Lao tradition for funerals

[Nae_jai_leaw_lur]

Ok my grandpa just recently died, and we had to do this ceremony for him...like most of the guys from within the family has to be a monk for one day. They have to shave there eyebrow and hair all off and then they go chant with the elder monks, it's like loosing all your bad sins and starting over again but for the girls they just had to put on something all white and tie there hair up. So they guys had to follow the elder monks around all day, and they have to chant all day long and cannot go near the girls...if the girls are on there way the girls are force to move away and let the monks go first. And if that's not worse enough yet, the young monks have to wear those golden robes around the whole day or until they bury or creamate the body...but the sitting parts sounds pretty hard for most of those that have to sit all day long.

 

[missjoy]

it's a great form of respect for the desceased if a boy gets ordained for them or if a girl becomes a nun. I've had to become a nun before for one day whe my relatives pass away.

Only someone younger than the deceased can do this.

Is suppose to push them closer to heaven and give them more luck and happiness in their next life. So the more the merrier!!!

 

[Rakniran]

yup thats the way they do it. Then later at night ,everybody gather around at the house and gamble. Playing card all night long for three days or even for seven days,but is kinda scarey.Sometimes,u feel cold like theres a spirit or the ghost around u. Is kinda scarey to be at a laotian funerals home. I been to one or two and it was scarey. I dont go anymore. I'm a coward. Only go to my relatives funerals since is family thing cus i have too. The rest i refused to go cus im scared of the ghost. They are pretty scarey. hard to explain,but i'm scared.

 

[Rakniran]

oh,my uncle die on 2003 then grandpa die on 2004 and now my cousin die on 2005..too many peoples die in the family..

 

[Thookatha]

yeah, the gambling thing...haha...when i first saw this, i was like, "what?! someone just died!", because we had never done that when someone died in my family...but then my mom was like, "haha, it's normal, that's the way people get something sad, like a death, off their mind. it's also a way of letting your deceased spirit know that they can leave in peace (they won't see anyone upset or sad)."

then, i was, like, "ohhh..." LOL

 

[Bou]

i hate funerals...too sad...but i love the way we do our lao tradition for a funeral..it shows alot of respect for the one whose passin..yea laos party afta funerals or weddins or bdays etc are pretty crazy haha...gambling drinkkin singing!

sorry for ur loss Rakniran

 

[noiki]

For me i don't think it's weird b/c you're paying respects to someone you love. Plus, the whole becoming a monk or nun thing is if you want to do it, no one is going to force you to do it. Then, everything you do makes sense even tho people may see it as uncomfortable, you wanted to do it so it doesn't matter if you can't eat after a certain time or touch certain people. I mean real monks and nuns do that for their entire life so what is a day compared to a lifetime? My bro did it 3 times already for our grandparents and I got to do it once. The point of doing it is to not cleanse your own sins but to cleanse the sins of the deceased person. But by becoming a monk or nun, you receive good karma in return.
The whole gambling thing is weird, but then again, old people are always gambling.

 

[Keomany]

but the sitting parts sounds pretty hard for most of those that have to sit all day long.

[post="20019"][/post]​

yep that how we do it too...yea the sitting is hard..i always have problem..need to swith like every half hour...lol

 

[soupansa]

Ok my grandpa just recently died, and we had to do this ceremony for him...like most of the guys from within the family has to be a monk for one day. They have to shave there eyebrow and hair all off and then they go chant with the elder monks, it's like loosing all your bad sins and starting over again but for the girls they just had to put on something all white and tie there hair up. So they guys had to follow the elder monks around all day, and they have to chant all day long and cannot go near the girls...if the girls are on there way the girls are force to move away and let the monks go first. And if that's not worse enough yet, the young monks have to wear those golden robes around the whole day or until they bury or creamate the body...but the sitting parts sounds pretty hard for most of those that have to sit all day long.

[post="20019"][/post]​

yeah that day was very sad for us. and if we cry, then it's bad luck. i tried not to cry. but, yeah...it was hard for me to stay at gramp's house gambling with auntie tia and them cuz i was scared outta my ass. i thought the sitting part was sooo hard!

 

[~Sandy~]

Also, the more ppl you have to "boudt" where a male become a monk and female become a nun "mae kow", that will help the decease go to heaven and leave in peace. I've had way too many deaths in my family, year after year in this order, my grandfather, my great uncle, my father, and my uncle has passed away. So i've been there with the nuns. It's really not that bad.

About the gambling and playing cards. I can say my whole family play cards and gamble, almost every single day. But never at a funeral. Its sorta disrespectful, besides its a funeral not a party.

 

[Thookatha]

Also, the more ppl you have to "boudt" where a male become a monk and female become a nun "mae kow", that will help the decease go to heaven and leave in peace. I've had way too many deaths in my family, year after year in this order, my grandfather, my great uncle, my father, and my uncle has passed away. So i've been there with the nuns. It's really not that bad.

About the gambling and playing cards. I can say my whole family play cards and gamble, almost every single day. But never at a funeral. Its sorta disrespectful, besides its a funeral not a party.

