were laughing at her! Is it because she's so fat? But she's used to that. Because some people are just so rude!
"Hello??" Kade challenged their amused looks with an accusing stare of her own.
She looked down. "Nothing different....P'Yam put this on me.... Oh!" her thoughts stilled.
She's not fat - she's not fat anymore for a long time now. She's slim and beautiful in the lovely outfit which she wore to the market with Khun P. Something felt hollow inside, her eyes warming. She suddenly saw him again, no matter how she tried to shut him out. He had tried to save her; she remembered that.
"Is that another dream? How am I here?" she whispered, her steps slowing.
Kade allowed herself memories of things which were pushed to the back of her mind. She had to, to survive in a new world where mum and grandma wasn't there. She had passed out from the shocking pain of being in that overturned car with Rheungrit to awake in a beautiful field where she met Mae Karakade, and here she is again returned to her hometown after another agonising bleeding episode ….
“Ahh, I get it! Pain means gain,” she clicked her fingers, coming to a sensible explanation. “Which means I’m back for good.”
Up ahead and crossing her path is a lone figure of one of the monks, moving in her same direction towards the entrance of the temple. But it was something about him which kept her eyes trained; he walked the gait of someone familiar. Kade stood watching for a while, that forlorn walk and pace is doing something sad to her heart. The longer she observed, the more it is she can't tear her eyes away. Apart from the shaved head and robes, it's impossible but seems to be like that someone she's known and loved for years.
"Height's the same, shoulders too ...." Kade followed in his wake, drinking in everything about him, while her mind is quick to deny, "It can't be.... it can't be!"
But if she's changed, why can't he?
"Ei Rheung! Rheung! Rheungrit!" she called out suddenly; she couldn't help herself. While hanging on to every hope that she's wrong.
She thought her voice went with the winds because he kept on walking. She called once more and he slowed in his steps - he's heard her. The monk slowly turned. And time, somehow, stopped.
Across that vast expanse of space, both Kadesurang and the monk silently studied each other, eyes running across each other's familiar features, then stilled and hold. In silence too, they both choked up and started crying. The girl in front of him is without her glasses, that thick mane of shoulder length hair now straightened to an elegant fall down her back and to her waist, but to the monk she is his Kadesurang as she ever was, and is. Rheungrit dropped the alms bowl of rice he was holding, the grains spilling around his feet but he stepped on them without thought and headed for her. They fell to their knees, hugging each other and sobbing as if their hearts is being ripped apart. He forgot what he is now, what he shouldn't do. His Kadesurang is back!
It took a long while for their tears to be spent, and much longer too before they can begin to smile or speak. They were uncaring sitting on the ground in the dust in the middle of the driveway, somehow the entire place seems magically cleared of others; even the chants of the monks have faded away. It felt as if they're the only two people left in the world.
"You've always been vain, having all those bits of facial hair when it's not allowed in school, but now you've even shaved your head!" she complained.
"And you - since when did you ever dressed this way? And this skirt, did you steal it from the Professor's class? You've been in love with it like anything... And, please don't be mad, I'm not saying you're chubby but seriously Kade - you've lost weight!"
"I know! I'm surprised too. I woke up this way, Rheung. But it’s a long story....long story. I don't want to talk about that first. I want to go home!"
They both lapsed into silence; too many things to ask and where to start. The overwhelming happiness seems to outweigh everything else, a joy close to bursting.
"Kade, is this a dream?"
"No, I'm here for real. But if it is, I don't want to wake up. But we're both here Rheung!! How could it be a dream??" she smacked his arm. She got hold a big piece of his flesh between her fingers and pinched it! He gave the most horrible howl. And rubbing that spot real fast!
"See? It's not a dream? I've pinched myself too!" she said excitedly. "I've missed you, Rheung."
"Me, too. I've missed you so much.... I can't take it without you, Kade."
"Is this why you've gone monk?"
Rheungkit gave an embarrassed, slight nod. "Whereas you have turned into a hot babe," he joked.
Their quick laughter then stopped just as suddenly; Kade’s eyes slowly filling, sparkling with tears. “You love me that much?” she whispered so softly, in wonder. Her heart grew tight, the smile she gave is bittersweet. "You're so selfish, you couldn't have ordained for any other reason."
"Yes. Silly huh? I waited too long to tell you,” he admitted.
And just as immediately he heard the voice of clarity in his head, “And too late." He frowned at that, he frowned at her. His Kade is so alive.
But she is here now, for whatever reason he will take this ..… And she is saying, "I love you, too. I love you, Rheungrit."
Slowly, that special sweet little smile of his which always softened her made its appearance. Her throat gripped at that feeling; she never thought to ever see it again. The way she always caught him looking whenever they were side by side in class and how she would know when he's been staring at her too long. Rheungrit's eyes got misty with the same choked up thoughts. This miracle of miracles, nothing could ever be explained. He wants to see what the next moments would bring.
For the first time in so long, he rubbed his head self consciously, embarrassed at Kadesurang seeing him this way. He had done merit once as a teenager, long before he ever met her but to be ordained as he did he's stopped thinking of life completely. It's as if only his body is walking; the soul inside of it has long gone. The soul who left along with her on the night of the accident.
"I've missed you, missed Mom, Grandma..... Twice today she held on to my hand, but each time she pushed me away.... she can't take me, she said. I kept holding on, clutching her sleeve, her waist but something always separated us. But now I'm here, Rheung, please hold on to me; please don't ever let me go. I want to see my family," Kade started crying again. She reached out to the trailing end of his robe, picking it up and clutching it tight with her fingers.
Rheungrit sat facing her, a knee up, and trying to be calm for the both of them. All these months he had prayed for her and prayed for also the impossible, the chance to see her again. His bleeding heart had cried until it all became empty, helpless. But now that she's here the pain of knowing what will inevitably happen would be far worse. Kade's not going to stay; she can't. He knows this. She already has a destiny. Wherever that may be, whatever that will be; but in this life and in this lifetime where he wants her badly to stay, that can never be.
