Yes. It's not easy. Vanny was very close to me . She laugh at all my jokes and understand my silliness. When she pass away , I stay in my room for 5 days , I watch tv drama all day & night b/c I wanted to tune out from reality but each time an episode end, i remember her & cry to sleep sometimes . I didn't even shower nor do I eat much . I waited for her to come haunt me or come into my dream b/c we had talk about death before . We promise each other that if one of us die , do try to come back to give lottery number in dream or come prove that there such thing as ghost BUT nothing happen . Death is the end . Those 5 days , I wanted to see her in any form, I wouldn't care how , sometimes, I would wake up in the middle of night and sit in total darkness, hoping to see or hear something, I wanted to be haunt by my beloved friend but nothing happen. On the 5th day , I start to get angry, I was mad that I couldn't even dream of her . I thought we had a close bonding ? *sigh* Death is really the ending , just when I thought, it time for me to leave my room and go on with my life. I received a text from her sister. Her sister said that I was listed in Vanny's life insurance policy, my beloved friend had me listed as her benefactor . I cry so much that day . I had always know she love and adore me but i didn't realize she loved me so much that even in death she thought of me . I have life insurance too but I had never thought of adding Vanny as the benefactor but she did .