“We’re going to regret this decision aren’t we?” Tit asked his fiancée as they both descended the stairs into their living room. Both Jee and Tit were dressed to the nines. Jee was wearing a little black dress that was quiet simple. It was a shiny satin dress with thin spaghetti straps and a hemline that came half-way down her thighs, though simple, the way Jee wore it made the rather simple garment look elegant and extraordinary. At ten weeks into her pregnancy, her stomach was still flat and imperceptible.
Looking at the silky fabric draping over her curves made Tit contemplate cancelling their plans for the night and staying in instead, but he knew that wouldn’t be possible. He, on the other hand, was also looking very dapper. He wearing a crisp, white dress shirt that was perfectly tailored to him, paired with navy trousers and polished black leather shoes which made him resemble a walking advertisement for Armani.
When Tit reached the bottom of the staircase, he turned around to face Jee, who was walking down the steps behind him. Jee came to a stop on the last step with her body almost pressed up to Tit’s. Her lips came up exactly level with Tit’s nose and not being able to resist the temptation, she wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled before planting a little kiss on the tip of her fiancee’s nose.
Pulling back to look down into his eyes, Jee replied to his question with amusement, “What? Letting Chayan and Piak plan our bachelor and bachelorette nights?”
Tit sighed and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, then bent down to rest his cheek on Jee’s sternum. “Yep. Those two really have questionable standards of boundaries sometimes. Especially Piak, I dread what kind of heinous activities she has planned for you tonight. Pregnancy has made her levels of lunacy elevate rather higher than usual, so you are likely in for a wild ride tonight.”
Jee giggled and teased Tit by saying, “Oh I greatly anticipate a night of debauchery. Some scandalous exploration is in order before I hitch my wagon to a stuffy, uptight attorney.” Tit retaliated by hugging her even tighter and trailing a palm down to Jee’s derrière to squeeze it, making her yelp a little.
“How about I show you how uptight and stuffy I really am when we return home tonight?” Tit whispered into Jee’s neck before kissing and suckling it a little which caused Jee’s breath to hitch and her cheeks to blush deeply.
Jee had been living with Tit for a month now, and there were still moments when her innocence in the realm of passion and romance surprised Tit. He knew that he had been her first lover, but discovering he had been her first real kiss and boyfriend, outside acting in lakorns, was another bewildering revelation for Tit. The emotional maturity that Jee had developed, from enduring all the traumatic experiences in her life, often made Tit forget that he was over seven years her senior. It really made Tit feel like an old cradle snatcher when he made references that would completely fly over Jee’s head because she had been too young to go through the same experience and know what he was talking about.
Recovering from Tit’s sensuous invitation, Jee admitted, “I don’t think we’ll even have the energy to shower when we get home. Piak’s been cackling constantly about all the craziness she and Chayan have planned and it’s making me a little afraid of what’s ahead.” Neither Jee nor Tit were actually concerned about their faithfulness to each other, it was more the insanity of what Chayan and Piak had devised that had them both feeling a little anxious.
Jee continued to half-heartedly complain, “I don’t even get the benefit of booze to make tonight more bearable. I’m going to remember every little thing in excruciating detail.” Jee did not drink even before her pregnancy, but she had to concede it would have been nice to be able to take a few sips to ease the nerves for the night. As it was the usual rite of passage to see some sort of strip show during your bachelor or bachelorette nights, both Tit and Jee had figured that would somehow be incorporated into tonight’s festivities. Tit was the only man Jee had ever seen in the nude so tonight may well be another eye-opening experience for her.
Never missing an opportunity to jest with Jee’s innocent nature, Tit deliberately misinterpreted her words and joked, “True. I suppose when I’m your only reference, anyone else’s would be considered little, huh?” He pulled his head back to gage her reaction to what he insinuated.
Jee’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion for a few seconds before her eyes widened as she caught onto his meaning, which thoroughly amused Tit. “You are such a dirty creep!” she exclaimed in outrage before slapping his shoulders.
