Living in hell

kvang

sarNie Egg
hey guys,

well...my life suckz sooo bad. I have been married for a year now and have a baby boy. My mother-in-law is soo evil. You know those mother-in-laws that tell people you don't do anything or call people to come over just to say mean hmong shits to you. Well...my is like that. She has three daughter in laws and I am the bad luck one. I live with her!!!!!!!!!!! I hate her!!!!!!!!!!!! She can't even help or do things like cooking and etc anymore because one of her leg and arm doesn't work. When I cook for her, she will not look at it or eat it. BUt!!!! She cries in the middle of the night and say she is hungry and etc. When her daughter and son in law comes, she tells them that her stomach hurts because she was hungry or say like oh the food I ate made it hurt. She makes me look like I am sooo bad. MY damn freaken husband sees how shw is too but he just yells at me and tell me to do my job. I can't even cook because no one watches my son and he is only 3 turning 4months. I have to sacrifie cooking for my dying mother who won't even eat the food that I cook for her over my poor crying son. The thing that hurt the most is that I don't even get to eat most of the time. I got soo skinny that my friends think its bad but what can I do???? Peopl think she is losing her mind and etc because she has all these kind of problems but hell no!!! I live with her for a whole year 24 seven, I know she is not!!! because my stupid husband wants me to take care of his mean mother who he thinks is soo nice. She would call my other sister in law the one that she likes to come over and this other evil khang lady. When my sister in law cooks for her, she would eat all the food and talk nice to her but to me hell no. She is an evil mother in law. She doesn't like me and the other one because we are shorter and not tall or big like the one she likes. She be saying to her that she is tall and pretty. Mess-up mother.

Gosh you guys..........I hvae no one here. When I cry, I have no one to cry to or talk about my sad life. I want to move out soo bad because I cannot live like this any longer. I feel like my life with my husband will have to end soon. That stupid husband, he won't even care to. My family is soo far away in another state. I wish I waws never married.
 

annea

sarNie Adult
awww...I'm so sorry to hear that..that sounds like one of those thai lakorns..man..is there a way you and your baby can move in with your family? your mother-in law sounds really evil and nasty..she's already sick and now causing more sin for herself..sad isnt it? I dont know how people can be so cruel to others.. stay strong and try to find a good alternative..If I was you, I wouldnt want to live there to..but think about your baby as well when you make a decision...
 

mmm0403

sarNie Juvenile
Maybe take pictures of the food you cook for her and record her her actions with a camcorder. When your mother-in-law complains to your husband and he starts yelling at you, then just give him those proofs to him that you actually cooked. Have him see the food you actually cooked. If he doesn't see that and still yells at you, then go talk to his relatives about this problem. If his relatives don't believe a thing you said, then call your family to talk to his family. If nothing solves, then move back and start to enjoy single life again with your baby-- screw the husband who doesn't give a damn about you.

Does the mother-in-law or your husband care about your son since he's her grandson? If they don't, then you have a little to lose if you leave him.

Man, what's wrong with women when they grow old?
 

skies

sarNie Adult
i understand what you're going through and yeah, it's hell...but, not only am i distraught by your mother-in-law's actions, but also your husband...i can understand him not wanting to take side or who to believe (you, duh!), but to yell at you is something, if i were married and in your position, that is totally unfair! UNFAIR!!! i mean, he's your husband and for him to yell at you for something that he didn't see or have proof of is very disrespectful to you as a wife...i think you should talk with your husband and explain to him (yelling back will cause more pain) what is going on and if he insisted that you just treat your mother-in-law better (obvious that he wasn't listening), then i suggest you just do what is best for you since you have a little child and your child needs you most...the mother-in-law, she can complain however she wants to other people, she'll get tired of it AND if people weren't so ignorant and immature, they wouldn't think the same if every time the same story comes up....to me, if someone were to constantly say the same thing over and over again to me, i would just think that person is the evil one!....anyways, i really think you should put your child and husband first, and get out of that house as soon as possible....meaning, you and your husband move out :D
 

hamerica

sarNie Hatchling
I am married too, but my husband is different. I know it's hard to live like that having your husband taking the other side not knowing nothing about the problem. It would been better if your husband understand the problem that will make things lot easier on you. My husband doesn't let me spent much time with his mother because he knows that his mother lie too much. She lie to people about us but I don't care because as time goes people will know the true her. I only hope the best for you.
 