"Kade, listen to me. What I am now ..... Kade, do you know why? Maybe you don't, how could you have known after .... but it's my fault, the accident. I had wished for one more day, I had wished for many days so I could be with you but we don't often get what we wished for."
"NO! You listen! It's not your fault; because I’m fine – as you can see. I only landed in another place for a while but now I’m back. I’m not going anywhere!"
"Kade....."
"Now don't interrupt me.... But Rheung, you won't believe where I was!! Ayutthaya, Rheung. AYUTTHAYA!! I saw everything. Beyond our wildest dreams!”
"Really? How do you know it's that and not some other fantasy place?"
"Fantasy place? Like what?? The Himmaphan Forest?" she laughed hysterically, what P'Pin and P'Yam called her horse laughter. The thoughts of them came fleetingly swift, the same way it is of Khun P when that time he accosted her at the baths.
"Really?? You say it like you've been to the place."
"No. Just something someone said...." again, Khun P's face popped up without thought.
"Someone?"
"Ahh, it's nothing. Now, walk me home and I will tell you everything. You don't need to ask permission from some senior monk, do you??" Kade is back to her usual jovial self. "So come along!" she pulled and half-dragged the reluctant monk along with her back towards the gates.....
*******************************
Ayutthaya Project Site, 25 years later
"You haven't read it, Sir," observed his loyal assistant in surprise, on noticing the still bound package on Rheungrit's desk. His boss looked up momentarily, not saying anything but giving him that slight half-smile; a clear sign that he's distracted.
In the past, the older man would have been on his back on the office couch by now, going through it, lost to the world. But this time, the usual outer protective wrapper although removed, still encased what's inside the rich, thick, silk material sewn like a bag and tied with its own string. He didn't need to guess or think it would be some other unusual artifact, because for every one found it would be in the same fashion - wrapped in an identically shaped bag but of a different beautiful hue and colour.
His fingers touched the silk lightly, reverently, as he would any of the antiques they found, but somehow there's always something more about these ones which fascinates him. It has a lot to do with how he's seen its discoveries gave that soft-spoken employer of his a certain purpose, a sort of suppressed, emotional joy each time they found it. As if he lived only for finding one to the next .....
"Sir?" he asked again.
"I wanted to. Seeing how she is these last few days, I said I'll show her ahead of its time. But she asked for one of the previous ones. And she asked if that bothered me. Of course I said no."
"She was right to ask. I've seen you, after this or that..... She knows you more than you know yourself. So which was it?"
"The one that makes her happy. I mean, all these made them happy, but they both love the entries from that year most of all."
Looking at the gentle serenity reflected in Rheungrit's quiet face, the assistant had to ask, "And what about you, Sir?"
"What do you think?"
"I've worked for you for over 20 years now, Sir. I've seen your moments. I wished you had more ....."
"It is enough. More than I could ever hope to be ..... after that tragic night," and he meant every word of it. He blinked, keeping what he felt at bay. Other people have all sorts of happiness; this is his.
"And to think that a single life could have this much power. I hope she knows."
"She does. If you had met her, you would know I speak the truth. She must have prayed this much for me, to get this far. Where we both once dreamt that we will be."
Rheungrit lifted his attention from the notes he's been writing, finding the gift wrapped box which suddenly appeared next to him on the table; picking it up. He studied it for a bit, as he would with everything he found on his digs; but this time to give him a few seconds of composure. He didn't want this cheerful, attentive younger man, the description somewhat reminiscent of the 16th century Joi whom he's read of so much, alarmed on seeing his boss about to cry. He swallowed his tears down, took a deep breath....
"Happy birthday, Sir. From myself and the gang at our Bangkok office!"
"Oh, you people! I'm an old man. But thank you."
"50 isn't old, Sir. Everyone loves you. We know it'll never measure up to that treasure which you always receive, but we try. It's also to thank you for our latest award; wouldn't have achieved that recognition if not for you leading the team. We've received so many! But this ..... it is the best! We've put Thailand on the map again. A fresh everything."
"Ahh, that. Yes, yes, we did good. You've all worked so hard..... Hey, thanks. For this," Rheungrit had opened up the box and putting the watch on. "And tell that to everyone for me, please? Ask them to pick someplace nice! When we get back to town, let's go for a proper meal to celebrate this old man," he finally laughed.
"Okay, Sir!"
"And tell them I must be paying them too much! This is an expensive piece of work!!" Rheungrit's pleasure at his new present belies the firm tone in his voice. As he held it up this way and that, enjoying the beauty and weight of it on his wrist, his 21st century Joi chuckled his way out.
Rheungrit unwrapped the latest journal they found with care. His birthday present from someone divided from him by time. He's found it himself, as always, hidden in the hollow recess of the wall behind the prayer hall of the Wat Mongkhon Bophit.
"It's one of the first temples I went to when I arrived Ayutthaya, Rheungrit!" she had written in one of the earliest journals. "I threatened P'Pin and P'Yam that day..... and they took me without too much of a fuss," she had added smugly.
He sniggered, thinking of her words. That would be very much his Kade's style; she had often threatened him over other things too. She seemed to have engineered a lot of escapades in the brief time of her arrival. Recalling this latest find, he cringed for almost missing that last loose brick! And that's for thinking himself smart and searching in another spot! But he should have known; she must have asked that trusted Joi to always pick the same place in every temple. Over the months he would be left a trail of clues, in different temples, some in ruins some still standing, timed to such perfection that often a week before the actual day he would discover what and where he needed to.
It is opportune, his position as head of the archeological department allowing him and his trusted people the freedom of going into parts of sacred places not open to others, these being those areas where the first sealed letters from her were found. He had left the monkhood a year after they discovered her first journal, for it was within its pages that he heard her words; to not forget what they were both supposed to achieve for the rich history of their country.
"Don't let what we had achieved be in vain, dear Rheung," she had written.
She had also begged in them about family, how precious the ties with loved ones.
"If I had a choice leaving mum and grandma would be a thing I would never do. Whereas you are the only son ...... I love my family....." her notes had trailed off. In a way she's telling him not to abandon his at the expense of loving her, she never wanted that. She felt burdened in having affected everyone in ways she didn't know.
