Share your F.O.B stories here!

[Kenshin]

Haha oh my god Thookatha, I just laughed out loud reading your story and everyone in my class stared at me just now. (I'm typing this from my computer class at school ^_~)

Most of my FOB stories can be described in one sentence.

-Me and my sisters think my mom wants to go to Oreo Shack when she really wanted to go to Radio Shack.
-This one lady kept calling my mom Thursday when my mom said she was thirsty, but with the obvious accent.
-Me, my sisters, and my friends spend the whole night trying to figure out how to say horse in Laos.

Probably the longest story I have was when I was in kindergarten. I was born and raised in the US so I talked Lao and English. I was watching Boran movies at the time and I was fookin terrifed of yak, witches, and stuff. So when I went to school first day, nothing really happened. It was lunch time and I was wondering who else was spoke Lao and I guess I got my answer. This girl that was sitting across the room stood up and said "yuck" because she didn't like what she ate. Me, being 6 years old and terrified of yak, thought she pronounced yak with a different accent.

So I freak out. I screamed and shouted at everyone to run away because the yak was gonna eat them. Everyone thought I was crazy, but then this tall (and I mean TALL) guy comes up to me and picks me up and smiles. The curves in his cheek when he smiled made me think he was about to pull out his yak teeth and eat me, so I screamed at him in Lao and kicked him. "Sow guan mae buk ha yak. Ya geen! Goo see thaht hum meung ohk and feed it to you gup mae meung!" (Stop bothering me you...(I don't even know what buk ha translates to but I know its bad) yak. Don't eat! I'm gonna cut off your balls and feed it to you and your mother). I mixed Lao and English a lot so he looked really confused. He put me down and I kicked at him again. I remember thinking "I'm about to take down a yak. My mom's gonna be so proud".

So I guess my mom or any of the parents left because my mom came running into the cafeteria. She started shouting at me "what are you doing?!" and at this time the dude pulled out a whistle and blew it at me. I didn't know what a whistle was so instead, I said "beep gae sai yung?" (Why are you honking your horn?). He turned around and started walking away and I shouted back "Meung pbai yoo sai huh? Goo see tham pbai gah ka meung teem!" (Where are you going? I'm gonna fall you and kill you). So my mom yanked me back into the office and she explained everything to the teachers and stuff and to me. And that was a wild first day at school.

 

[Nameless]

i don't know if it's considered a fob story, but my mom makes a habit of picking up things that she thinks are treasures off the ground and carrying it home with her.

we'd be walking in a parking lot, and my mom would like 'oh, look! an earring' - she then examines it and goes 'it's still new and shiny' and then i say back to her 'mom, it's only one side.' and she says back 'so, it's still nice. probably worth something.' then she pockets it.

 

[amikrazie]

LMAO funny stories...thank you thookata & Kenshin for sharing!
Yak & phee huh! even reciting the buddhist chants!!


hahaha, i know my mom is just the same pronouncing the name of the stores..had to ask her like 4-5x to realized which store it was that she wanted to go to.

she always complains or envy my nieces which are like 3 & 6 yrs old (she considered they were just born yesterday) but are speaking english well... when shes been here for over 20 yrs and still struggling with the easy words..lol

speaking of which, my 6 yr old niece talk to my parents in a fobby accent too...i guess that is her way of communicating and they seem to understands her better

--everytime i hear her talk to them...i would just cause it can get kind of annoying ..but she totally change her speech if shes talking to one of us english speaking ppl!

 

[~Sandy~]

YES!! The buddist chant always works! Works for my daughter...imagine a 5yr old lil Mexican saying "na mo tha sah" in her room everynight LOL

Love your stories Thookata & Khensin!!! :loool:

 

[amikrazie]

YES!! The buddist chant always works! Works for my daughter...imagine a 5yr old lil Mexican saying "na mo tha sah" in her room everynight LOL

Love your stories Thookata & Khensin!!! :loool:

lol sandy...thats just too cute!!!