[post="29529"][/post]​

hehe...people don't actually play cards or gamble AT the funeral. they do that at the home of the person who is hosting the funeral...which is usually a family member. and it's actually to show the decease respect in terms of helping them leave "earth" worry-free. by coming together to "play games" or "celebrate", the decease will see the display of happiness and "go" in peace.

 

[~Sandy~]

Thookata, I know u dont do it at the funeral, the gambling does take place at the "huin boon" the house hosting for the funeral. I understand that. Maybe you misunderstood me, i meant "during a funeral". I've been to "huin boon" that does gamble and "celebrate" for the decease, but like i said, my family doesn't do that. Yes there's a gathering, we talk and a laugh, think of the good memories the decease did in their liftetime. But the gambling part, we just leave out for a birthday party or house warming, etc.

 

[noiki]

well i know the folks i saw they were playing cards, i dunno if they were exchanging money for it tho but i know that folks seem to do that a lot. i understand if u were there to help out all day and just need to relax but i dunno about those who do nothing but just come and play cards

i think what's worse is when folks try to hit on other folks at the "huen dee". when our grandma passed away me and my cousins had to be at the house to help around. and there was this stupid idiot that came to hit on my cousin while she was working and the girl was freaked out (she's like underage and he's i dunno OLD!) but yeah that's just messed up b/c i have no idea what he thinks the thing was for but that was just disrespectful to our family

 

[Thookatha]

Thookata, I know u dont do it at the funeral, the gambling does take place at the "huin boon" the house hosting for the funeral. I understand that. Maybe you misunderstood me, i meant "during a funeral". I've been to "huin boon" that does gamble and "celebrate" for the decease, but like i said, my family doesn't do that. Yes there's a gathering, we talk and a laugh, think of the good memories the decease did in their liftetime. But the gambling part, we just leave out for a birthday party or house warming, etc.

[post="30505"][/post]​

haha...wow, really? my family doesn't do the gambling thing either. i've only seen other people do it at their house. i figure, people just picked gambling instead of doing other things because it was common among the lao and asian traditions, in general. but yeah, that's weird if it at the funeral? 555

at least we know people really do have fun when they are playing...LOL...it may not be the best thing, but that's the way it been for a long time, i guess. 5555

 

[~Sandy~]

i think what's worse is when folks try to hit on other folks at the "huen dee". when our grandma passed away me and my cousins had to be at the house to help around. and there was this stupid idiot that came to hit on my cousin while she was working and the girl was freaked out (she's like underage and he's i dunno OLD!) but yeah that's just messed up b/c i have no idea what he thinks the thing was for but that was just disrespectful to our family

[post="30520"][/post]​

OMG, i know what u mean! I totally hate that. And most of the time, u don't even know who this OLD dude is. Sometimes you wonder how in the world does our family know him, to come to our house all drunk hitting on the younger girls. And it's totally disrespectful.

 

[kitkat]

ohhh that's how it works? no wonder because i get those sometimes but i never have been a nun before...my little brother did it twice..he was like only less 10 years old! :huh: so please don't embarrass me because my families had tried to explain it to me but i just couldn't understand it when they speak lao since i'm deaf. -_-

it's strange... my brother got to be monk when someone who had died, their family will choose whoever they want them to be monk...i think that's how my brother was chosen...some of my young cousins, too...for nuns, my older cousins usually ask for it because they're very close to that someone more than i do...it's hard for me to stay close with families who couldn't use a communication with me...

oh about gambling, honestly, i hate when my families do that because it's just waste of money... they could do better than that...mostly, my mom's side family. also parties, it's okay as long as they don't waste on money...i'm kind of person who like to save bucks for good reasons..not just ease pains...

sorry..i'm not that kind of traditional person...but i do know what's good and bad. i never go to temple much...even my close cousins wanted me to go but i didn't... it's just boring because maybe i just can't understand what they chant, talk in lao.

 

[~Sandy~]

It's ok KitKat, even though u dont understand it or participate in it, doesn't mean you're a bad person.

Usually to become a monk/nun, you have to immediate family member of the decease.

 

[kitkat]

It's ok KitKat, even though u dont understand it or participate in it, doesn't mean you're a bad person.

Usually to become a monk/nun, you have to immediate family member of the decease.

[post="35012"][/post]​

phew that's relief...i sound like bad person. LOL

 

[noiki]

yeap ignorance doesn't make u a bad person. personally, my parents have never let me go to funerals of people i wasn't related to or very close to, it's normal. and also u should only be a monk or nun if you want to be one, not because anyone forces you to be. and it's also okay if you do want to be one but don't get to be one. like my dad when his mom died, him and my uncle couldn't be a monk b/c there was too many things to take care of so they asked their sons to do it in their place for their grandma and that works out fine.

 

[OnlyU]

I don't think it's weird too. When my mom passed away all my brothers have to become monk and my sis and I have to become nun. I was very honored to do that, I feel that that was the least i can do. Yep we payed respect for 7 days- gambling for 7 days and around my house was just smoked (this is the part that i hate)... than after that we have to do another ceremony after the 100 days she passed away. I like the lao funeral it's very unique!