Hot & Spicy Instant...Husband?! ::Aum/Aff

cikna

sarNie Adult
Chapter 5

Aff walked few steps back and checked the shop again. She stood right in front of the shop and read the shop’s name again…and again…and again. At first slowly then very slowly. She was like a little girl who was learning how to read. Like the table and couches inside, the shop’s door was also heart-shaped and red. She placed her hand on the doorknob and twisted it. The door creaked opened and she entered the shop. There was no one inside the shop. The place was tidy. The carpet was red and so was the ceiling. Everything was in color red! Aff approached the heart-shaped table and saw a bell. She pressed the bell. Then, a man’s voice spoke. It sounded like Big Brother.(From the reality TV show, Big Brother.)

“How may I help you?� The voice asked her. Aff looked around to know where the voice came from. She looked under the table and under the couch but no body was there. Aff felt really weird about it.

“HEY! Who are you? Am I being Punk’d or something? Ashton Kutcher! Come out of there!’ Aff shouted.

“I wish I am Ashton Kutcher, but I’m not.� The voice answered her. Aff just raised one of her eyebrows and stared blankly on air.

“Then…Are you Big Brother?� Aff asked with curiosity.

“I am definitely not Big Brother.� The voice answered her back.

“Who are you then?�

“I am the great Matchmaker and I know that you are looking for a husband. My servant will be glad to serve you.�

A door on the back of the room opened. A guy wearing a red tuxedo came out. His hair was looks stiff. Not even one strand of hair was out of place. He was small and stout. Just like a little tea pot. :rolleyes: He approached Aff and greeted her.

“Good morning, ma’am. Please have a seat.� He greeted Aff and offered her to sit down. Aff was staring at the guy. The guy really looks weird. He looks like a penguin. A red penguin. Aff nodded and sat where the red penguin guy asked her to. He took out a pen and paper from his pocket.

“Ma’am, what kind of husband would you like to have?� The guy asked him as if he was a waiter. He handed a menu to Aff. She read it. At the top of the 1st page, the word ‘HUSBANDS’ was written. It was written cursively and the letters were perfectly embossed.

“Uh…I really don’t know.� Aff said while scanning the menu. She was still confused. She can’t believe that she was inside a shop that sells husbands and everything. She kept on scanning the menu and she was not even blinking at all. They really do have the chocolate-flavored husbands and also the sweet & sour one. They also have a garlic-flavored, pumpkin-flavored, vanilla, and all kinds of flavors and spices. Yes, they also have cinnamon-flavored husband. Aff was half-entertained, half-amazed and half-puzzled with all this flavored husband stuff.

“Having a hard time choosing, ma’am?� The red penguin guy asked her. Aff looked at the guy’s face and nodded. Then, the guy smiled back. Aff turned her face to the menu again. She was too shy to ask questions ‘cause she wasn’t really sure if she’ll buy one. Then, the red penguin guy spoke again.

“Feel free to ask some questions, ma’am.� The guy told her. Aff was really stunned. She can’t believe that the guy actually knew what she was thinking. She then cleared her throat and looked at the guy’s face. And she smiled.

“Uh…How come they have flavors?� Aff finally asked a question while she was pointing on the menu.

“The flavors would help you choose on what kind of husband you want, ma’am.� The guy answered her abruptly.

“What kind of husband I want?� Aff asked him. Then, she was silent for a moment. Thinking really hard on what kind of husband she really wants. Then, she spoke again.

“Well, I’m a single mom and I have a 4-year-old daughter. I want a husband who can be a good father for my baby. I don’t care if he looks ugly or whatev…�

“We only sell good-looking husbands, ma’am. Ugly ones are unavailable.� The red penguin guy immediately added.

“Is that so? Then, I want a good-looking guy that can be a good dad to my baby. I want an affable and responsible husband. And I want a guy who is not so young and not so old for me. Preferably, 25-30 years old. � Aff continued. While she was describing what she wants for a husband, the guy was jotting down almost every word that Aff utters. He was like a waiter taking orders.

“Do you need him immediately or not, ma’am?� The guy asked her.