 

[ohitsnoyyy]

I was born in Laos and I lived at a refugee camp in Thailand before. I came to America and since we were there all day trying to take care of paperworks, the immigration office was pretty much my second home.
But anyway, FOB, as you know stands for Fresh Off the Boat, and it refers to being new in a foreign country or being new to a different society. I remember going to school and was very naive.
My family and I are a bunch of dark Laotians and in Lao, "Dum" means dark. So at school, the white kids would say to my siblings and I, "you guys are so dumb!!" And we were all amazed, we're like "Wow, they can speak lao too! They said we're dark."
My siblings and I would always laugh when we think back to those days.

*Sorry if FOB offends anyone.. .not intended to derogatorized anyone*

lmao. this story is funny. i'm laughing so hard now... :loool:

Lady...love your story LMAO!!! :loool:

I was born and raised in the US too, but my parents always helped the new immigrants in our state. So i have a few stories...

1) My dad is really into music, bands, and entertainment. So one day he took a new-comer to go buy a stereo so he can play his laos tapes on. My dad took him to Sears in the mall. Well, as my dad & I was browsing the store...a clerk came up to the new-comer, and asked if he needed help. The new-comer nicely replied "yes...ummm...i want buy...a "cha chung chung cha chung chung" while dancing at the same time. He was trying to sound out music & beats...basically trying to explain to the clerk that he was looking for something that played music...a stereo LOL

2) This day my dad was driving to work...and another Laos man was riding his motorcycle, assume he's going to work too. Well, some guy cut of the man on the bike, got into a minor accident, and he fell into the ditch. The white guy stopped and came out to the car, so did my dad...they ran to the laos man...the white guy says "oh NO!". The laos man replied in laos to the white guy "bo NO lah, Hak tatae". (translate: it's not a bump, it's really broken) The laos man broke his arm, and he thought when the white guy said "oh no" that the white guy meant he only had a lil bump on his head or something. My dad, couldn't help from laughing...

hahahaa. you gals made my day! my parents have those moments... :loool:

The very first years in the states, we used foodstamps. So when there was a fieldtrip, my teacher sent home a permission slip and it said I needed to bring money for food. My mother signed the slip and included a $5 foodtamp along with it. LOL..... When the teacher saw it, I remember her gasping and then gave out a laugh. And in my head, I was like.. the heck is wrong with this white woman. But anyway, they had to pack a school lunch for me from the cafeteria that day.

:loool: :loool: :loool:

 

[ohitsnoyyy]

i don't really remember much FOB stories.. i was born in laos & moved to the U.S when i was 2.

but my dad.. man, he's another story.

so one day he was driving on the freeway & a small rock hit his car & left a crack on the window. he calls the car insurance & tells them that a "rock jumped onto his car & the window breaked." :loool: i was like "dad, the rock didn't "jump" onto your car. lol. i was laughing so hard... lol

my mama doesn't know how to say sierra mist.. she calls it sierra-lemon. :loool:

 

[Alhambra1]

oh i have a story about my aunt. she went to school for the very first time and she was expected to walk home but her surrounding were new to her. so she followed this white guy home. i dont know what she was thinking but she followed him to his house. they were kind enough to have her stayed at their place while the police looks for contacts. hahaha. she was scared, she only knew a few words like a 3 year old. she said she was very scared. and then she got a lecture from my grandpa.

lol it doesnt sound funny but i am not very good at putting it into words.

Actually it's funny and scary at the same time. She is lucky those white people were actually nice people. Many bad things could have happen to her. I know I'd probably shouldn't laugh, but I am, sorry.

 

[judyp]

lmao!! you guys have some funny stories :loool: i was literally sitting here laughing so hard. my mom thinks im crazy. haha.

well i have a story of my mom & her broken english (don't we all? lols).
one day, we went to a convenient liquor store to buy a bag of ice. of course, my mom couldn't pronounce ice. she pronounces ice, "eyees". so she asks the clerk, "do you have eyeeees?" the clerk said, "yes, i have eyes. i have 2 eyes." :loool: :loool: JERK! hahaha.

 

[~Sandy~]

lmao!! you guys have some funny stories :loool: i was literally sitting here laughing so hard. my mom thinks im crazy. haha.

well i have a story of my mom & her broken english (don't we all? lols).
one day, we went to a convenient liquor store to buy a bag of ice. of course, my mom couldn't pronounce ice. she pronounces ice, "eyees". so she asks the clerk, "do you have eyeeees?" the clerk said, "yes, i have eyes. i have 2 of eyes." :loool: :loool: JERK! hahaha.

