jjinxx
Is your "nom" Fai-approved?
©jjinxx
Nothing is Eternal
*Starring*
Nadech as Athit
Yaya as Sasithorn
** Author's Note**
Will be reposting old chapters, some with revisions. Gosh there were so many typos. For anyone who read this ff when it was originally posted, the newest chapter starts at Chapter 19. I’m hoping to complete this fanfic this year. I’m even considering writing a part 2 starring a different couple. I couldn't find the old thread, so any admin, if it's still out there please help delete. Thanks much.
Chapter 1
Dead. That was the word that echoed through his head louder than ever as he stood outside the wat a week after receiving the call. The only person who had ever been his family was dead, as truly as the dirt lay beneath his feet. His eyes lifted to the gray sky, where the sun seemed to hide in shame.
He entered the wat and searched out the memorial area that contained his brother’s name and ashes. Only then did he catch sight of the flowers next to the memorial for the first time, and realized what they meant. The flowers meant that he was not the only one grieving for the loss of his friend and brother. His brother. The strangest thing was that he could not recollect anyone who would have taken the care to lay such beautiful flowers there. They were so clean that they must have just been laid out that very morning. His watch told him it was seven in the morning. Who would have woken up before the sun to grieve for Tawan other than Athit himself?
------
Athit’s eyes opened, the misty sky peeking through the slit between the curtains hanging over the window. It was still early, but he couldn’t sleep any longer.
‘Take a break. Have some time to soak in the news,’ was what Wattana had suggested. Athit wasn’t sure how much more he could soak up. Loneliness seemed to be endlessly generous, and grief all too willing company. And the duo was never complete without regret. Athit wished more than ever that he had spent as much time with Tawan as possible. But there had never been anything to suggest they wouldn’t have so much more time together.
Without knowing it, he was already on the road back to the wat. How mercilessly ironic. The person was gone and only now was lost time being made up.
Six a.m. Athit stood with hands shoved in his pockets, eyes on the red flowers, fresh as if each night the moon fed them with rejuvenating dew. Five days in a row he had come here and stared at these flowers that never wilted. Obviously they were being replaced every day.
Ambling back down the path on the wat grounds, Athit relived old memories. Their childhood, their education, the childish rivalry that only served to strengthen an everlasting bond. People said two suns couldn’t exist in one sky, but he and Tawan had proved them wrong. They never quarreled, they trusted each other with their lives. They’d kept in contact all the five years that Athit had gone abroad to work and never once was there a dip in their friendship. Except that five months earlier, he’d learned that Tawan had been keeping something from him. Upon hearing the news of what his brother had done, and who he had decided to work for, Athit had been adamant that Tawan back out. But Tawan insisted it was too late—Athit knew he was right too, and though his instincts told him to return home, Tawan swayed him into focusing on his work, promising his elder brother that nothing would go wrong, that their boss was taking care of him well.
And now, Tawan was gone.
.
Athit’s jaw stretched in a ferocious yawn. His curiosity was getting the better of him. He wanted to know who this person was who was visiting Tawan’s memorial every day, so he’d forced his butt out of bed at four a.m. and was at the wat dark and early, the sky just barely tinted with pink.
His tired eyes blinked several times when a silhouette came into focus. Someone was outside the building. It had to be the one. Yes, there were the flowers. Athit drew closer and then his footsteps slowed. The person was a woman. And more clearly still, she was pregnant. Athit thought he would find answers, but he was now more confused than ever.
The next morning he was back and watched as the woman offered her flowers to Tawan, and sat on a mat on the ground. Why was she staying so long? He could see her lips moving. Athit breathed a light laugh not of derision but of surprise. The woman was talking to Tawan and having quite an animated discussion too, by the way her hands flew about with gestures and her smiles. Athit wondered if she was crazy. No, he had seen true insanity before.
Deciding not to disturb her, he stepped outside, took a deep breath from the morning air, and returned to the car, stretching his arms. There were other matters for him to think over, he thought, as his hands clenched into fists.
.
For the next few days Athit continued to watch the woman from afar. He grew familiar with her face and her smile. She had large eyes and from his lookout spot, he wondered whether she was full blooded Thai. He could never catch any of her words clearly and without knowing why, he didn’t dare reveal himself. For some reason, he felt it would break some kind of spell, and the fact was, she looked so happy when she was sitting beside Tawan’s memorial, as if Tawan was right there next to her, that Athit felt like he could see his brother too.
Wattana asked over the phone, “Have any of the others contacted you?”
“No.” Athit hadn’t found it necessary to meet with any of his people in Thailand—at least not for now. But when he called for them, they would have a lot to answer for. He just wanted time alone at the moment. He yawned loudly.
“What’s up with you?”
“Tired. I’m going to bed now. Call if anything comes up.”
“What, already? It can’t be that late over there.”
Athit smiled. He still wasn’t used to his new sleep schedule, but was determined to keep up with the nameless woman.
------
“Damn.” He hurried into the memorial building. Panting from his rush, Athit arrived in time to see her push herself up from the ground. He still wondered how she could endure sitting on the hard ground for so long, but she never seemed to mind. Brushing her hands, then gathering yesterday’s flowers, she momentarily rested one hand on her slightly protruding belly and closed her eyes as if fighting off a dizzy spell. Athit put one foot out of the shadows, but the moment passed, and she strolled away in the opposite direction with a steady gait.
Standing in silence for a few minutes to stare at Tawan’s resting place, Athit finally decided to go back to the hotel. Nearing the wat’s entrance, he paused, with a strange ill-foreboding tingle sliding down his spine. What did it mean? He didn’t have a grasp on answers, but already, his feet turned around and retraced their way back where they’d come from. The memorial had a few other people, but the woman was gone. He tried one of the other exit routes. She was not yet in sight, but his feet didn’t stop moving, searching.
