hmong girls/ guys over sea stories

[mmm0403]

You are one person funny. hehe
Not to bash you on here but its quite interesting what you said here. i mean everyone do have a different perspective in life.

Don't want a traditional wedding? and why do you want to get married secretly? you want your man into culture and stuff, but your not. he's going to want a wedding, if he knows about life more than you. and why is it embarrassing to get married? lol your family is going to find out, if you ever bring him around anyway. hehe and like someone said above me, "Wedding is a beautiful thing/event there's nothing for you to be embarrassed about."

by the way, it's just not Hmong American guys that are mean, want to be right and argue for everything. as long as they are Hmong and are Men. They are all mean in their own evil way. lol
I find guys in laos talk perverted.. and the ones in the U.S just want booty. what the heck?

and of course, he's going to live with you when you two get married. no hmong lao guy will marry a hmong anerican girl and not come to the U.S. hey, if you were to tell your bf, you want to live with him in Laos, would he still date and talk nice to you? just a thought.

I understand what you're saying. He asked me if I want to live in Laos. I said, "Hell No. But you can you live with me here in the US."

I rather not get married, but the problem is everybody is getting married--sisters, cousins, friends, they are left and married.
Anyway, men don't respect women if they are too naive or uneducated or simply have nothing to offer to them. Same with women, we wouldn't want any man who doesn't have anything to offer to us either. In a way, it's simply fair.

I definitely do not want a man to love me way too much to the point that he will come haunting me after he dies. LOL...
I tell ya. After seeing how much my grandmother went through, it was scary. My grandmother went crazy for a while. She started talking and cursing to something, which no one could see. I have an aunt who could see and tell about a person's past or future said that my grandmother was talking to her old boyfriend from ob peb tias tas los. He came back to get her because nkawv tau haus ntshas tev, etc... It was so scary. My grandmother is still talking to some unknown thing when she sleeps these days.

As for traditional wedding, I'm too embarrassed to have people come see me, so no traditional wedding or any kind. I'm not 18 anymore. So, the last 10 years of my girlhood already have been spent on thinking about many life issues.

I haven't met any Hmoob meskas who has done any good thing to me just yet. The first one I dated, he just wanted my money I guess. He never listened to me. All he wanted to do was play and play and play and play soccer. He put his fun before me.

Then I met someone and he said he liked me but ended up marrying within a couple of months just because I said I wasn't interested in him. At the end, he just wanted a wife. What the heck? I thought he was a nice and sincere guy.

I want to know someone from head to toe, from inside and out first before I say anything about like or love to that person. But a lot of men I met so far just wanted to start dating and falling in love without doing anything to get that love. They just wanted things quick and easy without much effort. All they can talk to you is just sweet words. I can't stand that. I want someone who has the brain to talk to me about many things from politics to love to dreams to family, etc...

This Hmoob nplog guy scares me a bit because I see that he is a better person than I am. He knows more about the world than I do, and he is always right. Other than that, he laughs at my jokes.

Something nice he has done for me: on Valentine's Day, he wrote and sang a song to me. He also has written and recorded a song for me too for my birthday recently. I don't usually trust men or probably has never trusted or cared much about men and their sweet words that they say to women, but I do trust this guy a little bit. Along our many conversations, I also said to him not to expect me to send him money, because I refuse. In addition to that, I told him that if he wants me, then he has to find a way to get me.

 

[mmm0403]

I like all of your answers mmm0403! You have good insight! I understand your decision and where you're coming from. The way we think about guys is so stereotypical but it's also very true. Wow, it sounds like the guy you're talking to sounds like an atypical man (in a good way) for you to feel like you want to marry him. Wedding is a beautiful thing/event there's nothing for you to be embarrased about. Starting a life together with someone should be celebrated. You should share it with your love ones. Anyways, I hope everything continues to work well in your relationship and Good-luck!

In the old days, men were needed to provide food for their family, but now, it seems like women are the ones providing food to the families. When I was in college years ago, my friends and I used to joke about becoming nuns or lesbians and forget marriage. LOL... Women--we only fall in love and blind by love when we're still naive in our youth. Once we get to the age of 24 - beyond, things start to change.

