Seeking advice for an age old dilemma, unrequited feelings


sarNie Adult
The Story:

I've been neighbor/friends with this family for almost fifteen years and it wasn't until my high school years, seven years ago that I've started noticing the family's eldest son, Gray and developed a crush on him. Now, that was weird that I did because were not even friends, more like strangers when i started to notice him. He was also the type I don't associate with because my circle of friend is very different from his. He was an all start football/basketball (all sports, my school best player) senior in my high school when i was a freshman. i started hearing his name alot and suddenly realized that he is my neighbor all my life. my friend started teasing me one day when I bumped into him (he asked me for help finding a person in the library) and say that I like him. it was then that i discovered that i like him.

Now I hid my feelings even till today, two years after I graduated. However, during these years, I became very close to his parents, especially his father (who is very proud of Gray, btw, and never cease to stop talking about him). Gray's father is like a mentor and father figure to me and I go to him whenever I need someone to talk to. His mother is terrific too. But this summer, she discovered that I like her son but told me she'll help keep it a secret. What's funny is that Gray's father know that I have this feeling for someone and I talk to him alot about it. he always help me to overcome my crush but always suggested that i don't do anything about it since the guy i like is too stupid and blind to even notice me. The funny part is, he never know that the guy that I like is actually his son. (i also have this impression that he wants me and Gray together too b/c he usually hint it time and time again. I know, awkward.)

As for Gray himself, we're still not on friend level. We're like acquainted. he see me alot of his house visiting his parent and was always nice to me. but we never really talked. i usually get flustered around him and avoid going to his house when he is there alone.

However, i've tried many time to get over this feeling and would succeed for a couple of weeks or months. unfortunately, as soon as i see his face, all the feelings come rushing back and i'm at square again.

The personalities:

Gray: A social butterfly, knows everyone and everyone knows him. very skill in martial arts, sports, and very very attractive (believe me, he is like those hottie from the shojo manga where everygirl wants him, lol). he's has alot of friend. Unfortunately, he drinks (but responsibly), smokes, loves to party with his friends, and never lacks female companions, and is always on the go.

Me: the extact opposite of him. I have a small circle of close friends, don't remember names and faces that well, know almost nothing about sports, and i laid back. I hate parties and rather spend my time reading a good book, or watch tv dramas.

overall: We're complete opposites, having no similar interests at all. the only thing we have in common is the fact that we're neighbors. We barely talk and have completely different circle of friends.

The problems:

I'm determined to get over him. I use to want to confront him about my feelings, but neither of us deserve that aggravation. Besides, if it turns out bad, I'll probably don't have the face to visit his family again, even if i only have problems with him. I really like his father and his mother, and i like being over there.

Unfortunately, since now i've never successfully gotten him out of my system. I've though of telling the truth to his father, but that will make it even worst. So i'm out of idea.

anyone willing to help or give advice?


Staff member
From what I hear, "Opposite Attracts" teehee :)
I've never been in a relationship, so my advices aren't worthy enough to help you, but..

If you were to be rejected by him if you were to ever confess, I don't think it'll be a problem at all still visiting his parents. It probably might be awkward at first, but you can finally get him out of your system and move on. And hmm, from what you said, it seems like his father likes you.. so you never know, he might give you a little a boost in helping out the relationship since you two are really close, his mother as well.

If you were to confess, and he accepts.. then it's a happy story ahead~ :)

Anyways, I don't know what else to say.. since I've never been in a relationship.. But I wish you the best in any decisions you'll make. ;) :spin:
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Cupid Candy

sarNie Coma
I have never really been in anything serious so i can't give any valuable advice. But if i were you i would definitely try to be friends with him, i'd suggest you not tell his father, at least not yet if anything between you and his son haven't progressed.

Whenever i'm in this type of situation i tend to just ignore whatever inner feelings.
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sarNie Egg
Would you believe that I am exactly like you? Yes. You!
The total opposite of my honey...who happens to be like..the guy you like.
Don't give up too soon sweetie..stick to your plans,
but what I can tell you is..have a life.
Go out with your friends, mingle and get a hobby
or interest that will take your mind away from him.
You are the most important person in your life..
he's just secondary.
No one pays attention to a gal in a corner..
so you gotta move. Get it? be busy..
Improve your social skills and find what you're good at
this will help you develop your confidence..
and boy, when you're confident..any guy..even your
hottie will come
knocking on your door..
Be positive! good luck!
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