Oh holy craaaaaaap!!! That's a good one!!! *tears* :lmao: You know how you laugh so hard and trying to be quiet at the same time...sound like a dog with a cold LOL That's what I sound like now!

 

[amikrazie]

LMAO Judyp..thats a really good one..

sandy..i know what you mean..im here doing the same thing! :lmao: <--tears of joy!

 

[Thookatha]

LOL, ThookaTha... I can seriously relate to you when you cried out for help in Lao. I was literally LoLing my ass off. I used to ask one of your albino pbee pob if she could see out of her blue eyes. Cause I never seen people with blue eyes where I come from. Hehehe

HAHAHAHA! i remember thinking the same thing!

i don't know if it's considered a fob story, but my mom makes a habit of picking up things that she thinks are treasures off the ground and carrying it home with her.

we'd be walking in a parking lot, and my mom would like 'oh, look! an earring' - she then examines it and goes 'it's still new and shiny' and then i say back to her 'mom, it's only one side.' and she says back 'so, it's still nice. probably worth something.' then she pockets it.

all the women in my family do that!

"Sow guan mae buk ha yak. Ya geen! Goo see thaht hum meung ohk and feed it to you gup mae meung!" (Stop bothering me you...(I don't even know what buk ha translates to but I know its bad) yak. Don't eat! I'm gonna cut off your balls and feed it to you and your mother). I mixed Lao and English a lot so he looked really confused. He put me down and I kicked at him again. I remember thinking "I'm about to take down a yak. My mom's gonna be so proud".

"Meung pbai yoo sai huh? Goo see tham pbai gah ka meung teem!" (Where are you going? I'm gonna fall you and kill you).

oh my damn, i couldn't stop laughing...these are my favorite parts!

as for the FOB accent stories about our parents, i agree that we all have too many of those. but judyp, your mom just got the award for FOB mom of the year. lool

that makes me miss my mom. reminds me of when she wants me to buy those baby tomatoes for her. there are a couple of different kinds. my mom still pronounces chilli as cheery and cherry as chae-ly, so when she wants me to go buy chilli tomatoes, it's cheery tomatoes, and when she wants me to buy cherry tomatoes, it's chae-ly tomatoes. and when i want her to make me some ovaltine, i ask for o-wun-theen. AHAHAHAHA!

 

[Thookatha]

OH, ONE MORE THING...IS ANYONE'S GRANDMA A PACK-RAT? NOT LIKE THE WHITE PEOPLE KIND, BUT THE ASIAN KIND WHERE THEY KEEP EEEEVERYTHING, INCLUDING MOLDED FOOD WHICH HAS SOMEHOW TURNED INTO HERBS.

...UMMM...YEAH...MY GRANDMA IS NOT LIKE THAT. (AS I PUT ON AN EXPRESSION OF DENIAL)

 

[genkers]

Lady...love your story LMAO!!! :loool:

I was born and raised in the US too, but my parents always helped the new immigrants in our state. So i have a few stories...

1) My dad is really into music, bands, and entertainment. So one day he took a new-comer to go buy a stereo so he can play his laos tapes on. My dad took him to Sears in the mall. Well, as my dad & I was browsing the store...a clerk came up to the new-comer, and asked if he needed help. The new-comer nicely replied "yes...ummm...i want buy...a "cha chung chung cha chung chung" while dancing at the same time. He was trying to sound out music & beats...basically trying to explain to the clerk that he was looking for something that played music...a stereo LOL

2) This day my dad was driving to work...and another Laos man was riding his motorcycle, assume he's going to work too. Well, some guy cut of the man on the bike, got into a minor accident, and he fell into the ditch. The white guy stopped and came out to the car, so did my dad...they ran to the laos man...the white guy says "oh NO!". The laos man replied in laos to the white guy "bo NO lah, Hak tatae". (translate: it's not a bump, it's really broken) The laos man broke his arm, and he thought when the white guy said "oh no" that the white guy meant he only had a lil bump on his head or something. My dad, couldn't help from laughing...

