Taking Care of The Bill

[Muddie Murda]

Whenever I'm with someone and we go out to either eat or shop, I usually always pay for everything because I force others to not pay. Like, I race to give them my debit card, or if someone else takes care of the bill, I stuff the money into their bag or something. (Except when I was in Cali and KT and Sarah paid hella things for me, damn you.) I feel BAD if anyone pays for anything (even when it's their own food).

My friend asks, "Why do you feel obligated to pay for everything?" Blehhhh, I don't know, I just feel like I HAVE to. Which is the reason why I'm so poor, and my siblings are so rich (because I pay for everything they want and need even when they have jobs).

Anyone else like me? Or do I have a huge issue?

Gosh, I'm sooooo poor. Only advice I can give myself is to stay home and not go anywhereeee! I've stopped my online shopping. I don't shop as much as I do, so I'm safe at home. T___T Just whining.

 

[darvil]

if you are so generous.. I don't think you should complain about being poor.

 

[Muddie Murda]

SHUT UP! YOU'RE PART OF THE REASON I'M POOR.

 

[XCappy]

Dear Muddie,

Yes, my mom is sometimes like that, esp. abroad (sometimes here also). You know, when you are out with relatives, I think when they pay for us : there is something weird esp. in a country that isn't that developed compared to the US or Europe. Our money is usually superior to them, and they need it more than we need.

You won't have issue if you know how to keep a good balance with your money. Of course, if you start to take 100% the bill, and that your account is near the red line, this is really not the right time to do it.

I know, I don't help you that much, but I want to share with you some experiences about paying more or less.

Situation 1 :

We were 6 in a Japanese restaurant, we took the buffet set, we ate like pigs (as usual), and finally we ended up in a contest : 3 teams, 2 mates each, the loser pay half more the initial price of the winner team. Of course, my friend and I lost the game. Initial + 50 %, it hurt a little

Situation 2 :

Heads up, you pay your part, I pay my part. Tip non included.

Situation 2-1 : You're cool, you give the tip
Situation 2-2 : Your friend is cooler than you, she/he gives the tip

Being generous is good, but don't be too much, the wallet could say : "Don't strip all my coins off, I'm naked and I'm cold !".

Have fun

 

[Azlisakhmer]

Omg we are the same I feel obligated to pay its like iono its jus u have to pay if you don't I'm horrible. What i do is stay home wen i have no money

 

[BaBeeLaiLai]

Meeh and mah friends always pay separate...i do treat sometimes..but thats only at times when i have alot of money.

You shouldn't feel obligated to always pay...becareful...you get used that way. yalls should take turns paying at times...!

 

[Nicky]

I feel obligated to pay sometimes ... it ends up either we taking turns treating, we split the bills, or just pay on what we ordered.

Being generous is a good trait but sometimes in the end result it will be unpleasant situations. Like being poor, your bank account drain out lolz

That's why in order for me to save money I preferred to stay home and go out once in a while. I should ban myself from the Internet so I can stop Internet shopping so much lolz

 

[Liberty]

You might wanna seek help. lol kidding.

No, I'm sort of the same way except I don't feel the need to pay for everything.
When we go out as a group we split the bill or give the cash to one person and that person pays with credit if they don't carry cash (which is me, I hate carrying cash).
When it's just a few of us, usually one person pays the bill and the other people take the bill next time we go out.
With my boyfriend and I, sometimes he pays, sometimes I pay and sometimes we split the bill. ^_^

 

[Rakniran]

yeah,im like that too.
When i go out with my sister. I always paid for everything and everytime.
When we take my nieces/nephew out too.
I just want to pay for everything and make them happy.
Whatever they want i get it for them even though my bank account is not at a good balance.
lol
U never know what will happen tomorrow
Just want to make them happy.

Like i say.When we go out.I always pay for everything/everytime.
I guess is normal to feel or do it.

 

[donna]

it depends. if i day i got it i got it. but when i don't, we have an agreement to go half on the bill. it all depends on the circumstance. but other than that, it a you pay your part, i pay mine. then we half the tip

 

[untinnu]

I spend a lot. On others more than myself. Shopping, I pay for them. EAting, I pay for them. MOvies, I pay for them...but...

IT'S A MIRACLE!!!

I actually never run out of money or..go/went poor...haha..it's a wonder..My sisters, friends, cousins..etc. all wonder about that..I myself wonder about it sometimes too..I wouldn't say that I have a lot..but..I just never run out..?... <--- and that's the reason why I feel hmm..should I use obligated..? yes, that's the reason why I feel obligated to pay..I don't mind..

 

[dfemc]

Whenever I'm with someone and we go out to either eat or shop, I usually always pay for everything because I force others to not pay. Like, I race to give them my debit card, or if someone else takes care of the bill, I stuff the money into their bag or something. (Except when I was in Cali and KT and Sarah paid hella things for me, damn you.) I feel BAD if anyone pays for anything (even when it's their own food).