Her scattered notes, the journals, are postcards from the past really, from a love who's gone to an unreachable place. It made him think of those messages in a bottle, thrown into the sea with all the hope of the writer that it reaches its destination. He considers himself lucky - because hers has always found a way to get to him.
He'll take a peek first now, and later, bring it to them to share her stories. It is his usual practice on his birthday, the closeness that he could ever have of Kadesurang is being with her family.
Last evening, he was back again at Khun Seepang's home, visiting her and her mother. Grandma had grown ever more fragile these past years, at times not getting up from her bed. There were past incidents when they thought they would lose her, but it is as if she too strived to hang on for his every birthday ...... when a new journal would mysteriously makes its appearance - and another year of Kadesurang's life in 16th century Ayutthaya is told in detail.
*********************************
"No. We wait till tomorrow. It's tradition," was her quick reply at his suggestion if she wished to read his birthday gift then. Grandma's voice was feeble, but sure.
"Alright, Grandma," he had said, placating her.
"Did you bring the other one, though?"
"Yes. Want me to read it now?"
"In a moment. I wanted to tell you I've been thinking of her all night, I was hoping to see her again just in that dream but I didn't, she didn't come," said Grandma sadly.
"She's been saying that all day, wanting to see Kade again. Knowing it's something we can't have at will," Seepang whispered this to Rheungrit as she sat aside, watching over her mother with concern.
"Grandma ...." he held the old lady's hand in his own, soothing her, "We've all agreed that was a special one, Grandma. Somehow she was given a window to get to us; somehow we managed to have all of us together in this very living room. Even P'Eang got to hug her. All of us in the same clear dream. She came to be with us who loves her the most."
"She didn't want to leave, Mum, you know that," said Seepang.
"She thought it's an everyday normal day, that she's back for real. Singing that wild melody about the moon with Eang in the middle of the day, dancing this floor up and down. She can't get enough of the phone, but she didn't know who to call... Making me cook all those dishes.... Only.... only we knew what's happened to her. But we took what we were given; the three of us. I was satisfied for that one day.... a day that will have to sustain the rest of my entire life. It is better than nothing."
"But none of us, not even you Grandma," chides Rheung gently, "was ready to tell her anything. We were even ready to wake up without her, knowing it's a dream. And that's what happened."
A silent tear streamed slowly down Grandma's face, but she nodded, accepting. She couldn't believe it either, the power of that dream.
"All these years I've been grateful for that too," she finally agreed. "She's somehow given the grace to find a final happy time with us; it also allowed me to finally say my farewells to her in my heart. But we made the most of that moment, didn't we? She returned to us a different look, a beautiful dress, but Kade is ever Kade..... my grandchild." Grandma grew reflective, her eyes wet.
"But she did visited again, Khun Seepang, Grandma..... she wrote that. Her usual curiosity, and with that moon mantra of all things! Only, we didn't know, we couldn't see her. She knew it then - what's happened. That wise man Arjaan Chieprakao told her the whole story. It made me grateful it stopped hurting her, to be here or there. It made her go on in that life."
"She saw Khun P in you, my child. A part of you is there with her, don't forget that," said Seepang. "You aren't truly separated in that sense."
"Somehow I find that I can live now. Not the way I was before..... but at least ..... " Rheungrit's eyes glittered. No matter what, it will always be painful.
"Ahh.... he's jealous of you, and you're jealous of him...." Grandma's chuckling lightens the moment, stopping the train of his sombre thoughts. Rheungrit smiled, embarrassed.
"What's important she's found a way to fit into that life. I miss her but if it's her destiny we must accept it and be happy, send her our prayers. It is the only way she can exist, and for us to live too. Parallel lives, Rheungrit, but no less the loving."
"You know her well, Rheung. She thinks of you, I don't need to tell you that, do I? Just look at this effort, it is for you..... as much as we think it is for me and Mum," Seepang's voice is gentle, consoling. "When Khun P' gave her his journal, it made her decide to write her own.... and these others she left .... it's especially for you."
Rheungrit nods, he's never doubted that. About Kade's love, and her continued watch over him from that far away.
"But till today I don't understand it, how.....??" Grandma is puzzled as usual, although they've spoken of it often.
"Magic, Grandma. A spiritual mystery," said Rheung. "Even we can't understand how I can only find these notes and journals at a certain time; even those close confidants the learned monks I've talked to can't understand it. Is her time truly parallel to ours? .... I don't know...."
"Rheung ...."
"Hmmn? Yes, Khun Seepang?"
"Can you read to us now? Grandma would like that," said Seepang, wanting to keep her mother on a high; it's been days she's been able to smile this smile - or spoken as much.
"I want you to start from her 2nd journal, the first page where she wished your birthday," Grandma became even more cheerful.
"I have it here, Grandma," said Rheung.
******************************
KADESURANG - aka KHUN YING VISUT SAKORN
JOURNAL # 2
Entry # 1
Ayutthaya , Klung District
(Date) December 1688....
Ai Rheung,
Happy Birthday!!
What do you think of my new title huh? Do I sound pompous? Ahh - but no matter! I am the same old Kadesurang that you know. And I promise that I will never change.....
I hope you are still blowing out your birthday cake at my house like you used to do. You will come to have the lunch Mom and P'Eang made .... but best of all I enjoyed those big cakes which I chose. Oh, how I miss creamy butter cakes, Rheung!! And with that thick frosting which I liked. Sadly, you can't find butter in 16th Century Ayutthaya so I can't bake anything that will taste like a cake even if I wanted to. But I have a friend, Mae Malee, she makes delicious Thai desserts.
We have read about this woman, Rheung, please don't say you forgot! You are always forgetting things! Don't think that you're a monk now I will stop scolding you. Even across the miles and centuries like this, 329 years to be exact, I can still scold you Rheungrit!
Oh, she's known as Thong Kip Ma in our history books. So, today, when you gulp down a big piece of that birthday cake, think of me, your poor Kadesurang. Here I am without cake, Rheung!