“Yes. I need him as soon as possible.� Aff answered.

“Then, a hot & spicy instant husband is the perfect match for you, ma’am.� The guy answered her happily while pointing at the hot & spicy instant husband on the menu.

“He is very friendly and quite irresponsible, though. But he is very great with kids. He is also very easy to get along with. And he is the hottest and best-looking guy we have. Is that okay for you, ma’am?� The guy added.

“I guess so.� Aff simply answered him. But deep inside her, she kind of like that idea. Having a hot, good-looking, and not so responsible husband is not bad at all and besides she can teach him to be responsible, right?

“Then, just come back here anytime you want to get married, ma’am. Just bring the wedding rings and your wedding gown. Having a very crowded is not necessary. But if you want to, you can also have a wedding entourage. Just bring 2-6 witnesses if you don’t want a very crowded one. And a 3days/2nights trip to Phuket for your honeymoon. Remember, ma’am, NO RETURN, NO EXCHANGE. Once you said “I do� you can’t turn back. And you’ll have to pay a down payment right now.� The guy explained.

“Uh…Do you accept credit cards? I don’t have cash with me right now.� Aff told him.

“We certainly do, ma’am.� The guy answered and smiled. Aff took out her wallet and opened it. It has 6 credit cards in it and she took one out. She handed it to the guy. And the guy took it.

“Please fill in this form, ma’am.� The guy handed Aff a heart-shaped paper and a pen. After filling up the form, the guy took it and went to table. He pressed a button on the table and a heart-shaped cash register slowly appeared on the table. He pressed this and that and that and this. Then a receipt came out. He took it and handed it to Aff.

“Here’s your receipt, ma’am. Don’t forget to bring it on your wedding. And here is your card� Aff took the receipt and her card and smiled. She stood up and walked through the door.

“Goodbye, ma’am. See you again on your wedding day. Hope you enjoyed husband shopping with us!� The guy bid farewell and bowed. Aff went outside. When she was already outside, she just stood there for a whole minute. She was not moving at all. She was like a statue holding a receipt and a credit card on her hands.

“What was that?� She muttered to herself. She looked at the receipt that she was holding. She really can’t believe that she is really going to buy a husband. She can’t believe that she did the thing that she thinks was the most ridiculous thing in the world!

---TBC---
ubelievable!!! more update pls ;)
 

hanjieun30

sarNie OldFart
Chapter 8

It was already 2:00 in the morning and the sky was dark. Stars are beautifully twinkling in the night sky and the moon was still shining bright. It was really a beautiful night. The streets were almost empty. Only few people were awake. People who are heading home after a very tiring day. The newly wed couple was also heading home after their unexpected, unusual yet memorable wedding. It sure is memorable for them. How many times would you get married at 1:30 in the morning and your only guest was a security guard and the other one was a prostitute? Not all people had the chance to have that kind of wedding. And of course, not all people don’t want to have that kind of wedding.

“My days being a Lothario are over.� Aum sighed while sitting on the front seat of Aff’s convertible car, pressing almost every button he could see. Aff was quietly driving. Wind blew to her face as the speed of the car was increasing. She didn’t exactly heard of what Aum said instead she tried to focus herself on the road and really wanted to forget everything that just had happened. Destiny sure is playing a prank on her and its not funny anymore.

“Your car looks expensive. Delivering babies sure is a good business.� Aum muttered while still pressing this and that. He was really curious about the buttons. The traffic light turned red and Aff stopped the car. She turned to Aum and gave him an evil stare suggesting that he should stop what he is doing immediately or else. Then, Aum gave her a wide grin and stopped what he was doing. Since he was a little sleepy by now, he reclined his chair and lay down. He placed his one hand on the back of his head, using it as a pillow. He stared at the sky. While staring at it, he spoke again.

“It seems like you’re having a bad temper right now. Is it the time of the month?� Aum asked her. The traffic light turned green and Aff stepped on the clutch.

“Time of the month? What do you mean?� Aff asked him curiously while her eyes were still on the road. She was driving as fast as she can as if she was racing with someone else. After passing through the bridge, she slowed down a little. Then, in front of a gate, the car came to a full stop.

