My best friend

[forevertogether]

well i was bore so just want to share something with you guys and want you guy opinions. I have a bestfriend and we be friend ever since we're both in high school to now which is about 8 years, we like to hang out mostly at her house or mine and at school...now she has a boyfriend and her boyfriend ban her from hanging out with her guyfriends/girlfriends which including me. they only been dating for about a month...i was kind of mad, but i care less about it now..just want to know why when you have a gf/bf why ban them from haning out with their friends..i do understand that we do have certain right to ban our gf/bf from doing certain thing that we dont like(bad thing) and certain people, but why ban from hanging out with friends. well and if you guys ask me if i'm a bad girl that do bad thing that my her bf dont want her to hang out with me then my answer is no...cause doing those things are not type. All i do is go to school, stay home, hang out with family and her mostly...plus he dont even know me or seen me before and he trying to ban her from hanging out with me...

 

[myser]

this is a hard topic. I have been through many situations like this. I too had a best friend who was like that but once she and HIM recognized that they were doing that, they tried to balance things out. It's not easy balancing things out with friends and bf's but people CAN if they TRULY wanted to. It's also YOUR BEST friend who SHOULD make a move and plan time for both of you (if she truly was a best friend). Guys can be a big hinder to friendship, but what a lot of people don't know is that it doesn't need to be. You should talk to your friend. If she's not doing anything, then i would say that it's time that you make new friends (not saying you should end ur friendship with her) but if she truly was a friend, her bf should not be a hinder. She should talk to him as well and work things out. If he's willing to..than that's awesome....but if he's not, then it's time that SHE DECIDES whether to break it off or try other ideas out (like doing a get together with you two who is important in her life). Guys don't end at him (and this is a sad thought because girls are so blinded by what they call love..when it's only called infatuation). It's not love!!!! and of course as Hmong, it's not easiest to talk to each other and share our true feelings, but it's time that communication starts. If talking is too hard, then write a letter saying how you are feeling, but don't point fingers (Like--> YOU are hurting me..YOU are doing this..You are etc...) but more or less state HOW you are FEELING...(i feel like our friendship is ending because of .... I still care for you and i want our friendship to work out...if there's any way for me to also get to know him...better...or him to know me..i would like to give it a try...etc..) something like that to show BOTH HIM AND her that you want to be BOTH their friends and not only her's. it shows the importance of both of them as well as your willingness to get to know them both. =) maybe with this, he might see that you are a good friend and you don't want to push him away (just as he seems to be pushing you, yet you want to know him too). sorry, this is a lot of talk...but hopefully, it will be a little help.

 

[forevertogether]

this is a hard topic. I have been through many situations like this. I too had a best friend who was like that but once she and HIM recognized that they were doing that, they tried to balance things out. It's not easy balancing things out with friends and bf's but people CAN if they TRULY wanted to. It's also YOUR BEST friend who SHOULD make a move and plan time for both of you (if she truly was a best friend). Guys can be a big hinder to friendship, but what a lot of people don't know is that it doesn't need to be. You should talk to your friend. If she's not doing anything, then i would say that it's time that you make new friends (not saying you should end ur friendship with her) but if she truly was a friend, her bf should not be a hinder. She should talk to him as well and work things out. If he's willing to..than that's awesome....but if he's not, then it's time that SHE DECIDES whether to break it off or try other ideas out (like doing a get together with you two who is important in her life). Guys don't end at him (and this is a sad thought because girls are so blinded by what they call love..when it's only called infatuation). It's not love!!!! and of course as Hmong, it's not easiest to talk to each other and share our true feelings, but it's time that communication starts. If talking is too hard, then write a letter saying how you are feeling, but don't point fingers (Like--> YOU are hurting me..YOU are doing this..You are etc...) but more or less state HOW you are FEELING...(i feel like our friendship is ending because of .... I still care for you and i want our friendship to work out...if there's any way for me to also get to know him...better...or him to know me..i would like to give it a try...etc..) something like that to show BOTH HIM AND her that you want to be BOTH their friends and not only her's. it shows the importance of both of them as well as your willingness to get to know them both. =) maybe with this, he might see that you are a good friend and you don't want to push him away (just as he seems to be pushing you, yet you want to know him too). sorry, this is a lot of talk...but hopefully, it will be a little help.

yeah that true... i do want to see her boyfriend and be friend with him too, but it seem like my friend doesnt that or maybe he doesnt want to. Plus he never show up at thier house and her parent have never seen him...well her mom have seen him when he was in high school, but not any more. They call each other, set up the time and met somewhere, where her parent not there. Like at the park or at a Mcdonald, etc. That what she told me..But now i care less about that. I dont expect her to give too much of her time for me, it just that i do want to have some time with her when i bore or have none to talk to. Becuase i do understand her. Just that i want to know you guy opinion about why gf/bf ban friend from hanging out with friend.

 

[YM_gurl]

well i was bore so just want to share something with you guys and want you guy opinions. I have a bestfriend and we be friend ever since we're both in high school to now which is about 8 years, we like to hang out mostly at her house or mine and at school...now she has a boyfriend and her boyfriend ban her from hanging out with her guyfriends/girlfriends which including me. they only been dating for about a month...i was kind of mad, but i care less about it now..just want to know why when you have a gf/bf why ban them from haning out with their friends..i do understand that we do have certain right to ban our gf/bf from doing certain thing that we dont like(bad thing) and certain people, but why ban from hanging out with friends. well and if you guys ask me if i'm a bad girl that do bad thing that my her bf dont want her to hang out with me then my answer is no...cause doing those things are not type. All i do is go to school, stay home, hang out with family and her mostly...plus he dont even know me or seen me before and he trying to ban her from hanging out with me...

some guys are jerks! lol

In my opinion, your friend's bf is probably afraid of her meeting other guys. That's why he is not letting you two meet but if your friend is smart enough. She should not let her "one month" boyfriend get in the way and tell her who to meet & not to meet. He'll mind as well, not let her see her family too then. LOL

So, girl. Just let it go, most people change when they have a bf or gf.

Btw, seems like this bf of your friend. They ain't going to last long, since he is forbidden her to not see
her friends already. Good luck to your friendship & your friend's relationship.