“Well, I haven’t received any complaints from you in the bedroom department so far, so I think it’s best I maintain my level of sexual creativity.” Tit smiled brightly before nuzzling Jee’s nose with his.
Suddenly, an incessant ringing of the doorbell caused the loving pair to turn their attention towards the front door. They saw P’Sookie peering into the hallway at them through the window beside the front door.
“Hey! She’s already pregnant, Mr. handsome lawyer. Keep it in your pants!” P’Sookie jokingly chided Tit.
Tit and Jee laughed and extricated themselves from each other to grab their keys and wallets and head out the door holding each other’s hands. They followed P’Sookie out of the house and exited the front gate of the house to find two monstrous stretch Hummers parked on the street with loud trance music blaring out of them. The sight made Tit cringe and shake his head at the clear message of recklessness and foolhardy it sent. As Tit was such a private and reserved man to strangers, the thought of zooming around downtown Bangkok in an enormous stretch Hummer while blasting clubbing music didn't sit to well with him, but he'd endure it for one night. Jee chuckled at her fiancés expected reaction. Standing out of the sunroof of each Hummer was Piak and Chayan, whose faces were both adorned with cheeky, ominous smiles.
The stretch Hummers really were an unnecessary excess given that the group of people for each party was small enough to fit in a regular five-seater car. Only Piak, Daraka, Jane and P’Sookie were invited to Jee’s party while Tit’s bachelor party group only included Chayan, Pichet, Jed and Pahn. All the people the pair had invited, were all sitting inside the Hummers with their heads out the window smiling at the soon-to-be married couple with childish grins on their faces.
“Ready to paaaaaartay?!” Chayan yelled while doing a little dance in the small confines of the Hummer sunroof. It was rather obvious that the man started the celebration early as his cheeks were a little flushed in the way that only happened when he’d been drinking. In his right hand he was clutching an open champagne bottle that he was taking generous swigs from.
“Chayan! Slow down on the drinking! You have to watch P’Tit and make sure he enjoys every moment of tonight!” Piak yelled while wiggling her eyebrows in a suggestive manner. Piak’s facial expression was making Tit’s nerves elevate, it further suggested that some sort of stripping was going to be in his immediate future. He wasn’t particularly looking forward to seeing any woman strip in front of him, unless it was Jee, that he could support wholeheartedly.
“Okay. Bye bye, teerak. Enjoy yourself.” Jee said as she turned to give him a quick embrace.
“You too, teerak. Love you.” Tit replied as he wrapped his arms around Jee and lowered his lips onto hers. Temptation got to Tit and he deepened the kiss causing Jee to moan, but before it could go any further, Tit felt someone yank on his arm and drag him away from Jee. Looking up from the kiss, he could see P’Sookie dragging Jee to the girl’s Hummer in the same way Pahn was dragging him to the boy's one.
“Stop making out in front of us you two! We know y’all like to get in each other’s pants, you can do that all you want after tonight. This is your last opportunity to officially say goodbye to your singledom before you are officially attached to the old ball and chain. Would you please get into the proper spirit of tonight!” Chayan yelled at them as he took another swig from the champagne bottle.
“Take it easy on Jee okay, Piak? Don’t forget she’s pregnant.” Satit reminded.
“I know P’Tit. I’m with child too remember? I know exactly what us pregnant ladies can handle, which is probably a lot more than you wimps.” Piak chuckled as she nodded her head toward the boy’s hummer.
Jee and Tit both laughed and smiled at each other until the very last moment before they stepped into their respective Hummers that then drove off in opposite directions.
Six hours later.
It was around two o’clock in the morning that Jee sat in the living room, still in her little black dress, as she recounted the events of the night while waiting for Tit to come home. The night had been amazing but her cheeks burned as she remembered some of the sights she had witnessed that evening.