“You know, when women have their menstruation….� Aum was explaining to her while reclining the car seat back up but he was not able to finish his sentence when he caught a glimpse at a huge house a couple of meters away from them. 2 men came out and opened the gate for them. Aff drove in. Aum was astonished at the house he just saw. A very big beautiful house. It was just like Kawee’s house in Sawan Biang! laugh.gif At that very moment, he realized that he married a wealthy lady, a very wealthy, hot and sexy lady. When they were in front of the house, the car came in to a full stop. Aff went down and she headed to the door. Aum was still there in the car. With eyes wide open, he continued to stare at the house.

“Beautiful…� He muttered quietly to himself as if he was whispering, still staring at the huge house. Aff looked back and finds him staring at the house. She signaled Aum to get down. Aum then went down and went to Aff was. Aff quietly opened the door, not wanting to wake anybody up. She entered quietly and so did Aum. They were like burglars entering. Quietly and steadily. Aum’s eyes widened even more when he saw the inside. Everything in the house fits in perfectly and looks beautiful and elegant. Aff went upstairs and Aum trailed in.

As they were heading their way to the second floor, Aum noticed a portrait which was hanging in the middle. A portrait of a woman around her early 50’s wearing a white gown and elaborately beautiful jewelries. By her looks, he could definitely tell that she was a millionaire. She was sitting like a queen. Her smile was very refreshing. Aum stared at the portrait. She was indeed beautiful, just like Aff.

“Ms. That’s-my-food, how are you related to her?� He pointed curiously at the portrait. Aff looked back and looked at the portrait and looked straight to Aum’s eyes. For some reason, his heart was beating so fast the moment their eyes met. It was the very first time that their eyes met and he thinks that her eyes were beautiful. She smiled and answered his question.

“She’s my mother.� She said gently. She continued to walk and stopped in front of a door. Aum was still staring at the picture. He knew where Aff got her good looks.

“Is she here right now?� Aum asked while still staring at the portrait.

“She’s in New York right now. Busy with her company and stuff.� Aff answered him.

“Hey! Stop staring at my mom’s portrait. It might melt.� Aff told him and he took his eyes off the portrait and approached her.

“I would like you to meet my daughter.� She said to him, almost whispering. Aff opened the door quietly and went in her daughter’s room. Aum followed her. The room was dark and the only light on was the Hello Kitty lampshade on the side tables. A beautiful little girl was sleeping on her bed. She was just like an angel. Aff kissed her on the forehead quietly, not wanting to wake her up.

“Is she really yours? She’s just like an angel and you’re not.� Aum who was standing on the end of her bed whispered. Aff glared at him. She kissed her daughter again and went out. Aum followed her, trailing like a dog.

She stopped again in front of a door which was beside her daughter’s room.

“And this is MY room.� She emphasized the word my. Aff opened the door and went inside. Aum peeked in the room. The room looks magnificent with its high ceiling and carpeted floor. It was like a queen’s bed chamber with a modern touch. Aff laid down in the bed and sighed. She was really tired and wanted to take a rest. Aum sat on the couch and looked around. He then turned his attention to Aff.

“Your mom is so rich, why do you bother to work?� Aum asked her. Aff stood up and sat beside Aum on the couch. She took one pillow and placed it on her lap.

“Well, since I was kid I really wanted to be a doctor and besides I love my job.� She simply answered. Aum looked seriously at her. Aff was really hoping he would say something nice.

“You love looking at others’ vagina? You’re such a weird woman!� Aum commented back. Aff stood up and thrown the pillow he was holding on Aum’s face.

“YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING PERVERT!!!!!!!!!� Aff shouted at him. She went to the bathroom and washed up. Aum took off all his clothes. Now, boxer’s shorts were the only piece of clothing on his body. He lay down on the bed and waited for Aff to come out. Aff walked out from the bathroom and saw Aum on the bed.

“What are you doing in my bed?! Get off!� Aff approached him and dragged him out of the bed.