lol i really want to hear the rest of ur second story what happen to white guy and laos after that any court issue like that

 

[amikrazie]

HAHAHAHA! i remember thinking the same thing!
all the women in my family do that!
oh my damn, i couldn't stop laughing...these are my favorite parts!

as for the FOB accent stories about our parents, i agree that we all have too many of those. but judyp, your mom just got the award for FOB mom of the year. lool

that makes me miss my mom. reminds me of when she wants me to buy those baby tomatoes for her. there are a couple of different kinds. my mom still pronounces chilli as cheery and cherry as chae-ly, so when she wants me to go buy chilli tomatoes, it's cheery tomatoes, and when she wants me to buy cherry tomatoes, it's chae-ly tomatoes. and when i want her to make me some ovaltine, i ask for o-wun-theen. AHAHAHAHA!

...its interesting how we pronounce the ovaltine, as o-wun-theen too... prolly have more similiar pronunciation and stuff too...esp the deep words. *im not laotian, if anyone is wondering ^_^

 

[SethT]

LMAO, you guys have such funny stories. yeah came to aust when i was two so i dont remember much...but ive got a few funny stories of my parents:

1) this was on the plane, we were heading of for melbourne right. then the guy next to my dad asked "what city are you going to?" and my dad's like "Sydbourne" (the combination of sydney and melbourne) lol

2) well my mum doesnt speak english all too that well. so one day she was going to buy this energy drink which is called "V"...but she doesnt know how to say that so she said "wee" and the clerk gave the look like wth.

 

[ohitsnoyyy]

lol you gal/guys story are just hilarious! thanks for keeping me laughing! haha

i got one story for you, my mama told me it actually. lmao. i love my mama's FOB stories.

my mama doesn't know how to say foggy instead she says "fall-kee" [it sounds like she's saying the F word] :loool:

she pronounces "el cajon" --> alcohol :loool:

my lil sister's name is shannon but she pronounce it san non. :loool:

 

[judyp]

lol. isn't it funny how our parents have trouble pronouncing our names when they named us? my mom would always tell me "judy, when you name your kids, make it easy for me to pronounce". my younger brother's name is eric and she calls him "e-lek". haha.

 

[ohitsnoyyy]

lol. isn't it funny how our parents have trouble pronouncing our names when they named us? my mom would always tell me "judy, when you name your kids, make it easy for me to pronounce". my younger brother's name is eric and she calls him "e-lek". haha.

lmao. seriously. my mom espcially have trouble with names.

i have a friend name chris but she doesn't know how to pronounce it so she calls him "kit". :loool:

 

[fun]

Actually it's funny and scary at the same time. She is lucky those white people were actually nice people. Many bad things could have happen to her. I know I'd probably shouldn't laugh, but I am, sorry.

you got to hear it from my aunt. she said it was scary but she laughed so hard when she talk about it.

i love this thread. so funny. it brighten my dull days.

okay here is another one. this one about my youngest sister. she was also born in the states as well but her english was terrible in elementary school. the school had a professional somebody come over to test my sister's IQ cause she was doing real bad in school. she is damn lucky, she was about to be held back a grade three freaking time but didnt. anyways i sat there in the living room with my mom, sisters and the professional dude, he asked my sister to give him the definition of crash. her answer literally, "crash was when you crash-ed into something" i burst out laughing like i was going to die and my other sister was able to hold it in until she ran into the bedroom to laugh her ass off- she was a fifth grader at the time. you guys should have been there.

this one about my dad, so embarrassing i had my white friend over, my siblings were in the living room as well, my dad was siting in those folding chair and like in a few minutes the chair collapsed and we all laughed including my mom [not my white friend] she was respectful. and then he got up yelling at the chair, well, more like cursing in broken english. he said something like this, stupid chair you are a bitch. why you fucker shit. blah blah blah. omg i was dying from laughter and embarrassed at the same time. hahaha should have seen my dad's face and my mom was like you deserved it. and later when he was bitching at the chair, my mom said he was a crazy man, the chair dont understand him.