Boyfriend's 21st Birthday

[ohitsnoyyy]

I don't see what's the big deal about a lap dance. If my "boyfriend" were to go the strip club & get lap dances from other girls, I wouldn't be mad. It's pointless to be jealous over a lap dance. I find that a waste of time to be mad over it. Plus, I'm usually the ones that gives lap dance to other guys & to his friends. Its' all out of fun. Life is too short to be complaining about a lap dance.

 

[Merit]

You know that it's his birtday and going to a strip club with his friends a lap dance is bound to happen whether you like it or not. With the way you describe James, I think the chances that there will be one is even higher.

My husband got a lap dance too and for some reason it never bother me. He'll tell me what happens and I asked him did he have fun? And I leave it at that. Being jealous isn't fun, it's such a wasteful emotion because it does eat you up inside. I tend to have this thought, if it's meant to be than it's meant to be...

Maybe after 10 years of marriage I learned to let go of a lot of stuff that I didn't before. Hopefully, you guys will make it through with whatever. Remember he just turned 21, he does have quite a bit to go. My husband didn't really grow up until he's about 33. LOL. I had 8 years to put up with a lot of male stuff...But if he loves you than he'll change. Just don't be too tight...like they say...the tighter you get, the faster the rope breaks.

 

[BaBeeLaiLai]

Don't tell me your boyfriend's birthday is was on the 13th?!

James is the ass guy?

Damn, the hickey thing sounds suspicious. I'd be just like you if I saw it too. =(
My boyfriend lies a lot (more of...He has really bad memory, LOL).

I talked to my boyfriend about this topic, but he said he wouldn't go if I disapproved. =x
It's good that nothing too bad happened. Hopefully the lap dance was nothing to him...?
Hope it all works out okay! My boyfriend and I got mad-ish at each other on his birthday
because of old drama. Anyway...Did you go clubbing like you said you would? What'd he say?

Yeah James is the ass guy. But yeah, your boyfriend is s sweety if he wouldn't go if you disapproved. Like I said i didn't mind him going....i was just uncomfortable about the lap dance, because of the things that happend to his cousin's when they turned 21. But yeah I guess it happend and he went. I've learned to let go now. And no his birthday was on the 11th.

So, am I supposed to be happy that I'm still single? J/K. =)
Guys will be guys; they're all bastards in their own ways, so
you can't really change them. But, in relationships, you will
argue here and there but at the end, you'll realize that what
you guys started off with were not that serious of a thing.

Yeah we argue alot and sometimes we still do argue about old stuff, which sucks. I guess it wasn't that big of a deal after all. Except the fact that he came back home with a hicky on his neck was kind of a big deal to me. What would you have thought or done if that was your boyfriend? Would you trust his words right away or question it?

I don't see what's the big deal about a lap dance. If my "boyfriend" were to go the strip club & get lap dances from other girls, I wouldn't be mad. It's pointless to be jealous over a lap dance. I find that a waste of time to be mad over it. Plus, I'm usually the ones that gives lap dance to other guys & to his friends. Its' all out of fun. Life is too short to be complaining about a lap dance.

I think the difference between us is that you don't mind because you go around giving other guys lap dances and I don't. Thats just not the type of girl I am. And yeah you are right about getting jealous though, I guess I am the real jealous type. It's just that our relationship has been so closed just me and him that when he turned 21 and wanted to experience I blew up.

 

[ohitsnoyyy]

I think the difference between us is that you don't mind because you go around giving other guys lap dances and I don't. Thats just not the type of girl I am. And yeah you are right about getting jealous though, I guess I am the real jealous type. It's just that our relationship has been so closed just me and him that when he turned 21 and wanted to experience I blew up.

I am so opposite of you lol. I can't stand a guy hover over me 24/7. I need my freedom. One thing for sure, you can't keep a guy away from his friends. It's be like shutting him away from his loved ones. I know a lot of girls who trip over things like this & i really think it's pointless. Since he's 21 now, he's gonna wanna go out to clubs (I'm assuming) & bars. You just gotta kick back & relax. Guys don't wanna be with their girls 24/7. At least all of my guy friends can't stand it haha.

And as for jealousy, I see it as an insecurity & if you're insecure, then that's when you start clinging onto the guy as much as possible because you fear he will leave or cheat on you. Just let him do him & you do you... but just know that at the end of the night, you're all he'll be thinking of.