“Hey! Where would I sleep then? On the floor?� The naked Aum asked her. Aff sat on her bed.

“You’re going to sleep on the guest room!!� Aff shouted at him again. Aum didn’t like that idea.

“You want your daughter to see her Mama and Papa sleeping in separate rooms?� Aum asked her. Aff never thought of that. Arisoya would sure ask so many questions if they don’t sleep in the same room. Aff agreed and Aum was so delighted.

Aff glared at him again. She has no choice but to sleep beside her perverted husband. She went to the bed and took the blanket. Then she took a pair scissors and cut the blanket into two.

�What are you doing?� Aum asked her while looking at the blanket.

“Are you blind? Can’t you see I’m cutting it into two?� After cutting the blanket, she gave the other half to Aum and she took the other half.

She sat on the bed, took the pillows and arranged them on the middle of the bed, making it a barrier between them. Aff finally laid down and started to sleep. On the other side of the bed, Aum laid down too but didn’t bother to sleep. He stared at the ceiling instead.

“Go to sleep now. We’ll talk about your job tomorrow.� Aff’s voice sounded very sleepy. After a couple of minutes, she finally dozed off. But Aum was still wide awake. He just lay there for an hour. When he knew that Aff was already sound asleep, Aum took out the pillows on the middle of the bed and set them aside. He stared at Aff’s face for a very long time. Her face was undeniably beautiful even without make-up. Like her daughter, she’s also like an angel. He suddenly felt a strange feeling on his heart. A feeling that no exact words can describe but one thing is for sure, the feeling felt good. He gently ran his hand on Aff’s cheek. Her skin was so soft and smooth. He took Aff’s hand and held it a little tight. It was soft but cold like ice. His hand was warm enough to make it warm though. Aum adjusted her face to his side. He could see Aff’s lips. He could still remember when he kissed Aff on her clinic. Even though it was a sudden kiss, Aum felt that Aff’s lips were warm and sweet. He continued to stare at her lips while holding her hand. And without even thinking, he slowly kissed Aff’s soft lips. It wasn’t a very passionate one but still it made Aum’s heart leap for joy. He then slowly pulled away, not wanting to to disturb his wife’s sleep. Aum was staring at Aff’s beautiful face

“Please don’t kill me for stealing a kiss from you.� He whispered and smiled. He pulled his body closer to Aff’s and hugged her tightly. He finally dozed off, holding his new wife on his arms.

---TBC---
 

pze

sarNie Adult
this is good....its so funny....im loving it....keep it coming....ill be reading for sure....
 

aikoden

♥DREAMER♥
Staff member
wow.. i finally caught up with this one keke.. woot woot hot. i love it donna hah.. i would be like damn.. bi n aum keke.. haha love them both woot woot.. xp keke..
 

aikoden

♥DREAMER♥
Staff member
hahahah i'll jus post some random pixies keke lmao.. haha..


keke..
hahaha... RAIN.. keke.. gotta love him keke.. hahah hmmm y am i postin up rain keke.. haha i cant help it keke..
credit goes to orignal owners.. xp..
 

aikoden

♥DREAMER♥
Staff member
kekeke.. omg .. hahaha .. i wanna ride with him.. woot woot.. xp keke..




credit.. to original owners.. xp.. kekek..

edit.. omg.. i own post 69 .. lmao.. haha.. kkekekeke.. xp.. woot woot..
 

tastesweetlove

sarNie Granny
aiko those pictures are HOT.....donna i love it..it's so funny..aum is so hilarious....vagina :loool: have a good night donna...tsk tsk tsk staying up so late sleep tight and sweet dreams
 

hanjieun30

sarNie OldFart
Chapter 9


It was already 11:00 in the morning and yet the newly wed couple was still in bed, fast asleep. Aff slightly opened her very sleepy eyes as the sunlight started to pass through her bedroom window then closed her eyes once again and hugged her pillow tightly. Why is her pillow hard and it seems like breathing? She immediately opened her eyes to know what was wrong. She found herself resting her head on Aum’s bare chest and her arms were wrapped around his body. Aum’s arms were also wrapped around hers. Aff removed her arms around him and was about to free herself but Aum embraced her more tightly embracing her like a pillow. Aum finally opened his eyes and found himself hugging his wife tightly. He slowly looked at Aff’s face and found her glaring at him. As fast as he can, he removed his arms around Aff’s body, stood up and immediately ran through the door. Aff also stood up and ran after him.

