Laos Weddings

[tye-niranh]

I think Laos weddings are so fun! Yep, everyone get drunk and the food is delicious! I don't go to many weddings though because my husband isn't a people-person. Used to go with my friends all the time but then I got tired of people always asking "where is your husband" so I stopped going. I guess married people are supposed to go to places like that together.

 

[missjoy]

that's funny...

I am not married, but I am sure that question is brought up anywhere you go and your hubby is not in sight! right?

 

[2cute2care]

I think Laos weddings are so fun!  Yep, everyone get drunk and the food is delicious!  I don't go to many weddings though because my husband isn't a people-person.  Used to go with my friends all the time but then I got tired of people always asking "where is your husband" so I stopped going.  I guess married people are supposed to go to places like that together.

[post="88328"][/post]​

haha you sound like my sister, her husband isn't a people person either, thats why she doesn't go to lao parties too,

and i totally understand what u mean by people asking where's ur husband, my sister and my mum get it sometimes whats weird that the next day there are stupid rumors that they are fighter or going to break up (which is never true)

but i get a little freak going to lao parties without a group coz weird guys always come up to ya, and won't get lost


though i really like lao wedding when it also mixed in with other cultures too, such as chinese/ lao wedding, its so colourful and there is sooooo much food to eat ...yummmmmm

 

[slee00]

I have never been to a lao's wedding,,,,but I think I'd better prapare myself for one since my son is dating a lao's girl! So tell me more about how the wedding going....do I get to pay for the wedding or the girls parents pay for it? and I pay for the food or is there a bride price like the hmong culture? I told my son we just have an american wedding but I think her parents wants a traditional lao's wedding since she is the only girl! so tell me more!

 

[missjoy]

It all really depends on both sides. For my sister's wedding, the guy came up with the dowry money and then the cost of the wedding is was split between the bride and the groom themselves, not really involving the parents... This what usually happens nowadays, unless the kids can't afford it themselves.

Depending on how traditional (or greedy) the brides parents are, it's usually the groom side that's suppose to pay for everything.

 

[tye-niranh]

If I could do it all over again, I would pay for my own wedding...My husband's parents for the whole wedding so they dictated how everything was going to be...We didn't have a say in much...His mom picked everything! The flowers, food, decorations, scripts, time of wedding, etc.

 

[saobomp]

yes lao weddings are amazing i think. the pretty sint the bride wears, the jao paup and the other guests traditional outfits are lovely. the long chanting but meaning ful for the bride and groom. the groom and his parade to get into the door. the obstacles he has to face across each door. all those hard cooking food that are prepared, the wonderful band. some people would enjoy if they are into the culture and knows what the meaning of it. having fun celebrating with the bride and the groom.

yes many has changed their lifestyle. they want to walk the ailse i guess. it seems good but i rather have our lao wedding. i had a wedding 2002 and it was great. just the way i wanted. the whole traditional wedding and ended with a lil bit of american dresses but that was it. no ailse for me but just my dad walking me around the dance floor in front of my guest. it was the happinest day for me.

 

[azntgr]

sigh....lao weddings, i love the food, but since i'm not a ppl person i prefer not to go to them. i think they're boring. i can't do anything but sit there and baby sit because my parents are too strict. i usually avoid them or find an excuse not to go to them. last one i went too since forever was last year, my cuz's. my dad threatened me to go because he's favorite niece was getting married. XD it was so depressing, because almost everyone had on dark colors, and i come in with an exceedingly red dress. i felt like the nang rai of a lakorn. -____- than i was sent home early because my mom thought my dress was too revealing, even though she chose it herself. gosh parents. i'll think i'll go on and keep on avoiding any sort of wedding.

 

[iamnowhere]

sigh....lao weddings, i love the food, but since i'm not a ppl person i prefer not to go to them. i think they're boring. i can't do anything but sit there and baby sit because my parents are too strict. i usually avoid them or find an excuse not to go to them. last one i went too since forever was last year, my cuz's. my dad threatened me to go because he's favorite niece was getting married. XD it was so depressing, because almost everyone had on dark colors, and i come in with an exceedingly red dress. i felt like the nang rai of a lakorn. -____- than i was sent home early because my mom thought my dress was too revealing, even though she chose it herself. gosh parents. i'll think i'll go on and keep on avoiding any sort of wedding.