Could you please pass my today's big news to Mom and Grandma? Please tell them again I love them both, and always thinking of everyone there. Khun P sends his love too, and he even said hello to you!! I got the feeling he can feel big about this, because it seems he's secretly happy I'm separated from you by 300 years!
Rheung, 2 weeks ago I gave birth to our twins. I've named them Rheung and Rit, after you. What do you think? I'm sorry for not being original, and for stealing your name. Khun P is naturally jealous he's grinding his teeth at night but so far he hasn't dared to bring it up. The only thing he said is now that your entire name's all used up he's going to give our next child a totally different name.
(Rheungrit chuckled at reading this, but just as much grew solemn at her next words)
Because something nearly happened to me. Until he's saying he doesn't want to have more children. That he'll be a seahorse because the male seahorse .... ahh you know....! He even went to ask Arjaan Chieprakao if there's a chant that can let him takeover my pain of giving birth. It was so embarrassing!! Arjaan laughed so loud, it was all so silly!
Well, the thing was I had a very difficult birth and almost lost my life. I started bleeding and couldn't stop. I was so afraid for Khun P, for our two young sons. I knew what it was like growing up without a father, the sadness and loneliness of my mother. Khun P wouldn't have survived without me, Rheungrit. If I had died, I would have hurt him as much as I did you when it was my time in the present. But I am all right now, Rheungrit, so please don't you worry.
Tell Mom and Grandma and P'Eang that my babies are healthy too. But I am ashamed to say I probably am the loudest and noisiest woman to ever give birth in Ayutthaya ! I screamed so loud until the monks way down the river at the Wat Phutthaisawan must have heard me. I remember looking out the windows and seeing a whole flock of birds suddenly taking off into the skies, I feel sure that was my doing! Try giving birth at a time in this era where there isn't even a simple thing like a Panadol (simple pain reliever) and you'll know I had every right to be scared. But I made it! I have 2 beautiful boys; I just hope that with them taking your names neither will be lazy like you and sleep in class! Everyone in the house is so pleased, and so are Por Rheung and Por Rit - by their smiles I am sure they are happy with their names. We are lucky to be alive!
What I realised is life can be very fleeting but when you can hold on to it, it becomes even more precious. I hope you live your life as we would have wished it, I hope you are happy where you are. Happy Birthday and best wishes, my dearest Rheungrit.
Love from me & our family,
KADESURANG, POR DATE and our little ones POR RHEUNG and POR RIT
p.s.
I've told Khun P I'd like the men in our family from this generation onwards to have either a Rheung or a Rit in their names. Knowing him, he will make it a standing order (follow the ancestral edict or else!!) just because I said so. One day, in your time, I hope you may find a Rheung or a Rit maybe in high office, for that is who Khun P's family is - they are related to royalty; I'd like to think they would be from Khun P's line and through these blood ties you might yet get to still see a piece of me, Rheung.
You know my heart will always be where all the ruins we love are, my friend. Look for me all around Ayutthaya. Look at every stone, every rock, my gaze would have undoubtedly left an unseen mark on each one. As I had lived in my time with you, so am I here with the temples and the places which we had visited and touched. I had loved then, I am now loving them here.
As for you, I ask that you show yourself in history ..... and in another lifetime, in another love destiny, Rheungrit, I will find you.
*************** E N D ******************
I couldn't get past the monk Rheungrit without crying, so this morning I decided to find myself a somewhat cure, a spell to numb and forget. I did a “Rheungrit is finally happy” story. Well, there's varying degress of happiness of course how could he be entirely happy when he doesn't have Kadesurang? Anyway, here it is. What do you think?
THE STORY OF RHEUNGRIT
**************************
"What??!" Khun Loong and son yelled, shocking Jumpa. She almost jumped! It made her squirm under the glare of her husband's sudden angry gaze. Her heart faltered at the barely suppressed expletive about to burst forth from his lips, something that has never happened before. But his cane flew down violently.
"Twice in the night, jao ka, but we managed to bring her round. But this last time …. since dawn…." Pin started sobbing.
"You didn't think to tell us?! If you weren't asked, you wouldn't have said anything??" Por Date didn't care to suppress the panic in his tone. Pin’s head bent even lower, her shoulders shaking with her tears.
His ears still ring the vicious slash of Prik's each eager swing, his heart the crushing pain as the seconds passed in those moments. If only he'd spoken up from the start! But all his life his mother's edicts have been law in their household. His dad had given her that right, and not for the life of anyone would he allow his wife fall in grace in the face of anything, even if he was very much against her form of justice.
"Her fever came high so fast, the first time it happened she said not to tell anyone....and ....and...." Pin faltered.
"And what, E'Pin?!! Stop stuttering!" Jumpa barked her impatience. The stony stare of her beloved son brings with it the flutterings of guilt. Not the always egotistical need to have things her way, but the guilt of intentionally waiting for a slip from the girl she hated. And with yesterday being such a fortuitous opportunity; she took it. Only she didn't expect Por Date to react as he did! Her husband’s cold, accusing eyes finally caused her heart to cringe in fear. Is that disappointment in his eyes? In their son’s?
"Nang Pin! Speak up!" Date’s voice wiped off Prik’s smug smile as she sat happily near Jumpa's feet. She was satisfied to hear Mae Karakade's suffered at her hands, that she had finally fainted from the beatings. Arrogant bitch! If only she could have hit her more!
"She’s prayed for this. She’s whispering over and over, “Grandma is here”…" Pin is crying in earnest now. "My lady often cried about missing them, her mum, her grandma; either awake or in her sleep .... and now she has come."
"Please, no...." breathed Por Date. He pushed past Joi and ran to Kade's bedroom.
***********
Kadesurang pushed again at the cold swirling cloud around her, not daring to open her eyes, and was starting to feel suffocated when she suddenly felt sunshine on her face. Her body jarred from being hit against something, and she gingerly peeked ..... looking around slowly. That reddish haze seems to be drifting away, and she found herself on the ground, at the gates of the neighhourhood temple. She's in a daze, not quite believing where she is. The thoughts returned slowly.
