Okay..what do you guys think?! really need help

[pretty_gurl]

okay..what do you guys think...IFY, i know it's not good to gossip about other people especially people in your family, but i really want some opinions from you guys....Recently, my cousin just got back from a marriage. I know that her husband and she love each other a lot, but then the thing is that her husband doesn't have parents....When they are to come do the wedding, his side of the family wouldn't come do the wedding, so he have no choice, but to send my cousin back to her parents....

When they send her back, all she did was cry and cry begging her husband to take her back...Her husband was also crying..it was really sad to watch

the problems are just getting very intense now...she wanna marry him, but he don't want to marry her now...the problem aren't going very well at all, so her side of the family and his side of the family agree to call the police and report the problems that have happen, in case if my cousin kill herself it won't be the parents and his side of the family fault and if he kill himself it won't be her side of the family and his side of the family fault. My cousin didn't know that my father and some elder call the cops, when my cousin know that they call the cops over, she went crazy. I remember my father and some elder ask her if she want to jail her husband or not since her husband rape her too when they both were still dating, but she said that never in her whole life she'll put her husband in jail, because she love him a lot. And blah blah...

right now, my cousin and her husband misses each other a lot...they wanted to be together again, but then with the cops involve his side of the family really hate my cousin now...Even if they are going to get together again, his side of the family wouldn't help him...My cousin is getting sicker and sicker each day because she misses him a lot and really wanna be with her husband...her husband wont see her because he is scare that he'll be put in jail...But the thing is that no one want to put him in jail, it's just rumors that stupid make up.

right now my cousin is label as a mental person, since she has thoughts of killing herself.

What should we do to make my cousin happy again?

 

[D_D]

okay..what do you guys think...IFY, i know it's not good to gossip about other people especially people in your family, but i really want some opinions from you guys....Recently, my cousin just got back from a marriage. I know that her husband and she love each other a lot, but then the thing is that her husband doesn't have parents....When they are to come do the wedding, his side of the family wouldn't come do the wedding, so he have no choice, but to send my cousin back to her parents....

When they send her back, all she did was cry and cry begging her husband to take her back...Her husband was also crying..it was really sad to watch

the problems are just getting very intense now...she wanna marry him, but he don't want to marry her now...the problem aren't going very well at all, so her side of the family and his side of the family agree to call the police and report the problems that have happen, in case if my cousin kill herself it won't be the parents and his side of the family fault and if he kill himself it won't be her side of the family and his side of the family fault. My cousin didn't know that my father and some elder call the cops, when my cousin know that they call the cops over, she went crazy. I remember my father and some elder ask her if she want to jail her husband or not since her husband rape her too when they both were still dating, but she said that never in her whole life she'll put her husband in jail, because she love him a lot. And blah blah...

right now, my cousin and her husband misses each other a lot...they wanted to be together again, but then with the cops involve his side of the family really hate my cousin now...Even if they are going to get together again, his side of the family wouldn't help him...My cousin is getting sicker and sicker each day because she misses him a lot and really wanna be with her husband...her husband wont see her because he is scare that he'll be put in jail...But the thing is that no one want to put him in jail, it's just rumors that stupid make up.

right now my cousin is label as a mental person, since she has thoughts of killing herself.

What should we do to make my cousin happy again?

If they love each other, why stop them? This experience can harm her forever....right now, she is hurting emotionally, physcially, and mentally. Does the husband really love her? If so, why can't he come and get her? WAIT??? Is she under age? Most importantly, right now, I'm ONLY thinking of saving her life and her happiness which is.....HER HAPPINESS IS HER HUSBAND......

 

[pretty_gurl]

If they love each other, why stop them? This experience can harm her forever....right now, she is hurting emotionally, physcially, and mentally. Does the husband really love her? If so, why can't he come and get her? WAIT??? Is she under age? Most importantly, right now, I'm ONLY thinking of saving her life and her happiness which is.....HER HAPPINESS IS HER HUSBAND......

No, she's almost 20 years old. We didn't mean to stop them or didn't have thought that this will happen...Things just happen...I think her husband really love her. All i can say is that no one will ever love my cousin as much as he love her. But i guess, because of money problems and family face, they won't let them be together. Even if they can be together, his family really hate my cousin too, because of the police getting involved. All i know is that his side of the family hate my cousin to the cord. We all don't know what to do. Her husband is scare to come and see her.