“AUM CHUMNANONT!!!!!!!! COME BACK HERE!!!!!!!!� Aff shouted while she was running as fast as she can. Aum continued to run around the house, only wearing his boxer shorts and Aff was coming after him. The maids who were busy cleaning stopped what they were doing and stared at them. All of them were confused on what was going on. Arisoya, who was just finished taking her bath, opened her door and went outside to see what the shouting was all about. She saw her mom and a naked man running around the house.

“Mama….� Her sweet voice caught her mom’s attention. Aff saw her daughter and she immediately approached her.

“Good morning, my princess.� Aff kneeled down so that her daughter could reach her and kissed her on the cheek. Sweat was all over face and she was catching her breath.

“Good morning, Mama.� She kissed her mom on the cheek and giggled.

“Mama, who’s that mister over there?� Arisoya pointed Aum who was approaching them. Aff looked at where Arisoya was pointing and looked again on her daughter’s face. Before Aff could answer back, Aum was already there.

“Good morning, my little angel! Papa is home!� Aum also kneeled down so that Arisoya could reach her and gave her a smile.

Arisoya looked at him on the eyes, smiled, and hugged him tightly. Aff was pleased at what she just saw. Aum looked at Aff.. His eyes seems like he was asking what to do. Aff motioned him to hug the little girl also. Aum did what Aff told him and he also hugged the Arisoya. Aum loves kids and loves hugging them but when he embraced Arisoya, he felt something different. He felt as if he has known the little girl for a very long time. He felt as if Arisoya was his own daughter.

Arisoya broke their embrace and looked at her papa.

“Papa, why aren’t you wearing any clothes?� The little girl asked.

“I was so sleepy last night that I even forgot to wear my pajamas.� Aum answered her back.

“Why are you and Mama running around the house a while ago?� Arisoya asked him again.

“Oh…Mama and I were exercising a while ago. Right Mama?� Aum looked at Aff and smiled at her.

“Yeah! Papa and I were exercising!� Aff answered and smiled back.

“Arisoya, can you go to Aunt Rita’s room and tell her that Papa is already here?� Aff asked her daughter.

“I will, Mama!� Arisoya obeyed her mother and went to Rita’s room..

Aff grabbed Aum’s arm and dragged him back to her room. When they were already on her room, Aff locked the door, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she looked at Aum who was now on the closet, looking for clothes to wear. He was looking through a woman’s closet so basically, he can’t find something that was fit for him.

“Sexy Mrs.Chumnanont! Will you lend me some of your clothes?� Aum asked her as he was looking through her closet. Her closet was huge! It was a walk-in closet that was big enough to be a bedroom. Dresses, pants, blouses and almost all kinds of piece of clothing were in there. Shoes of every color and style were also in there and also a huge collection of expensive hand bags. Aum was amazed at the sight of those things. How much will it all cost if he would sell every item of the closet? It must’ve been a huge amount of money!

“Don’t call me Mrs. Chumnanont!� Aff shouted at him. Aff walked inside the closet.

“What are you doing?� Aff, whose hands were on the both sides of her waist, glared at him. Aum grinned back.

“I’m looking for clothes to wear. I forgot to bring mine!� Aum answered back while still looking through the closet. He spotted a beautiful dress and brought it out.

“Oh! What a pretty dress!� He was trying to sound like a woman but he was not even close it. He sounded like a parrot. Aff chuckled.

“Put that right back!� Aff ordered him and he immediately placed it back. She went to the other side of the closet, took a bath robe and handed it over to Aum.

“Here. Use this.� Aff handed it over to Aum and he wore it. The length of the bath robe was short for him. It was a little above his knees but who cares. Beggars can’t be choosy. Aff went out of the closet and sat on the couch. Aum followed her and also sat on couch across Aff.

