What do you think of Taboo people?

[nerine]

I don't know why, but some people's been liking someone with the same last name as theirs. As Hmong tradition, we cannot do that and we all know that. But... you know... I've been told that sometimes, you can't help it at all. Well... I know that you cannot stop loving someone. That is something we cannot control. I feel sad somehow... For those taboo people that cannot be together. Some doesn't care, but then it will tarnish and ruin their family names.
So my suggestion is just stay close to him/her, and love him/her secretly only. Don't ever do anything beyond the line because it's not good...
What I think about taboo people is that they've been going under a hard times to let the person they love go. I've been wondering for a while... who created these rules and why do we have to follow it while other races aren't like ours? State your opinions please!

Don't worry, I'm not taboo... never!

 

[bee4615]

Each to its own......however it is viewed as a disgrace to own parents/family as we were always taught that each same last name are from or came from the same root.

 

[YM_gurl]

Like you two above have said, we were taught not to date/married our own last name. It's always been our tradition not to, so if you are Hmong.
You know damn right you are not suppose to. So to those who do taboo. I want to know why they do it when they already know it is wrong. lol

It is something we all can help not to fall for, if you come across a guy or a girl you think he or she is cute and wants to get to know her or him.
Don't you usually ask for the last name first and then go from there? lol

In my opinion, people who taboo. They purposely do it. They are not stupid but they don't care.

Why can't we do it? Other race does it. WE are "H M O N G" LOL that's why.
who created/came up with this? i don't think anybody knows. lol

 

[ddawbb]

If you look at Hmong history, marrying someone of the same last name has always been taboo and prohibited.
Even before we came to the US to know of science and biology, Hmong knew that if we were to marry someone of our own clan last name the future will not be good.
Why not?
Hmong saw that other ethnic peoples living around them such as the Lao who were living among them that practiced marrying such "close" peoples they would produce children with diseases, bad genes, etc. Even in science today in the US they say the same thing... (Hey that just shows you that the Hmong are smart

Not only that, for purposes such as birth and death... If to people were of the same last name married, which people would be the aunt, uncle, maternal grandma, paternal grandpa... because the child is going to have the same last name as everyone else... at death, who would come and be the "muam phauj" or the "dab laug" who makes sure the funeral goes smoothly, or to get their family member the cow for the afterlife??

Of course, when it comes to love, you have to measure the importance to yourself...

In my opinion, I think that having a love relationship with someone of the same last name is not right, that's why it's in the taboo category.

 

[lakorndemon]

i think being taboo is natural...there's nothing wrong with that...
i mean...that's what humans are...they're emotional...
they're built to hate,
to envy,
to obey,
to be happy,
to be sad,
to care,
to regret,
to Sympathize,
and of course, our favorite and most dreadful word,
to love...
there's nothing wrong with being taboo (though i am not taboo myself)...
i think loving someone that is beside you is right, even though they're same blood as you,
i mean...that is our human senses and characteristics...and also our intentions...
and of course many people cannot marry each other with same last names because they might disturb the bloodline
and also they will have old dna only if they were to marry people with the same last name (don't ask me how but it's science)...
and that might cause a problem...

well...that's all my opinion on taboo people...don't take me too seriously ok...i'm just stating my theory and opinions...
have a great day everyone!!!

 

[narmfon]

If marrying the someone with the same last name is taboo then, wouldn't dating anyone else that is HMONG kinda sort of the same thing. I'm not trying to stir some drama, but there isn't many Hmong last names. Let say that a girl come from a LOR family, she marries a guy from a chang family. Her mom is a Thao, her dad is a Lor. Her grandma is a xiong, which her grandfather is Yang.. Wouldn't that had already prohibited you from dating someone in your grandfather or great-grandfather side of the family. Some how all the Hmong ppl are related either by blood or marriage already.. So, how can someone define taboo in a Hmong society just by strictly saying you can't marry someone who's in your tribe and or have the same last name.

For me, same last name or not. If that person is related to me by marriage, they're automatically family and there's no way I would want to date him or any of their family members either.

Well, just my two cent.
Please explain more. I spoke to one of my friend over dinner last year about his topic since his family is really traditional and strict and he seemed to some what agree with me on this.
Sorry if I offended anyone, didn't really mean to.

 

[lakorndemon]

If marrying the someone with the same last name is taboo then, wouldn't dating anyone else that is HMONG kinda sort of the same thing. I'm not trying to stir some drama, but there isn't many Hmong last names. Let say that a girl come from a LOR family, she marries a guy from a chang family. Her mom is a Thao, her dad is a Lor. Her grandma is a xiong, which her grandfather is Yang.. Wouldn't that had already prohibited you from dating someone in your grandfather or great-grandfather side of the family. Some how all the Hmong ppl are related either by blood or marriage already.. So, how can someone define taboo in a Hmong society just by strictly saying you can't marry someone who's in your tribe and or have the same last name.

For me, same last name or not. If that person is related to me by marriage, they're automatically family and there's no way I would want to date him or any of their family members either.

