Which clan?

[Mae]

Okay, so this has been bugging me. And this isn't a hate thread against any clan, but I was just curious if your parents or relatives tell you to stay away from a certain clan because of past tension, such as one of your relatives married that clan and it didn't work out? I know it's still happens and here and there parents will say stay away from Hmoob (fill in the clan) because of this and that..so do any of you experience this at all...it's difficult because you just want to tell them that whatever happened to your aunt or cousin cannot be applied to you, but they don't understand... For me, my relatives always tell me to stay away from Hmong guys that are Changs and Lors because of relationship tensions....also, to make it worse they always tell me to look for a mate that's Hmong white because whites and greens don't understand each other the same way...it's weird and I try not to be bias but I don't want to disappoint them either...what's your input....just curious and interested in your replies...

 

[jenjen]

yea my parents do that too..i say that its maybe that they are just not used to the world today..where everyone is different...i hate it too cause i try to explain that each person is different...but they just cant seem to understand..like i think its because their mindset is really different and i guess the way they see stuff these days is according to their experiences in the past..plus divorce is common these days among us so theres more "discrimination"..<---(not really..but i cant find a word that fits..ehehe...) or "seperation"???against other clans are piling up..and i ask them so "if i cant marry into this clan then can i marry outside the race?" and they say hella no...wierd...but yea they are just still very unfamiliar with realty i guess..i dont really too...

 

[mongstaness]

i dont think my parents have problems with other clans.....but i remember that my mom went thru hard times because she was hmong white n my dad was hmong green....my dads dad n mom didnt want my dad to marry my mom cuz she was white....but he did ne ways....but before my dad got married, his dad died n they got married after that...not alot of my dads relatives liked her becuz u kno..they think she dont kno how to do work n speak......my mom said that my grandma hated her as well as my uncles' wives.....

she didnt want to b in a marriage like that but she got me(first child)..so she decided to stay thru thick n thin....she was very smart n hardworking cuz she was the oldest daughter in her fam....she mastered the green language in a matter of time...and she knew how to cook more than ne one in the clan family.....so then my dads relatives started to like her a lil bit more.....but i kno that my grandma still had a part that didnt really like her....she is also kind hearted..so now a lot of relatives know her n talk to her much more...

i find that kinda sad for my mom....cuz its kinda like the movie drama kinda type...

 

[mai92]

these stories are sooo true......

 

[1-lUv3-y0u]

My parents omg...okay My mom tells me to stay away from the "Her" becuase she says that they are bad people and stuff and that if you marry them your life will be ruined becuase most of the Hmoob Hawj here are like that. She says that they are bad influence on me and stuff and blah blah. She also tells me to stay away from the "Tseej" basically just cus here the Vangs and the Cheng dont get along that well. She also dont want me around the Yangs beaucse she says taht the hmoob Yaj is...um..siab cooj lol like she tells me that the guys are at least and she doesn't want me with some lors cus my no longer "sister in law" was a lor and...let's jsut say my mom didn't really like her...and she tells me to stay away from the Hmoob green too cus my other sister in law is green and they dont get along too wel...so yeah basically what my mom is tellling me...is to stay away from EVERY CLAN. I mean for god sake...she dont even let me go sleep over at our blood cousin's house...shesh -__-

 

[YM_gurl]

yup! same here.. mah parent's bug me about that too..about green & white but i don't care. it's that their life.. hehe!

 

[bee1210]

my parents r KOOL with other clans.........but the only kind of people they don't like is black people.............they think that black people are dirty.........my parents r not racist but just don't like african american attitude especially teenagers..........my mom is green and my dad is white...........soooo that makes me and my 6 other siblings............mixed!!!...........or like my american friend call me LIME!!!!! LOL........i still don't get it why she calls me lime.?????

 

[mainhiathao]

my parents r scared...

 

[tavang]

My parents omg...okay My mom tells me to stay away from the "Her" becuase she says that they are bad people and stuff and that if you marry them your life will be ruined becuase most of the Hmoob Hawj here are like that. She says that they are bad influence on me and stuff and blah blah. She also tells me to stay away from the "Tseej" basically just cus here the Vangs and the Cheng dont get along that well. She also dont want me around the Yangs beaucse she says taht the hmoob Yaj is...um..siab cooj lol like she tells me that the guys are at least and she doesn't want me with some lors cus my no longer "sister in law" was a lor and...let's jsut say my mom didn't really like her...and she tells me to stay away from the Hmoob green too cus my other sister in law is green and they dont get along too wel...so yeah basically what my mom is tellling me...is to stay away from EVERY CLAN. I mean for god sake...she dont even let me go sleep over at our blood cousin's house...shesh -__-

i feel bad for u. ur mom is trippin'. there's nothing wrong with those clan. my family members are like marry to every one of the clan that u said and their life turn out perfectly fine. nothing wrong.