And now, they were running in reaction to the image that met his eyes –the woman had come into view. He witnessed the agonizing consequences of her feet halting, the forward motion of her body as it lost strength and the red flowers spilling across her body, trailing on the grass.
.
.
She opened her eyes to a half-darkness penetrated by soft light coming from a window. Bracing herself on her elbows, she blinked back the remainder of her grogginess and realized she was in a hospital room. That fact established, she instinctively pressed her hand to her abdomen, and relaxed when she felt the soft roundness.
“You’re awake.” Athit had been dozing lightly on the couch and only just noticed her movement. He swept his eyes around the room and then at the door. Satisfied that nothing was out of order, he turned back to her. She returned his gaze with curiosity so that he felt compelled to reassure her.
“Sorry I haven’t introduced myself. My name is Athit. I…” He noticed her eyes grew slightly rounder at the mention of his name, as if he had only just magically appeared. “I saw you at the wat when, you know, you fell, so I brought you here. How are you feeling?”
“Fine. Thank you.” She offered a gentle smile and he felt relieved that she wasn’t panicked or scared around him.
Having only watched her from afar before, he finally took note of her sharp yet delicate features—she was very pretty.
“I’m sorry to have bothered you. I should be going on my way now.”
“No!” He objected, seeing her about to push her blanket away. “You should wait until the doctor allows it. She said, er…” Athit winced sheepishly. “Sorry, we didn’t know who to call, and I happened to be there so she told me about your health situation.”
“My situation of being pregnant?” she asked in a deadpan voice.
He saw laughter in her eyes, and mentally laughed at himself for the roundabout words he chose. Biting back his own smile, Athit said, “It would be better if you rested well before leaving.”
She released a soft breath. “I’m grateful, but I can’t afford to stay here.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that. I’ll help you.”
“I couldn’t expect you to do such a thing, though I’m thankful for the offer.”
He watched in dismay as she slowly slid off the bed. “I’ve heard your voice before.”
His words made her pause. “Excuse me?” she asked.
Athit pursed his lips sternly. He was certain now, where he’d heard her voice. “Before you leave, let me ask you something. Why do you visit Tawan?”
She froze. They stared at one another as silence blanketed the atmosphere. “You saw me?”
He nodded. “Actually, I’ve watched you there for almost a week.” He stopped. “That…sounded a lot creepier than I meant it to.” As a smile stretched her face once more, he breathed a quiet laugh.
“So it was you.”
“Hm?”
She lifted her eyes to him. “I kept having a feeling this past week like someone was present with me, and the aura was similar to Tawan’s, so I thought maybe his spirit was visiting me.” She seemed unembarrassed by her wishful thinking. “But no wonder your presence felt similar.”
“So you mean you know who I am?”
She hesitated, then nodded.
“So it really was you, who called to tell me that he died.”
Curious by this since she hadn’t given her name when they spoke over the phone, she asked, “How did you know?”
“I recognize your voice.”
Her eyes appraised him upon hearing this. “It’s just like what he told me about you. You memorize sounds well.”
This did not particularly please Athit. “Will you tell me your name? And how you met Tawan?” He made his way over and led her to sit back on the bed comfortably. “I don’t know how close you were to him, but he would never give my phone number to just anyone.”
She pleasantly complied. “My name is…Sasithorn, and…” She smiled down at her slightly swollen abdomen. “Can you guess how close I was to Tawan?”
Of course, he had suspected they’d been in a relationship of some sort, but Athit hadn’t allowed himself to take that suspicion seriously. As if reading his thoughts, even though his face had given nothing away, Sasithorn said with amusement, “You must be wondering how it happened.” Her eyes glowed at some vivid endearing memories. “All it took was a moment of chance for us to meet and from there, he and I both knew we would be together.”
But why would Tawan have never mentioned her to Athit? As soon as the question formed, so did the answer. Athit observed the fragile woman beside him, thin yet sturdy, small yet full of energy. Tawan must have wanted to keep her safe.
“You said he told you about me. What sorts of things did he say?”
“Oh, nothing much about your job or…” She fished around idly for a word. “Or your lifestyle. Just the important things, like your personality and passions.”
He couldn’t tell if she was serious or not. Anyone else would disagree that his “lifestyle” wasn’t important.
“There’s more I want to know.”
“I’m sure you have ways of finding more information than I could tell you.”
That was true, but those things could wait. He cleared his throat. “If you truly are Tawan’s woman, then as his brother, I wish to assist you as much as possible.”
“You must have more important things to take care of.”
“No. Nothing is as important as family…which is what you have become.” He firmly kept his eyes on her, serious and not wanting to hear any opposition. “Let me give you as much assistance as you need.”
“I guess I could use a hand.” She smiled and it made him feel like she was doing him a favor. “I don’t really have anyone else.”
For some reason, he had assumed she was alone ever since seeing her. Yet he didn’t get the sense that she was a lonely person. “It’ll be easiest if we simply stay together in one place. Are you okay with that? I’ll make arrangements so you’ll be comfortable. Is there anything you need to move? Otherwise, I can provide whatever you need.”
Her face grew stern for the first time. “No. If we’re going to be living together, we must live at my apartment.”
His brow puckered. “Your apartment?” as if he could not fathom her suggestion.
Sasithorn’s face lit up again, nodding like a child who was excited about her new playmate. Athit wasn’t sure how, but her warm smile had a calming effect on him, and he was slowly understanding why Tawan had chosen to be with her.
