MOTHERS!

[dfemc]

today, i have been told that i'm a "very angry person" and may suffer from a heart attack at an early age. this is coming from my mother of course. now that i've actually visit "home". i take it as one critique that i may or may not want to bother considering for use to better myself.

i don't believe in all that she says. never have and never will. n u shouldn't believe her either. i'm not a "very angry person".

don't get me wrong, my mother is among one of my closest and bestest friend; she's young n occasionally wise.

so how do you take criticisms and various forms of critiques from ur mother? with a grain of salt? combat it? or actually believe all that she says? <_<

p.s. if u've never had a mother before, don't worry, ur not missin' out on much. :wacko:

 

[sarN]

my mom is hard to live with .. trust me she can be a pain !!! LOL I have to take criticisms from her everyday ...it alway these line

"why u dont clean ur room living like a pig , so lazy "

" why don't u wear sarong like all the other young girls when you are home"

" you loook so pale wear make up put on lipstick ur lip is tearing up "

" pluck ur eye brow u look like a man "

"tie ur hair ! why u don't comb it . You llook like some amazon woman . No guy will want a girl like dat"

"how come the dish is not wash or the counter top ! im not ur servant im old and you a girl so when u wake up please check the kichen and the rice pot !"

"how come u dont make ur bed when wake up ? it so unlady like . who will marry you ?! How come u dont' fold ur clothes"

"how old is you? you need to learn housekeeping . how will your kids survire?

there many more hahaha i swear dat lady never get tire of saying the same o' thing over and over . Over the years i got use to it and when she say and nag i just keep my mouth shut and go about like nothing happen it work cuz after a while she got tire and go watch her lakorn and forget about it . Den it the same thing tomorrow :lmao: Wat funnie is while she go on and on complaining about my pig life style ... she also doing the house chore dat i don't do :shock: my mom is oen talkive woman and she is loud , quick temper and can be very harsh in her criticisms and at time she doens't know the thing she say hurt ppl feeling believe me she does the same thing to other ppl too hahah . I love my mom and i believe if i were to be married and live with her OMG...she prolly goin drive my hsuband crazy , shoot he prolly going have affair cuz of her hahaha

 

[Linn]

my mom say something along these lines too

" you loook so pale wear make up put on lipstick ur lip is tearing up " ...she wants me to use chapstick

"tie ur hair ! why u don't comb it . You llook like some amazon woman . No guy will want a girl like dat"

"how come u dont make ur bed when wake up ? it so unlady like . who will marry you ?! How come u dont' fold ur clothes" ...except, I do fold my clothes

"how old are you? you need to learn housekeeping . how will your kids survire?

 

[nickalusnick]

I don't have a mom right now but,I know how it is. She will alway tell me to clean up dishes after you eat.And clean up your room. she alway tell me what to do and if i don't do it she'll yell until i do it i guess! :wavecry:

 

[Sreymao]

OMG, SarN my mom say those things to me too

I deal with it all the time and @ this age I still hear it coming from here mouth. So I'm far away she even tell me whne were on the phone hehe... I love her but sometime too much I just

 

[nickalusnick]

not so. some mothers dont yell forever till their daughter do it, some get reallly sick(like my mom) and do it themself. But you dont need two parents, one is ENOUGH girl. I only have a mom, not a dad, which is a good thing. i prefer my mom ....dude man my dad is a WHORE!!! he's still in laos with four other wives!!! one is younger than me!!! he ask for money alot but i dont care. heck i never saw the man in my life! or maaybe he's not my dad, iono man, i look nothing like my family, not even my own mother. -_- OFF TOPIC

[post="90016"][/post]​

I don' thave a dad too.I never see him before but, my mother tell me he have alot of wives in thailand.My mother is no longer staying with me because she move with her lovely daughter to madsion WI.She never love me because my dad never love her i guess.so I marry a chinese man and have two wonderful kids that i love very much.It ok not to have any parent by your side.You won't feel left out. :mellow: :loool:

 

[KawaiiTennyo]

wow my mom is NOTHING like that.. heck she never yell at me in my life lolz.. she use to make fun of me .. like say I actually grew up looking pretty decent .. considering i look like a monkey when i was a baby.. haha =P other than that well LAZY .. that's about it.. my mom is GREAT.

 

[dfemc]

hahaha....lol.. wow. yeah i do realize it's a good thing i don't live with her or anywhere near my mother. but isn't it just a universal experience? the love/hate relationship between mothers and daughters.

my mother gave up on criticizing all my other habits since i was a talking toddler, puahahhaa... but it's the so-called "anger" issues that freaks her out, she's so afraid for my boyfriend, thinking that i'd kill him someday if he ever upsets me. lol. yeah my issue with the woman is her making me out to be a lot more psychotic than necessary.

nonetheless, it's interesting to know how mother-daughter dynamics play out elsewhere. i'm sure that all that u girls have posted is one way of seeing how mothers love us...in their twisted ways.

n sarn...girl u do hang tite yeah ignoring is the greatest tool, hence i avoid visiting my mother altogether.