I much prefer to hang out with my group of female friends, but unfortunately, girls just can't be together forever.

 

[stephanie]

omg! so i just found out my uncle sent $2000 to the "orphan" girl he was talking to and she was married with kids and she used the money to buy a tractor or wht ever! lmao.

 

[mmm0403]

omg! so i just found out my uncle sent $2000 to the "orphan" girl he was talking to and she was married with kids and she used the money to buy a tractor or wht ever! lmao.

Hmong men here are so stupid. Well, let it be a lesson, but these old men just never learn. They continue wanting young girls.
Girls are scary. What have women become these days?
Cheating spouses deserve to be cheated. There is karma. You do bad things to someone, there will always be someone going to do bad things to you too. You cause someone unhappiness, there will be someone doing the same thing back to you too.

 

[pangnerlicious]

i know huh. the hmong Og's guys these days. omg. are still going for 17 or younger girls when they are in their 60's. lol

 

[YM_gurl]

I understand what you're saying. He asked me if I want to live in Laos. I said, "Hell No. But you can you live with me here in the US."

I rather not get married, but the problem is everybody is getting married--sisters, cousins, friends, they are left and married.
Anyway, men don't respect women if they are too naive or uneducated or simply have nothing to offer to them. Same with women, we wouldn't want any man who doesn't have anything to offer to us either. In a way, it's simply fair.

I definitely do not want a man to love me way too much to the point that he will come haunting me after he dies. LOL...
I tell ya. After seeing how much my grandmother went through, it was scary. My grandmother went crazy for a while. She started talking and cursing to something, which no one could see. I have an aunt who could see and tell about a person's past or future said that my grandmother was talking to her old boyfriend from ob peb tias tas los. He came back to get her because nkawv tau haus ntshas tev, etc... It was so scary. My grandmother is still talking to some unknown thing when she sleeps these days.

As for traditional wedding, I'm too embarrassed to have people come see me, so no traditional wedding or any kind. I'm not 18 anymore. So, the last 10 years of my girlhood already have been spent on thinking about many life issues.

I haven't met any Hmoob meskas who has done any good thing to me just yet. The first one I dated, he just wanted my money I guess. He never listened to me. All he wanted to do was play and play and play and play soccer. He put his fun before me.

Then I met someone and he said he liked me but ended up marrying within a couple of months just because I said I wasn't interested in him. At the end, he just wanted a wife. What the heck? I thought he was a nice and sincere guy.

I want to know someone from head to toe, from inside and out first before I say anything about like or love to that person. But a lot of men I met so far just wanted to start dating and falling in love without doing anything to get that love. They just wanted things quick and easy without much effort. All they can talk to you is just sweet words. I can't stand that. I want someone who has the brain to talk to me about many things from politics to love to dreams to family, etc...

This Hmoob nplog guy scares me a bit because I see that he is a better person than I am. He knows more about the world than I do, and he is always right. Other than that, he laughs at my jokes.

Something nice he has done for me: on Valentine's Day, he wrote and sang a song to me. He also has written and recorded a song for me too for my birthday recently. I don't usually trust men or probably has never trusted or cared much about men and their sweet words that they say to women, but I do trust this guy a little bit. Along our many conversations, I also said to him not to expect me to send him money, because I refuse. In addition to that, I told him that if he wants me, then he has to find a way to get me.

wow. Now, I can see why you don't like Hmong American guys. haha Its understandable and I know girl's that gets hurt a couple times and then refuse to date for a very long time, but in your case. You are fed up with Hmong American guys and chose to go with Hmong Lao, which is okay I guess. No one knows how hurt you are, than yourself.

I, too on other hand, like to take time my time to get to know a person rather then to talk, date and then get married lol

Well, that Hmong Lao guy of yours sounds like a pretty sweet guy. i hope everything goes well for the two of you.
Because of stories I hear and know, I don't like the idea of girl's in the U.S dating guys in Laos and Guys in the U.S dating girl's in Laos. Some are okay, while some are a disaster. Good luck to you both though.

