what would you do???

pandabear

sarNie Egg
:( :( okay you guys, I just meet this guy like for a couple of hours and he really likes me and wants to marry me. I have never meet anyone who would express his feelings the way he did. I know that my heart right now can't really accept him . He is ten years older than me and has never been married before. He seems like he will be a great husband who will love me all the way. He has everything already but not a family of his own. As for me, I really want someone that I have feelings for and I don't care if he is a broke dude because if I love someone, I will always love them. I know that he has everything and all but I feel like I'm just not really feeling it. One of my aunt who can tell palms said that if I was to marry him, I am lucky and our hands look the same and that she has never seem hands like that before too and that if we get marry, our life will be good. Do you guys think that we are meant to be??? My aunt also said that at first, I will not really love him and want to marry him but after a year or two, I will really love him and that people will be jealous of our life. Can you guys believe it, the first time meeting him, he wanted to marry me already and i guess loves me already. He also texted me and ask me to marry him. He is soo sweet and nice and all but my heart is crying out loud saying why, why, why. I have such bad luck!!!!!!!!! To me, I don't even judge but hmong guys are always picking that they would judge hmong girls and then make a decision. Like I was starting to like this guy who i TALKED TO ON THE phone for like two months and meet him and he was not even great looking but I started to like him because of the faces he made and the way he talked. I know that he is not from the best family and all but I still accepted him but guess what!!!! That asshole judged me and cancel the plan and then made excuses that he was busy and bought me something when he ditched me and my friends who he is also friends with to be with his homeboys. He said that he feels bad and sorry that he didn't spend aot of times with me. I want to believe that he is a good guy and believe his words because before I meet him, he wants someone who is honest and he can trust. His words sound so true but his actions are totally the opposite. I know that we are only friends but damn!!! he is fucked up, mess-up, and an asshole. This is not how a friend treat his/her friends. My friends are mad at him too and they told me some stuff about him and his family to me to stop me from talking o him and be his friend but I was like then why did you guys introduce me to him in the first place and all they can say is that they didn't know that he would turn out to be an asshole like that too. I know that my friends feel bad for me and damn I also feel b ad for my self for started falling for him. I told my friends to give the thing he bought me back to him and I am not going to talk to him again because he hurted me and my friends. It would just be a waste of time talking to him as a friend because I sure don't want a friend like him. What do you guys think about this friend????
Back to the who who really wants to marry me, what would you guys do???? You know that he will always love you and treat you right eventhough he is ten years older. Don't forget about the palm hand reading too :( :( :(
 

xxmiss_maixx

sarNie Adult
what i would do is that since your aunt told you that at first you will not like him but you will after a year or two. i think that its safer to start a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship first. and if he really does love you, he will be willing to wait for you. because you only met him for like a couple of hours, the feelings would not be there yet but if you talk to him more and hang out with him more, who knows you might like him or not like him. because your aunt can read palms, do not fully believe that. and like i said, if he really does you he will wait for you. btw did he love you at first sight?
 

lakorn

sarNie Hatchling
Wow!
you were lucky to have an aunt who could read palm... I very want to know my future, but afraid to find out... hehehehehe...

As for your part I think its best if you stay friend with him to see more of his attitude or else make your own decide which you believe is the best for you...

AND what xxmiss_maixx said is also true...
 

pandabear

sarNie Egg
hey you guys I forgot to add in that I live very far away from him too. We both live in very different and far states. He is a very nice calm looking guy who looks like he will really spoil me in the future. He is actually looking for a kind of like home wife and take care of his kids but will not mind if she decides to work.
The bad thing is that if I was to get marry to him, he will buy me a plane ticket and fly to him instead of coming to ask my parents. I guess he thinks that it's too far and will spend alot of money that way. He said he doesn't mind but I guess he wants the ticket plan. :( :unsure: :huh:
 

stephanie

sarNie Adult
o my!!! do u kno how he looks like? well... since ur aunt could read plams i say go for it... but first start out slow!!! then you guys could speed up the paste from there on. best of luck hun...
 

