I need your advices because I want to kick my sister-in-law out of the house

[rukmos]

Maybe you should send her to "How to be a better person 101" and maybe she'll learn something.If only there was such a class!

Like some members said, your husband or MIL need to take care of this problem. They need to set some ground rules and stick with it or else she's going to be breaking all of it soon.

As far as her failing the driving test, Does she really want to get her license or is she just playing around and wanting others to chauffer her? She's educated so I don't think that taking the driving test is that hard for an educated person unless their slow in the mind.

One thing I hate about Hmong people is that they gossip and talk about things that are none of their business. If you can't stand your husband's sister anymore, you should have the right to kick her ass out the door because you are the NYAB and it's your family and you have to do what's right.

Let us know how things are...

 

[mydeepscar]

I heard a similar case like yours but vice versa and I know there are always dramas between in-laws so I am not suprise. When different people come to live together there are always conflicts and we need to deal with these conflicts. Think as an experience and opportunity for you to learn and to grow so your mind wouldn't explore because of her...But sorry, I have to ask some questions, is she really on the phone 24/7??? that's a little too much, how could a person talk on the phone that much? and if she hits her son so much then your in-law should have done something about it?...sorry I have to ask you question...I am just curious about it that there are such a person like this exist too...maybe my world is too small and I had not met people on the phone 24/7 so it's a little difficult for me to understand. Also if she keeps stealling your stuffs collect evidence and prove to your in-laws, I am sure they will do something about it with the evidences you provide. Get the evidences to prove that she is stealling so if you want to kick her out, no one can't blame you. If you don't want to go the harsh route then you can just move out on your own. There are always two paths for us to choose in any situation...when they are bad to us...we do the same back to them or we take the other route and move away from them...it all up to you to choose because you are in the situation you know better than anyone of us...I hope you good luck and get over this situation...so you can find your peace.

yes, she talks on her phone 24/7...different guys from different state.....u can hear her talk 3 or 4 am in the morning...she is the first people i see that can talk while using the bathroom and sometime she run out of word, they will just stay on the phone listen to each other do thing...err...her phone bill is soo high that she borrow money from us couple times... not even going to ask her to pay back....my in-laws yell her for hitting her kid but she will talk back said it's her kid and for them to shut up...I recorded her stealing my stuff and my in-law is speechless now...since they always think i just didn't like her....I can't move out because my husabnd and I just bought that house and my in-law are living with us and she just move it since March and she won't go away after my husband and I talked with her...she act like she didn't hear us....gosh! but thanks for your advice!

 

[u00htg2]

This is going to sound so harsh. . . Can't you pack her stuff, leave it out, and change the darn locks? I know that's mean, but she's never going to learn unless something drastic happens.

And I can't believe she abuses her child like that. I feel sorry for the child. People should NEVER have children unless they're committed and willing to sacrafice for that innocednt sould they brought into the world.

 

[nothinghill]

This is going to sound so harsh. . . Can't you pack her stuff, leave it out, and change the darn locks? I know that's mean, but she's never going to learn unless something drastic happens.

And I can't believe she abuses her child like that. I feel sorry for the child. People should NEVER have children unless they're committed and willing to sacrafice for that innocednt sould they brought into the world.

TO THE AUTHOR OF THIS POST:

THE HOUSE IS YOURS, Y WASTE IT ON YOUR SIS N LAW? IT WILL BE SAD IF THE CHILD DIES AND YOU KNOWING THAT YOU COULD'VE DONE SOMETHING (REPORT IT TO CPS) TO PREVENT IT, BUT DIDNT.......

AS IT HAS HAPPENED IN THE PAST....I WORK IN THE FIELD AND HAVE SEEN IT....EVEN WITH HMONG FAMILIES!

 

[lakorndemon]

TO THE AUTHOR OF THIS POST:

THE HOUSE IS YOURS, Y WASTE IT ON YOUR SIS N LAW? IT WILL BE SAD IF THE CHILD DIES AND YOU KNOWING THAT YOU COULD'VE DONE SOMETHING (REPORT IT TO CPS) TO PREVENT IT, BUT DIDNT.......