mysuper_girlfriend

sarNie Juvenile
hey guys,

well...my life suckz sooo bad. I have been married for a year now and have a baby boy. My mother-in-law is soo evil. You know those mother-in-laws that tell people you don't do anything or call people to come over just to say mean hmong shits to you. Well...my is like that. She has three daughter in laws and I am the bad luck one. I live with her!!!!!!!!!!! I hate her!!!!!!!!!!!! She can't even help or do things like cooking and etc anymore because one of her leg and arm doesn't work. When I cook for her, she will not look at it or eat it. BUt!!!! She cries in the middle of the night and say she is hungry and etc. When her daughter and son in law comes, she tells them that her stomach hurts because she was hungry or say like oh the food I ate made it hurt. She makes me look like I am sooo bad. MY damn freaken husband sees how shw is too but he just yells at me and tell me to do my job. I can't even cook because no one watches my son and he is only 3 turning 4months. I have to sacrifie cooking for my dying mother who won't even eat the food that I cook for her over my poor crying son. The thing that hurt the most is that I don't even get to eat most of the time. I got soo skinny that my friends think its bad but what can I do???? Peopl think she is losing her mind and etc because she has all these kind of problems but hell no!!! I live with her for a whole year 24 seven, I know she is not!!! because my stupid husband wants me to take care of his mean mother who he thinks is soo nice. She would call my other sister in law the one that she likes to come over and this other evil khang lady. When my sister in law cooks for her, she would eat all the food and talk nice to her but to me hell no. She is an evil mother in law. She doesn't like me and the other one because we are shorter and not tall or big like the one she likes. She be saying to her that she is tall and pretty. Mess-up mother.

Gosh you guys..........I hvae no one here. When I cry, I have no one to cry to or talk about my sad life. I want to move out soo bad because I cannot live like this any longer. I feel like my life with my husband will have to end soon. That stupid husband, he won't even care to. My family is soo far away in another state. I wish I waws never married.
sounds like your husband doesn't seem to take any time to listen to your feelings and sadness. i feel it's time for you to step it up a little but yet have patients also if you feel your first year of marriage is already falling apart already. don't just leave him but ask him to sit down and take a little time to talk things over. he married you because he's ready to be a man right? if not he will need some learnings..i mean how old are you and your husband? probably 18-23 at the least right? your husband should have your back all the way even if that is to lose his ill-mannered, selfish, mean, mother. she's not the type of person you would want around your child's life surround with negativity. it's time to let him know that if he can not step up or do something about it you will have to leave the house. anyways counseling might be the option for the both of you at this point if he's siding with his mother. It's either go to a marriage therapist to help the both of you with your marriage (setting boundaries with his mother) which will take some time or put up with it and b*tch to anyone around you.
 

cua_81

sarNie Egg
gosh..i think there's always something going on between mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws...and i thought mine was bad. at least she doesn't say anything bad about me though...and she's not the young kind...she's old enough to be my grandmother...but once you live with her and sees the things she does or doesn't do, you start to get so annoyed. She has to think her way is the better way or smarter way, even though she's old and my way is the right way. if i were to complain about every little thing there is about her, I would fill up this page, but i guess it wouldn't be too nice either..it's the little things, but there's a lot. and when you add all those little things together, it really adds up. and yet sometimes i just get so frustrated and irritated, most of the time i have to try to ignore her. even my husband is starting to get irritated by her, but of course he's the son, and the youngest son in the family too, and he can only say so much. she's the kind that'll start to cry or think that we don't love her if he starts to yell at her for doing something wrong or saying something to the wrong people...just cause she's getting older and forgetting things. trust me, everyone has their own problems and it's not always easy...
 

lady0fdarkness

Professional Lakorn Watcher
If it were me, I'd start off by talking to the husband about the whole situation. And if the guy wants to be a Momma's boy and take his Mother's side, even if she's unreasonable, I'd pack my bags and leave. I know it's easier said than done, but it's gotta be done somehow. Your life is worth more than having some bitch lady torture you for God knows what.

