❤️ Various ET News

spanky

sarNie OldFart
I don't feel the need to get marry and have kids. I want to travel.

I understand mint. I took care of my younger sibling and nieces. Shit 1 of my niece wanted her way and got me in trouble with DCF and I was investigated. I did everything for them and they are so ungrateful.

Many kids i see are a major spoiled brats ....even in their 30s. Live with their parents and don't do much.

I ironically work with behavioral mental health. Mostly young kids. I enjoy the psychology aspect of it. But I wouldn't want kids....at least with that i get to go home and relax ......

I hear many kids always say....that they are only happy when they get their way and that they hate me hahaha....i told the child ....he doesn't have to like me but follow the directions and do as I say
 

lakornwatcher

sarNie Adult
Especially ones with dementia it's difficult. Kids in the US doesn't matter of origin they are more leaning towards thinking parents are a burden. If you take care of an elderly parents with dementia is an around the clock care because they are basically like little kids. And if you have your own family with kids and a full time job it is very hard even though your intentions are good in wanting to take care of them. It will get overwhelming without help.
My mom doesn't have dementia but she's been through alot to where her health just keeps getting worse and she no longer can take care of herself. She can still get up a little and walk wobbly but needs assistance all the time. I'm able to take care of my mom right now but i can't imagine later on in life whether I can take care of her or not if she can't get up at all. I don't ever want to put her in a care home bc I don't trust those places but I'm afraid one day I might have to bc I'm the only child and I don't have any other support. I really feel for the people that are taking care of the elderly. It's a tough job.

My mom always wanted me to have kids bc she said if you don't have any kids, nobody will take care of you when you get old. I told my mom, not all kids will take care of their parents but she still insist on wanting me to have kids.
 

Moo_the_best_cow

sarNie Juvenile
Have to enjoy BigM while he’s there and he’s already in his early thirties lol
Yup and the way they won't pair him up with A listers yikes.. BigM and Sammy are my favorites in ch7 but honestly I can see them leaving at some point. Just hope they're gonna create some interesting pairings before more people leave, I'm still upset that I didn't get to see Bow and Kem pair up... I think Weir, Mik, Kem and Mookda are the ones that aren't going anywhere else bc their positions are secure in ch7.
 

kjc1994

sarNie Oldmaid
Yup and the way they won't pair him up with A listers yikes.. BigM and Sammy are my favorites in ch7 but honestly I can see them leaving at some point. Just hope they're gonna create some interesting pairings before more people leave, I'm still upset that I didn't get to see Bow and Kem pair up... I think Weir, Mik, Kem and Mookda are the ones that aren't going anywhere else bc their positions are secure in ch7.
Yep, I agree. They always give BigM neks who are either new or aren’t as popular. I mean he has had a few good ones but honestly everyone else was either new or sometimes play supporting. And I agree about those four. They are the only ones who get pretty good lakorns and pairings. I even question how long Min will stay with them.
 

Moo_the_best_cow

sarNie Juvenile
My mom doesn't have dementia but she's been through alot to where her health just keeps getting worse and she no longer can take care of herself. She can still get up a little and walk wobbly but needs assistance all the time. I'm able to take care of my mom right now but i can't imagine later on in life whether I can take care of her or not if she can't get up at all. I don't ever want to put her in a care home bc I don't trust those places but I'm afraid one day I might have to bc I'm the only child and I don't have any other support. I really feel for the people that are taking care of the elderly. It's a tough job.

My mom always wanted me to have kids bc she said if you don't have any kids, nobody will take care of you when you get old. I told my mom, not all kids will take care of their parents but she still insist on wanting me to have kids.
I'm so sorry I really hope she gets better soon. I wish you lots of strength to keep taking care of your mom and all the best for you guys :icon12:
I think I'm younger than most of you here so I don't really have a clear vision of the future as you guys. I'm honestly scared AF to be in a relationship, let alone start a family and have kids bc I have to admit I'm quite a messed up person and I'm not ready for that commitment. And looking at my parents' marriage already scares me, I'm sick of their fights and my dad's stubbornness. My family isn't even supportive of me pursuing my profession so I can't imagine how they're gonna react to me not wanting to have a family... Especially in Asian countries, it's just socially unacceptable... I'm truly curious how you guys deal with that kind of family pressure. I'm sorry if I sound too negative and I'm aware my perspective may change when I get older but for now, I just wanna hear some experience of my older sisters here hehe
 