Their gardener had often left her, and mum and grandma right at this very spot; how she liked being under the shade of the arched gateway as a kid, to her it's impressive and promises serenity. She had started her love for temples old and new from this place. Here they have prayed for her dad who had long gone, and the grandfather who had been the guiding light in her growing years. Oh how soothing it is as always, and the slow chants of the monks from that hall putting her at peace.
Kade picked herself up and giggled, suddenly cheerful, her mind clearing and with it recollections of some naughty times. She would often drool of the lunch waiting at home and nudged her mum to hurry - that dear woman would often take some serious minutes to include a distant relative or other in her prayers. Over the years she would often caught her tearing up but then she'll turn to Kade's face and those tears would turn to relief. “At least you’re here,” she would whisper. She assumed it’s because she’s the only memory of the man she had married and lost. "Oh, mum! I'm seeing you soon!" sings her happy heart.
About to turn for her home up the street, she found her steps swerving instead, a strange need to walk into the grounds. Kade glanced again at the top of the temple. A modern roofing, not the ancient golden ones of the Wat Chaiwatthanaram which she passed just days ago. And under different skies too! "I'm home!" that pleasure crossing her mind once more, "Well, near close to home as I can get!" she adds.
Her brow crinkled; she can't remember ever having to be here on her own before. And the other thing too - her back isn't hurting anymore. Neither is the blinding pain in her spine that had followed along with that feverish ache which had beset her since ..... what happened? She squeezed her eyes shut; she wanted to forget. Growing up in a loving family where even a gentle slap on the hand was given in jest; under the violence of that whip she felt like she was being murdered. Her bones felt like it would crack! So cruel.... Prik was so cruel..... and Khun Mae… they’re all cruel….
A group passing by her chuckled. Kade made a face, she pouted - they were laughing at her! Is it because she's so fat? But she's used to that. Because some people are just so rude!
"Hello??" Kade challenged their amused looks with an accusing stare of her own.
She looked down. "Nothing different....P'Yam put this on me.... Oh!" her thoughts stilled.
She's not fat - she's not fat anymore for a long time now. She's slim and beautiful in the lovely outfit which she wore to the market with Khun P. Something felt hollow inside, her eyes warming. She suddenly saw him again, no matter how she tried to shut him out. He had tried to save her; she remembered that.
"Is that another dream? How am I here?" she whispered, her steps slowing.
Kade allowed herself memories of things which were pushed to the back of her mind. She had to, to survive in a new world where mum and grandma wasn't there. She had passed out from the shocking pain of being in that overturned car with Rheungrit to awake in a beautiful field where she met Mae Karakade, and here she is again returned to her hometown after another agonising bleeding episode ….
“Ahh, I get it! Pain means gain,” she clicked her fingers, coming to a sensible explanation. “Which means I’m back for good.”
Up ahead and crossing her path is a lone figure of one of the monks, moving in her same direction towards the entrance of the temple. But it was something about him which kept her eyes trained; he walked the gait of someone familiar. Kade stood watching for a while, that forlorn walk and pace is doing something sad to her heart. The longer she observed, the more it is she can't tear her eyes away. Apart from the shaved head and robes, it's impossible but seems to be like that someone she's known and loved for years.
"Height's the same, shoulders too ...." Kade followed in his wake, drinking in everything about him, while her mind is quick to deny, "It can't be.... it can't be!"
But if she's changed, why can't he?
"Ei Rheung! Rheung! Rheungrit!" she called out suddenly; she couldn't help herself. While hanging on to every hope that she's wrong.
She thought her voice went with the winds because he kept on walking. She called once more and he slowed in his steps - he's heard her. The monk slowly turned. And time, somehow, stopped.
Across that vast expanse of space, both Kadesurang and the monk silently studied each other, eyes running across each other's familiar features, then stilled and hold. In silence too, they both choked up and started crying. The girl in front of him is without her glasses, that thick mane of shoulder length hair now straightened to an elegant fall down her back and to her waist, but to the monk she is his Kadesurang as she ever was, and is. Rheungrit dropped the alms bowl of rice he was holding, the grains spilling around his feet but he stepped on them without thought and headed for her. They fell to their knees, hugging each other and sobbing as if their hearts is being ripped apart. He forgot what he is now, what he shouldn't do. His Kadesurang is back!
It took a long while for their tears to be spent, and much longer too before they can begin to smile or speak. They were uncaring sitting on the ground in the dust in the middle of the driveway, somehow the entire place seems magically cleared of others; even the chants of the monks have faded away. It felt as if they're the only two people left in the world.
"You've always been vain, having all those bits of facial hair when it's not allowed in school, but now you've even shaved your head!" she complained.
"And you - since when did you ever dressed this way? And this skirt, did you steal it from the Professor's class? You've been in love with it like anything... And, please don't be mad, I'm not saying you're chubby but seriously Kade - you've lost weight!"
"I know! I'm surprised too. I woke up this way, Rheung. But it’s a long story....long story. I don't want to talk about that first. I want to go home!"
They both lapsed into silence; too many things to ask and where to start. The overwhelming happiness seems to outweigh everything else, a joy close to bursting.
"Kade, is this a dream?"
"No, I'm here for real. But if it is, I don't want to wake up. But we're both here Rheung!! How could it be a dream??" she smacked his arm. She got hold a big piece of his flesh between her fingers and pinched it! He gave the most horrible howl. And rubbing that spot real fast!
"See? It's not a dream? I've pinched myself too!" she said excitedly. "I've missed you, Rheung."
"Me, too. I've missed you so much.... I can't take it without you, Kade."
"Is this why you've gone monk?"
Rheungkit gave an embarrassed, slight nod. "Whereas you have turned into a hot babe," he joked.
Their quick laughter then stopped just as suddenly; Kade’s eyes slowly filling, sparkling with tears. “You love me that much?” she whispered so softly, in wonder. Her heart grew tight, the smile she gave is bittersweet. "You're so selfish, you couldn't have ordained for any other reason."