 

[mmm0403]

wow. Now, I can see why you don't like Hmong American guys. haha Its understandable and I know girl's that gets hurt a couple times and then refuse to date for a very long time, but in your case. You are fed up with Hmong American guys and chose to go with Hmong Lao, which is okay I guess. No one knows how hurt you are, than yourself.

I, too on other hand, like to take time my time to get to know a person rather then to talk, date and then get married lol

Well, that Hmong Lao guy of yours sounds like a pretty sweet guy. i hope everything goes well for the two of you.
Because of stories I hear and know, I don't like the idea of girl's in the U.S dating guys in Laos and Guys in the U.S dating girl's in Laos. Some are okay, while some are a disaster. Good luck to you both though.

Yeah...I think he is sweet. Sometimes it just give me goosebumps. LOL... I'm at that age that love is just past due. Don't care much about that sweet love as much as other things anymore.

Well, I can't decide what I want, so it's better for me to date and marry someone from super far away.
I have a couple of choices:
1. Marry a Hmoob meska and have to deal with the mother-in-law everyday. My cousin's father-in-law used her $16,000 phij cuam to get himself a new wife from Laos. Disgusting! Mother-in-law just had enough and didn't care anything anymore after that. My sister told me about this girl who got married to this old guy from the USA. He was too old for her so she poisoned him. He died. Men never learn.

2. Marry a guy from Laos to live with me so I don't have to deal with the mother-in-law.

I like to keep my marriage and wedding quiet from family members. Don't want any traditional wedding. No food, no party, and no dinner for anybody. It's just about yes or no to marriage.

I guess the young Hmoob meskas guys are not that bad but when they meet educated girls, they are just scared. What the heck! They are too chicken.

Where I work, there are tons of young good looking and educated Korean and other Asian guys. Too bad they are not meant for me. I much prefer these guys at my company than any other guys but life is not fair.

 

[YM_gurl]

Yeah...I think he is sweet. Sometimes it just give me goosebumps. LOL... I'm at that age that love is just past due. Don't care much about that sweet love as much as other things anymore.

Well, I can't decide what I want, so it's better for me to date and marry someone from super far away.
I have a couple of choices:
1. Marry a Hmoob meska and have to deal with the mother-in-law everyday. My cousin's father-in-law used her $16,000 phij cuam to get himself a new wife from Laos. Disgusting! Mother-in-law just had enough and didn't care anything anymore after that. My sister told me about this girl who got married to this old guy from the USA. He was too old for her so she poisoned him. He died. Men never learn.

2. Marry a guy from Laos to live with me so I don't have to deal with the mother-in-law.

I like to keep my marriage and wedding quiet from family members. Don't want any traditional wedding. No food, no party, and no dinner for anybody. It's just about yes or no to marriage.

I guess the young Hmoob meskas guys are not that bad but when they meet educated girls, they are just scared. What the heck! They are too chicken.

Where I work, there are tons of young good looking and educated Korean and other Asian guys. Too bad they are not meant for me. I much prefer these guys at my company than any other guys but life is not fair.

hehe so your saying, your scared to live with your future mother in law. Who isn't? haha

Well, you know. I know some girl's who have very nice mother in laws. it's not all, that are mean. just some but i know what you mean. some mother in laws are VERY evil. lol I guess depends on luck. hehe

 

[mmm0403]

hehe so your saying, your scared to live with your future mother in law. Who isn't? haha

Well, you know. I know some girl's who have very nice mother in laws. it's not all, that are mean. just some but i know what you mean. some mother in laws are VERY evil. lol I guess depends on luck. hehe

That's just one little reason to the big reason. LOL. Actually, I have always wanted to move out and live independently. Most Hmong families have many family members. When you marry their son, you usually get to live with the parents, the siblings, other in-laws in the house.

I have tried to move out of my parents house to live by my own. I want my own house so that I can invite people to visit me. When you live with other family members especially elders, it's hard to invite friends to visit you.

I don't want to marry that much. I just need a companion since most of my friends and cousins all have husbands. It's just hard to hang out with them without a partner when each one of them has a husband. The atmosphere is a little just uncomfortable.

This is just written words. I haven't done them yet so who knows if they will actually happen. Good luck to me I guess.

