Intercultural wedding

Liberty

sarNie Adult
This is just a hypothetical question. I'm not getting married or anything. I have no plans to for a while.
But I got back from an intercultural wedding and it got me wondering how certain weddings will turn out.
The wedding I went to was for my boyfriend's cousin. They're Chinese but the groom is Caucasian (notice I didn't say "American" because they're both American). Anyway, it was a nice wedding, very simple, quick and memorable.
They started out with the traditional American/Western wedding with the whole tux, white gown, etc.
Then after the bride and groom got their first dance and the bride had her dance with her dad she went to change into her traditional Chinese outfit. That's what she wore for the rest of the day. For the most part it was very American except when she changed her dress and the little sign in thing for the guest but that was it. The wedding was nice in that they added a lot of personal touches. They had the wedding in Austin where they met and drove off in a burnt orange mustang with a long horn logo. They met at UT Austin. I thought it was cute. :)

It was the same way when my aunt married her husband. She did the traditional white dress and changed into her Laotian outfit. My other aunt did it the opposite way.
I noticed that a lot of Asian-Americans do this even if they marry someone of the same culture.

Now...my question is, how does that work if you have an intercultural wedding where the couple maybe both Asian but of different ethnicity?

I've always wondered if maybe the groom's family expects the bride to wear their cultural garb. If so then what about the bride's cultural dress? Then if you're an American and the bride wants a white dress too, then what?

So how would you do it if you were in that situation?
What have been your experiences with intercultural weddings?
 

lady0fdarkness

Professional Lakorn Watcher
In May, I attended my sister's wedding. Her groom is 75% Chinese and 25% Lao and of course we are 100% Lao. The wedding was a traditional Lao wedding where my sister wore her Lao outfit through out the whole day, but later changed into a white wedding gown. As far as the Chinese part, I just saw a lot of of those Chinese red envelopes being passed around.

I think when it comes to multicultural weddings, it's really up to what the groom and bride decides. In my sister's case, she wanted a Lao wedding, and the groom made her wish come true.

If it were me, I've always wanted a church wedding where I'm dressed in the traditional American white gown. The Lao part will be saved for the reception party.
 

fun

YGfamily
I know of someone who is Chinese married a Hmong girl. There was 3 weddings, 2 days. The first one was him going to her house and doing I guess the Hmong wedding that took a day. The Chinese man is a close friend of my aunt, so I only heard this from her. He paid $5,000 for her (dowry)... that took a day. The next day, they did a Chinese and White wedding because he is also half White where they did the walk down the isle, and dance etc. That was the first half of the day since it started in the early afternoon. The rest of the night, they both changed into Chinese outfit (yes not just the bride, he too was wearing them) for the rest of the night. I know that they spent a whole lot of $$$ on 3 weddings.
 

Liberty

sarNie Adult
Damn 3 weddings is a bit excessive.
I heard Indian weddings last a week.
The wedding I went to over the weekend only lasted about 3-4 hours and it ended by 3pm. People hung around until 4 though.
I love the venue because it was at nice resort overlooking Lake Travis.
My best friend's wedding was so unbelievably long. It started around 10 am and didn't end until almost 1am. Basically the stayed until the restaurant closed.

If it were me...
Hm...I'd definitely go with the white dress. My family is very westernized but like Lome I'd probably change into a Lao outfit during the reception. I'd probably change it up a little too. I'm not really into the traditional looking ones, there's just too much going on for me. Of course if I do the pre-wedding blessing thing then I'll wear the Lao outfit then and skip it for the reception.
 

KhoOnxNouxWanxJai

Staff member
My friend is getting married in a few months and she is Lao and her husband to be is Cambodian/Thai mixed. His parents are divorce so they were fighting over whether to have the wedding Cambodian or Thai style lol.

In the end they decided to do Thai, Lao, Cambodian style. The wedding will take place from Friday to Sunday night they have made a schedule of times when things will take place. On Sunday night they'll have the reception.

I guess it isn't that bad because all three cultures are very similar so it wouldn't be so difficult I suppose
 

ChenrukNote

Goddess
Yeah I think it depends on the bride and groom as to what kind of wedding they want to have and also the parents (because they usually but in lol). Usually in my culture, the girls families get the upper hand and get to choose what kind of wedding they'll like and the guys family agrees or compromises.
 

Babyt

sarNie Elites
well when i got married last month, my husband is thai and i am khmer, but he went my way and did the whole traditional khmer way on Friday and saturday was the reception, he wore his tux and i had on khmer outfits to greet the guests and changed to my white gown...i think u can do it however you want it..i changed into my last khmer outfit to walk around the tables after cutting the cake and first dance (in my white gown) then after i changed back into my white gown for the rest of the night.
 

Liberty

sarNie Adult
Weddings are expensive for just one day.
How do you the couples that have done it for multiple days pull it off?

When I get married I (as well as the groom) plan on paying for the wedding ourselves.
I don't want my parents paying for it and I sure as heck don't want the groom's parents to pay for it. The main reason being that when someone else pays for it they feel like they have more say as to how the wedding "should" be. My best friend's in laws were pushy before but then they offered to pay for the wedding and her Mother in law went Hitler on her. So they ended up just paying it for themselves to avoid the drama.

I wanna get married in a Scottish castle. haha It's going to cost a heck of a lot so I doubt that will happen, especially when most castles that rent out don't hold that many guests. The most I saw was about 250 and my family is huge. Of course if I have it in Scotland (doesn't matter who I marry) it means less people are able to come which could work out.
 

yajvaj

sarNie Adult
i have a cousin who is Hmong, she got married to a hispanic guy and at their wedding the bride wore hmong clothes, the groom in a tux and later on she just changed into a white wedding dress and there was just some hispanic bands there. my niece she is married to a cauasian and they had the western wedding but during the wedding they included the bacci. they just explained what it is.
 
i've been to weddings where the bride and groom basically changed outfits a maximum of three times throughout the evening, and also to weddings where the bride and groom technically had 2 or 3 different weddings (since they had one cultural type per day).
 

Liberty

sarNie Adult
I went to one over the weekend. My uncle finally married his girlfriend of over ten years. I was starting to wonder if they'd ever get married. They were already living together. Anyway, she's Viet, the Catholic kind so that was interesting.

My best friend is Viet and Catholic and her ceremony wasn't nearly as long.
I'm guess my uncle had to go through some ritual and schooling for Catholicism to be able to marry in that church. I know they're very strict about that because they actually require you to have proof that you've gone through communion and everything, it's why I couldn't be my friend's kids' God mother. I'm not Catholic.

Anyway, our side of the family had to bring gifts over to the bride's family's house and do all sorts of traditional stuff their way. Then we went to the church and did the whole Catholic thing and then off to the reception. The reception was nice the DJ played a mix of American music, Laotian, Thai and Viet.
 
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