 

[sisii]

ohhh don't let me start with my mom! lol She'll always be comparing me with other people and saying this and that. Always lecturing me about this and that. We fight but the next I'll talk to her again. It's a normal mother to daughter relationship. I'm even sure I'll be like that with kids in the future.

 

[darvil]

This definately is an interesting thread.

My older sister has alot of issues with my mother but recently after she's had a baby, I've noticed that my sister is becoming exactly like my mother. I think thats a rather ironic twist me thinks. I've seen it happening over the years but now it is even more obvious.

Anyway as for me, I admire my mother alot. She's an incredibly tough woman who has overcome all roadblocks (and I mean really tough) and pretty much made it. I always tell her she should write a book about her life and I would edit it for her. If only I have a quarter of her spirit. I am a lazy SOB, who needs to haul ass.

 

[noungning]

actually when i was young, my mother and i weren't the best of friends. she'd either physically or verbally degrade my life. many, many, times i'd curse or wished things could be better in my life. but now as i look back, i sort of realize why she says and does things, though it could of been or wasn't intentional. because i've developed the same kind of feelings of caring so much for someone... i guess sometimes you just say things to hurt someone's feelings just so it can come across with a hidden message... i don't know... but i've become pretty close with my mother the recent years and i'm greatful for her presence. i actually don't know what i would do if she's not here anymore.

 

[Thookatha]

Anyway as for me, I admire my mother alot.  She's an incredibly tough woman who has overcome all roadblocks (and I mean really tough) and pretty much made it.  I always tell her she should write a book about her life and I would edit it for her.  If only I have a quarter of her spirit.  I am a lazy SOB, who needs to haul ass. 

[post="90121"][/post]​

easy for you to say, YOU MALE! you could be the nastiest"dick" in the world, and STILL get praised...ESPECIALLY if you are an ASIAN (...which you are)! LEEET'S just say that you have a natural birthright.

what a fundemental stereotype! BUT a rather relevant claim...in the world of disillusionment!

in the light of my entourage...with my mother, i can honestly say that the development of bipolarism has taken its course....ANNND might have even recycled itself through various mutations of the moon.

sooo, if it is safe to claim my entrapment in this pandomonium, then i claim it! haha

i take it two ways...depending on the nature of my day...

...one, (WHEN my soul is more westernized), i explode in chaos!...

...two (on my more "typical asian girl" days), i subside in my own fronted obedience, formally known as "respect".

there is no justifying for "the asian female". sorry, ladies. but there sure IS the unwarranted need for comparisons between us. look on the bright side...we become closer...whether we like it or not!! lol

AND the expedited acquiring of "traits"...for future obligations, in tending to the masochistic bull sh*t, is, of course, my most favorite demand...

....and OHHH, to look "the part"...that IS the best! lmao

of course, this is just what i call idealistic realism, but that might not be true in all cases.

wow, what an oxymoron in the blur! ahaha

 

[JoXBankXClash]

i dont live with ma mum even tho i am 14 i stay at skool monday - friday and then go to ma brothers house lol its because i never get on with ma mum we always fight and she says that i am bad person lol she always tells me to do many things and tell me so not real storys that dont scare me plus i am tha youngest so i guess she feels she has to treat me like a baby and i hate it she never treat me like i am 14 and growing up

 

[iluvnumandoil]

how about mother in law does that count...
cant stand her she is a biatch..all my life never met anyone like her..she's the first..omg i cant stand her

 

[dfemc]

how about mother in law does that count...
cant stand her she is a biatch..all my life never met anyone like her..she's the first..omg i cant stand her

[post="90367"][/post]​

WOW! yeeah...*sigh* that's like having two mothers. :blink: imagine that. :shock:

i'm sorry iluvnumandoil

 

[kitkat]

omg i always dislike my mother for all of my life! even though she kept saying that she cares about me blah blah all of that crap. she always hurts my feeling without knowing that i'm hurt easily by her words.. i mean my OWN mother says that to ME! <_<

i always hold back with my feelings until she's done then i just went to the bathroom just to cry and express the feelings to my little brother and father... they couldn't do a thing for me because my mother always acts like that ever since forever! -_-

i always wished something that i wanted to be away from her but somehow my father always kept me staying with him. *sighhh. you know trying to get know with each other but it's sooo hard! i mean my mother is sooo hard-head or stubborn lady. even my brother and father agree with me, though.

i just hope that she should change the way she acts toward me...i mean it's painful to live with her for a little more years to go. ughhh. many people thought i might love her but i told them i would NEVER love her... [yup, i'm serious. <_< ] but i'm thankful for her to give a birth of me. ^_^

 

[natty]

This definately is an interesting thread.

My older sister has alot of issues with my mother but recently after she's had a baby, I've noticed that my sister is becoming exactly like my mother. I think thats a rather ironic twist me thinks. I've seen it happening over the years but now it is even more obvious.

Anyway as for me, I admire my mother alot. She's an incredibly tough woman who has overcome all roadblocks (and I mean really tough) and pretty much made it. I always tell her she should write a book about her life and I would edit it for her. If only I have a quarter of her spirit. I am a lazy SOB, who needs to haul ass.