 

[vanggirlie]

mmm0403 what will you do when/if you marry him and he is a citizen and wants to sponsor his family (i.e. his mother) to america? also have you ever thought about the fact that his family will ask for money after you guys marry and he is a citizen. if you refuse he thinks you don't love him or his family and will definitely cause a big problem in your relationship. if you are expecting him to send his money and not yours then it's gonna be hard on you cause he won't be able to help you much and probably will cause a big problem in the relationship too (even if you don't expect to depend on him). i was just wondering about those issues.

i do think there are good people and bad people (i.e. hmong people) in Laos, Thailand, and US. you just have to find the good people. i have seen a few young thai/laos girls that married to US guys and are good wives, daughter-in-laws, and in general a good person. altho i have heard most aren't that nice.

i was talking to a hmong guy in laos (when i visited laos) and he said that some of the girls that marry the hmong US guys are very forward girls (i.e. some are aggressive and forward with guys...poj laib-ish). when i was there, i could tell that there are some that dont' really want to come to america but their parents and family want them too. they also see the money and that usually push them to make the decision to come.

i do have to say that the guys and girls over there start flirting young. they have a lot of free time because they don't have homework (anyone high school and younger) and don't work much (except for when ua liaj ua teb) so they've got a lot of time to flirt with opposite sex. practice makes perfect. oh and it doesn't hurt that they have great bodies...lol... the guys are skinny but have abs and nice skinny muscle arms (they are very drool worthy bodies). the girls are usually skinny and toned. must be the food and the ua liaj ua teb.

 

[mmm0403]

mmm0403 what will you do when/if you marry him and he is a citizen and wants to sponsor his family (i.e. his mother) to america? also have you ever thought about the fact that his family will ask for money after you guys marry and he is a citizen. if you refuse he thinks you don't love him or his family and will definitely cause a big problem in your relationship. if you are expecting him to send his money and not yours then it's gonna be hard on you cause he won't be able to help you much and probably will cause a big problem in the relationship too (even if you don't expect to depend on him). i was just wondering about those issues.

i do think there are good people and bad people (i.e. hmong people) in Laos, Thailand, and US. you just have to find the good people. i have seen a few young thai/laos girls that married to US guys and are good wives, daughter-in-laws, and in general a good person. altho i have heard most aren't that nice.

i was talking to a hmong guy in laos (when i visited laos) and he said that some of the girls that marry the hmong US guys are very forward girls (i.e. some are aggressive and forward with guys...poj laib-ish). when i was there, i could tell that there are some that dont' really want to come to america but their parents and family want them too. they also see the money and that usually push them to make the decision to come.

i do have to say that the guys and girls over there start flirting young. they have a lot of free time because they don't have homework (anyone high school and younger) and don't work much (except for when ua liaj ua teb) so they've got a lot of time to flirt with opposite sex. practice makes perfect. oh and it doesn't hurt that they have great bodies...lol... the guys are skinny but have abs and nice skinny muscle arms (they are very drool worthy bodies). the girls are usually skinny and toned. must be the food and the ua liaj ua teb.

I don't really care about getting married or being in a relationship that much. My reason to get into it was because the gals I hang out with all got married. It's just doesn't feel right when you hang out with your friends/cousins but next to them are their husbands and you are just a single girl. It's a little uncomfortable.

Yeah...I already thought about that. I already thought about things like that already. Even if you marry a guy here, you still have to buy food and support his parents and siblings financially. You can't get away with either one by choosing here or there.


I guess he was the first guy I talked to I could respect and fear making promises with because his words were pretty strong. Marrying someone here has its own problems as well as marrying someone from over there.

Men are boring anyway. I just don't know if I can live with a guy for so long.

My mind just has not really made up. I keep changing my mind since I still want to do this and that, but I'm reaching that age now--either just get married and be done with it or become a nun and never get married. I don't know. Why do girls want to get married?

I was thinking maybe some guy who I loved in the past life didn't treat me well, that's why this life I have no desire to want to love or live with one. Oh well, I've better live to the fullest of this free lifestyle in this life--enjoy my freedom to do the things I want to do. I don't know what kind of life I'm getting in the next life anyway.