Chapter 2
Her apartment was clean and small, and he wanted to do whatever would make Sasithorn most comfortable, so he consented to staying at her place, though he wished she had allowed him to give her better residence.
“I’m afraid there’s only one room, so…” She glanced at the couch.
He nodded. “Thanks. This will do just fine.” He entered and set a duffel bag down, peering out of the window at the narrow road below that was busy with cars and taxis. There was a fire escape ladder near the window, but no other way to reach her apartment aside from the door. “Did Tawan ever come here?”
She joined him at his side. “M-hm.” Suddenly, she shook with giggles. “He used to complain about the geckos.”
“Geckos?”
“Don’t tell me you’re scared of them too?” she asked with fascinated eyes.
Athit snorted. “No.” Then he chuckled too, imagining Tawan paranoidly searching for small critters. “That wuss…”
“Are you hungry? I was about to cook dinner.”
He checked his watch. “You don’t have to worry about that.” Right then, the doorbell rang.
“Who could that be?”
“I’ll get it.” He made his way to the door and in came a solemn looking woman with bags of groceries. He acknowledged her with a nod. She inclined her head respectfully back at him, then at Sasithorn, before stoically moving to the kitchen.
“Who did you just invite into my home?” Sasithorn asked, more with interest than with fear.
“Your new cook. From now on, you’re not going to be doing any physical labor. I’m also delivering some furniture and tomorrow you have an appointment at the doctor for a checkup. Oh, and I’ve already informed your workplace that you won’t be employed for them anymore.”
For a moment, she stared in stunned silence.
. .
“Hey, let go!” Athit rubbed his ear in shock when Sasithorn released her death grip on it. After kicking out the cook, she had twisted his ear and dragged him to the table, forcing him down on a seat. It had been such a long time since he’d received physical punishment from anyone and especially someone who should have been so much weaker than him, that Athit was both indignant and in awe that Sasithorn had dared do it.
Hands on her hips, Sasithorn frowned at him severely. “Let’s make one thing clear. Just because I accepted your help and just because you have resources that I don’t, does NOT make it okay for you to run my life and make decisions for me.”
“But it was all with good intentions,” he argued.
“I understand that well, however, you cannot just change my life without informing me! And you better make sure I haven’t lost my job.”
“Look, I can afford these things, so it’s not like you need it—“
That only seemed to fuel her fury, as she narrowed her eyes to slits, which didn’t scare Athit, but he had to commend her for giving off such an authoritative air. “I’m not about to siphon a free living off of you. I accepted your offer to help while I am…not in optimal shape. BUT,” she snapped, “anything that has to do with my life, I can handle by myself. Is that clear?”
He stood up to tower over her darkly, but she didn’t back down and he wasn’t sure if that was just because she was a determined woman or if the child inside of her was hogging all her nutrition—because under normal conditions, anyone who received that look from him would have yielded to his demands. So he was forced to agree.
“Fine…” he said with a short sigh.
“And cancel whatever you ordered.” She made a face. “We don’t need any of it.”
He caught the stern glare from her and took out his phone to obey, against his better judgment. “But you still have to go to the doctor appointment.” He said this with his brow set strictly so that she knew he wasn’t going to budge on this subject.
“Fine.”.
He got up to go make his calls.
When he returned, he found her on a chair putting the groceries that the chef brought over in the upper cupboards.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” He went over and promptly lifted her down.
“Okay, what the heck?” she asked, looking up at him in confusion.
“Hello, there happens to be a child inside of you who is off-setting the balance of your body making it highly possible that you fall and hurt yourself and said child, who happens to be the child of my brother too,” he scolded. “You know what, I’ll let you off this once because I’m sure all the brain power that goes into feeding your common sense is being absorbed by the child, but don’t let me catch you without your feet planted on the ground again, got that?” He caught the amused expression on her face and narrowed his eyes to make sure she knew he wasn’t joking. “Got it?” he repeated in a low voice.
“Yes sir.” She saluted him with twinkling eyes.
He unfolded his arms and looked at the remaining groceries. “I can finish up here. You go rest.”
She scoffed. “Being pregnant does not make me a handicap. I’m not tired either. I’m hungry.”
“I’ll go buy dinner in a bit.”
“Why? We have all these groceries,” she pointed out.
“Well who’s going to cook? Cause the chef’s gone and I sure as hell can’t.”
She looked at Athit like he was slow. “I’M going to cook.”
He looked back at her like she was the slow one. “Let’s back up. I believe I stated very clearly that you are not allowed to be on your feet doing physical work.”
She blinked in disbelief. “But I’m hungry,” she repeated.
“That’s why I said I’ll go buy dinner.”
“I don’t want restaurant food, I want to eat a home-cooked meal.”
“But you can’t because it’s too much work.”
“No it’s not.”
“For someone of your…” he waved his hand at her, “…condition, it IS.”
She gave him a ‘WTH’ look at his vague description of her current pregnancy state. Sighing, she said, “I can make a quick meal.”
“Not gonna happen.” He shook his head.
“Oh my gosh, it’s no big deal,” she argued. “I can whip up a really simple dish for the both of us, just like that.” She snapped her fingers.
“I think it’s best if you follow my advice.”
Frowning stubbornly, she said, “Well I’m not going to.”
“Well you’re not cooking,” he responded unyieldingly.
“Then WHAT do you suggest, Mr. Athit?”
.
.
“Shit,” Athit cussed as he dropped the scalding pot-cover into the sink. After briefly blowing on his hands, he added some mutilated pieces of vegetables into the boiling water, which splashed unexpectedly at him, making him quickly withdraw his hands with another well-chosen swear word under his breath. Sweat draped his temples as he turned back to the island counter.