pandabear

sarNie Egg
I am 20 yrs old. Hey do you guys think that palm reading is true too??? :( Trust me you guys, you guys will not want to be in my shoes right now. I feel soo dead, miserable, lose my appettie, just can't believe this is happening!!!!!! :( :unsure: :(
 

paxiong04

sarNie Egg
UMM I AM IN THAT SITUATION TOO... BUYT MY GUY DONT WANNA MARRY ME YET... HE SAYS ITS TOO SOON... I THINK YOU SHOULD DATE THE GUY FOR A WHILE AND SEE WHATS UP WITH THE RELATIONSHIP... ME AND MY GUY STARTED OUT LIKE THAT TOO.. SORTA... HE'S 10 YEARS OLDER THEN ME AND I DIDNT LIKE HIM AT ALL BUT AS TIME GOES ON WITH ME BEING AROUND HIM AND HIM TREATING ME LIKE A QUEEN... I WAS A TOTAL BYTCH TO HIM AT FIRST BUT THEN I RELIZED THAT I CAN NOT FIND ANYONE LIKE HIM IF I LET HIM GO... I THINK THE OLDER GUYS KNOW HOW TO TREAT THERE WOMEN BETTER THEN THE YOUNGER GUYS... AND NOW WITH HIM I FEEL AS IF I HAVE NO WORRIES IN THE WORLD... SO GURL I THINK YOU SHOULD GIVE HIM A TRY... YOU NEVER KNOW HE MIGHT BE THE ONE FOR YOU... WHAT EVER YOU CHOOSE TO DO ITS ALL UP TO YOU BECAUSE NO ONE CAN MAKE THE CHOICE FOR YOU...
 

cecilia

Staff member
i say...DITCH THE GUY!!!...he's hmong...enough said... =P
you're too funny..crack me up so bad..
anyway..it's scarry when something like this happen..feel bad for you..but like everyone said..go only when your heart tell you too..sometime ppl get over ppl fast and sometime ppl love ppl too fast..they make irrational decision..LOL..so up to you..
 

neena

sarNie Adult
HONESTLY, I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD GET TO KNOW HIM A LITTLE MORE. PUT EDUCATION OR FAMILY BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED THAT WAY YOU WOULDN'T HAVE MUCH WORRIES. ITS GOOD TO GET MARRIED TO A PERSON YOU UNDERSTAND AND TRUST. IF YOU CAN TRUST HIM AND HE CAN TRUST YOU THEN THATS ALL GOOD. BUT HAVEN'T YOU THOUGHT ABOUT...HE'S TEN YEARS OLDER THEN ME AND HE'S NOT MARRIED YET? I THINK YOU SHOULD GET TO KNOW HIM MORE. :)
 

Julie_Yang

sarNie Hatchling
wow..i'm speechless on that..but what i would have to say..is that you guys really really need to set some time aside to get to each other more before taking a step that can either help or tear ur relationship apart.
 

iamnowhere

sarNie Adult
That's what I hate about marriages today.... freaking everyone proposes within the first meeting and thinking it's true love. IT'S NOT!!!!!! It's like high school (you don't know how many high school sweethearts thinking that they were going to get marry and never did i knew throughout my four years there). And what's the rush anyways??? You're only 20 there's so much more to do, see, and explore. Sorry not trying to bash anyone or their concept of love and marriage, but I just don't believe that love and marriages does not exist today like it did 40 years ago.
 