I have two choices that this Hmong nplog guy made me think: 1. do i want a guy who is older than me by age but thinks like a little boy or 2. a younger guy but thinks like an older man. It put me into some thinking that a younger guy who looks older and thinks maturely is probably a better choice than an older man whose brain can't even match up to a 12 years old girl. I like having a wise man whose brain functions and thinks better than mine. Gosh...it's harder to raise a grown man with a dead brain, even thought he is perfectly healthy, than a baby.

 

[vanggirlie]

mmm0403, if you feel that way about marriage then don't marry that guy in nplog teb or here yet. wait for the right one before marrying. divorcing sux even more then marrying, with all it's legality you have to go through. it's really not worth just marrying to marry. also have you looked up the process on marrying someone from out of the country. it's like more then $3000, that's with plane ticket and paying for the paperwork all the way till he gets his citizenship. you also have to make at least $19000 per year to qualify. also helping your in-laws in nplog teb is definitely much different then in america. i personally do not think it's the same at all.

i just feel that you shouldn't jump into marriage unless you have the special feeling for the guy and believe that marriage is really what you want.

i personally don't have anything against anyone marrying anyone from laos or thailand as long is you believe that that's what you really want and have looked at all the baggage that it comes with. the baggage is good and bad just like any baggage.

 

[mmm0403]

mmm0403, if you feel that way about marriage then don't marry that guy in nplog teb or here yet. wait for the right one before marrying. divorcing sux even more then marrying, with all it's legality you have to go through. it's really not worth just marrying to marry. also have you looked up the process on marrying someone from out of the country. it's like more then $3000, that's with plane ticket and paying for the paperwork all the way till he gets his citizenship. you also have to make at least $19000 per year to qualify. also helping your in-laws in nplog teb is definitely much different then in america. i personally do not think it's the same at all.

i just feel that you shouldn't jump into marriage unless you have the special feeling for the guy and believe that marriage is really what you want.

i personally don't have anything against anyone marrying anyone from laos or thailand as long is you believe that that's what you really want and have looked at all the baggage that it comes with. the baggage is good and bad just like any baggage.

No, I have not really think about the process. If I want to marry him, I would tell him to have his relatives help him get here and I'll just sign the paper work. I believe that a man has to work hard for a woman if he really wants to marry her or likes her. I'm not just going to easily say yes then start doing the paper work and pay for him to get here. A man has to show his worth to me first before I consider of marrying him. He gotta work hard and show me that his interest in me is sincere.

Love is just a dream. I rather marrying a man whom I can respect, able to joke, and share stories with than mr.romeo.
Actually, those guys in Laos are way educated and smarter than the guys in the USA. I guess I could marry this guy because he and I can talk about the same thing. We share many similar opinions of the world. He's educated enough to be able to talk to me about the things I want to talk about. As for actually marrying him, I will need to make sure if he and i can walk together on the same road and sit together on the same chair. If I can walk and sit comfortably with him, then I think I can manage to live with him for a long long time.

Also, I'm not 18 anymore. I'm going to be 30 soon. I have a good job. I have saved enough money to put down on a house. I know I still want to get my master degree, go travel here and travel there, be 18 years old, but I guess my dreams started to change as I got older. I don't know what's important to me anymore. Having money with no less worries and responsibilities or having a family--a husband and kids with lots of distresses and responsibilities? I have thought for for so many years but still stuck with this question. What is important to me? What do I desire the most? Money? Education? Children? No clue--

 

[vanggirlie]

mmm0403. Lol good luck finding a guy from Laos that you like and his kwv tij willing to pay to bring him over. that's once in a blue moon. Unless it's their son or brother they won't spend $2000+ on bringing them over. ....but you never know you might get lucky and his kwv tij will help out.

I think with the right guy, whether in America or laos/Thailand, you'll still want to marry him even if there's gonna be lots of hardships.

On another note. I heard about a young Hmong Laos girl married old Hmong USA guy. When she got to America and was able to work she started working but then met a white guy at work and had an affair with him. The white guy and her fell in love. The husband found out and had her deported. Now she lives in Laos with the white guy.