His inexperience and the heat from the stove making him edgy, Athit took his frustration out on the fish on the cutting board. Chop! Off with its head.
“Now rinse it and add it to the pot,” came Sasithorn’s instructions.
After Sasithorn realized he wasn’t going to give in, she came up with the idea for him to do the cooking under her direction, and after realizing that SHE wasn’t going to give in, Athit agreed. Of course, he wasn’t so sure he should have yielded so fast. Two fingers on his left hand were adorned with Mickey Mouse bandaids after the knife accidentally caressed them—not that they hurt or anything, but the band aids made his fingers stiff which got in the way of his already clumsy efforts at cooking. And this was only after he had failed to boil water, having carelessly turned on the wrong knob on the stove and made them wait a curiously long fifteen minutes before realizing why the water was not bubbling.
He leaped back when the slippery headless fish slipped from his hand and dived into the pot.
“You should have kept it on the cutting board and just slid it slowly in,” Sasithorn chided, shaking her head. “I could have gotten this done so much faster.”
He sent her a resentful glare for not appreciating all his efforts to make things easier for her, though if he had to admit—and NO ONE could make him admit it—he agreed with her.
“You’ve never cooked before, have you? You’re such a stereotypical man.”
“Excuse me?” He turned to her, hand on his hip. “I have indeed cooked before.” How did she think he and Tawan survived their childhood? “And for your information, I’m not ANY kind of typical in the world.”
“Okay, no need to get offended.” She raised a brow.
He tossed hair away from his forehead. “Anyway, it’s not like you’re not used to this. I mean, Tawan never cooked either.”
“He cooked all the time.”
If he’d been sitting, Athit would have fallen off his chair. “What?”
“You didn’t know?”
He shook his head in amazement, as if he’d discovered the eighth wonder of the world. “Tawan…cooking?”
“Why is that so hard to believe? I mean, look at you.”
Athit looked down at his apron and then up at the wooden spoon in his hand. He closed his eyes against how ridiculous he must look at that moment and was thankful nobody he knew was there to see him.
“Geez, it’s not such a bad thing being a man who cooks,” Sasithorn said, reading his mind.
“Well maybe not in your world, but in mine…”
She nodded understandingly. “You’d probably lose all your credentials if you went to work with ‘Kiss the Cook’ on any article of clothing you wore.”
He nodded back solemnly, before he returned his narrowed gaze to her. “And what would you know about my credentials? I thought you said Tawan never told you about my job.”
“He didn’t much. Anyway, add some salt,” she said.
Not fully content with her answer, he set aside his suspicion for now. There would be time later to question her about just how much she knew. Athit decided to focus on the task at hand and took hold of the salt container and daintily shook it over the pot.
“More.”
He shook.
“More.”
He shook.
“For goodness sake Athit!”
“What?! I don’t know how much is enough and I don’t want to overdo it.”
She creased her brow in amusement, certain that there were few things in life that he was this awkward at. Even if she hadn’t known him long, simply his demeanor that exuded self-confidence told the world he was used to being good at everything. Sasithorn leaned her elbows on the counter and observed his rugged features that pronounced the masculinity in him, while his concentration on the food produced an adorable side effect.
“Athit, you’re handsome.”
He looked her. “Sister-in-law, are you hitting on me?”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Uh, NO. I just like to give well-deserved compliments.” And he did deserve it, because as overbearing as he already was, he had been nothing but kind to her. If anyone was cruel, they could never be beautiful in her eyes. “Thanks.”
“What for?”
“For making dinner.”
“By the way, let me know when it’s ready, ‘cause if you leave it up to me, I’d judge based on the smoke alarm.”
“Let it simmer for ten minutes and then we’re gold.”
Finally, they sat down at the table for dinner. Sasithorn looked over and almost laughed out loud at the face he was making down at his bowl. He looked repulsed by what he’d created. The fish meat was broken in chunks since he’d over-stirred and the lumps of vegetables swimming in the bowl flaunted their ugly shapes.
Clearing his throat, trying to hide his embarrassment, Athit said, “You don’t have to eat it. I can quickly pick something up from—“ He stopped abruptly when seeing her chomp a spoonful of the stew. Great, he had poisoned Tawan’s girlfriend.
“Mm…” She made a thoughtful face after swallowing.
What was that, a moan of pain before she keeled over? Then Sasithorn couldn’t help it anymore. She burst out laughing.
Her giggles subsiding as he looked at her like she was crazy, she said, “Athit, you need to relax.”
“How can I relax when Tawan’s ghost will be haunting me tonight for feeding you this crap?” He scoffed in disgust with himself. “Let’s toss it.”
She stopped him from reaching for her bowl. “Whoa! You didn’t even try it, why would you throw it away. If there’s one rule you have to follow under my roof, it’s that we don’t waste food.” She pointed her spoon at him and motioned for him to taste the soup.
Hesitantly, he picked up his spoon and dipped it in his bowl, bringing up a chunk of meat. Grimacing, he forced himself to eat it and was surprised that it was actually…
“Not bad, Chef Athit.” Sasithorn beamed over at him, and helped herself to more. “Not bad at all.”
“Well,” he said, slowly coming to terms with the impossible. “I guess you’re right.”
“Yep.”
“I mean, how can there be anything in the world that I can’t do?” Or maybe it wasn’t so hard to accept his newfound skill after all.
She shook her head at his inflated ego, but allowed him to gloat, since she knew it was his determination and sincerity that had made him so successful that night. Sasithorn mentally nodded in approval of her lover’s brother and knew at that moment that she could trust him.