AS IT HAS HAPPENED IN THE PAST....I WORK IN THE FIELD AND HAVE SEEN IT....EVEN WITH HMONG FAMILIES!

ouch...kinda harsh...my friend's brother was child abuse when he was 4 and he became mentally crazy and emo!!!
It's sad that someone like their relatives have stopped it when the boy is already broken down to pieces...
now his parents live in thailand and never came back for the two of them...
really sad...
if i am a mother, i would never ever abuse my child ever!!!
for those who do abuse their child...I CURSE THEM TO HELL!!! :angry:

 

[nothinghill]

ouch...kinda harsh...my friend's brother was child abuse when he was 4 and he became mentally crazy and emo!!!
It's sad that someone like their relatives have stopped it when the boy is already broken down to pieces...
now his parents live in thailand and never came back for the two of them...
really sad...
if i am a mother, i would never ever abuse my child ever!!!
for those who do abuse their child...I CURSE THEM TO HELL!!! :angry:

THAT IS WHY EARLY INTERVENTION/PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN LATER (WHEN THE DAMAGE HAS ALREADY BEEN DONE).....

 

[mydeepscar]

So yesterday, I saw her hit her son again and I told her I will report her to the police if she don't stop, so i picked up the phone and about to dial the number, she came to snatch the phone away and start to yell that i should just mind my own business...me and her start going at each other...my in-laws came to room and start yelling at us...I was so mad...I explained to my in-laws that she live in my house and if she keep on hitting her son for every little things i will report her....so my mom-in-law start yelling at her and they argue for a long time...I can't take it anymore...her son is almost three and he doesn't even know how to talks...errr...my in-law told my husband that I should not report her because she is our sister-in-law and it's not good if she goes to jail....my husband and my in-laws start to argue too...I just want to move out the house....errrrr....so I don't know what to do....should i just mind my own business so I won't be stress out?????

 

[YM_gurl]

So yesterday, I saw her hit her son again and I told her I will report her to the police if she don't stop, so i picked up the phone and about to dial the number, she came to snatch the phone away and start to yell that i should just mind my own business...me and her start going at each other...my in-laws came to room and start yelling at us...I was so mad...I explained to my in-laws that she live in my house and if she keep on hitting her son for every little things i will report her....so my mom-in-law start yelling at her and they argue for a long time...I can't take it anymore...her son is almost three and he doesn't even know how to talks...errr...my in-law told my husband that I should not report her because she is our sister-in-law and it's not good if she goes to jail....my husband and my in-laws start to argue too...I just want to move out the house....errrrr....so I don't know what to do....should i just mind my own business so I won't be stress out?????

My advice to you, it's her kid. let her beat her kid all she want, i know it hurts to see someone beat their kid
up but your the sister n law in the house.
**HMong shiet* If you snitched her out, you will be a bad nyab & blah blah blah & it goes on forever.

This is something about the Hmong people, "she's family, so don't do that," What the hell.
Hmong people are stupid.

This is what you can do, what i think.

1. You can live with it, deal with it. mind your own business, even if it's hard. just ignore the drama.
2. Move out & mind your own business. (What you don't see, hear and know. Won't hurt you)
3. Deal with it, threaten your husband sister to stop beating her kid or you will report her to CPS. Even if that is going to make you a bad nyab. When you think about it, you are doing the right thing.
4. Tell the Dad of the kid, what the mom is doing. If the dad loves the kid, he will do something about it.

Your in law's needs to open up their eyes and accept the truth that they have a irresponsible daughter, if they keep her there and shelter her, she will never learn. She needs to take care of her son, if she wants to be irresponsible in life. She needs to give her son to the dad. Maybe the kid will have a better life with the dad than to be with her.

-keep us updated!

 

[nkaujhmoob08]

I haven't read your statement below but the title of your thread, yes...i find its attractive in somewhat..lol
why did you want to do that? its not nice unless you got the right to do so..

 

[oldpenny]

ok yeah that sucks that she say you're fat when in truth, a size 1 and 3 is thin! you are thin! btw ignore her remarks. And that is her mom and dad's house, you cant say much. Just be quiet and if it bothers you, then move out. If you talk some more, they will hate you.

 

[candi]

I dont think there is anything you can do about it, because even if you say something to her, she will just ignore you. The people that can do something is your MIL and FIL...or even your husband too.

I hate it when people steal my stuff too. My older sister use to do that. I had to lock my closet and room everytime I leave the house. We got along now because I moved 5 hours away so she can't take my stuff anymore.

