Saying "I Love You"

[AzNpAnDa486]

Well I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. 3 years in September to exact. He's 6 years older than me and has never said "I Love You," and every time I say it to him I get a "jaaa" and a kiss on the cheek, and a "thank you." Sometimes when he says "thank you," I say "you're welcome." I mean, it took us awhile to get together. We met each other February of 05, and were just friends and hung out a lot...even in Thailand. We went on a lot of dates and what not but nothing ever happened on these dates because I never knew what he though. Then the day of his sister's wedding...he finally kissed me. That's the official date of our anniversary.

So my question is, do you guys think he loves me? Or am I just being stupid and staying in a relationship that is going nowhere.

He's never cheated. He loves his family. He's takes responsibilities of his family and restaurants. He holds my hand when we're in front of family (which isn't Thai like). He says "krrruupp" and "jaaa" to me. He's like a real pra-aek to me. But it just hurts that he doesn't say anything. Poo chai bahk keng....

My friends are even mind boggled about this. They say we're the cutest couple, but it's just odd how he doesn't say it.

So what do you guys think? PLUS! He's in Thailand for 3 months now....he's gonna get back 2 days before our 3 year anniversary. Hopefully it will be 3 years and the 3 words I am waiting for. =/ I just need an outsiders opinion.

 

[lady0fdarkness]

girl.. I got the same kind of man of 3 years. The guy won't utter those three words!! So I asked him what the heck was his problem.. he just told me, he enjoys showing it rather than using the words. He's a commited hard working man that comes home to me and our 2 year old baby, so I know he aint going no where. Your man is perhaps just like mine.. its hard for them to say those words cause of their mantality... I think your man loves you, eventhough he doesnt say it, but if he doesn't show you in actions, then I think thats when its a problem.

 

[judyp]

i agree w/ ladyofdarkness. its cliche, but actions speak louder than words. you can say as much i love yous as you want, but if your actions say otherwise, then we have a big red flag. i think for some guys, you probably won't hear i love you until you get married. its easier for some while its harder for others. i think what is most important is that he respects and cares for you. and as long as you know hes coming home to you. i can totally understand how you might feel though. you just want to hear it once. hopefully sooner than later you will.

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

Ahh I was in this situation, but the thing is that .... it was I who didn't say those words lol .. I've never really been in a relationship where I was able to say those words openly... so When I got with Tim he told me he loved me all the time and one day I said... LLOL LOL OLOL this may sound mean but I told him, "Lets not say "Love" because we just got together and I don't know if we can feel that way yet." So he changed it to "I like you alot" I laughed lols then one day he was like "you have to say it back say it back!" I was like uhh... mm... then he goes "I know you love me cause I know I love you and even if we just got togehter I do because I've known you for a awhile and I've loved you before I asked you out.... so thats how I know I can say it! Now why can't you say it."
Me: I've never really said it before ... lol ....
Him: What?! But you've had lots of boyfriends
Me: So? You're the first person that I actually been with to where i want to say it but im shy!


So I guess your bf can just be shy? I know I was .. to shy and embarrass to say it. he is probably those guys that don't really open up... .. but trust me when he does say it ... it'll be very special! Sometimes you just have to be patience even though it takes 3 years ... if he's still with you then he must feel it ;] 3 years is a long time... you don't stay in a committed relationship with someone unless you love them...

 

[ohitsnoyyy]

i agree with the 3 ladies before me! ^_^

some guys just have trouble showing feelings or expressing their feelings. i'm sure he loves you hunn. don't stress over it. Just give it more time.

 

[AzNpAnDa486]

Thank you guys soo much. You guys made me feel better.

 

[sirena]

haha i remember back then in high skool i had this bf he cool and all

but then the day came

he drop the 3 bombs

when he said it i had no choice i was freakin out cuz no one ever said that to me in that way of feeling

so i was like i love you more hahaha

but i didnt mean it

i felt bad

then i broke up with him

 

[Quarter]

^LOL omg that got me laughing.

anways topic starter, you need to date my bf, he says "i love you baby" sooooo much that it annoys me. sounds so fake now. but when he first said it to me, which had only been ONE month, I awkwardly replied "thank you" LOL. not only that, he added a really gay line which was "i can't stop myself from falling in love with you". lord i laughed in his face, and since i was drunk too, man i double laughed. i laughed so hard my head landed on his lap. he got so mad LOL

 

[STIMA]

^HAHA that reminds me of mine. AHhah -_-
but yeah i thnk that , its obvious that he loves you
and it's actually really hard to say i love you to people you really love
i notice that once i start loving my guy , i kind of have a harder time saying it
but yeah, i'm sure he loves you , being with you with this long without any problems

 

[Liberty]

lol That's kinda funny.
Well, you could always just ask him, if he says yes or no that pretty much answers the "I love you" part without him having to say it.
Some people (women included) have a hard time saying those words.

My boyfriend and I have been together a little longer than you two but neither one of us have said the "L" word to each other.
We have a good relationship even though he pisses me off sometimes.

Stima is right, it's harder to say "I love you" to someone you actually love. I've only ever said it twice and I didn't mean it the way that they thought I meant it (Not the I love you, I-want- to-have-your-babies kind of love. It was more like, I love you in a friendship we've-been-together-so-long kind.), so I stopped saying it.

I agree. If he's been with you this long, treats you with respect and love (even if he doesn't say it) and doesn't cheat on you, he probably does love you.