Nothing is Eternal
*Starring*
Nadech as Athit
Yaya as Sasithorn
** Author's Note**
Will be reposting old chapters, some with revisions. Gosh there were so many typos. For anyone who read this ff when it was originally posted, the newest chapter starts at Chapter 19. I’m hoping to complete this fanfic this year. I’m even considering writing a part 2 starring a different couple. I couldn't find the old thread, so any admin, if it's still out there please help delete. Thanks much.
Chapter 1
Dead. That was the word that echoed through his head louder than ever as he stood outside the wat a week after receiving the call. The only person who had ever been his family was dead, as truly as the dirt lay beneath his feet. His eyes lifted to the gray sky, where the sun seemed to hide in shame.
He entered the wat and searched out the memorial area that contained his brother’s name and ashes. Only then did he catch sight of the flowers next to the memorial for the first time, and realized what they meant. The flowers meant that he was not the only one grieving for the loss of his friend and brother. His brother. The strangest thing was that he could not recollect anyone who would have taken the care to lay such beautiful flowers there. They were so clean that they must have just been laid out that very morning. His watch told him it was seven in the morning. Who would have woken up before the sun to grieve for Tawan other than Athit himself?
------
Athit’s eyes opened, the misty sky peeking through the slit between the curtains hanging over the window. It was still early, but he couldn’t sleep any longer.
‘Take a break. Have some time to soak in the news,’ was what Wattana had suggested. Athit wasn’t sure how much more he could soak up. Loneliness seemed to be endlessly generous, and grief all too willing company. And the duo was never complete without regret. Athit wished more than ever that he had spent as much time with Tawan as possible. But there had never been anything to suggest they wouldn’t have so much more time together.
Without knowing it, he was already on the road back to the wat. How mercilessly ironic. The person was gone and only now was lost time being made up.
Six a.m. Athit stood with hands shoved in his pockets, eyes on the red flowers, fresh as if each night the moon fed them with rejuvenating dew. Five days in a row he had come here and stared at these flowers that never wilted. Obviously they were being replaced every day.
Ambling back down the path on the wat grounds, Athit relived old memories. Their childhood, their education, the childish rivalry that only served to strengthen an everlasting bond. People said two suns couldn’t exist in one sky, but he and Tawan had proved them wrong. They never quarreled, they trusted each other with their lives. They’d kept in contact all the five years that Athit had gone abroad to work and never once was there a dip in their friendship. Except that five months earlier, he’d learned that Tawan had been keeping something from him. Upon hearing the news of what his brother had done, and who he had decided to work for, Athit had been adamant that Tawan back out. But Tawan insisted it was too late—Athit knew he was right too, and though his instincts told him to return home, Tawan swayed him into focusing on his work, promising his elder brother that nothing would go wrong, that their boss was taking care of him well.
And now, Tawan was gone.
.
Athit’s jaw stretched in a ferocious yawn. His curiosity was getting the better of him. He wanted to know who this person was who was visiting Tawan’s memorial every day, so he’d forced his butt out of bed at four a.m. and was at the wat dark and early, the sky just barely tinted with pink.
His tired eyes blinked several times when a silhouette came into focus. Someone was outside the building. It had to be the one. Yes, there were the flowers. Athit drew closer and then his footsteps slowed. The person was a woman. And more clearly still, she was pregnant. Athit thought he would find answers, but he was now more confused than ever.
The next morning he was back and watched as the woman offered her flowers to Tawan, and sat on a mat on the ground. Why was she staying so long? He could see her lips moving. Athit breathed a light laugh not of derision but of surprise. The woman was talking to Tawan and having quite an animated discussion too, by the way her hands flew about with gestures and her smiles. Athit wondered if she was crazy. No, he had seen true insanity before.
Deciding not to disturb her, he stepped outside, took a deep breath from the morning air, and returned to the car, stretching his arms. There were other matters for him to think over, he thought, as his hands clenched into fists.
.
For the next few days Athit continued to watch the woman from afar. He grew familiar with her face and her smile. She had large eyes and from his lookout spot, he wondered whether she was full blooded Thai. He could never catch any of her words clearly and without knowing why, he didn’t dare reveal himself. For some reason, he felt it would break some kind of spell, and the fact was, she looked so happy when she was sitting beside Tawan’s memorial, as if Tawan was right there next to her, that Athit felt like he could see his brother too.
Wattana asked over the phone, “Have any of the others contacted you?”
“No.” Athit hadn’t found it necessary to meet with any of his people in Thailand—at least not for now. But when he called for them, they would have a lot to answer for. He just wanted time alone at the moment. He yawned loudly.
“What’s up with you?”
“Tired. I’m going to bed now. Call if anything comes up.”
“What, already? It can’t be that late over there.”
Athit smiled. He still wasn’t used to his new sleep schedule, but was determined to keep up with the nameless woman.
------
“Damn.” He hurried into the memorial building. Panting from his rush, Athit arrived in time to see her push herself up from the ground. He still wondered how she could endure sitting on the hard ground for so long, but she never seemed to mind. Brushing her hands, then gathering yesterday’s flowers, she momentarily rested one hand on her slightly protruding belly and closed her eyes as if fighting off a dizzy spell. Athit put one foot out of the shadows, but the moment passed, and she strolled away in the opposite direction with a steady gait.
Standing in silence for a few minutes to stare at Tawan’s resting place, Athit finally decided to go back to the hotel. Nearing the wat’s entrance, he paused, with a strange ill-foreboding tingle sliding down his spine. What did it mean? He didn’t have a grasp on answers, but already, his feet turned around and retraced their way back where they’d come from. The memorial had a few other people, but the woman was gone. He tried one of the other exit routes. She was not yet in sight, but his feet didn’t stop moving, searching.