Good luck.
 

jjinxx

Is your "nom" Fai-approved?
dang, that really does sound like hell. this is why i don't want to get married. i mean, not all people are hard to handle but i've never been able to imagine living through what your're going through. i just hope you're doing well, and you should keep eating and stay healthy !! it's obvious that you're working very hard for everyone around you and the priority is your son, so you need to make effort for yourself too.
i love our culture but i hate what it does for us girls. we are always the bad ones, it seems that way. we have the biggest responsibilities and are expected to be perfect at everything. it sounds like even if you are perfect, your mom wouldn't see the difference. but come on, no one is great at cooking and cleaning and taking care of people, yet hun, you are doing your best.. if they don't see that then it is their loss. i know this is more complicated than just packing up and leaving but if that is the only way to escape then you have nothing to lose.
i hope the best for you. please though, don't force yourself to bare this pain if it's insufferable. ><
<3<3<3
 

pbv

sarNie Juvenile
i know hmong culture dictates that you listen to your mother in law and yield to your husband but the fact is you have to think about self preservation...you have a baby...it needs you...dont sacrafice your and the baby's health because of her...if worse comes to worse, pick yourself up and leave, there will be talk but she's already talking, you've got more to gain than to lose....just think to yourself how long you can stand it...if you cant stand it more than 30 or so more years then its not worth it...because that is as long as you'll have to deal with her....
 

ddawbb

sarNie Adult
I think it's time that you start doing things for yourself and your baby. From what I've learned from 5 years of marriage is that once people start pushing you around and saying crap like that, you have to start doing things your way, NO MATTER WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY... and you can always answer to them "Why don't you come and take care of her" or something like that. I think you're kinda like me where you don't really like people saying things about you and want to keep a low profile as a nyab, but it's time to draw that line where you have your own say in that family. But that's just my opinion. I really hope that in your situation, you can improve the communication between your husband and you first. It's the most important thing to get his support than anything else...
 

nkaujhmooblauj

sarNie Adult
i'm not married.. **thank god**
i have seven sisters..3 are married... and when i hear their life stories...
it just discourages me from getting married...
their husbands seem like assholes.
of course i think they are okay.. because they don't live with us
and i only get to see how they display themselves whenever they come visit...
but it must be a HMONG GUY THING!

mommy's boy.... jealous of EVERYTHING you do.. fishing.. playing soccer... playing basketball.. hunting... drinking all night long..
ugh...
i think having a husband who is mommy's boy is the worse shiet ever!!
he will always side with her... try to have a perfect life because he doesn't want to "put her down"

i understand that some guys out there may love their mothers very much
but damn!
let go nigka!
 

ddawbb

sarNie Adult
i'm not married.. **thank god**
i have seven sisters..3 are married... and when i hear their life stories...
it just discourages me from getting married...
their husbands seem like assholes.
of course i think they are okay.. because they don't live with us
and i only get to see how they display themselves whenever they come visit...
but it must be a HMONG GUY THING!

mommy's boy.... jealous of EVERYTHING you do.. fishing.. playing soccer... playing basketball.. hunting... drinking all night long..
ugh...
i think having a husband who is mommy's boy is the worse shiet ever!!
he will always side with her... try to have a perfect life because he doesn't want to "put her down"

i understand that some guys out there may love their mothers very much
but damn!
let go nigka!

sadly... I guess your only solution is to marry a boy w/o a mommy... just kidding.