"Yes. Silly huh? I waited too long to tell you,” he admitted.
And just as immediately he heard the voice of clarity in his head, “And too late." He frowned at that, he frowned at her. His Kade is so alive.
But she is here now, for whatever reason he will take this ..… And she is saying, "I love you, too. I love you, Rheungrit."
Slowly, that special sweet little smile of his which always softened her made its appearance. Her throat gripped at that feeling; she never thought to ever see it again. The way she always caught him looking whenever they were side by side in class and how she would know when he's been staring at her too long. Rheungrit's eyes got misty with the same choked up thoughts. This miracle of miracles, nothing could ever be explained. He wants to see what the next moments would bring.
For the first time in so long, he rubbed his head self consciously, embarrassed at Kadesurang seeing him this way. He had done merit once as a teenager, long before he ever met her but to be ordained as he did he's stopped thinking of life completely. It's as if only his body is walking; the soul inside of it has long gone. The soul who left along with her on the night of the accident.
"I've missed you, missed Mom, Grandma..... Twice today she held on to my hand, but each time she pushed me away.... she can't take me, she said. I kept holding on, clutching her sleeve, her waist but something always separated us. But now I'm here, Rheung, please hold on to me; please don't ever let me go. I want to see my family," Kade started crying again. She reached out to the trailing end of his robe, picking it up and clutching it tight with her fingers.
Rheungrit sat facing her, a knee up, and trying to be calm for the both of them. All these months he had prayed for her and prayed for also the impossible, the chance to see her again. His bleeding heart had cried until it all became empty, helpless. But now that she's here the pain of knowing what will inevitably happen would be far worse. Kade's not going to stay; she can't. He knows this. She already has a destiny. Wherever that may be, whatever that will be; but in this life and in this lifetime where he wants her badly to stay, that can never be.
"Kade, listen to me. What I am now ..... Kade, do you know why? Maybe you don't, how could you have known after .... but it's my fault, the accident. I had wished for one more day, I had wished for many days so I could be with you but we don't often get what we wished for."
"NO! You listen! It's not your fault; because I’m fine – as you can see. I only landed in another place for a while but now I’m back. I’m not going anywhere!"
"Kade....."
"Now don't interrupt me.... But Rheung, you won't believe where I was!! Ayutthaya, Rheung. AYUTTHAYA!! I saw everything. Beyond our wildest dreams!”
"Really? How do you know it's that and not some other fantasy place?"
"Fantasy place? Like what?? The Himmaphan Forest?" she laughed hysterically, what P'Pin and P'Yam called her horse laughter. The thoughts of them came fleetingly swift, the same way it is of Khun P when that time he accosted her at the baths.
"Really?? You say it like you've been to the place."
"No. Just something someone said...." again, Khun P's face popped up without thought.
"Someone?"
"Ahh, it's nothing. Now, walk me home and I will tell you everything. You don't need to ask permission from some senior monk, do you??" Kade is back to her usual jovial self. "So come along!" she pulled and half-dragged the reluctant monk along with her back towards the gates.....
*******************************
Ayutthaya Project Site, 25 years later
"You haven't read it, Sir," observed his loyal assistant in surprise, on noticing the still bound package on Rheungrit's desk. His boss looked up momentarily, not saying anything but giving him that slight half-smile; a clear sign that he's distracted.
In the past, the older man would have been on his back on the office couch by now, going through it, lost to the world. But this time, the usual outer protective wrapper although removed, still encased what's inside the rich, thick, silk material sewn like a bag and tied with its own string. He didn't need to guess or think it would be some other unusual artifact, because for every one found it would be in the same fashion - wrapped in an identically shaped bag but of a different beautiful hue and colour.
His fingers touched the silk lightly, reverently, as he would any of the antiques they found, but somehow there's always something more about these ones which fascinates him. It has a lot to do with how he's seen its discoveries gave that soft-spoken employer of his a certain purpose, a sort of suppressed, emotional joy each time they found it. As if he lived only for finding one to the next .....
"Sir?" he asked again.
"I wanted to. Seeing how she is these last few days, I said I'll show her ahead of its time. But she asked for one of the previous ones. And she asked if that bothered me. Of course I said no."
"She was right to ask. I've seen you, after this or that..... She knows you more than you know yourself. So which was it?"
"The one that makes her happy. I mean, all these made them happy, but they both love the entries from that year most of all."
Looking at the gentle serenity reflected in Rheungrit's quiet face, the assistant had to ask, "And what about you, Sir?"
"What do you think?"
"I've worked for you for over 20 years now, Sir. I've seen your moments. I wished you had more ....."
"It is enough. More than I could ever hope to be ..... after that tragic night," and he meant every word of it. He blinked, keeping what he felt at bay. Other people have all sorts of happiness; this is his.
"And to think that a single life could have this much power. I hope she knows."
"She does. If you had met her, you would know I speak the truth. She must have prayed this much for me, to get this far. Where we both once dreamt that we will be."
Rheungrit lifted his attention from the notes he's been writing, finding the gift wrapped box which suddenly appeared next to him on the table; picking it up. He studied it for a bit, as he would with everything he found on his digs; but this time to give him a few seconds of composure. He didn't want this cheerful, attentive younger man, the description somewhat reminiscent of the 16th century Joi whom he's read of so much, alarmed on seeing his boss about to cry. He swallowed his tears down, took a deep breath....
"Happy birthday, Sir. From myself and the gang at our Bangkok office!"
"Oh, you people! I'm an old man. But thank you."
"50 isn't old, Sir. Everyone loves you. We know it'll never measure up to that treasure which you always receive, but we try. It's also to thank you for our latest award; wouldn't have achieved that recognition if not for you leading the team. We've received so many! But this ..... it is the best! We've put Thailand on the map again. A fresh everything."
"Ahh, that. Yes, yes, we did good. You've all worked so hard..... Hey, thanks. For this," Rheungrit had opened up the box and putting the watch on. "And tell that to everyone for me, please? Ask them to pick someplace nice! When we get back to town, let's go for a proper meal to celebrate this old man," he finally laughed.