And now, they were running in reaction to the image that met his eyes –the woman had come into view. He witnessed the agonizing consequences of her feet halting, the forward motion of her body as it lost strength and the red flowers spilling across her body, trailing on the grass.
.
.
She opened her eyes to a half-darkness penetrated by soft light coming from a window. Bracing herself on her elbows, she blinked back the remainder of her grogginess and realized she was in a hospital room. That fact established, she instinctively pressed her hand to her abdomen, and relaxed when she felt the soft roundness.
“You’re awake.” Athit had been dozing lightly on the couch and only just noticed her movement. He swept his eyes around the room and then at the door. Satisfied that nothing was out of order, he turned back to her. She returned his gaze with curiosity so that he felt compelled to reassure her.
“Sorry I haven’t introduced myself. My name is Athit. I…” He noticed her eyes grew slightly rounder at the mention of his name, as if he had only just magically appeared. “I saw you at the wat when, you know, you fell, so I brought you here. How are you feeling?”
“Fine. Thank you.” She offered a gentle smile and he felt relieved that she wasn’t panicked or scared around him.
Having only watched her from afar before, he finally took note of her sharp yet delicate features—she was very pretty.
“I’m sorry to have bothered you. I should be going on my way now.”
“No!” He objected, seeing her about to push her blanket away. “You should wait until the doctor allows it. She said, er…” Athit winced sheepishly. “Sorry, we didn’t know who to call, and I happened to be there so she told me about your health situation.”
“My situation of being pregnant?” she asked in a deadpan voice.
He saw laughter in her eyes, and mentally laughed at himself for the roundabout words he chose. Biting back his own smile, Athit said, “It would be better if you rested well before leaving.”
She released a soft breath. “I’m grateful, but I can’t afford to stay here.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that. I’ll help you.”
“I couldn’t expect you to do such a thing, though I’m thankful for the offer.”
He watched in dismay as she slowly slid off the bed. “I’ve heard your voice before.”
His words made her pause. “Excuse me?” she asked.
Athit pursed his lips sternly. He was certain now, where he’d heard her voice. “Before you leave, let me ask you something. Why do you visit Tawan?”
She froze. They stared at one another as silence blanketed the atmosphere. “You saw me?”
He nodded. “Actually, I’ve watched you there for almost a week.” He stopped. “That…sounded a lot creepier than I meant it to.” As a smile stretched her face once more, he breathed a quiet laugh.
“So it was you.”
“Hm?”
She lifted her eyes to him. “I kept having a feeling this past week like someone was present with me, and the aura was similar to Tawan’s, so I thought maybe his spirit was visiting me.” She seemed unembarrassed by her wishful thinking. “But no wonder your presence felt similar.”
“So you mean you know who I am?”
She hesitated, then nodded.
“So it really was you, who called to tell me that he died.”
Curious by this since she hadn’t given her name when they spoke over the phone, she asked, “How did you know?”
“I recognize your voice.”
Her eyes appraised him upon hearing this. “It’s just like what he told me about you. You memorize sounds well.”
This did not particularly please Athit. “Will you tell me your name? And how you met Tawan?” He made his way over and led her to sit back on the bed comfortably. “I don’t know how close you were to him, but he would never give my phone number to just anyone.”
She pleasantly complied. “My name is…Sasithorn, and…” She smiled down at her slightly swollen abdomen. “Can you guess how close I was to Tawan?”
Of course, he had suspected they’d been in a relationship of some sort, but Athit hadn’t allowed himself to take that suspicion seriously. As if reading his thoughts, even though his face had given nothing away, Sasithorn said with amusement, “You must be wondering how it happened.” Her eyes glowed at some vivid endearing memories. “All it took was a moment of chance for us to meet and from there, he and I both knew we would be together.”
But why would Tawan have never mentioned her to Athit? As soon as the question formed, so did the answer. Athit observed the fragile woman beside him, thin yet sturdy, small yet full of energy. Tawan must have wanted to keep her safe.
“You said he told you about me. What sorts of things did he say?”
“Oh, nothing much about your job or…” She fished around idly for a word. “Or your lifestyle. Just the important things, like your personality and passions.”
He couldn’t tell if she was serious or not. Anyone else would disagree that his “lifestyle” wasn’t important.
“There’s more I want to know.”
“I’m sure you have ways of finding more information than I could tell you.”
That was true, but those things could wait. He cleared his throat. “If you truly are Tawan’s woman, then as his brother, I wish to assist you as much as possible.”
“You must have more important things to take care of.”
“No. Nothing is as important as family…which is what you have become.” He firmly kept his eyes on her, serious and not wanting to hear any opposition. “Let me give you as much assistance as you need.”
“I guess I could use a hand.” She smiled and it made him feel like she was doing him a favor. “I don’t really have anyone else.”
For some reason, he had assumed she was alone ever since seeing her. Yet he didn’t get the sense that she was a lonely person. “It’ll be easiest if we simply stay together in one place. Are you okay with that? I’ll make arrangements so you’ll be comfortable. Is there anything you need to move? Otherwise, I can provide whatever you need.”
Her face grew stern for the first time. “No. If we’re going to be living together, we must live at my apartment.”
His brow puckered. “Your apartment?” as if he could not fathom her suggestion.
Sasithorn’s face lit up again, nodding like a child who was excited about her new playmate. Athit wasn’t sure how, but her warm smile had a calming effect on him, and he was slowly understanding why Tawan had chosen to be with her.