 

[tavang]

my parents r KOOL with other clans.........but the only kind of people they don't like is black people.............they think that black people are dirty.........my parents r not racist but just don't like african american attitude especially teenagers..........my mom is green and my dad is white...........soooo that makes me and my 6 other siblings............mixed!!!...........or like my american friend call me LIME!!!!! LOL........i still don't get it why she calls me lime.?????

because white and green make light green. how u gonna say ur parents are not racist when u just said it urself.

 

[mmm0403]

Based on family experience, I wouldn't marry to a Green Hmong guy or to any Vang guy, possibly also not to Yang, Thao, Chang, and Vue. One of my dad's sisters married to a Vang guy. Man, he is the rudest man on this planet. One time when my parents stayed for one night in their place. It wasn't even 5AM, he work up and stumped his feet and demanded for my parents and uncle and aunts to leave as soon as possible. He didn't want them to stay in his place anymore. Stupid man, he isn't rich or handsome or anything, just a rude man. We have not done anything wrong to him. Ever since then, I hate him and have no wish to marry any Vang guy. My dad other sister that married to the Hmong Green guy, man, he is as rude and evil as the Vang guy.

I know my parents wouldn't want us to marry Hmoob Ntsuab los Hmoob Lees because of past experiences.

 

[zhaolinger]

Based on family experience, I wouldn't marry to a Green Hmong guy or to any Vang guy, possibly also not to Yang, Thao, Chang, and Vue. One of my dad's sisters married to a Vang guy. Man, he is the rudest man on this planet. One time when my parents stayed for one night in their place. It wasn't even 5AM, he work up and stumped his feet and demanded for my parents and uncle and aunts to leave as soon as possible. He didn't want them to stay in his place anymore. Stupid man, he isn't rich or handsome or anything, just a rude man. We have not done anything wrong to him. Ever since then, I hate him and have no wish to marry any Vang guy. My dad other sister that married to the Hmong Green guy, man, he is as rude and evil as the Vang guy.

I know my parents wouldn't want us to marry Hmoob Ntsuab los Hmoob Lees because of past experiences.

You are just stereotyping against different clans because you had a bad experience with couple people. I feel bad for you to think in this such immature ways, but anyway maybe you just a kid.

 

[klee410]

Okay, so this has been bugging me. And this isn't a hate thread against any clan, but I was just curious if your parents or relatives tell you to stay away from a certain clan because of past tension, such as one of your relatives married that clan and it didn't work out? I know it's still happens and here and there parents will say stay away from Hmoob (fill in the clan) because of this and that..so do any of you experience this at all...it's difficult because you just want to tell them that whatever happened to your aunt or cousin cannot be applied to you, but they don't understand... For me, my relatives always tell me to stay away from Hmong guys that are Changs and Lors because of relationship tensions....also, to make it worse they always tell me to look for a mate that's Hmong white because whites and greens don't understand each other the same way...it's weird and I try not to be bias but I don't want to disappoint them either...what's your input....just curious and interested in your replies...

Well, my opinion is that the stories your parents tell you are true. My best friend married a Chang and they loved each other so much until his family came in and got involved well, now they are divorced because of his family and siblings only. The family and siblings wanted to kill her, even though she was the one who basically brought the money home because she owned a business, but she was stupid for doing that. Anyhow.. your parents are right.. right now we think we are right, but once we get married, everything changes from that point on and everything our parents tell us we will then realize they were right and then it will be too late because the relationship wasn;t going the way to expected at first.

 

[Lildreamer]

Well, my opinion is that the stories your parents tell you are true. My best friend married a Chang and they loved each other so much until his family came in and got involved well, now they are divorced because of his family and siblings only. The family and siblings wanted to kill her, even though she was the one who basically brought the money home because she owned a business, but she was stupid for doing that. Anyhow.. your parents are right.. right now we think we are right, but once we get married, everything changes from that point on and everything our parents tell us we will then realize they were right and then it will be too late because the relationship wasn;t going the way to expected at first.

parents and friends can have a HUGE influence...but that doesn't mean that everything they tell you are true...heck..alot of the times, people just discriminate against eachother because of preferences...

in your friend's case...i don't doubt that his family had an influence but at the end..he was the one that agreed to it too....

