Marrying Young
- Thread starter Muddie Murda
- Start date
KhoOnxNouxWanxJai
Staff member
LOL I'm 1 lol kidding I'm 20 ... and he's 21 will be soon I guess..
and hahah p'sam it was like a secret thing? I guess we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.. because atm we're more focused on setting our lives up then an expensive ceremony .. sure we'll have one within the next year or so, but right now whats more important to us is our family and making sure everyone including ourselves have what we need... right now I'm still in the process of school and I'll be finished next year well spring 2008 and then the journey into medical school... and a lot of people have told me I won't be able to do it, but stfu lol those same people are the ones who told me I wouldn't finish high school and wouldn't make it past the first week of college lol but lookie me now =]
iluvnumandoil
sarNie OldFart
^^^good for you.....
Well, that's not so bad. I got married when I was 22, my last year at college. Still going strong after after all these years. But no kids yet. In the near future, maybe 5 more years.
But anyways, I would strongly advise you NOT to have any kids until you are settled emotionally and financially. It might look rosey right now, but if divorce happens, it's the kids who will suffer the most.
Young marriage. . . young love [sigh] . . . doesn't bother me so much.
What tears me up are young girls having babies. Sad, sad, sad. Basically babies having babies. They can barely take care of themselves and they bring these innocent lives into the world, into their own dysfunctional mess of a life. No steady job, little to no education, no money, living off mom and dad or on welfare. No dreams. No goals. Just living day from day, just barely surviving. And the worst part is, the child will grow up in this environment and will have so much more to overcome in life. And the odds increase that the child will continue this cycle of povety and wasted life because that's all they know and what they grew up with.
Just thinking about it makes me wanna cry.
Anyways. Does anyone know of anyone who dated or were together in highschool and are still together 5, 10 years later?? I don't. That's because 99% of young love / first love don't last. When you're still in school, your character and who you are is still changing. Your goals and values may still be the same, but as you grow and experience new things and meet new people, the world opens up and your small world becomes bigger and bigger.
What tears me up are young girls having babies. Sad, sad, sad. Basically babies having babies. They can barely take care of themselves and they bring these innocent lives into the world, into their own dysfunctional mess of a life. No steady job, little to no education, no money, living off mom and dad or on welfare. No dreams. No goals. Just living day from day, just barely surviving. And the worst part is, the child will grow up in this environment and will have so much more to overcome in life. And the odds increase that the child will continue this cycle of povety and wasted life because that's all they know and what they grew up with.
Just thinking about it makes me wanna cry.
Anyways. Does anyone know of anyone who dated or were together in highschool and are still together 5, 10 years later?? I don't. That's because 99% of young love / first love don't last. When you're still in school, your character and who you are is still changing. Your goals and values may still be the same, but as you grow and experience new things and meet new people, the world opens up and your small world becomes bigger and bigger.
ijohn
sarNie Adult
---i have a friend who married when he was 21 and his wife was 19 and they seem like a happy couple still with 3 kids 17 years later... i think what makes it work for them is that they plan everything together and they budget their money wisely and consult each other before spending any real money...
iluvnumandoil
sarNie OldFart
my best friend and her hubby's been together since 1993 and it wasnt always smooth sailing, every family and marriage has its ups and down. Young marriage is not recommend in so many aspects
iluvnumandoil
sarNie OldFart
LOL is that what they called it now a days
sarN
sarNie Granny
believe it or not my best friend is in their 40's . It prolly cuz of my temple involvement dat y im expose to elder ppl more but they are the closet friend i had -- even though they can be my mother but age is just a number right ? They alway tell me stories of their trouble kids . Most asian parent hate the idea of "free $ex" it like a cry for a bag mask. So , if they found out their kids is in a relationship -- mostly if their kid is a "girl" i can promise u they will throw a marriage message at the guy even if he like it or not cuz it like a shamefull issue to have specially if u have a daughter cuz like most asia parent will say " the girl is alway the one with the disadvantaged while they guy have nothing to lose ..." with dis concept marring at a young age can be say "force!?" but it not alway the case but for the major of the time dat wat i hear from asain parent in to why they let their kids get marry --- My elder friend admit dat their daughter doesn't even want to marry the guy cuz her feeling is mix & confuse-- she have doubt in his loyal to her and other insecure reason when they were dating and feel it might not work out but since the daughter have a "sexual" relationship w/ him already the parent refuse to lisent to her and convince her to marry him for no ohter reason but just cuz they have "$ex" . American ppl doesn't think like us . Most of the time they dont' end up marrying the person they first slept with. My white friend say her mom doesn't stop her from dating guy but instead teach her how to use birth control pill and ohter advice cuz the mom know now a day kids is crazy with their hormone if you can't stop it -- might as well bring in the first aid kit ! I think dat the problem . Asian mother should talk to their kids about "$ex" i know just the word it self will blow the elder mind a way but dat how it is and parent should look into it as a serious issue.
My other friend who is 36 years old have a 16 year old daughter at dat time have been with several differ guy and at first she was goin let her daugher marry the first bf she bring in the house but one day she ask me about wat i think she should do since at the time i was around her daughter age and we talk about letting her "date" to see wat will happen cuz there a chance it might not work out if force them into marriage the long term effect might be damaging . At first she didnt like the idea cuz she know her daughter is having "free $ex" a parent 's nightmare . Weird it might sound but her daughter came out better den any other of her friend daughter. Yes , her daughter been label as "slut" ect ect but since my friend doesn't want to see her daughter life ruin encourage her to use protection and must maintain a good grade in school and in return she will give her daughter freedom and now the daughter congratulated from a law school and is working . Im happy for her . It very uplifting to see one achieve so much in life when everyone doubted them from the start.