[post="113321"][/post]​

Oh that's so sad!!!

Personally, I avoid going to lao wedding altogether. Too many parents watching your every moves. It's not fun. I have strict parents also. Yeah, they loosen up as i got older. They want me to run with the bad crowed when i was younger. Now that i'm older, they're expecting to set me up with some nice lao boy. So I don't go to any weddings. But apparent I can't go to a Khmer wedding without being watched either!! and I'm not even Khmer.

 

[natty]

question #1: (pertaining to some) Why do laos people feel the need to invite the whole village, city, and state to the wedding?

question #2: Why is it when an invitation is sent out inviting so and so and family.. the family seem to consist of friends, cousin, aunts, uncles, the whole generation?

question #3: Is it really necessary to invite over 200 people of whome you do not even know?

question #4 (last question): Is it not disrespecting and embarrassing to give the bride and groom $15 or less for their wedding?!


lol i asked all this because my friend married a laos girl and that was the 4 thing he complained most about..

 

[anan]

question #1: (pertaining to some) Why do laos people feel the need to invite the whole village, city, and state to the wedding?

question #2: Why is it when an invitation is sent out inviting so and so and family.. the family seem to consist of friends, cousin, aunts, uncles, the whole generation?

question #3: Is it really necessary to invite over 200 people of whome you do not even know?

question #4 (last question): Is it not disrespecting and embarrassing to give the bride and groom $15 or less for their wedding?!
lol i asked all this because my friend married a laos girl and that was the 4 thing he complained most about..

[post="121433"][/post]​

to reply to your questions:

1 - it is easy to answer, Lao ppl. theuu lai lai.... supposing that you have 100 friends and relative less or more direct... if you invite only 20, what the rest gonna think about u ? not probably directly the couple, but your parents...
In some case, it is for helping "na-ta" of the new marrieds parents, in other case, it is about receiving benediction from elders etc... and at the same time, getting money to pay back this urge wedding(foods, invitations cards etc...)

2 - This question is more about tradition, and lao society. Western society tends to be individualist, while Asian included Lao is more about communitarism values.

3- Sometimes, it is more your family's choice(and probably obligation). and u can't do nothing about that i guess...

4- LOL... you will probably say "khee thee nor ?"

 

[noiki]

question #1: (pertaining to some) Why do laos people feel the need to invite the whole village, city, and state to the wedding?

question #2: Why is it when an invitation is sent out inviting so and so and family.. the family seem to consist of friends, cousin, aunts, uncles, the whole generation?

question #3: Is it really necessary to invite over 200 people of whome you do not even know?

question #4 (last question): Is it not disrespecting and embarrassing to give the bride and groom $15 or less for their wedding?!
lol i asked all this because my friend married a laos girl and that was the 4 thing he complained most about..

[post="121433"][/post]​

lolz natty for reals! that's why my sis' ceremony in hawaii will only have 25 people. the 200 or so is for the reception and half of those people are close friends of the bride and groom. a good number is my parents friends who they feel DESERVE to come to their first born daughter's wedding. and the rest? well they're all my crazy relatives that are coming up from so-cal. not to mention, people be bringing their kids to the thing too. we made everyone rsvp, no more of this crap of just showing up without telling us. and like anan said, it's all about face, and i'm sure it's like that in a lot of other communities too. basicallly, whatever u do affects ur parents' image in the community.

we broke the lao mold on the invitations, she had a simple and elegant one that listed only the parents and her and her fiance's name. plus a separate lao insert for those who can't read english (namely my parents' friends)

yes, it is embarrasing to give someone only 15 dollars for their wedding. why? cuz it cost more for them to invite ur cheap self to the wedding!!! that's why the people we invited are i would say, wouldn't mind spending some money on really close friends. i may only be the sister, but if i had a friend who i was really close with getting married, it really wouldn't matter how much i spent on a gift for them. there's actually some type of formula i saw somewhere saying this, but it's not scientific lolz. plus, that's also why u register so you get gifts that you want not some random weird things.