 

[ijohn]

...i promised myself not to say it anymore... of course i say it in a fatherly manner to my son... those worlds are more an idea to strive for more then words to justify actions in a relationship... love is more feelings of joy for most but love is rarely mentioned in a sacrificing manner... i think so many people never really mean it when they say it... it's nice to hear but i've learned it means nothing most times but to be a self serving reply to receiving self serving happiness in any form... actions contain more love then any words tossed into a conversation... you know love seems so fake to me when someone says "Baby i love you" that just turns me off so much it seems so superficial and fake---lol

i do prefer to write those words about past feelings that i felt but i guess love for me is often realized in the past more then the future because i trust very few people and their intentions...

i think i discover love i have for someone in the actions i take even when i feel they will never know my intentions because i need nothing in return for my actions if i love someone...

i've also learned self centered people are not capable of being in love---lmao---it's true,,, so be careful of loose lips and those words: "baby i love you so much"

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

You know when I think about this topic .. it reminds me of my ex... he told me that he loved me for whole year ... i never said it back.. then he asked me did i not love him.. i didn't know what to respond so I said "I do love you" I just have a hard time saying... in my case I didn't mean it and I dont like saying it unless i mean it... so I kind of kept that in mind and then planned to break it off so we had an argument about my sisters birthday deal and then I found out he had a wife... Im glad that I didn't feel what I had said because if I did then it would have hurted more.... sometimes I feel that if you use a word to much then it starts to lose it's meaning... because if "love" is something you can express through words then that might be a thin ice in the relationship... so I think that him showing you affection vs saying it to you is like him trying to tell you that he rather be expressive in the ways that you can see than be expressive in the way that you can hear... man I love my husband words can't describe how much I love that boy... so I don't say I love you much.... unless I did something wrong :loool: and he usually knows hahhahaha that i did something wrong if I said ... "Loser I loveeeeeeeee you..." lol and give a cheesy smile....

 

[YM_gurl]

Well I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. 3 years in September to exact. He's 6 years older than me and has never said "I Love You," and every time I say it to him I get a "jaaa" and a kiss on the cheek, and a "thank you." Sometimes when he says "thank you," I say "you're welcome." I mean, it took us awhile to get together. We met each other February of 05, and were just friends and hung out a lot...even in Thailand. We went on a lot of dates and what not but nothing ever happened on these dates because I never knew what he though. Then the day of his sister's wedding...he finally kissed me. That's the official date of our anniversary.

So my question is, do you guys think he loves me? Or am I just being stupid and staying in a relationship that is going nowhere.

He's never cheated. He loves his family. He's takes responsibilities of his family and restaurants. He holds my hand when we're in front of family (which isn't Thai like). He says "krrruupp" and "jaaa" to me. He's like a real pra-aek to me. But it just hurts that he doesn't say anything. Poo chai bahk keng....

My friends are even mind boggled about this. They say we're the cutest couple, but it's just odd how he doesn't say it.

So what do you guys think? PLUS! He's in Thailand for 3 months now....he's gonna get back 2 days before our 3 year anniversary. Hopefully it will be 3 years and the 3 words I am waiting for. =/ I just need an outsiders opinion.

you're not stupid. maybe he's just not ready to say those words yet.

but, three years && he never said i love you??? that's just sad.

you should ask him, if you're curious. cuz i would.

speaking of this..i,myself do not tell my bf i love him. because deep inside i do && i tell him that too..
sometimes those words are important to people, at the same time. its not to others.

 

[kikiy916]

wen me and my bf starts dating....
at first i didnt lyke hem lyke that so about the second week
we went out he said he love me...and i was lyke okay good nite.
it was on the phone....his friends an everyone told meeh before
we went out that he alredy love meeh before asking meeh out...and yeah
i feel bad...so then i told hem that im not trying to be mean but i want to said that wen i really love hem...
i just dont want to said it and i dont mean it...
from then on he stop saying he love meeh...
until i told hem that i really do love hem and yep.......
i kant stop saying it now and days....

 

[iluvnumandoil]

i've been w/ my hubby for 10 years now and he rarely says i love you and i always ask him " how come you never tell me that, why do i always have to be the one saying it to you" he replied "I show you everyday, dont I?"

 

[fun]

i've been w/ my hubby for 10 years now and he rarely says i love you and i always ask him " how come you never tell me that, why do i always have to be the one saying it to you" he replied "I show you everyday, dont I?"

That has been as long as my brother and his girlfriend been going out and they ain't married yet. Won't be any time soon. I guess if they got married, I would say they were child lovers. They dated when they were in middle school and broke up once for less than 24 hours.

I always say "I love you" to my families and friend but I guess I would have trouble saying it to my boyfriend (which I don't have right now) I love the single life. Baby girl he loves you, he is the type of man we will not be able to find easily. =)

 

[Katerine]

i've been w/ my hubby for 10 years now and he rarely says i love you and i always ask him " how come you never tell me that, why do i always have to be the one saying it to you" he replied "I show you everyday, dont I?"

aww 10 years lol anyhow my dad hardly say i love you to my mum and i asked him the other day why he never say it he replied exactly the same as your huspand did "I show her every day, don't I" but i said back to him " Dad she a woman she need to know you love her and how the heck to you show love?" but he was gonna say somthing which i really didn't want to know that they still do -_- anyhow he came out and said "I'm a bloody man I can't say i love people al the time they're think i'm gay" i know he's my dad but he need a good slap

 

[u00htg2]

Sounds like he loves you.

Words are easy and hold little meaning without the actions to back it up. It's better to have someone who act with caring and concern towards you, and then some fool who says I love you every day and smacks you around.

But I can understand how you're feeling. Everyone once in a while, we do need to hear the words. So just ask him!

 

[myx]

some people are not raise to say i luv you, and saying it would be awkward to them. in my family we don't say i luv u to each other. we respect and got each others back. that shows that we luv the other person. throughout my childhood, i've only say i luv u to lil kids and baby.