[post="90121"][/post]​

aww that's so sweet.. i have alot of issues with my mom, lol i dont even grow up with my parents.. but then again i understand them..

anyways.. i find it funny that it's seems like daughters are usually the one who has this big problem with their mothers.. they seem to always be in this love hate relationship.. but with sons, they usually dont have problems.. why is that?

 

[darvil]

aww that's so sweet.. i have alot of issues with my mom, lol i dont even grow up with my parents.. but then again i understand them..

anyways.. i find it funny that it's seems like daughters are usually the one who has this big problem with their mothers.. they seem to always be in this love hate relationship.. but with sons, they usually dont have problems.. why is that?

[post="90399"][/post]​

This is probably a bit sexist but perhaps females generally are more petty? But of course the overall picture is that mothers like to put their daughters in a tight vice in order to eliminate behaviors they THINK are bad. Guys don't have that much restrictions so they have less reasons to bang head with their mothers.

I'll give you an example. My sister can be loud and my mother always chide her to be more ladylike and not burst out laughing. Of course my sister got pissed because of that kind of thing. Girls just have more pressure to be more "Lep Loai" then their male counterparts.

This kind of thing is more of a bigger issue in places like the US where the traditional mother clash with their non traditional daughters. In the East daughters are much more receptive to the social pressures then here in the West. Bad or good? depends on who you ask.

If you ask me. I like a girl who can be a tiger and also be a rabbit depending on the situation. Thats not too much to ask is it?

 

[dfemc]

aww that's so sweet.. i have alot of issues with my mom, lol i dont even grow up with my parents.. but then again i understand them..

anyways.. i find it funny that it's seems like daughters are usually the one who has this big problem with their mothers.. they seem to always be in this love hate relationship.. but with sons, they usually dont have problems.. why is that?

This is probably a bit sexist but perhaps females generally are more petty? But of course the overall picture is that mothers like to put their daughters in a tight vice in order to eliminate behaviors they THINK are bad. Guys don't have that much restrictions so they have less reasons to bang head with their mothers.

I'll give you an example. My sister can be loud and my mother always chide her to be more ladylike and not burst out laughing. Of course my sister got pissed because of that kind of thing. Girls just have more pressure to be more "Lep Loai" then their male counterparts.

This kind of thing is more of a bigger issue in places like the US where the traditional mother clash with their non traditional daughters. In the East daughters are much more receptive to the social pressures then here in the West. Bad or good? depends on who you ask.

If you ask me. I like a girl who can be a tiger and also be a rabbit depending on the situation. Thats not too much to ask is it?

[post="90481"][/post]​

hmm...no i think it's more than that. most male grows up resisting their father and most female grow up resisting their mothers. it's a rite of passage to adulthood. part of claiming ur space to "be". nothing more just to be able to make ur own decisions about ur own life, recognize ur own feelings about whatever it is that's pertinent to ur own definition of "self".

i have to admit. my mother doesn't get on my case about what's proper and what's not. she's not that kind of mother. she has stacks of her own flaws, so she's not the most proper person herself, and she's not very traditional because she's soo young and was part of the 70's generation.

however, it's inevitable for her to put her two cents into my entire business, regarding who and what i choose to be sometimes. and like who was it that was saying...we might just do the same with our kids, that is if we choose to have kids, it's true. we just might do the same.

but i guess, our parents depending on the sex that u identify with, they represent a bigger piece of us and a shadow projection in a way, of who we may become. u either want to be like them or u don't. or u just want to be some of them and not all of them.

so it's normal that we go bipolar and seek out a piece of ourselves out of them. it just drives us NUTS! <_< -_- that's the problem *sigh* hahahah...it's funny that this thread has allowed me to reflect on all this a bit more. but i'm glad to see how everyone else's experience is played out. though there's a general gist to this mother-daughter dynamic, each and every one of our own relationship with our mothers are so unique...it comes to explain who we are everyday.

darv: u'd butt heads with ur father too...trust me...EVERY SON goes thru it. it's just the symmetrical end of the female's dynamic with their mothers. <_< btw...stop turning females into animals -_- we are who we are as A WOMAN, not lil' hopping creatures or roaring things. ^_^

 

[darvil]

hmm...no i think it's more than that. most male grows up resisting their father and most female grow up resisting their mothers. it's a rite of passage to adulthood. part of claiming ur space to "be". nothing more just to be able to make ur own decisions about ur own life, recognize ur own feelings about whatever it is that's pertinent to ur own definition of "self".

i have to admit. my mother doesn't get on my case about what's proper and what's not. she's not that kind of mother. she has stacks of her own flaws, so she's not the most proper person herself, and she's not very traditional because she's soo young and was part of the 70's generation.

however, it's inevitable for her to put her two cents into my entire business, regarding who and what i choose to be sometimes. and like who was it that was saying...we might just do the same with our kids, that is if we choose to have kids, it's true. we just might do the same.

but i guess, our parents depending on the sex that u identify with, they represent a bigger piece of us and a shadow projection in a way, of who we may become. u either want to be like them or u don't. or u just want to be some of them and not all of them.

so it's normal that we go bipolar and seek out a piece of ourselves out of them. it just drives us NUTS!