It had started off relatively tame as Piak first took everyone to an amazing burger joint in downtown Bangkok. She and Piak has both devoured two each and a mountain of pickles due to their pregnancy cravings. Next on the itinerary was getting dessert in one of the most exclusive patisseries in the entire country. Piak had pulled some strings and managed to get the head patisserier to give their small group a private lesson and tasting of all of the patisseries signature sweets. Jee thought she had died and gone to chocolate heaven when the man had given her a large spoon and a freshly baked chocolate soufflé. She ate the whole thing to herself.
Dessert was followed by a trip to a karaoke bar in a really nice upper-class establishment. The karaoke bar was atop of an enormous sky scraper that showed the most amazing view of Bangkok through its floor-to-ceiling glass windows. Everyone had an amazing time singing and dancing their hearts away. However, the grand finale event occurred at around midnight. When everyone was going crazy, belting their hearts out to ‘Hit me Baby One More Time’ by Britney Spears with the accompanying dance moves, the strippers arrived.
There were two ‘male dancers’, each around six-foot in height and looked as if they could have been cast for the Magic Mike movie. They were both very tanned and muscular and had come in dressed like white collar businessmen, which Jee thought somewhat emulated Tit’s style but didn’t dwell too much on it.
“Boys!” Piak demanded of the male dancers before she pointed to Jee who sat embarrassed on the couch inside the bar, “This woman right here is going to get hitched next weekend, you need to show her what she’s missing out on by saddling up with my cousin. He’s her first boyfriend, by the way, so don’t hold back, this is her last opportunity to experiment!”
That next half an hour of her life, Jee will never be able to look back on without turning beat red. No longer can it be said, that Tit was the only man she’d seen naked. Jee had sat uncomfortable in an upright foetal position for the whole dance, until the last five minutes where one of the strippers had given her a lap dance, which had forced her remove her knees from under her chin. She kept her eyes half shut during the performance out of extreme embarrassment and mortification. The whole experience was far more amusing than it was arousing.
After the first half an hour, P’Sookie had taken over command of the strippers as Jee clearly wasn’t appreciating them as much as he could. He paid handsomely for a double lap dance. All the other girls watched, thoroughly entertained, as P’Sookie sang ‘It’s Raining Men’ into the karaoke microphone as he was serenaded by two muscular hunks.
A knock on the door made Jee snap out of her thoughts and walk over to open the front door. There stood Chayan, trying to hold her fiancée upright, who was extremely unstable on his feet from extreme intoxication.
“What did you do to him, P’Chayan?” Jee asked as she helped Chayan bring Tit inside the living room and settle him on the sofa. As he was flopped onto the sofa, Tit could barely remain conscious and rolled onto his side and snuggled into a cushion as he murmured incoherently. He reeked of alcohol, the first few buttons of his dress shirt were undone and his hair looked like it had been tussled with.
“Oh, I took him to see a very special show. He needed some extra liquid courage to be able to take the heat.” Chayan wiggled his eyebrows at Jee.
“He’s not a prude, P’Chayan, I doubt he’d be super embarrassed from seeing a strip show.” Jee answered in an amused manner.
“Oh this was no ordinary strip show, Jee. This one had him clambering for escape.” Chayan laughed as he wouldn’t reveal the details.
“What do you mean?” Jee was intrigued.
“Nothing, it's guy code. Can’t reveal the secrets of the bachelor night.” He ran his fingers along his lips as if he were closing a zip and began heading to the door. “Okay, I need to go home to Piak now, she wants me to buy ice-cream to satisfy her cravings.”
“Bye, P’Chayan.” Jee said as he closed the door behind him.
Jee then turned her attention to her intoxicated fiancée as he was mumbling words in his fitful sleep.
“My eyes…never the same again…hot pink thong…mortifying…”
Jee managed to catch a few words he said which made her more curious. Too ease his discomfort, she untucked his shirt from his trousers, unbuttoned it and took off his shoes. She then went to get a damp cloth to wipe the sweat from his face and chest. She was surprised to find a hot pink lipstick mark smeared on his collar bone, and wiped it off for him as she began to imagine the events of Tit’s bachelor night. Jee wasn’t jealous as she also had a pretty scandalous evening, it was the fact that Tit seemed to be super horrified by what happened that night that had her intrigued.