x0unerthanlater

`my dragon's blood is blue`
I'm caring for both my parents and younger brother who needs supervising. I've been doing it for the past 8-10 years now. It was very hard at first because all the responsibilities suddenly fell unto me. I'm the only girl in the family and when I was younger I always thought that meant I'd be moving out upon marriage. Well, I don't think I want to be married in all honesty.
At this age, I now understand what it means to care for elderly parents. It's exactly like having kids. Minus the diapers and feeding part. (I'm sure eventually, it'll come to that) It could be mentally exhausting some days and on others, it's comforting. I think about all the ppl who have parents that neglect them or the fact that some don't have parents and it makes me feel like I need to appreciate mines more for never leaving me.
It was hard in the beginning because they have their own strict traditions and guidelines. It took time to break down those barriers and set up new perspectives. The upside? I don't pay rent*. The downside? STRESS x100! You win some, you lose some. That's how I see it.
*p.s. I pay for all other expenses I incur myself. Car repairs, insurance, gas, food (shared) etc. I save 80% most of the time though. I literally don't shop for much outside from necessities.

Advice to ppl in their 20s, don't waste time on anything that gives you red flags. ie. jerky dudes and financial scams! Never think a relationship = happiness. Trust me when I say you got time to pick and choose! Enjoy other things while you're young! Like no monthly maintenance fees for your bank acc! Lol
 

spanky

sarNie OldFart
I grew up taking care of my parents (translating...going to doc appt with them...) took care of my lil brother ....like a thai lakorn....a kid taking care of another kid....then my nieces

Agree with @x0unerthanlater


My advice is to pursue your dream and travel when you can....unless you're ready ...don't do it...do what makes your heart beats faster....


Learn to live for yourself....took me forever to get to that point....hence....i still take care of others for my occupation....but at least with that...i do enjoy it...pay decent and get to go home to my peace....don't be afraid to be alone...date yourself....love yourself like your like depends on it.... (great read as well)
 

byebye

sarNie OldFart
My mom doesn't have dementia but she's been through alot to where her health just keeps getting worse and she no longer can take care of herself. She can still get up a little and walk wobbly but needs assistance all the time. I'm able to take care of my mom right now but i can't imagine later on in life whether I can take care of her or not if she can't get up at all. I don't ever want to put her in a care home bc I don't trust those places but I'm afraid one day I might have to bc I'm the only child and I don't have any other support. I really feel for the people that are taking care of the elderly. It's a tough job.

My mom always wanted me to have kids bc she said if you don't have any kids, nobody will take care of you when you get old. I told my mom, not all kids will take care of their parents but she still insist on wanting me to have kids.
My mom has dementia and it's hard. I would tell her something and by the time I start another topic she doesn't remember what I've said. She'll tell me a story 5 times in about a 15 minutes span. But people with dementia/alzhimeir the side effect of it is them getting angry and mean (and that's a challenge to deal with on top of them not remembering) I tend to listened to her talk even if she repeats it 20 times because I know she's lonely and need someone just to talk to. My dad has alzhimeir towards the end of his life. It was to an extent where he doesn't remember my name and if I'm his daughter. It was painful to see.

Sometimes, I pondered how parents can take care of 5-6 kids and as kids we can't take care of our parents. I've been to nursing homes and it's sad to see the lonely older folks.
 

maimyang

keep on keepin’ on. ✨
When I become old, I wouldn’t mind living in a nursing home or assisted living. Unless I was being abused. I’ve already lived my life, so I’d let my children live theirs without having to care for me so much. Of course, if they asked me to, I would happily, but it wouldn’t be a requirement of them... that’s just me though.
 

spanky

sarNie OldFart
I used to work at a nursing home....i would rather die then be in one.....or be able to chose to die peacefully.

There is a few good ppl....but trust me.... you don't want to be in one......
 

lakornwatcher

sarNie Adult
My mom has dementia and it's hard. I would tell her something and by the time I start another topic she doesn't remember what I've said. She'll tell me a story 5 times in about a 15 minutes span. But people with dementia/alzhimeir the side effect of it is them getting angry and mean (and that's a challenge to deal with on top of them not remembering) I tend to listened to her talk even if she repeats it 20 times because I know she's lonely and need someone just to talk to. My dad has alzhimeir towards the end of his life. It was to an extent where he doesn't remember my name and if I'm his daughter. It was painful to see.

Sometimes, I pondered how parents can take care of 5-6 kids and as kids we can't take care of our parents. I've been to nursing homes and it's sad to see the lonely older folks.
I'm so sorry to hear about both of your parents having dementia. It's already hard even when they don't have it so I can't imagine how hard it is when they have it. Are you an only child too or do you have siblings that can help you out or give you some kind of support? My heart really goes out to you and hope that you can get all the support you can get from families and friends.
 

mayag

sarNie Adult
I used to work at a nursing home....i would rather die then be in one.....or be able to chose to die peacefully.