 

[mia07]

Yeah we argue alot and sometimes we still do argue about old stuff, which sucks. I guess it wasn't that big of a deal after all. Except the fact that he came back home with a hicky on his neck was kind of a big deal to me. What would you have thought or done if that was your boyfriend? Would you trust his words right away or question it?

Well, part of the reason why you're with him now is because you trust him, right? So, if you trust him, then why question about it?
For me, a hicky shouldn't be the cause for all of this arguments. As a matter of fact, it would be just a waste of time actually.
But, people act and think differently in their own ways so I don't blame you for what you're doing because you know him more
than any of us so we can't really judge you, your boyfriend, or your relationship just based on this. =)

 

[judyp]

i disagree. if it really was a hickey, then i would def not let it go easily. who in the world wants their significant other to come home with a hickey from who knows who? sorry, i am not down like that.
but the whole thing about going to a strip club shouldn't be worth arguing about. i don't think going to a strip club is that big of a deal. the truth is that he's 21 at a strip club, he is bound to get a lap dance. and like i said before, as long as he doesn't do anything stupid, you shouldn't have to worry. good luck to you!

 

[BaBeeLaiLai]

I am so opposite of you lol. I can't stand a guy hover over me 24/7. I need my freedom. One thing for sure, you can't keep a guy away from his friends. It's be like shutting him away from his loved ones. I know a lot of girls who trip over things like this & i really think it's pointless. Since he's 21 now, he's gonna wanna go out to clubs (I'm assuming) & bars. You just gotta kick back & relax. Guys don't wanna be with their girls 24/7. At least all of my guy friends can't stand it haha.

And as for jealousy, I see it as an insecurity & if you're insecure, then that's when you start clinging onto the guy as much as possible because you fear he will leave or cheat on you. Just let him do him & you do you... but just know that at the end of the night, you're all he'll be thinking of.

yeah you right...well lately ever since that day I've kinda been going out on my own as well with my girlfriends and I got drunk a couple of times and also experienced my first bar fight. I didn't fight but some korean guys and the girls I was with got into a fight. I was just shoved around. I use to drink and was wild at one point of my life as well, kicking it with guys here and there, but i gave all that stuff up when i got with him 3 years ago. I haven't drank agian ever since until now. But yeah the other night we went to our first bar together and instead of him getting drunk I did. He took care of me and that was swt. Like you said i think i just need to be more relaxed about stuff. Thanks for the tip.

disagree. if it really was a hickey, then i would def not let it go easily. who in the world wants their significant other to come home with a hickey from who knows who? sorry, i am not down like that.
but the whole thing about going to a strip club shouldn't be worth arguing about. i don't think going to a strip club is that big of a deal. the truth is that he's 21 at a strip club, he is bound to get a lap dance. and like i said before, as long as he doesn't do anything stupid, you shouldn't have to worry. good luck to you!

As long as he doesn't make it a habit, I guess it's koo for now. We'll see what happens.

Thanks everyone for your support and input. This is why I love sarnworld.

Well, part of the reason why you're with him now is because you trust him, right? So, if you trust him, then why question about it?
For me, a hicky shouldn't be the cause for all of this arguments. As a matter of fact, it would be just a waste of time actually.
But, people act and think differently in their own ways so I don't blame you for what you're doing because you know him more
than any of us so we can't really judge you, your boyfriend, or your relationship just based on this. =)

Yeah I do trust him...he's never done me wrong. He's been really good, I guess I just got really scared because of the type of friends that he has.

 

[YM_gurl]

My boyfriend is turning 21 next week. He's a jerk and he wants a guys night out...their going to the strip club and bars. I'm really upset about the stirp club. I've cried to him and all that already but he says he's still going no matter what. He's horrible. Sometimes I feel like I want to break up with him. It's not like I don't want him to go...I just don't feel comfortable w/ him getting lap dances and naked women rubbing up on him. I told him that already too...but he says it's a given. So what do I do? someone give meeh some suggestions.

Am I just over-reacting. I want some girls and guys opinion on this.

Don't worry, it's a guy thing.
It's okay, let him go, as long as he doesn't go often then that's fine.
and as long as he has nice good friends. hehe