 

[mmm0403]

mmm0403. Lol good luck finding a guy from Laos that you like and his kwv tij willing to pay to bring him over. that's once in a blue moon. Unless it's their son or brother they won't spend $2000+ on bringing them over. ....but you never know you might get lucky and his kwv tij will help out.

I think with the right guy, whether in America or laos/Thailand, you'll still want to marry him even if there's gonna be lots of hardships.

On another note. I heard about a young Hmong Laos girl married old Hmong USA guy. When she got to America and was able to work she started working but then met a white guy at work and had an affair with him. The white guy and her fell in love. The husband found out and had her deported. Now she lives in Laos with the white guy.

I guess no matter what situation it is, you have to sacrifice something for something. I like him because he understands, listens, and thinks a lot like me. I haven't found anyone in the USA yet, and I don't think I will ever. These guys here have an easy life; they wouldn't understand anything. It's all about sex and partying. Urgh... Don't they have anything else to talk about? I guess I just don't have anything in common with guys here. I see plenty of cute/interesting guys at my work and here and there but just not meant to be.

As for money...it doesn't matter. Anyway, I don't want to owe anyone anything in life. I can pay for it and never owe anyone. I guess I just decided to get married because it's so annoying and uncomfortable hanging out with relatives having husbands. When going shopping or walking, their husbands also come along; since I'm not a either too young nor too old, so I feel so uneasy.

Oh well whatever...I just want to get married and be done with my responsibily as a woman in this life. Hopefully, I don't get to repeat again the next life.

I like the professional looking guys at my work place but it seems they are not meant for me.

If you wonder why I chose someone over there, the guys here are too americanized. They don't know anything about Hmong cultures. The ones that do are too traditional, perverted, and uneducated which just pissed me off. I'm attracted to educated guys with traditional values.

Thanks for your inputs.

 

[population1]

I would put my foot in and be honest. I am the mean Hmong man who will not buy any of the spewing tricks from these overseas Hmongs. My sympathy for the many other ill fated who fell victims, but nonetheless, there are many of them who'll scam. Those that marry overseas or plan to, are 1st generations (maybe a few 1.5 gen'ers). The rest can be solved -- there are plenty of young Hmong americans suitable... just try to stay away from western media as much as possible!!!

 

[pangmoua]

I guess no matter what situation it is, you have to sacrifice something for something. I like him because he understands, listens, and thinks a lot like me. I haven't found anyone in the USA yet, and I don't think I will ever. These guys here have an easy life; they wouldn't understand anything. It's all about sex and partying. Urgh... Don't they have anything else to talk about? I guess I just don't have anything in common with guys here. I see plenty of cute/interesting guys at my work and here and there but just not meant to be.

As for money...it doesn't matter. Anyway, I don't want to owe anyone anything in life. I can pay for it and never owe anyone. I guess I just decided to get married because it's so annoying and uncomfortable hanging out with relatives having husbands. When going shopping or walking, their husbands also come along; since I'm not a either too young nor too old, so I feel so uneasy.

Oh well whatever...I just want to get married and be done with my responsibility as a woman in this life. Hopefully, I don't get to repeat again the next life.

I like the professional looking guys at my work place but it seems they are not meant for me.

If you wonder why I chose someone over there, the guys here are too Americanized. They don't know anything about Hmong cultures. The ones that do are too traditional, perverted, and uneducated which just pissed me off. I'm attracted to educated guys with traditional values.

Thanks for your inputs.

I agree mmm0403, it's more like a give and take kind of thing with the overseas. I marry you and you take me to the US. I also agree that the ones here are Americanized or still too tradition. I mean why can they be in the middle, both, learn to adapt but not get a complete makeover. I know when you (a girl) reach a certain age, it seems like it's hard to get someone who will understand or is perfect in one's own definition or just simply start thinking about a family/future. I know i sometimes think of my future with a husband and kids but at the moment, i'm not quite yet ready.

lately it's hard to find a guy who is educated with traditional values, i feel like only the lucky ones will find those type of guys. I sometimes feel like you uneasy but i have too much things to take care of before settling down so I feel that when he comes, he comes. didn't they say everyone is meant for someone? that means that I'll get someone so i'm in no rush to get marry or anything. i feel like when he comes there will be some kind of bond or attraction between us.