There is a few good ppl....but trust me.... you don't want to be in one......
Yea, no nursing home for me, thanks. I expect my future kids to take care of me or at least hire someone to help out now and then. I just pray that I can be one of those grandmas who's still in their right senses till death or close to death.
 

lakornwatcher

sarNie Adult
I used to work at a nursing home....i would rather die then be in one.....or be able to chose to die peacefully.

There is a few good ppl....but trust me.... you don't want to be in one......
I get what you mean. When my mom had her stroke, she was hospitalized and then afterwards sent to a skilled nursing facility temporarily bc she couldn't get up to walk around. I wanted to bring her home but it was too hard for me to help her get in and out of bed. She stayed at that place for about 3 weeks and I went to visit her everyday. I felt so bad for her bc it was such a horrible experience. On her first day there, they left the safety bedside bar thing down and my mom fell out her bed. They would leave her in wet diapers and she would get rashes. We would press our button for help and they would take forever to get there. She couldn't take showers everyday. They said they have to rotate people for taking showers. It's like every 3 days before they would give her a shower. Then the nurses that was there didn't even know what the heck they were doing. My mom was on thick water liquid after she had her stroke but the nurse that came in was trying to give her regular water until I questioned her. They were supposed to help my mom with physical therapy but they weren't doing shit. They only came and looked at my mom and said oh she looks too tired, we'll come back later. Day by day passes and they still didn't try to help her start on physical therapy. So I kept pushing them to try something with her. I said at least try to see if she could sit up on bed. My mom said when they finally said they were going to start the physical therapy, they would take her to the physical therapy room and chit chat in a corner or go in their offices and just leave her in her wheelchair. It really is sad. Even with me visiting everyday, they still don't treat my mom right. I can't imagine for the people that don't have families visiting them how bad they are being treated. I really would rather die peacefully than be put in a care home too. I felt so bad for my mom. After I saw that she was able to move a little, I took her out of that place and brought her home to take care of her myself. I had to quit my job that I have worked at for the last 19 yrs to take care of her but I'd rather have this opportunity to take care of my mom than have a job and leave her in a miserable place like that.
 

Sonakshi

sarNie Adult
I get what you mean. When my mom had her stroke, she was hospitalized and then afterwards sent to a skilled nursing facility temporarily bc she couldn't get up to walk around. I wanted to bring her home but it was too hard for me to help her get in and out of bed. She stayed at that place for about 3 weeks and I went to visit her everyday. I felt so bad for her bc it was such a horrible experience. On her first day there, they left the safety bedside bar thing down and my mom fell out her bed. They would leave her in wet diapers and she would get rashes. We would press our button for help and they would take forever to get there. She couldn't take showers everyday. They said they have to rotate people for taking showers. It's like every 3 days before they would give her a shower. Then the nurses that was there didn't even know what the heck they were doing. My mom was on thick water liquid after she had her stroke but the nurse that came in was trying to give her regular water until I questioned her. They were supposed to help my mom with physical therapy but they weren't doing shit. They only came and looked at my mom and said oh she looks too tired, we'll come back later. Day by day passes and they still didn't try to help her start on physical therapy. So I kept pushing them to try something with her. I said at least try to see if she could sit up on bed. My mom said when they finally said they were going to start the physical therapy, they would take her to the physical therapy room and chit chat in a corner or go in their offices and just leave her in her wheelchair. It really is sad. Even with me visiting everyday, they still don't treat my mom right. I can't imagine for the people that don't have families visiting them how bad they are being treated. I really would rather die peacefully than be put in a care home too. I felt so bad for my mom. After I saw that she was able to move a little, I took her out of that place and brought her home to take care of her myself. I had to quit my job that I have worked at for the last 19 yrs to take care of her but I'd rather have this opportunity to take care of my mom than have a job and leave her in a miserable place like that.
Kudos to you. You are earning good karma by looking after your mother. I am sure she is proud of you .
 

x0unerthanlater

`my dragon's blood is blue`
I cannot imagine putting my parents in care facilities/nursing homes. I would never be able to sleep at night. I don't trust any of those places because I know what they're like without having to even visit one. Bottom line is, no one will look after my parents better than me.
I can understand if their health needs close supervision and 24/7 medical care though. In some cases, all we could really do is be nearby supporting them.
When my dad was hospitalized earlier this year he had to stay for almost a week. I saw all kinds of nurses. Some were beyond amazing and did their job better than required. Then there were some that didn't even know how to stick a needle into a vein. So yeah, I never trust these strangers no matter what title they wear. No one will care for your loved ones like you would.
 

maimyang

keep on keepin’ on. ✨
There are good and bad caregivers everywhere. In nursing facilities, in the home. Strangers, family members can be bad caregivers. I’ve seen some little old ladies gossiping and talking about how miserable and unhappy they are at home, they’d rather die. I just hope when I get old, I get good, trustworthy caregivers. :icon12:
 
Top