“Okay, I’ll tell you your job here and simple rules that you have to follow here.� Aff began to talk while Aum was listening attentively.

“Your main job here is to act as Arisoya’s father and not as my husband. When we’re in front of Arisoya, we should act like husband and wife but when she’s not around, we don’t know each other. I’ll give you money if you did your job well. Got that?�

“I guess so.� Aum replied.

“And now, the rules.� Aff spoke again.

“Number 1. Be a good father to Arisoya. Please just be good to her and don’t make her cry.� Aff explained.

“Number 2. Don’t meddle with my personal life and I won’t meddle with your personal life either. You can have romantic relationships with the opposite sex and once you’ve found your uhm… soulmate we’ll immediately get a divorce. Any questions?�

“Yes I have. What if I don’t find my soulmate? No divorce?� Aum was teasing her. Aff just stared at him for she did not know what to answer.

“Well…Let’s just see what happens when that time comes.� Aff answered him simply.

“Do you want to add more rules?� Aff asked him. Aum stood up and sat beside Aff.

“Oh! I’m fine with that but I’ll give you warning.� Aum told her.

“Warning?�

“Yes. A very important warning.� Aum slowly moved his face towards Aff’s, bringing it closer and closer.

“Be careful. You might fall.� He was still bringing his face closer to hers. But Aff was not moving her face at all instead she just looked at Aum straight to his eyes.

“I might fall?� Aff asked him quizzically.

“Yes. You might fall in love with me.� Aum’s face was now so close to Aff’s face and both them looking through each other’s eyes.

“I’m not stupid enough to fall in love with a guy a like you.� Aff spoke gently and gave him a devilish smile.

“Who knows? Maybe one day, when you wake up you’ll suddenly realize that you’re so deeply in love with me.� Aum answered back with a seductive tone of voice. Their face was really close as if they were about to kiss. They were staring at each other for a very long time then Aum suddenly began to laugh. And Aff laughed as well.

“Let’s add that to our rules.� Aff suggested while Aum was still laughing.

“Hey! Stop laughing and listen to me!� Aff shouted at him.

“What?!�

Aff cleared her throat, sat up straight and spoke again.

“Rule number 3. We should never ever fall in love with each other!� Aff stated the last rule. She didn’t know that Aum was already little by little breaking the last rule. If she only knew that Aum kissed her last night and is still planning to steal another kiss tonight and next night and the next after the next. Aum smiled while thinking about Aff’s wonderful lips.
 

cecilia

Staff member
i couldn't' make the poster as i don't' know what the plot is about.
good thing i came and read it b/c it really is good.
i'm speechless.. i love the light comedy in here. keep up the good work.

***btw. i hope you make him rich or something ... hidden identity ..
could it be that he was crazy for Aff in the past b/c of the one night stand.
so all these are up to his scheme? --

I really hope Arisoya was not the METRO SEXUAL man, maybe it's just her assuming it.
and the real daddy is AUM -- b/c he was such a player flirtatious man when he was young.
AND coming back to have all these suppose 'fate/destiny' encounters as his way of getting/making up to aff.

anyway, i love the HUSBAND FLAVOR concept. it's freakin' hilarious :loool: .. can't wait to read more ..
 

hanjieun30

sarNie OldFart
i couldn't' make the poster as i don't' know what the plot is about.
good thing i came and read it b/c it really is good.
i'm speechless.. i love the light comedy in here. keep up the good work.

***btw. i hope you make him rich or something ... hidden identity ..
could it be that he was crazy for Aff in the past b/c of the one night stand.
so all these are up to his scheme? --

I really hope Arisoya was not the METRO SEXUAL man, maybe it's just her assuming it.
and the real daddy is AUM -- b/c he was such a player flirtatious man when he was young.
AND coming back to have all these suppose 'fate/destiny' encounters as his way of getting/making up to aff.

anyway, i love the HUSBAND FLAVOR concept. it's freakin' hilarious :loool: .. can't wait to read more ..
let's just see what happens... :rolleyes:
 
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