Best advice is move out if you cant deal with it anymore.

 

[lakorndemon]

omg...i really hate it now...

 

[mydeepscar]

Guys, She finally got her DL now but she still can't get a job. she never work in her life before so they only want the one who have a little job background *sigh* I can't move out because it's my house ( We just bought it last year) anyway.. HAPPY NEW YEAR, be safe this holiday

 

[narita4u]

A country, there is a constitution, a president; there is a house, there is head of household. Someone got to be the ruler in that house otherwise, everyone will take charge that is exactly what you are saying here.

have you husband read this note that there must be someone who in charge of the family. Even a grocery store, the wife or the husband has to lead that store. You take care this, I will take care that. This is mine and that is yours. Things have to be cleared that separated. Your husband relatives, he is in charge, your relatives, you have to lead. If you deal with his relatives then there will create an unsolvable problem. Let the one who related deal with them so things will be easier. You cannot kick her out b/c husband's job is to deal with and you have to go through him. If your sister, then he cannot kick her out either and you have to deal with. This is how things should work out.
There must be a meeting in the family and someone has to be in charge and take the job from there. if there is no one can lead the meeting or consult the problem then ask an outsider, a relative who is well-respected in your husband's side to lead the meeting the divide the job take should take what and on..
Good luck.

 

[genn04]

wow...this is a tough story...but since ur the nyab majority of the time its better unsaid than it is to say it in her face what u need to tell her. your husband should have the right to put this piece of trouble she is giving u guys a hard time on the table and get her to talk throughly with the family. ones with the RIGHTS is your husband because he is the son in the household as for ur sister in law she is part of the family still, but like the olds says once your married off you are no longer taking advantage of your parents life.Your husband have the right to convince your parents in law whether to keep her or kick her out and for you also have your rights too, but as a nyab if you speak out one word the world will go after you depend if your mother-in-law's on your side or not. mother in law's are always on their daughters side whether or not the daughter is good or bad, mean or nice. the main enemies in the house are always the Niam Pog(mother-in-law), the Muam(sister-in-law), and the Nyab(Daughter-In-Law). Remember that!

 

[milacute04]

you need to kick her out asap... she's turning the family in an uproar... you seriously need to kick her out and if anyone who's living with you is telling you no cuz she got no place to go, then they need to leave with her... it's your house and it's your life...

 

[lakorndemon]

know what...if she still beating her child, i'll say tell her a story (true story btw) about a mother who abuse her child a long time ago...
and when that child grows up, he doesn't really care about her mother anymore and doesn't support her...
he also left her in the hospital and never visited her...she regretted later and died soon after missing her own son she beats up...
then ask her these question...
Does she want her child to be like that? Abandon her as if she a monster in his sight? To never thought his own mother is a holy light that cared and defend for him? Does she wanted to be lonely and have the thought that her own son wouldn't be missing her and wouldn't even care if she's dead or not???
If she have some senses and love her own son, then she would think before hitting again...
BUT...if she doesn't have any senses and started yelling at you for some stupid reason...
then i'll say just call her an ass and think, hoping her own son would abandon her when he grows up like in the story...
And i'll also say you're a great nyab for taking all these crap...lol...if it was me, i would have strangle her...
well...peace out...need to do work around the house...lol...

 

[mydeepscar]

know what...if she still beating her child, i'll say tell her a story (true story btw) about a mother who abuse her child a long time ago...
and when that child grows up, he doesn't really care about her mother anymore and doesn't support her...
he also left her in the hospital and never visited her...she regretted later and died soon after missing her own son she beats up...
then ask her these question...
Does she want her child to be like that? Abandon her as if she a monster in his sight? To never thought his own mother is a holy light that cared and defend for him? Does she wanted to be lonely and have the thought that her own son wouldn't be missing her and wouldn't even care if she's dead or not???
If she have some senses and love her own son, then she would think before hitting again...
BUT...if she doesn't have any senses and started yelling at you for some stupid reason...
then i'll say just call her an ass and think, hoping her own son would abandon her when he grows up like in the story...
And i'll also say you're a great nyab for taking all these crap...lol...if it was me, i would have strangle her...
well...peace out...need to do work around the house...lol...