 

[saobomp]

question #1: (pertaining to some) Why do laos people feel the need to invite the whole village, city, and state to the wedding?

question #2: Why is it when an invitation is sent out inviting so and so and family.. the family seem to consist of friends, cousin, aunts, uncles, the whole generation?

question #3: Is it really necessary to invite over 200 people of whome you do not even know?

question #4 (last question): Is it not disrespecting and embarrassing to give the bride and groom $15 or less for their wedding?!
lol i asked all this because my friend married a laos girl and that was the 4 thing he complained most about..

[post="121433"][/post]​

my answers: (1&2) the people that came are friends and families that we wanted to come to give us blessing see that we're being wedd. to share our joy and happiness that day.

(3) we only invited people we know not because we want money in return. that getting back to help pay back was not on my list. i just wanted that day to be right and perfect and everyone to enjoy and have fun.

(4) i seen some that were no name or unknown for 20.00, 10.00 and less. to me if my friends and close ones cames that's good enough for me. that makes my day.
(4)

(2)

 

[dfemc]

lolz natty for reals! that's why my sis' ceremony in hawaii will only have 25 people.

she's married?! :shock: wows noiki...i'm so outdated aren't i. hey could you pm me her addy so i can at least send a congrats! B) you only have one older sis right??? :unsure: just want to make sure i got the right one in mind.

if it's who i think it is, ^_^ tell her i wish her the best.

 

[2cute2care]

question #1: (pertaining to some) Why do laos people feel the need to invite the whole village, city, and state to the wedding?

question #2: Why is it when an invitation is sent out inviting so and so and family.. the family seem to consist of friends, cousin, aunts, uncles, the whole generation?

question #3: Is it really necessary to invite over 200 people of whome you do not even know?

question #4 (last question): Is it not disrespecting and embarrassing to give the bride and groom $15 or less for their wedding?! 
lol i asked all this because my friend married a laos girl and that was the 4 thing he complained most about..

[post="121433"][/post]​

1
to announce that their child is getting marry and to show off...lol

2
coz if you don't invite one there will be hell to pay

3
yes, because often a wedding is usually about your parents friends as much as your own.

4
you have to give what you hope to get back someday when one of ur relative get marry etc break it even so to speak- well that's what my dad thinks anyway

 

[~Sandy~]

2cute2care...sounds just like my dad as well.

If you have more than 200 ppl show up to your wedding, means your parents is a well known & respected person, so when they die, you can expect the same ppl to attend your funeral giving you the respect they deserve. I finally understood this at my father's funeral. Many ppl showed up from all over the states. Same thing they did for my brothers wedding 10 years before my father's funeral. At first i didnt understand either why would someone drive 18 hours just for a Saturday wedding...

Giving $15 can be embarrassing, but not everyone can give more than that. It's the thought that counts. You plan a wedding, and yes u might be paying $40 per plate to invite that person, but you're not suppose to invite that person thinking they should give u back your $40 for their plate. But what you give will be something u get back. The bride and groom will remember how much you gave, and would probably only give the same when its you or your family's wedding.

 

[Reagan]

laos should stick together and have gatherings, wedding invite as much people as possible that you and your parents know, so they can enjoy it with others, and you can enjoy it with them, let others enjoy your wedding as you'll enjoy it,

 

[~Sandy~]

Well said Reagan. Short, Simple, and Deep.

 

[natty]

alright.. i understand now.. thanks to those who answered.. it was really a curiosity.. not making fun or anything... i've been to 2 laos wedding... and it just boggles my mind that there's just soooo many people, then with just the "please come take a picture" takes over an hour.. especially when the host keep announcing for you to come up like 4-5 times (i think once or twice is ok.. anything after that you're just plain rude to keep waiting).. and when i asked the bride and groom about it, they always tend to say "i dont even know 80% of the people here, they're all my parents acquiantance".... but i guess that's for all asian and probably as well as other culture too.. weddings arent all about the bride and groom but actually about the parents..

 

[anjos]

I had a question...... what is the different between laos wedding and thai wedding???????