Chapter 2
Her apartment was clean and small, and he wanted to do whatever would make Sasithorn most comfortable, so he consented to staying at her place, though he wished she had allowed him to give her better residence.
“I’m afraid there’s only one room, so…” She glanced at the couch.
He nodded. “Thanks. This will do just fine.” He entered and set a duffel bag down, peering out of the window at the narrow road below that was busy with cars and taxis. There was a fire escape ladder near the window, but no other way to reach her apartment aside from the door. “Did Tawan ever come here?”
She joined him at his side. “M-hm.” Suddenly, she shook with giggles. “He used to complain about the geckos.”
“Geckos?”
“Don’t tell me you’re scared of them too?” she asked with fascinated eyes.
Athit snorted. “No.” Then he chuckled too, imagining Tawan paranoidly searching for small critters. “That wuss…”
“Are you hungry? I was about to cook dinner.”
He checked his watch. “You don’t have to worry about that.” Right then, the doorbell rang.
“Who could that be?”
“I’ll get it.” He made his way to the door and in came a solemn looking woman with bags of groceries. He acknowledged her with a nod. She inclined her head respectfully back at him, then at Sasithorn, before stoically moving to the kitchen.
“Who did you just invite into my home?” Sasithorn asked, more with interest than with fear.
“Your new cook. From now on, you’re not going to be doing any physical labor. I’m also delivering some furniture and tomorrow you have an appointment at the doctor for a checkup. Oh, and I’ve already informed your workplace that you won’t be employed for them anymore.”
For a moment, she stared in stunned silence.
. .
“Hey, let go!” Athit rubbed his ear in shock when Sasithorn released her death grip on it. After kicking out the cook, she had twisted his ear and dragged him to the table, forcing him down on a seat. It had been such a long time since he’d received physical punishment from anyone and especially someone who should have been so much weaker than him, that Athit was both indignant and in awe that Sasithorn had dared do it.
Hands on her hips, Sasithorn frowned at him severely. “Let’s make one thing clear. Just because I accepted your help and just because you have resources that I don’t, does NOT make it okay for you to run my life and make decisions for me.”
“But it was all with good intentions,” he argued.
“I understand that well, however, you cannot just change my life without informing me! And you better make sure I haven’t lost my job.”
“Look, I can afford these things, so it’s not like you need it—“
That only seemed to fuel her fury, as she narrowed her eyes to slits, which didn’t scare Athit, but he had to commend her for giving off such an authoritative air. “I’m not about to siphon a free living off of you. I accepted your offer to help while I am…not in optimal shape. BUT,” she snapped, “anything that has to do with my life, I can handle by myself. Is that clear?”
He stood up to tower over her darkly, but she didn’t back down and he wasn’t sure if that was just because she was a determined woman or if the child inside of her was hogging all her nutrition—because under normal conditions, anyone who received that look from him would have yielded to his demands. So he was forced to agree.
“Fine…” he said with a short sigh.
“And cancel whatever you ordered.” She made a face. “We don’t need any of it.”
He caught the stern glare from her and took out his phone to obey, against his better judgment. “But you still have to go to the doctor appointment.” He said this with his brow set strictly so that she knew he wasn’t going to budge on this subject.
“Fine.”.
He got up to go make his calls.
When he returned, he found her on a chair putting the groceries that the chef brought over in the upper cupboards.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” He went over and promptly lifted her down.
“Okay, what the heck?” she asked, looking up at him in confusion.
“Hello, there happens to be a child inside of you who is off-setting the balance of your body making it highly possible that you fall and hurt yourself and said child, who happens to be the child of my brother too,” he scolded. “You know what, I’ll let you off this once because I’m sure all the brain power that goes into feeding your common sense is being absorbed by the child, but don’t let me catch you without your feet planted on the ground again, got that?” He caught the amused expression on her face and narrowed his eyes to make sure she knew he wasn’t joking. “Got it?” he repeated in a low voice.
“Yes sir.” She saluted him with twinkling eyes.
He unfolded his arms and looked at the remaining groceries. “I can finish up here. You go rest.”
She scoffed. “Being pregnant does not make me a handicap. I’m not tired either. I’m hungry.”
“I’ll go buy dinner in a bit.”
“Why? We have all these groceries,” she pointed out.
“Well who’s going to cook? Cause the chef’s gone and I sure as hell can’t.”
She looked at Athit like he was slow. “I’M going to cook.”
He looked back at her like she was the slow one. “Let’s back up. I believe I stated very clearly that you are not allowed to be on your feet doing physical work.”
She blinked in disbelief. “But I’m hungry,” she repeated.
“That’s why I said I’ll go buy dinner.”
“I don’t want restaurant food, I want to eat a home-cooked meal.”
“But you can’t because it’s too much work.”
“No it’s not.”
“For someone of your…” he waved his hand at her, “…condition, it IS.”
She gave him a ‘WTH’ look at his vague description of her current pregnancy state. Sighing, she said, “I can make a quick meal.”
“Not gonna happen.” He shook his head.
“Oh my gosh, it’s no big deal,” she argued. “I can whip up a really simple dish for the both of us, just like that.” She snapped her fingers.
“I think it’s best if you follow my advice.”
Frowning stubbornly, she said, “Well I’m not going to.”
“Well you’re not cooking,” he responded unyieldingly.
“Then WHAT do you suggest, Mr. Athit?”
.
.
“Shit,” Athit cussed as he dropped the scalding pot-cover into the sink. After briefly blowing on his hands, he added some mutilated pieces of vegetables into the boiling water, which splashed unexpectedly at him, making him quickly withdraw his hands with another well-chosen swear word under his breath. Sweat draped his temples as he turned back to the island counter.