 

[kaab nis]

all i can say is that this situation could have been avoided from the very beginning...sometimes I think Hmong traditiion can be really stupid...I'm sorry but to get the police involve is kinda stupid plus if he really loved her and if she already left with him then why bring her back? this so call "Love" that they have for each other seems useless...

but right now I'm more worry for her. She's having thougths of suicide? then she really needs help and it sounds like her so call husband doesn't have the balls to do anything. He's afraid of seeing her? why is he afraid? he has the balls to take her home, marry her, and then returns her claiming he still loves her but he doesn't have the balls to come see her?

but I'm not getting the whole story here too though so my response might be very offensive...she's almost 20 why is she in such a rush to get marry? her parents claim that he raped her? In what ways do they know that when she's willing to go back to him? would you ever go back to someone who raped and torture you? from what you said he clearly doesn't want her back...

ugh!!! and it all started because he's an orphan and didn't have money to pay the marriage...now both sides of the families hate each other...how fcking stupid is that...I really hate the price of a bride. this is america!!! you're fighitng and ruining a couples future together for $5000-$8000 dollars? so stupid I say. this situation could have so been avoided if they would have waited and not rush to get marry or if they would have negotiated with the parents and relatives but some hmong OGs are stu[id and stubborn so this was the outcome that it came to...your cousin is only 20...I don't know how old her husband is but 20 is still very young.

check her into rehab...knock some sense into her. I know it's easier said than done but right now what she needs the most is to talk out all her problems to a specialist...but yet again knowing some hmong people they don't believe in that shit so they'll just let their children suffer until they see then dead right in fron tof their eyes...

gosh hope everything works out in the end. Wish your cousin luck!

 

[HuabNag]

if her husband really love her that much, he wouldn't bring her back...cause now lot of people living together without going through the traditional marriage and many parents will wait till he can collect enough for the wedding. Some of my cousins, niece have been living with their husband for 2 to 3 years and having 3 or more kids before they come to do the wedding...I don't believe he really love her. He just playing the good guy to make her parent look bad. A man who really love and care about you would not just bring you back to your parent because he can't offord to arrange the marriage...there are alternative way to go around the problem...I think your cousin just blind by his words not love...

I seriously think she needs help because she live her life by depending on other people...we need to depend on ourselves not others. I do feel sorry for her too, but I think if she harms herself just because other then she doesn't worth the love and care her parent, family, cousin give to her.

Look at the situation...how her husband did to her, he took her back to her parent and what did her parent do...they take her back...if she is thoughtful enough she would be able to understand thing better now....Remember regardless how bad, terrible things we had done in the past...parent always forgive us...but she just too blind to see this at this moment and try to commit sucide just because she didn't get to be with the man she thinks he loves her...

Hope that she will be okay and realize that this man is not strong enough to protect and care for her in the future because if he is a man, he wouldnt give up on litle problem like this, he can't even stand up to protect her or find other ways.

Sorry, I just feel like this man is so weak that he is not able to defend or protect the woman he says he loves and let her suffer through all those pains and she didn't even realize it.

 

[pretty_gurl]

if her husband really love her that much, he wouldn't bring her back...cause now lot of people living together without going through the traditional marriage and many parents will wait till he can collect enough for the wedding. Some of my cousins, niece have been living with their husband for 2 to 3 years and having 3 or more kids before they come to do the wedding...I don't believe he really love her. He just playing the good guy to make her parent look bad. A man who really love and care about you would not just bring you back to your parent because he can't offord to arrange the marriage...there are alternative way to go around the problem...I think your cousin just blind by his words not love...

I seriously think she needs help because she live her life by depending on other people...we need to depend on ourselves not others. I do feel sorry for her too, but I think if she harms herself just because other then she doesn't worth the love and care her parent, family, cousin give to her.

Look at the situation...how her husband did to her, he took her back to her parent and what did her parent do...they take her back...if she is thoughtful enough she would be able to understand thing better now....Remember regardless how bad, terrible things we had done in the past...parent always forgive us...but she just too blind to see this at this moment and try to commit sucide just because she didn't get to be with the man she thinks he loves her...

Hope that she will be okay and realize that this man is not strong enough to protect and care for her in the future because if he is a man, he wouldnt give up on litle problem like this, he can't even stand up to protect her or find other ways.

Sorry, I just feel like this man is so weak that he is not able to defend or protect the woman he says he loves and let her suffer through all those pains and she didn't even realize it.

i agree right...well, my cousin and him tried to run away, but was caught...know even more deeper problems. i think she might be pregnant too.

 

[ugh245]

aww..how sad..i wouldnt stop goo relationship like that..
and its very bad too died too...maybe you guys should take
her somewhere where there is fresh air and beautiful places
that she never seen..

 

[YM_gurl]

okay..what do you guys think...IFY, i know it's not good to gossip about other people especially people in your family, but i really want some opinions from you guys....Recently, my cousin just got back from a marriage. I know that her husband and she love each other a lot, but then the thing is that her husband doesn't have parents....When they are to come do the wedding, his side of the family wouldn't come do the wedding, so he have no choice, but to send my cousin back to her parents....

When they send her back, all she did was cry and cry begging her husband to take her back...Her husband was also crying..it was really sad to watch

the problems are just getting very intense now...she wanna marry him, but he don't want to marry her now...the problem aren't going very well at all, so her side of the family and his side of the family agree to call the police and report the problems that have happen, in case if my cousin kill herself it won't be the parents and his side of the family fault and if he kill himself it won't be her side of the family and his side of the family fault. My cousin didn't know that my father and some elder call the cops, when my cousin know that they call the cops over, she went crazy. I remember my father and some elder ask her if she want to jail her husband or not since her husband rape her too when they both were still dating, but she said that never in her whole life she'll put her husband in jail, because she love him a lot. And blah blah...

right now, my cousin and her husband misses each other a lot...they wanted to be together again, but then with the cops involve his side of the family really hate my cousin now...Even if they are going to get together again, his side of the family wouldn't help him...My cousin is getting sicker and sicker each day because she misses him a lot and really wanna be with her husband...her husband wont see her because he is scare that he'll be put in jail...But the thing is that no one want to put him in jail, it's just rumors that stupid make up.

right now my cousin is label as a mental person, since she has thoughts of killing herself.