"Okay, Sir!"
"And tell them I must be paying them too much! This is an expensive piece of work!!" Rheungrit's pleasure at his new present belies the firm tone in his voice. As he held it up this way and that, enjoying the beauty and weight of it on his wrist, his 21st century Joi chuckled his way out.
Rheungrit unwrapped the latest journal they found with care. His birthday present from someone divided from him by time. He's found it himself, as always, hidden in the hollow recess of the wall behind the prayer hall of the Wat Mongkhon Bophit.
"It's one of the first temples I went to when I arrived Ayutthaya, Rheungrit!" she had written in one of the earliest journals. "I threatened P'Pin and P'Yam that day..... and they took me without too much of a fuss," she had added smugly.
He sniggered, thinking of her words. That would be very much his Kade's style; she had often threatened him over other things too. She seemed to have engineered a lot of escapades in the brief time of her arrival. Recalling this latest find, he cringed for almost missing that last loose brick! And that's for thinking himself smart and searching in another spot! But he should have known; she must have asked that trusted Joi to always pick the same place in every temple. Over the months he would be left a trail of clues, in different temples, some in ruins some still standing, timed to such perfection that often a week before the actual day he would discover what and where he needed to.
It is opportune, his position as head of the archeological department allowing him and his trusted people the freedom of going into parts of sacred places not open to others, these being those areas where the first sealed letters from her were found. He had left the monkhood a year after they discovered her first journal, for it was within its pages that he heard her words; to not forget what they were both supposed to achieve for the rich history of their country.
"Don't let what we had achieved be in vain, dear Rheung," she had written.
She had also begged in them about family, how precious the ties with loved ones.
"If I had a choice leaving mum and grandma would be a thing I would never do. Whereas you are the only son ...... I love my family....." her notes had trailed off. In a way she's telling him not to abandon his at the expense of loving her, she never wanted that. She felt burdened in having affected everyone in ways she didn't know.
Her scattered notes, the journals, are postcards from the past really, from a love who's gone to an unreachable place. It made him think of those messages in a bottle, thrown into the sea with all the hope of the writer that it reaches its destination. He considers himself lucky - because hers has always found a way to get to him.
He'll take a peek first now, and later, bring it to them to share her stories. It is his usual practice on his birthday, the closeness that he could ever have of Kadesurang is being with her family.
Last evening, he was back again at Khun Seepang's home, visiting her and her mother. Grandma had grown ever more fragile these past years, at times not getting up from her bed. There were past incidents when they thought they would lose her, but it is as if she too strived to hang on for his every birthday ...... when a new journal would mysteriously makes its appearance - and another year of Kadesurang's life in 16th century Ayutthaya is told in detail.
*********************************
"No. We wait till tomorrow. It's tradition," was her quick reply at his suggestion if she wished to read his birthday gift then. Grandma's voice was feeble, but sure.
"Alright, Grandma," he had said, placating her.
"Did you bring the other one, though?"
"Yes. Want me to read it now?"
"In a moment. I wanted to tell you I've been thinking of her all night, I was hoping to see her again just in that dream but I didn't, she didn't come," said Grandma sadly.
"She's been saying that all day, wanting to see Kade again. Knowing it's something we can't have at will," Seepang whispered this to Rheungrit as she sat aside, watching over her mother with concern.
"Grandma ...." he held the old lady's hand in his own, soothing her, "We've all agreed that was a special one, Grandma. Somehow she was given a window to get to us; somehow we managed to have all of us together in this very living room. Even P'Eang got to hug her. All of us in the same clear dream. She came to be with us who loves her the most."
"She didn't want to leave, Mum, you know that," said Seepang.
"She thought it's an everyday normal day, that she's back for real. Singing that wild melody about the moon with Eang in the middle of the day, dancing this floor up and down. She can't get enough of the phone, but she didn't know who to call... Making me cook all those dishes.... Only.... only we knew what's happened to her. But we took what we were given; the three of us. I was satisfied for that one day.... a day that will have to sustain the rest of my entire life. It is better than nothing."
"But none of us, not even you Grandma," chides Rheung gently, "was ready to tell her anything. We were even ready to wake up without her, knowing it's a dream. And that's what happened."
A silent tear streamed slowly down Grandma's face, but she nodded, accepting. She couldn't believe it either, the power of that dream.
"All these years I've been grateful for that too," she finally agreed. "She's somehow given the grace to find a final happy time with us; it also allowed me to finally say my farewells to her in my heart. But we made the most of that moment, didn't we? She returned to us a different look, a beautiful dress, but Kade is ever Kade..... my grandchild." Grandma grew reflective, her eyes wet.
"But she did visited again, Khun Seepang, Grandma..... she wrote that. Her usual curiosity, and with that moon mantra of all things! Only, we didn't know, we couldn't see her. She knew it then - what's happened. That wise man Arjaan Chieprakao told her the whole story. It made me grateful it stopped hurting her, to be here or there. It made her go on in that life."
"She saw Khun P in you, my child. A part of you is there with her, don't forget that," said Seepang. "You aren't truly separated in that sense."
"Somehow I find that I can live now. Not the way I was before..... but at least ..... " Rheungrit's eyes glittered. No matter what, it will always be painful.
"Ahh.... he's jealous of you, and you're jealous of him...." Grandma's chuckling lightens the moment, stopping the train of his sombre thoughts. Rheungrit smiled, embarrassed.
"What's important she's found a way to fit into that life. I miss her but if it's her destiny we must accept it and be happy, send her our prayers. It is the only way she can exist, and for us to live too. Parallel lives, Rheungrit, but no less the loving."
"You know her well, Rheung. She thinks of you, I don't need to tell you that, do I? Just look at this effort, it is for you..... as much as we think it is for me and Mum," Seepang's voice is gentle, consoling. "When Khun P' gave her his journal, it made her decide to write her own.... and these others she left .... it's especially for you."
Rheungrit nods, he's never doubted that. About Kade's love, and her continued watch over him from that far away.