triANGgo

lekie_lucious
ehhhh what can i say about this.... do u know him well enough to start a life with him? ask yourself....cause u sound really unsure about this. Do u really believe in all that palm reading crap? are u planning to follow your heart or your so call sticking with the marry'n him? i'mma tell you now, my mom's a fortune teller/palm reader too, i've gotten mines read already but the thing is i dont believe in it too much. from that palm reading, it says that he might be the one you'll marry but damn have u thought that he has flaws too...... i mean i'm not going to lie, i want to find a guy as amazing as him (if he's really like that), but ask your self again, do u want this? do u want to marry a complete stranger that u hardly know? i mean this might be a good thing but this is a serious decision u have to make? this is the real world.....be realistic about it, this aint no fairy tale...i might sound mean about this but surely i dont want u to just marry this person just cause it's from the palm reading...figure this out yourself k...... make the right choice...... he may look or sound perfect now but what about a few years later, he might not be what u think he was before... then your going to be asking yourself, damn how did i marry this person and not know he's like this? lmfao... yeah so beware, get to know him well before u make that big step...... and remember if he really does love u like that, then he's willing to wait as long as possible...... GOOD LUCK DEAR!!! :D

*hahha come to think about it, i sound mean...if u understand where i'm comming from then that's good, if u get offended then i'm sorry......i just dont believe in happy endings unless that person's true.....
 

slee00

sarNie Adult
Getting marry is a BIG step and staying married is a LONG ROAD....Muaj ib tug laug hais li no " yog ua neej sib sib hlub ces ua neej zoo li npau suav xwb...twb tsi tau tsim los zaj npau suav twb tag lawm os...yog ua neej tsi sib hlub ces laj laj ua neej mus tag ib sim li os thiab yus ua neej ntev ntev heev tsi txawj tag li..." muab xav xav los yeej zoo li hais no...qhov zoo tiag mas cia yus yuav tus yus twb hlub hlub lawm sub thiaj li ua neej mus kawg ntsim os...
 

thailover

sarNie Egg
I think you should get to know the guy more because I sort of went through that kind of relationship too. At first they might pretend to treat you nicely but when you have fallen in love with them then they just let you go just like that. No matter how hard you cried or want them back, they don’t care about you and might tried to avoid you. At first I don’t even like the guy but his relatives keep telling me that he is nice and all those good stuff. But it’s your choice. I’m just telling you from my experience. Since that guy is old I think he is very picky that is why he haven’t married yet.
 

y-pajtshiab

sarNie Egg
While as a woman, everyone have to marry some day any way, right. Plus every lady are waiting 4 the mr. right to come along. Maybe this is the one. In this situation, you don't know if he is "the mr. Right". So ask him to wait 4 couple more months. So you 2 can get to know each other better first. If he loves you he will wait. If he dosen't
want to wait. then answer this question. 1. Are you ready to marry. 1. Do U love this guy. 3. Do U really want to risk all UR life 4 one man and only one man through the rest of your life 4 better or worst & healthy or sickness. If you answer yes to all 3, why not marry it. If you still have the AW!!!!!!!!! not sure????, don't know yet??? Say no!!!!!!!!!!!
 

sweet_yang

sarNie Adult
time will tell...

love takes time and patience. if he's not willing to give you time, then i don't think he's the one for you. on the other hand, if he loves you enough to give you time and respect for whatever decision you make, he should still love you even if your answer is no. c'mon...just because you say "no" today doesn't mean "no" forever. things change, and people change too...

once again..time will tell (but that's only if both of you give one another enough time). good luck to you and i hope you will make your decision wisely.
 

beamie

sarNie Hatchling
marriage is a big step, and once in it, it's hard to get out.....especially in hmong culture like this.....so, i second what everyone else says.....get to know each other.....if he really likes you, he'll understand your concerns and wait for you....guys like that don't come too often and are rare to find, but if you build a solid relationship first, it might not be too awkward when you do get married....

wow...your life is kinda like a movie huh???? hahahha.....well, take into consideration what your heart along with what your family says.....adults are wise and they know a lot more than us kids (sometimes....) but it's what inside the heart that counts too.....

good luck gurl....whatever happens, wish you all the best luck!
 
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