Mother in laws can be a pain but they have their positives too... My mother in law passed away 5 months after I married my husband, and the family life was really difficult without her in the family after she passed.... so you never realize what you have until its gone. Don't be ungrateful - even for bad things. (that goes for everybody)
 

mmm0403

sarNie Juvenile
I'm not married. If i ever decide to, first thing, I need to make sure his mother likes me. if she doesn't, it doesn't matter how much he loves me, because guys only love you when you two are still dating, life afterward is another story.
 

mysuper_girlfriend

sarNie Juvenile
i'm not married.. **thank god**
i have seven sisters..3 are married... and when i hear their life stories...
it just discourages me from getting married...
their husbands seem like assholes.
of course i think they are okay.. because they don't live with us
and i only get to see how they display themselves whenever they come visit...
but it must be a HMONG GUY THING!

mommy's boy.... jealous of EVERYTHING you do.. fishing.. playing soccer... playing basketball.. hunting... drinking all night long..
ugh...
i think having a husband who is mommy's boy is the worse shiet ever!!
he will always side with her... try to have a perfect life because he doesn't want to "put her down"

i understand that some guys out there may love their mothers very much
but damn!
let go nigka!
don't say that...you might end up with a MAMA's BOY in the future! HAHA :)
 

cecilia

Staff member
me too ladykiller .. *ladyofdarkness*
if it's me. by the time you know it. i'm out the door with my stuff already. LOl

but yeah. marry life are hard. i see ppl i love goes through these kind of stuff.
that could be why it's so hard for me to trust and love someone so deeply, afraid of being in situation like this.
plus .. some Hmong guy are a bunch of lazy *ss doing nothing/not working. pissed me off too and if they're mama boy. dang! girl. i'm out! don't have the patient for it at all.
 

lady0fdarkness

Professional Lakorn Watcher
well, Karma's a bitch. She will get hers one of these days.. watch when those other daughter in laws screw her over.
 

nkaujhmoob08

sarNie Adult
OOO....GREAT TOPIC!!!! I LOVED IT.....

MY LIFE IS GAY TOO LOL....LIFE IS JUST THE WAY IT IS...SO WE JUST GOT TO DEAL WITH IT....
PITYFUL, STRESSFUL, AND SO ON... SOMETIMES I DO FEEL LIKE I'M LOST IN THE WORLD... SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I WANNA DISAPPEAR VERY BADLY....I GOT SO MUCH EXPERIENCES....I KNOW WHAT IS WHAT....I CRIED ALOT OF TIMES DONT KNOW EXACTLY...I PRETEND TO BE HAPPY, BUT STILL INSIDE OF ME THERE'S TONS OF DEPRESSION...I TRIED TO ESCAPE TO FIND A BETTER PLACE TO HIDE MY TEARS BUT THERE'S ALWASE SOMETHING ON THE WAY...I HOLD MY TEARS ON... BUT AGAIN LIFE IS SHORT, DO WHAT WE CAN DO...FIND SOMETHING FUN...
LIFE IS JUST ABOUT THAT SHIT...I'M OFF THE HOOK...NO INTEREST ABOUT THE WORLD....LOL...HAHAH.....I THINK I JUST GONNA LIVE LIKE THIS FOREVER UNTIL GOD COME AND TAKE "..." HUH YOU KNOW....BLAH BLAH.....LATERZ NOW...IF YAH WANNA KNOW MORE THAN LET ME KNOW...

DO CARES ABOUT YOURSELF FIRST AND THEN OTHERS AFTER..."keep in mind"
BECAUSE LIKE I SAID BEFORE NO ONES PERFECT! IN OTHER WORDS, DONT TRUST PEOPLE EASILY...SOMETIMES BEST FRIEND BECOMES ENEMIES..SO YEAH...EVEN THE PERSON WHO ARE SO CLOSE TO YOU AND ALWASE BE WITH YOU BUT THAT PERSON RIGHT THERE COULD MAYBE CHANGE TO A NEGATIVE PERSON......AND WHENEVER I GOT SOMETHING VERY PRIVATE...DEEP DEEP...I JUST KEEP IT TO MYSELF...
I JUST SHARE WHATEVER THAT I KNOW IT WONT OFFENDED ME OR THE FUTURE...CAUSE PEOPLE DO HAVE BIG MOUTH....SORRY I CANT EXPLAIN BUT HOPE YAH UNDERSTAND...ETC...PEACE!!!
 
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