Yesterday , my friend call me to her house cuz she cooking some Pho ( rice noodle ) . Yes , she is 47 years old . There was only the 5 of us ( $ex in the City
) -- i happen to bring up the topic of young kid geting married. Believe it or not hanging out w/ young ppl does change the way you think and dat how my friend are they are very open minded and they are not as old traditional like they use to be - . There was several reason they mention why girl will marry young
1)young girls want to have kids while they are young -- fear aging can be troublesome when giving brith-- boo , my mom was 37 when she have my little bro ! I almost 16 year his senor , he like my son LOL.
2) young girls feel insecure about their look , low self esteem for example and often fall for the "jerk" guy. Thinking they will not find any other guy dat will find tthem attractive -- boo , as long as u have money u can go buy a young bug back in the motherland ... there are cute one . So , just work hard for dat $$
3)parent force --- boo, call child abuse
4)" LOVE " -- boo ... well everyone have right to fell in love but "love" u can't eat . Parent should advice them to date and teach htem protection -- say no to drug and stay in school !
--
..i forgot the the rest lol
My other friend who is 36 years old have a 16 year old daughter at dat time have been with several differ guy and at first she was goin let her daugher marry the first bf she bring in the house but one day she ask me about wat i think she should do since at the time i was around her daughter age and we talk about letting her "date" to see wat will happen cuz there a chance it might not work out if force them into marriage the long term effect might be damaging . At first she didnt like the idea cuz she know her daughter is having "free $ex" a parent 's nightmare . Weird it might sound but her daughter came out better den any other of her friend daughter. Yes , her daughter been label as "slut" ect ect but since my friend doesn't want to see her daughter life ruin encourage her to use protection and must maintain a good grade in school and in return she will give her daughter freedom and now the daughter congratulated from a law school and is working . Im happy for her . It very uplifting to see one achieve so much in life when everyone doubted them from the start.
Yesterday , my friend call me to her house cuz she cooking some Pho ( rice noodle ) . Yes , she is 47 years old . There was only the 5 of us ( $ex in the City
) -- i happen to bring up the topic of young kid geting married. Believe it or not hanging out w/ young ppl does change the way you think and dat how my friend are they are very open minded and they are not as old traditional like they use to be - . There was several reason they mention why girl will marry young1)young girls want to have kids while they are young -- fear aging can be troublesome when giving brith-- boo , my mom was 37 when she have my little bro ! I almost 16 year his senor , he like my son LOL.
2) young girls feel insecure about their look , low self esteem for example and often fall for the "jerk" guy. Thinking they will not find any other guy dat will find tthem attractive -- boo , as long as u have money u can go buy a young bug back in the motherland ... there are cute one . So , just work hard for dat $$
3)parent force --- boo, call child abuse
4)" LOVE " -- boo ... well everyone have right to fell in love but "love" u can't eat . Parent should advice them to date and teach htem protection -- say no to drug and stay in school !
--
..i forgot the the rest lol
Muddie Murda
smile...
Congratz Tina! You have it well off though because you seem very independent already, and you're still going on w/ school with your hubby supporting (not financially lol) through the whole way.
Question though, and I'm glad you're here, since I was hoping we'll have someone who married young...though I wouldn't consider you THAT young of age that I wanted to ask lol...but yeah you are the youngest out of those who posted here...and married.
Anyways, what made you decide to marry? Why couldn't you wait until school was done with? Were you afraid to lose him? Etc....
Question though, and I'm glad you're here, since I was hoping we'll have someone who married young...though I wouldn't consider you THAT young of age that I wanted to ask lol...but yeah you are the youngest out of those who posted here...and married.
Anyways, what made you decide to marry? Why couldn't you wait until school was done with? Were you afraid to lose him? Etc....
iluvnumandoil
sarNie OldFart
the number 1 reason i would say couples fight about would be money
Muddie Murda
smile...
Oh. and um, also to remind everyone that this isn't specifically about failed marriages. It's about young kids who give up their childhood or sometimes, dreams, for marriage.
Solita
sarNie Juvenile
just wanted to say good topic muddie murda. it really makes you think. i kind of have a similar situation. my college roommate is 21 going on 22. she got married last month to a man she has known for maybe 2 months before they got married. she had been dumped by her long-time boyfriend in March and was not emotionally stable. she went home for summer vacation and met her future husband. i just think it's crazy that she married him. she doesn't even know him. what i have trouble with is that they've known each other less then 6 months and they're already married. last night she told me that she's pregnant. it seems like they're happy together, but i am worried that it won't work out in the end. i would never marry someone i've known less than 1 year. sorry if this is off topic, but i just had to get this off my chest.
KhoOnxNouxWanxJai
Staff member
lol thanks mudddie...but the reason is not because I'm afraid to lose him and etc, but because we both felt that we were ready also.... because we couldn't really find a reason why we shouldn't? And honestly at this point we're way more closer that ever.....and we share everything with each other.....many thought we'd go downhill after the first few months but everything's been better....
and p.s I miss sarNworld