 

[pangmoua]

I would put my foot in and be honest. I am the mean Hmong man who will not buy any of the spewing tricks from these overseas Hmongs. My sympathy for the many other ill fated who fell victims, but nonetheless, there are many of them who'll scam. Those that marry overseas or plan to, are 1st generations (maybe a few 1.5 gen'ers). The rest can be solved -- there are plenty of young Hmong americans suitable... just try to stay away from western media as much as possible!!!

I think that guys should learn from experiences they have seen or heard that happens to other people. I mean of all the stories of guys here in the US marrying girls from laos/thailand, how many of them actually have a long lasting relationship? Maybe you could say one out of ten or so will have a long lasting relationship with no cheating and divorcing. I feel this way, if you're a guy here in the US and no US girls want to date or marry you, what makes you think the one in laos/thailand will want to date/marry you beside using you as the mean to get to the US. are you willing to pay thousands (to get her here) and the relationship doesn't even last, not worth all the hard work put into getting her here. not to be mean but sometimes i just feel like the guys (who over and over or tempts to marry someone over there if not for love) needs to be smack in the head and use their brain to think before doing. i would think that by now many hmong american guys would learn and not be willing to use the hard earned money just because some laos/thailand say they're going to marry the guy.

 

[mmm0403]

I agree mmm0403, it's more like a give and take kind of thing with the overseas. I marry you and you take me to the US. I also agree that the ones here are Americanized or still too tradition. I mean why can they be in the middle, both, learn to adapt but not get a complete makeover. I know when you (a girl) reach a certain age, it seems like it's hard to get someone who will understand or is perfect in one's own definition or just simply start thinking about a family/future. I know i sometimes think of my future with a husband and kids but at the moment, i'm not quite yet ready.

lately it's hard to find a guy who is educated with traditional values, i feel like only the lucky ones will find those type of guys. I sometimes feel like you uneasy but i have too much things to take care of before settling down so I feel that when he comes, he comes. didn't they say everyone is meant for someone? that means that I'll get someone so i'm in no rush to get marry or anything. i feel like when he comes there will be some kind of bond or attraction between us.

I'm so tired of guys asking money from me to help them buy this and that for this and that. Maybe it's time to find a rich man then I don't get to ever hear them asking for money.
You're right, things just don't go the way you want. It's nice to meet a man who is educated with traditional values but doesn't have money but that ain't happen. At the end, it's a choice to choose. No one is perfect in every way. Maybe I should just become a lesbian falling in love with myself.

I don't know about you but I don't know anymore. I just want to get married and be done with it in this life but at the same time I don't really like getting married.

 

[population1]

I think that guys should learn from experiences they have seen or heard that happens to other people. I mean of all the stories of guys here in the US marrying girls from laos/thailand, how many of them actually have a long lasting relationship? Maybe you could say one out of ten or so will have a long lasting relationship with no cheating and divorcing. I feel this way, if you're a guy here in the US and no US girls want to date or marry you, what makes you think the one in laos/thailand will want to date/marry you beside using you as the mean to get to the US. are you willing to pay thousands (to get her here) and the relationship doesn't even last, not worth all the hard work put into getting her here. not to be mean but sometimes i just feel like the guys (who over and over or tempts to marry someone over there if not for love) needs to be smack in the head and use their brain to think before doing. i would think that by now many hmong american guys would learn and not be willing to use the hard earned money just because some laos/thailand say they're going to marry the guy.

Sorry for the late reply. You have a point, but I disagree when you said if/when Hmong girls in the U.S. don't like us then overseas Hmong girls will also. My view of overseas Hmong girls are that, as much as they want to come to the U.S., many of them are willing to put themselves in my hands (if I was to be a spouse). I know, as much as she knows, that she will not make it by without my love and care. For that reason, I don't mind if wanting to come to the U.S. is one of her reasons to marry me, so long as she is willing to be my loving, faithful, and caring wife -- with all good intentions, we will be commit to eachother and play our roles in a responsible relationship.