My friend asks, "Why do you feel obligated to pay for everything?" Blehhhh, I don't know, I just feel like I HAVE to. Which is the reason why I'm so poor, and my siblings are so rich (because I pay for everything they want and need even when they have jobs).

Anyone else like me? Or do I have a huge issue?

Gosh, I'm sooooo poor. Only advice I can give myself is to stay home and not go anywhereeee! I've stopped my online shopping. I don't shop as much as I do, so I'm safe at home. T___T Just whining.

ur sooo asian... ^_^i luv u muddie

yeah don't let generosity turn into resentment. everything in moderation is best. easily said than done huh. lah lah lah.

 

[u00htg2]

I do pay for my family when we go out eating and stuff, especially my sisters and my nieces and nehpews. That's only because I'm in a better position than they are financially. And I feel sorry for them because they struggle everyday to make ends meet. If I have guests from out-of-town, I usually end up paying for them, I guess because I'm the "host" and I'm suppose to. LOL, that sounds so Asian.

When I go out with friends, we just split the bill or pay separately, because we're in the same place financially and career-wise. I will treat friends on special occassion like birthdays, etc. but I will not throw money away on anyone but family.

My adivce is, don't spend money you don't have or go into debt for other people. You'll end up stressing yourself and feeling like everyone's taking advantage of you.

Or if you're doing it to save "face", i.e. showing that you're so very generous and so rich that you can afford it, then if it makes you happy and bring you joy in life, go for it. Just don't go bankrupt doing it.

 

[darvil]

Since we're all serious about this post..

I usually split the bill among friends. Sometimes when I'm nice I might pay up but I expect them to do it eventually in the future.

When I was in Thailand my friends would usually pay for me because they were in a much better financial position. I don't have a problem with that although alot of people might.
But around here we're all about the same so I guess it really depends on the situation.

 

[gs]

same here its just doesn't feel right when someone else pay for me

 

[owwee_its_leelee]

for me wen i ask them to go out then i pay and vice versa... or sometimes i just pay cause i want to... but dang muddie ballin much... u can pay for me anytime...lol.

 

[KhoOnxNouxWanxJai]

yeah i have that problem too :[ and it's bad for someone who likes to eat at places like cheesecake factory, lawry's, kyoto's, sushi sapporo and so forth hahaha i member last time 2 friends and i went out the bill came out to over 300 I was like fork; but i paid it anyway then i came home a month later my bank statement came my parents were like wth LOL; this was way before i got married so now everything i do have to be talked to with the hubby first

 

[genkers]

lol muddie when i read hat you stuff the money into ppls bag if they pay instead of you i couldn't help wondering if they ever got mad when u did that i mean soem ppl would see that as being disrespectful, well not disrespectful but looking down on them. well do they ever get mad?

 

[Muddie Murda]

Haha, no, they get happy because they don't know it's me. They'll find it randomly one day and go "WTF $20!? YES!" Hahaha jk. Yeah, it probably does seem disrespectful. But if I let anyone pay ANYTHING for me, I feel like I'd be in debt forever...forever. I seriously need to take some selfish lessons. Each time I leave the house, I spend $50+. T__T It adds up. Wahhhhh.....................I don't remember buying myself something that I want...instead I've been buying everything for everyone. I can't even handmake myself a new jewelry charm because I keep giving them away. T_T -sigh- That's why I don't advertise to friends or family, because they get everything free or a huge discount. It hurts us both because they'd feel bad, and pocket money gone. Not that I mind, I feel fine about it, just my wallet crying. Haha Gosh, when I went to Cali, I was being tight on money, but then I still was donating to everyone I saw that needed it. T__T My friends and I were driving past this guy on the streets w/ a sign, and I had nothing but a $20. I was gonna give it to him but my friends pulled me back and was like "WTF?!" I seriously can't stop.

 

[cecilia]

Haha, no, they get happy because they don't know it's me. They'll find it randomly one day and go "WTF $20!? YES!" Hahaha jk. Yeah, it probably does seem disrespectful. But if I let anyone pay ANYTHING for me, I feel like I'd be in debt forever...forever. I seriously need to take some selfish lessons. Each time I leave the house, I spend $50+. T__T It adds up. Wahhhhh.....................I don't remember buying myself something that I want...instead I've been buying everything for everyone. I can't even handmake myself a new jewelry charm because I keep giving them away. T_T -sigh- That's why I don't advertise to friends or family, because they get everything free or a huge discount. It hurts us both because they'd feel bad, and pocket money gone. Not that I mind, I feel fine about it, just my wallet crying. Haha Gosh, when I went to Cali, I was being tight on money, but then I still was donating to everyone I saw that needed it. T__T My friends and I were driving past this guy on the streets w/ a sign, and I had nothing but a $20. I was gonna give it to him but my friends pulled me back and was like "WTF?!" I seriously can't stop.

same here. other ppl always come first, i'm those ppl who have a hard time saying no to other or it's either agree, or i'll think about it. and then later, say yes. i seriously need greed lesson as well