Jee went upstairs to shower and change into her pyjamas before returning to continue to care for Tit. Eventually she fell asleep on other end of the long sofa and she woke up the next morning to retching sounds coming from the downstairs bathroom. She walked in to find a shirtless Tit, who was clad only in his navy trousers from the night before. He’s head was hanging in the toilet bowl as he upended a golden brown liquid from his stomach. It was mostly likely a copious amount of whiskey and scotch judging by the smell. Jee crouched down next to him to rub his back.
“You don’t need to see this, Jee. I’m fine.” Tit managed to choke out between dry heaves, he nudged her softly to try and get her out of the bathroom.
“You help me with this every day when the morning sickness hits, teerak. Why shouldn’t I return the favour for my big man-baby?” Jee teased as she continued to rub his back.
When he was done, Tit trudged upstairs to freshen up and wash the smell of alcohol off of himself as Jee brewed some strong coffee and began making breakfast. She made a hearty breakfast of bacon, sausages, poached egg and toast as she was experiencing major pregnancy hunger again and Tit would likely be hungry from vomiting out the entire contents of his stomach.
Tit entered the kitchen to see Jee sitting on a tall stool at the island bench in the kitchen, with her breakfast and tea in front of her. Next to her was Tit’s coffee and enormous breakfast waiting for him. Jee was too engrossed in flicking through photos on her phone to greet Tit, as he slid onto the stool beside hers. Piak had commandeered Chayan’s phone and sent photos that he took of what the boy's got up to last night.
After stumbling on a picture that finally answered her questions about what made Tit so horrified last night, Jee burst out in an uncontrollable fit of laughter. She almost fell of her stool and turned to look at Tit with an expression of extreme amusement. Surprised by Jee’s sudden outburst, Tit looked at his fiancée in confusion. Jee then lifted her phone up to show him the picture that had her gagging in laughter and watched Tit’s face and ears turn red. The photo showed Tit bound and tied to a chair, his face plastered with a look of abject embarrassment as the drag queen standing behind his chair, wearing a bright pink thong, bra, stilettos and lipstick, bent over to run her hands seductively down Tit’s chest.
“Oh My God!” Jee grasped in between spasms of giggling, “You went to a ladyboy strip show?!”
Tit grabbed the incriminating phone from Jee and said, “It wasn’t my choice. P’Chayan took me there! How’d you get these pictures anyways? This is violating guy code!”
Suddenly, the phone in Tit’s pocket buzzed as well and he opened up a text Chayan had sent him. He flicked through pictures of Jee sitting in foetal position, looking mortified, as a half-naked man danced around her. Trying to get a leg up from his position of extreme embarrassment, he held up the phone to Jee and said without thinking, “Well, I guess I’m not the only person who saw some dick last night, was I?”
Tit’s face showed smug satisfaction for a brief moment until he realised he had just dug his own grave even deeper. Jee looked at him, while trying to supress the laughter, but after the ‘dick’ comment, it just exploded out of her and tears of began to escape. She bent over as her abdominal muscles were beginning to ache from laughing so much, but the movement tipped the balance of her stool and she almost fell over before Tit quickly caught her shoulders and returned her into an upright position.
“I’m sorry. I can’t stop, you totally made it worse by telling me you show dick last night.” Jee said as she used her sleeves to blot the tears streaming down her face.
Looking at his fiancée literally die from laughter, Tit planned the perfect retribution. He grabbed his cup of coffee and chugged it down in one go. He then turned to Jee, who was still cackling to herself and said, “For laughing at me, you need to pay by helping me cure my hangover. People say exercise can help. I can think of the perfect type of exercise and it too involves ‘seeing some dick’.” He made the last comment as he hoisted his fiancée over his shoulder which made her laughter resonate even louder.
As he was marching Jee up the stairs, Jee hung upside down and giggled into his back, “Ooooo. I can actually give you some feedback now that I have a couple others as reference.” The comment made Tit spank her bottom and begin taking the stairs up two at a time.