"But till today I don't understand it, how.....??" Grandma is puzzled as usual, although they've spoken of it often.
"Magic, Grandma. A spiritual mystery," said Rheung. "Even we can't understand how I can only find these notes and journals at a certain time; even those close confidants the learned monks I've talked to can't understand it. Is her time truly parallel to ours? .... I don't know...."
"Rheung ...."
"Hmmn? Yes, Khun Seepang?"
"Can you read to us now? Grandma would like that," said Seepang, wanting to keep her mother on a high; it's been days she's been able to smile this smile - or spoken as much.
"I want you to start from her 2nd journal, the first page where she wished your birthday," Grandma became even more cheerful.
"I have it here, Grandma," said Rheung.
******************************
KADESURANG - aka KHUN YING VISUT SAKORN
JOURNAL # 2
Entry # 1
Ayutthaya , Klung District
(Date) December 1688....
Ai Rheung,
Happy Birthday!!
What do you think of my new title huh? Do I sound pompous? Ahh - but no matter! I am the same old Kadesurang that you know. And I promise that I will never change.....
I hope you are still blowing out your birthday cake at my house like you used to do. You will come to have the lunch Mom and P'Eang made .... but best of all I enjoyed those big cakes which I chose. Oh, how I miss creamy butter cakes, Rheung!! And with that thick frosting which I liked. Sadly, you can't find butter in 16th Century Ayutthaya so I can't bake anything that will taste like a cake even if I wanted to. But I have a friend, Mae Malee, she makes delicious Thai desserts.
We have read about this woman, Rheung, please don't say you forgot! You are always forgetting things! Don't think that you're a monk now I will stop scolding you. Even across the miles and centuries like this, 329 years to be exact, I can still scold you Rheungrit!
Oh, she's known as Thong Kip Ma in our history books. So, today, when you gulp down a big piece of that birthday cake, think of me, your poor Kadesurang. Here I am without cake, Rheung!
Could you please pass my today's big news to Mom and Grandma? Please tell them again I love them both, and always thinking of everyone there. Khun P sends his love too, and he even said hello to you!! I got the feeling he can feel big about this, because it seems he's secretly happy I'm separated from you by 300 years!
Rheung, 2 weeks ago I gave birth to our twins. I've named them Rheung and Rit, after you. What do you think? I'm sorry for not being original, and for stealing your name. Khun P is naturally jealous he's grinding his teeth at night but so far he hasn't dared to bring it up. The only thing he said is now that your entire name's all used up he's going to give our next child a totally different name.
(Rheungrit chuckled at reading this, but just as much grew solemn at her next words)
Because something nearly happened to me. Until he's saying he doesn't want to have more children. That he'll be a seahorse because the male seahorse .... ahh you know....! He even went to ask Arjaan Chieprakao if there's a chant that can let him takeover my pain of giving birth. It was so embarrassing!! Arjaan laughed so loud, it was all so silly!
Well, the thing was I had a very difficult birth and almost lost my life. I started bleeding and couldn't stop. I was so afraid for Khun P, for our two young sons. I knew what it was like growing up without a father, the sadness and loneliness of my mother. Khun P wouldn't have survived without me, Rheungrit. If I had died, I would have hurt him as much as I did you when it was my time in the present. But I am all right now, Rheungrit, so please don't you worry.
Tell Mom and Grandma and P'Eang that my babies are healthy too. But I am ashamed to say I probably am the loudest and noisiest woman to ever give birth in Ayutthaya ! I screamed so loud until the monks way down the river at the Wat Phutthaisawan must have heard me. I remember looking out the windows and seeing a whole flock of birds suddenly taking off into the skies, I feel sure that was my doing! Try giving birth at a time in this era where there isn't even a simple thing like a Panadol (simple pain reliever) and you'll know I had every right to be scared. But I made it! I have 2 beautiful boys; I just hope that with them taking your names neither will be lazy like you and sleep in class! Everyone in the house is so pleased, and so are Por Rheung and Por Rit - by their smiles I am sure they are happy with their names. We are lucky to be alive!
What I realised is life can be very fleeting but when you can hold on to it, it becomes even more precious. I hope you live your life as we would have wished it, I hope you are happy where you are. Happy Birthday and best wishes, my dearest Rheungrit.
Love from me & our family,
KADESURANG, POR DATE and our little ones POR RHEUNG and POR RIT
p.s.
I've told Khun P I'd like the men in our family from this generation onwards to have either a Rheung or a Rit in their names. Knowing him, he will make it a standing order (follow the ancestral edict or else!!) just because I said so. One day, in your time, I hope you may find a Rheung or a Rit maybe in high office, for that is who Khun P's family is - they are related to royalty; I'd like to think they would be from Khun P's line and through these blood ties you might yet get to still see a piece of me, Rheung.
You know my heart will always be where all the ruins we love are, my friend. Look for me all around Ayutthaya. Look at every stone, every rock, my gaze would have undoubtedly left an unseen mark on each one. As I had lived in my time with you, so am I here with the temples and the places which we had visited and touched. I had loved then, I am now loving them here.
As for you, I ask that you show yourself in history ..... and in another lifetime, in another love destiny, Rheungrit, I will find you.
*************** E N D ******************
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Not watching it right now but maybe later when it finish and after I read reviews on it lol. Honestly I'm not a fan of NY together but a descent fan apart lol. I've only seen GRGR and was hooked on the second couple lol.Why not LR?
Btw @milquety can you translate this? All I see is 880 lol. Is it a good thing?
https://www.instagram.com/p/BiOQeV-DwT5/
milquety
和泡泡一样佛系的迷妹
Just (finally) finished Pope Rak after months of watching it (not that it's bad but I never really had much time! lol). And Pawornruj. And PYLMW on the side, with everything else which are some lakorn and some not. Too much to handle at once, but I can't stop starting on new things haha.What are you guys watching now?
I am trying Nueng Dao for Taew and JJ... then I realized Weir's lakorn is on air.... LR is getting SO MUCh promotion and I might just tune in to see what's up.
I pop in and out of those threads but I am just hanging out here.