I believe that its up to the two people who are in the relationship on where it will go and what it will become....and even then sometimes..it still doesn't work out..and we all have our reasons as to why something didn't work...it happens ...

now to answer the question...my parents prefer my sisters and I to marry Green hmong because our ways are similar...and I prefer that too...but that doesn't mean I limit myself to only Green Hmong...I'm open to white hmong also ....because at the end of the day, I'm responsible for my happiness, my parents are not responsible for it

 

[tavang]

Based on family experience, I wouldn't marry to a Green Hmong guy or to any Vang guy, possibly also not to Yang, Thao, Chang, and Vue. One of my dad's sisters married to a Vang guy. Man, he is the rudest man on this planet. One time when my parents stayed for one night in their place. It wasn't even 5AM, he work up and stumped his feet and demanded for my parents and uncle and aunts to leave as soon as possible. He didn't want them to stay in his place anymore. Stupid man, he isn't rich or handsome or anything, just a rude man. We have not done anything wrong to him. Ever since then, I hate him and have no wish to marry any Vang guy. My dad other sister that married to the Hmong Green guy, man, he is as rude and evil as the Vang guy.

I know my parents wouldn't want us to marry Hmoob Ntsuab los Hmoob Lees because of past experiences.

oh my fuckin god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u guys are hating these clans just cuz you guys had a problem with that family/person?????????????????????????????? just so u know not allllllllll VANG guys are bad ok. you guys are just fucking hating. I'm a VANG and I have many brothers and relatives and none of them are bad. it's just one guy. not all are like that. your minds are so corrupted from what YOUR PARENTS are saying. don't put your parent's past life to make decisions for youself. STUUUUUUUUUUPID. by the way u dummy, HMOOB NTSUAB AND HMOOB LEES are the same type of ppl its just that some like to be called one or the other.

 

[tavang]

parents and friends can have a HUGE influence...but that doesn't mean that everything they tell you are true...heck..alot of the times, people just discriminate against eachother because of preferences...

in your friend's case...i don't doubt that his family had an influence but at the end..he was the one that agreed to it too....

I believe that its up to the two people who are in the relationship on where it will go and what it will become....and even then sometimes..it still doesn't work out..and we all have our reasons as to why something didn't work...it happens ...

now to answer the question...my parents prefer my sisters and I to marry Green hmong because our ways are similar...and I prefer that too...but that doesn't mean I limit myself to only Green Hmong...I'm open to white hmong also ....because at the end of the day, I'm responsible for my happiness, my parents are not responsible for it

that is so true. i totally agree with u. they're just stupid hmong folks that are jealous of other clans out there cuz they're better than u guys.

 

[stephanie]

wow! this topic is kind of getting too bias. haha... my parents doesnt have a problem any clans... well... not that i know of...

 

[mmm0403]

oh my fuckin god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u guys are hating these clans just cuz you guys had a problem with that family/person?????????????????????????????? just so u know not allllllllll VANG guys are bad ok. you guys are just fucking hating. I'm a VANG and I have many brothers and relatives and none of them are bad. it's just one guy. not all are like that. your minds are so corrupted from what YOUR PARENTS are saying. don't put your parent's past life to make decisions for youself. STUUUUUUUUUUPID. by the way u dummy, HMOOB NTSUAB AND HMOOB LEES are the same type of ppl its just that some like to be called one or the other.

who said i hate hmoob vaj or hmoob lees or hmoob ntsuab. that's not what i have been saying. i didn't say i hate hmoob vang clan or anything. some people just don't get along with each other. if i choose not to marry a hmoob vaj man, that's my decision or not to marry to a hmoob lees dude, that's also my decision. i don't think anyone on this discussion has said anything about hating about another clan. look, read carefully before you scream out. i didn't say i hate all hmong vang people. i only said that i hate that vang dude that married to my aunt, as an individual person, not referring to the whole clan. as a matter of fact, i had some nice hmoob vaj friends. i had a good friendship with that man's kids.
Hmoob lees, I have no problems with them. They are the same people as hmoob dawb. I just thought it's easier to communicate if marrying to a white hmong family. The question on this topic is not about hating or dissing another clan or anything. Some people just need to stop being childish and realize that this is just a discussion based on opinions.

 

[Mae]

Seriously like mmm0403 mentioned, this is just a discussion based on opinions. I orginally started the topic to see if I had any other sisters that experienced similar situations. In no way is this a hate threat against another clan, just like I stated when I started the discussion. We all know our parents have their own beliefs and what not, but I honestly believe all of us are educated and destined to make the best decision for our own happiness. So please, don't turn this topic into a hate thing!

 

[ceda_lee]

Like it or hate it...Hmong OG's are like that. We, the younger generations just have to prove them wrong.