Thank you so much for that story,

well yesterday I took her to the store and I told her that what if one day, her son abandon her because she always beat him up, will she regret that?

She went on and say, she already know he will not love he when she get older that why she don’t want to love him right now and because he is a son, oneday, he will go look for his dad and move out so it’s pointless to love him. I was soooo shock, I told her that if she give him enough love he will never going to abandon her, because his dad doesn’t want him, they told her to keep her son and if she happen to be married one day, she can change her son last name ( that is so sad) I feel sorry for her son.



Update of the situation: My husband is man enough to have a family meeting, letting my MIL and FIL know that it’s been one year since my sis-in-law lived with us (I allow her to stay with us because my MIL told me it’s for 2 months ), she need to take control of her own life, get a house and move out. My MIL went on and crying that I disrespect her daughter just because she is single mother. Errrrrrr. The meeting end pretty bad with some argument ( I kept my mouth shut while she yelling at me and my husband)….She told everyone that my husband is not men enough and he is kiss up to me and I’m the one who told him to do everything…yea right I can’t even tell him to do anything at all…I feel like crying right now, they just give me the look and won’t come eat dinner with us last night…If I know married life is this hard, I would just live by myself….with all these going on in the family….my husband and I are not in good term anymore….HELP…

 

[lakorndemon]

Thank you so much for that story,

well yesterday I took her to the store and I told her that what if one day, her son abandon her because she always beat him up, will she regret that?

She went on and say, she already know he will not love he when she get older that why she don’t want to love him right now and because he is a son, oneday, he will go look for his dad and move out so it’s pointless to love him. I was soooo shock, I told her that if she give him enough love he will never going to abandon her, because his dad doesn’t want him, they told her to keep her son and if she happen to be married one day, she can change her son last name ( that is so sad) I feel sorry for her son.



Update of the situation: My husband is man enough to have a family meeting, letting my MIL and FIL know that it’s been one year since my sis-in-law lived with us (I allow her to stay with us because my MIL told me it’s for 2 months ), she need to take control of her own life, get a house and move out. My MIL went on and crying that I disrespect her daughter just because she is single mother. Errrrrrr. The meeting end pretty bad with some argument ( I kept my mouth shut while she yelling at me and my husband)….She told everyone that my husband is not men enough and he is kiss up to me and I’m the one who told him to do everything…yea right I can’t even tell him to do anything at all…I feel like crying right now, they just give me the look and won’t come eat dinner with us last night…If I know married life is this hard, I would just live by myself….with all these going on in the family….my husband and I are not in good term anymore….HELP…

omg...tell her that is not true at all (sorry, i'm more worry about the child cause i have enough friends that had experience enough child abuse in their past). Tell her that as a mother, the child will actually look up to her more since she's a single mother now. Her child will learn to listen to her more (but give her a hint not to get him spoil) and will actually bond with her since she is a single mother. Science has tested monkeys on these things before, i mean come on!!! The son will love her if she starts loving him too. If these saying doesn't work then i'm out of ideas naturally. <

COOL QUOTES I LIKE THAT RELATES TO THIS TOPIC...LOL...:

Quoting Tendou from Kamen Rider Kabuto:

"Children are treasures. The greatest sin in this world is to damage those treasures."

"A bond is a deep connection that can never be broken. Even if apart, heart and heart are still connected."

and if she's still stealing then this quote is for her form Tendou as Kamen Rider Kabuto:

"People who steal things lost something even more important."

lol...love it...
as for your parents, i think they're too nice to let her go...which is a good thing cause they still love her but the bad part is that they love her too much that they fail to see her flaws...even i could recognize it just by reading this topic and everyone's comments...but of course i don't blame your parents...at least they know how to love their children more than she does...anyway, i might talk too much but talk to your parent for a compromise as if "if she does this then we'll let her stay" cause naturally she's doin nothin around the house right???...lol...well, i'll be back later...so much work to do...keep everyone update when something happens alright... ^_^

 

[gurlie]

well..let me tell you:
1. Your husband or father in law or mother in law should have step up a long time ago (if the family choose to let her behave like that in their house then they deserved whatever she do to them)
2. If your husband really fell the same as you then, you guys would have move out long ago
3. If you guys can't move out because no money then, you will have stay and suffer (maybe this will motivate you to work harder in life to be more independent so you guys can move out)