His inexperience and the heat from the stove making him edgy, Athit took his frustration out on the fish on the cutting board. Chop! Off with its head.
“Now rinse it and add it to the pot,” came Sasithorn’s instructions.
After Sasithorn realized he wasn’t going to give in, she came up with the idea for him to do the cooking under her direction, and after realizing that SHE wasn’t going to give in, Athit agreed. Of course, he wasn’t so sure he should have yielded so fast. Two fingers on his left hand were adorned with Mickey Mouse bandaids after the knife accidentally caressed them—not that they hurt or anything, but the band aids made his fingers stiff which got in the way of his already clumsy efforts at cooking. And this was only after he had failed to boil water, having carelessly turned on the wrong knob on the stove and made them wait a curiously long fifteen minutes before realizing why the water was not bubbling.
He leaped back when the slippery headless fish slipped from his hand and dived into the pot.
“You should have kept it on the cutting board and just slid it slowly in,” Sasithorn chided, shaking her head. “I could have gotten this done so much faster.”
He sent her a resentful glare for not appreciating all his efforts to make things easier for her, though if he had to admit—and NO ONE could make him admit it—he agreed with her.
“You’ve never cooked before, have you? You’re such a stereotypical man.”
“Excuse me?” He turned to her, hand on his hip. “I have indeed cooked before.” How did she think he and Tawan survived their childhood? “And for your information, I’m not ANY kind of typical in the world.”
“Okay, no need to get offended.” She raised a brow.
He tossed hair away from his forehead. “Anyway, it’s not like you’re not used to this. I mean, Tawan never cooked either.”
“He cooked all the time.”
If he’d been sitting, Athit would have fallen off his chair. “What?”
“You didn’t know?”
He shook his head in amazement, as if he’d discovered the eighth wonder of the world. “Tawan…cooking?”
“Why is that so hard to believe? I mean, look at you.”
Athit looked down at his apron and then up at the wooden spoon in his hand. He closed his eyes against how ridiculous he must look at that moment and was thankful nobody he knew was there to see him.
“Geez, it’s not such a bad thing being a man who cooks,” Sasithorn said, reading his mind.
“Well maybe not in your world, but in mine…”
She nodded understandingly. “You’d probably lose all your credentials if you went to work with ‘Kiss the Cook’ on any article of clothing you wore.”
He nodded back solemnly, before he returned his narrowed gaze to her. “And what would you know about my credentials? I thought you said Tawan never told you about my job.”
“He didn’t much. Anyway, add some salt,” she said.
Not fully content with her answer, he set aside his suspicion for now. There would be time later to question her about just how much she knew. Athit decided to focus on the task at hand and took hold of the salt container and daintily shook it over the pot.
“More.”
He shook.
“More.”
He shook.
“For goodness sake Athit!”
“What?! I don’t know how much is enough and I don’t want to overdo it.”
She creased her brow in amusement, certain that there were few things in life that he was this awkward at. Even if she hadn’t known him long, simply his demeanor that exuded self-confidence told the world he was used to being good at everything. Sasithorn leaned her elbows on the counter and observed his rugged features that pronounced the masculinity in him, while his concentration on the food produced an adorable side effect.
“Athit, you’re handsome.”
He looked her. “Sister-in-law, are you hitting on me?”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Uh, NO. I just like to give well-deserved compliments.” And he did deserve it, because as overbearing as he already was, he had been nothing but kind to her. If anyone was cruel, they could never be beautiful in her eyes. “Thanks.”
“What for?”
“For making dinner.”
“By the way, let me know when it’s ready, ‘cause if you leave it up to me, I’d judge based on the smoke alarm.”
“Let it simmer for ten minutes and then we’re gold.”
Finally, they sat down at the table for dinner. Sasithorn looked over and almost laughed out loud at the face he was making down at his bowl. He looked repulsed by what he’d created. The fish meat was broken in chunks since he’d over-stirred and the lumps of vegetables swimming in the bowl flaunted their ugly shapes.
Clearing his throat, trying to hide his embarrassment, Athit said, “You don’t have to eat it. I can quickly pick something up from—“ He stopped abruptly when seeing her chomp a spoonful of the stew. Great, he had poisoned Tawan’s girlfriend.
“Mm…” She made a thoughtful face after swallowing.
What was that, a moan of pain before she keeled over? Then Sasithorn couldn’t help it anymore. She burst out laughing.
Her giggles subsiding as he looked at her like she was crazy, she said, “Athit, you need to relax.”
“How can I relax when Tawan’s ghost will be haunting me tonight for feeding you this crap?” He scoffed in disgust with himself. “Let’s toss it.”
She stopped him from reaching for her bowl. “Whoa! You didn’t even try it, why would you throw it away. If there’s one rule you have to follow under my roof, it’s that we don’t waste food.” She pointed her spoon at him and motioned for him to taste the soup.
Hesitantly, he picked up his spoon and dipped it in his bowl, bringing up a chunk of meat. Grimacing, he forced himself to eat it and was surprised that it was actually…
“Not bad, Chef Athit.” Sasithorn beamed over at him, and helped herself to more. “Not bad at all.”
“Well,” he said, slowly coming to terms with the impossible. “I guess you’re right.”
“Yep.”
“I mean, how can there be anything in the world that I can’t do?” Or maybe it wasn’t so hard to accept his newfound skill after all.
She shook her head at his inflated ego, but allowed him to gloat, since she knew it was his determination and sincerity that had made him so successful that night. Sasithorn mentally nodded in approval of her lover’s brother and knew at that moment that she could trust him.