Well, just my two cent.
Please explain more. I spoke to one of my friend over dinner last year about his topic since his family is really traditional and strict and he seemed to some what agree with me on this.
Sorry if I offended anyone, didn't really mean to.

lol...girl you got a point but wouldn't that decrease hmong population when they go by your theory???
i'm not saying it's wrong but i'm also not offended either if you're thinking that...
i just think it's resonable... ^_^

 

[ddawbb]

well that theory has a point too...
but ultimately it all comes down to the family structure in birth rites and death rites.

 

[stephanie]

aha! i;m dating my second cousin's brother in law.. even if her wasnt my 2nd cousin brother in law, his unlce is related to my grandma... lol... there's not much variety in our hmong community... i mean c'mon theres only like 20 something hmong last names right?

 

[candi]

i wouldnt care..whatever floats their boat.

 

[pyang]

...i mean c'mon theres only like 20 something hmong last names right?

nope. only 18. hehe.

I say get marry and change your last name to Infinity. lol. j/k. (my 12th grade english teacher and her husband did change their lastname to Infinity when they got marry though and they got tattoos on their wrist instead of rings) and like stephanie said, there's just so many last names. I personally think all the hmong people are related somehow, if not through bloodline then it's through relatives.

 

[hmongSTER]

its funny how you cant date someone with the same last name.. but you can date your uncle's son as long as its a different last name. and its funny how every older man or woman you meet.. your parents would be like "oh thats your uncle. he's your dad's brother's wife's sister's aunt's son.. so you call him uncle. wtf? i make it simple by only dating other races BESIDES hmong.. lol..

 

[nerine]

Wow... well... i'll jus say... we're all human n it doesnt matter if ur taboo or not cuz we are all human... its not as if i've never seen taboo pplz married. i did and they did produce fine babies... perfectly fine from some other non taboo pplz too... so... it doesnt matter but its hmong tradition. if u want to be taboo n wont regret it then its fine i mean like look... if u rele like him/her u wouldnt care wat the tradition rules are n u wouldnt care if pplz talks bout u all over the world, rite? Im not taboo tho for ur info... being taboo is probably better than being an divorce man/woman with kids... n ur names goes all over the world bout ur hus/wife's life. pplz will only talk bout ur tabooness only for a while n then time will pass by n they will forget bout it... time can solve it but at first it will be hard tho... i no...

 

[vilasaeng]

okay - I have a question - I hope it does not offen anyone, if it does i am sorry but i am curious...

Two Hmong's family, last name AAA and BBB...

One of AAA's son marry BBB's daughter..BBB that marry AAA lost communication with her relatives....Years later BBB little brother's son meet BBB/AAA daughter..They fall in love and since their last name is not the same are dating and came to relize that they are related

My question are - What is going to happen? Are they allow to do be together even if they are somewhat related?

 

[lakorndemon]

lol...funny, i'll like to know what will happen
and about the hmong last name
can someone list them???

 

[milacute04]

you know, i think the idea of two individuals with the same last name marrying or dating, is better than first cousins getting married...

 

[SonYukView4ever]

to be honest, i was really shocked when i heard from a friend of mine that her friend was married to a guy with the same last name. I couldn't understand how they did it. it is hard to accept but the people that do those things must be those who claimed, "I rule my life!" --
True, but being a Hmong, everyone knows exactly that being married to the person with the same last name is a taboo.--don't know what is running through their mind?

 

[pbv]

I think what people don't understand is that tabooing is not restricted because people are scared you'll marry into your blood, obviously with only 18 clans that can't be avoided. The reason it shouldn't be done is because of tradition and superstition and if you don't care about superstition thats one thing but if you care at all about your culture, you should consider respecting it because we're not a rich culture full of history and background, all we have are our traditions and values.

I won't judge anyone who has tabooed because you've made that choice consciously. But I do think its a little selfish because what about your kids and their futures. Unless you plan to isolate them from hmong people all together, they will become outcasts and you would have robbed them of a family. I can guarentee that if you taboo your parents and your spouses parents will not support you the way they would have if you had not tabooed. They will still love you and your children but they will not show your kids to other people because they don't want to explain what has happened. Although it may be wrong, you're pretty much condemning yourself and your children into the shadows.

There are exceptions to every rule and no one can judge you but yourself but I hope people consider the consequences before they decide I'll taboo for fun its not like it can lead to anything because thats how all things start. I know because I have close friends who have done this and although they are doing well, I can see that they're sad they can't introduce their child to the whole extended family. No one means to hide them but no one is reaching out either.

 

[mercee]

UMM.. NOTHING.. HAHA

 

[tik_aom_luver]

This is "to ME" probably one of our STUPIDEST traditions! i mean, if it's cause we "same last name" all came from one root, then ummm, shouldn't we not be allowed to marry anyone cause didn't we all "supposedly" originated from ONE???? IDK, i feel like if you love that person, why must you suffer because of your "last name" Is it really a SIN? JEEZE, it's the 21st century, give it a break. LOL Oh and i think it's pretty lame how I can marry my Dad's sister's son but not my dad's brother's son???? (not that I would ever with neither side!!!!) lol I'm just saying. I don't think you can ever really judge people who's tabooed because you've never been in their shoes so to me, I really don't care if there are people who taboos. Love is love.

- just my opinions so don't go crazy if you don't agree with me. LOL