What should we do to make my cousin happy again?

This is stupid. Why did her boyfriend take her home if he knew damn right that he won't have anyone to go "fee-saw" however you spell that word. And why did she follow him home too. Sounds like it was not plan. Both are not thinking straight.

You guys called the police?! wow! You guys should have just deal with it yourself. LOL
Rape? If she is so willing to married him, I wouldn't consider that rape but willing.

Doesn't matter how much they want to be together now, because if his family was willing to let them married. They
would have help him from the beginning but they didn't, so that means they won't help him no matter what. very sad.

Now, they will have to work hard and strive to be together if still loves her. He needs to step up and be a man.
Call her and visit her! But if he doesn't love her no more, your cousin is out of luck.

Anyways, what your cousin needs to do now, is get a hold of herself and wake the hell up and stop acting like a baby.
I know, she's probably very very in love with her boyfriend but being emo is not going to help solve anything.
You should talk to her, try to convince her to strive for what she love whether than to sit and hope that everything will be
okay. It's not a movie. It's reality. Things don't come together unless you put it together.

 

[yeexiong01]

wow...this is sad...i mean my problem have never been that big...
my husband lives with his uncle while his parent are divorced....
but when we wanted to get married....his uncle did do it until later my husband was like he don't like the hmong tradition and not only that but his uncle ask him for $13,000 for the wedding and then later on ask for $15,000...this is kind of weird but my husband disagree with him and we later left that night to fresno cause i have school in the morning..
during that morning, his uncle keeps on calling my husband about the money and that if he goes and talk with my parents, then for the both of us leave their house. Not only that, he threaten my husband that he will call my parents and tell them about my husband not being a good person, not done with college and those others stuffs so that he can't marry me. I mean that was gay but whatever. My parent do care about those stuff but they didn't cut the relationship betweent the two of us. But I'm glad that my side of the family understand what he was going through so we did a little wedding for my side, and they also helped us alot. Not only that, my parent only ask for $5800 for the dowry and whatever money is left, they gave it back to us. So this comes down to money and losing faces...people these days...NOw look at his son, got his wife, but haven't done the wedding yet...i don't even think there is ever going to be a wedding because they have no money...and they gamble too much...

 

[stephanie]

wow.... tht sucks! they should elope! haha... i mean look at hmong couples these days... they move in with each other already... who cares about dissapointing the elders, they'll eventually get it through their thick skulls that hmong ppl are becoming more amercanized...

 

[mysuper_girlfriend]

need i mention this is not laos/thailand anymore? if both are over the age of 18yrs old the law or parents simply can't do anything about it unless there is domestic violence or abuse involve. nice story though. maybe it should bring up a idea for a another hmong movie in the near future.

 

[rukmos]

This is the modern world, if people around them don't approve or wont do the wedding, so what? Do your own little wedding that is special for yourself or runaway to Los Vegas! If they really love each other, they wouldn't let anything stop them or let rumors separate them. No offense, but they both need to do what makes them happy and forget what everyone else wants.

 

[mokka]

If her husband/boyfriend really loves her as he claim, he shouldn't have send her back to her parents regardless if he is an orphan or not. He should realized that his relatives aren't gonna be there for him in his future. He should have stand up for himself. I am sure, if he talked with her side of the family, they will eventually accept something and waited till both of them are stable enough to do the wedding. Since he cannot stand up for her, I don't think he loves her enough.

Getting the cops involved is pretty much WOW!!! but totally understand why you guys did it. I am sure there other ways to deal with it.

Your cousin should just realized that it is over and move on with her life. There are more men out there for her. Good luck with your cousin...

 

[madalia3]

i agree with some of the people that guy needs to man up..if he really loves her theres no point in being scared to go see her,,,besides if he loves her then whatever happens he shouldnt be scared, even if he thinks he was gonna get put in jail. i think his cowardice of thinking he's gonna get jailed and not going to see her prove how weak he is with their love...if ur in love and u know that person is the one then u shouldnt let anything get in the way...i mean he's marrying ur cousin not her family or anything, and he shouldnt care if his family hates her or not as long as he can be with her rite?

And wells i think she needs a vacation getaway from all the drama in her life, u guys should take her on a nice vacation since its warm now she can get fresh air and maybe it'll help her calm down alittle bit about everything thats going on in her life and maybe it'll help her heal a little and get through it as well...i mean of coulse it's gonna takea while to heal but i think she can heal if she has her best friend/friends there with her to try and help her forget about the problem at the moment..