Dating Someone Older

Napat01

sarNie Juvenile
What do you girls think about dating someone older than you by 10 years? I have my limits to be 5 or 6 years older but 10? I don't know...I know some of my cousins married people older than them like that but the couple looks about the same age but what if it's like 15 and 24? Is it safe to go with such a relationship if the guy is related to your aunt and your brother and cousins know him?
 

Thookatha

sarNie Elites
age shouldn't be a discretion if two individuals are at a mature enough state to reason with life experiences. for example, if it was a 13 year old and a 23 year old, then chances are, the 13 year old doesn't know what the hell he/she is doing whereas the 23 year old probably knows a thing or two.

i am 26 years old. i actually prefer my men to be older than me...even by ten years. if it looks and feel right, why not? haha

also, my aunt and uncle are 20 years apart! she was 17 and he was 37 when they got married. wowzers. they've been together for over 30 years...two kids. actually, my cousin (their oldest daughter) has a two year old. her parents are grandparents. lol
 

cecilia

Staff member
haha. my parent have a 10 year age gap too .. they been together for almost 30 years lOl

anyway, for me, it doesn't matter.. what matter is the heart .. if the right time come -- and things feel right, go for it.
 

Iya

sarNie Adult
i think that is find, as long as there is love. my parent are 20 years apart and they are okay.

besides, age doesn't matter.
 

Napat01

sarNie Juvenile
age shouldn't be a discretion if two individuals are at a mature enough state to reason with life experiences. for example, if it was a 13 year old and a 23 year old, then chances are, the 13 year old doesn't know what the hell he/she is doing whereas the 23 year old probably knows a thing or two.

i am 26 years old. i actually prefer my men to be older than me...even by ten years. if it looks and feel right, why not? haha

also, my aunt and uncle are 20 years apart! she was 17 and he was 37 when they got married. wowzers. they've been together for over 30 years...two kids. actually, my cousin (their oldest daughter) has a two year old. her parents are grandparents. lol
LOL, me too I prefer to date somone older too but given that I'm only in high school I don't want to date yet. But the situation is that my sister is dating someone way older than her but he's related to my aunt who is married to my mom's brother. So I wouldn't really call him a close relative. I don't know I was just worried since this is her first relationship and he's older and plus they have developed a little to fast for my comfort zone. It maybe just me but they have a long distance relationship and I'm just not so sure about their relationship just yet.
 

Napat01

sarNie Juvenile
haha. my parent have a 10 year age gap too .. they been together for almost 30 years lOl

anyway, for me, it doesn't matter.. what matter is the heart .. if the right time come -- and things feel right, go for it.
I don't know about dating yet my parents are strict on that matter since I'm the oldest daughter and barely go out to meet guys or have met someone in my taste. I don't know but most guys I've seen these days are childish and have swearing problems. LOL it maybe just me but boys are so immature lately. My friends think I mature too fast that I can pass for a sophmore in college. LOL but I don't think I look that old.
 

Thookatha

sarNie Elites
ok, you say you're the oldest...and in high school. then you say your sister is dating someone older. so she's in high school too? how old is her "significant other", if you don't mind me asking?? and actually, how old is she? hahaha
 

Napat01

sarNie Juvenile
ok, you say you're the oldest...and in high school. then you say your sister is dating someone older. so she's in high school too? how old is her "significant other", if you don't mind me asking?? and actually, how old is she? hahaha
She's only fifteen and he's twenty-four turning twenty-five in June.
 

7270

7270
I'd be concerned about a 24 y.o. dating a 15 y.o. :blink: If the person is 21-22 (maybe someone younger could be mature enough as well depending on their life experiences), then I wouldn't be concerned about them dating someone a lot older.

The dude should know better than to mess with a kid though. This is America. Kids are pretty much sheltered here until they're 21. :lol: For some, 17-18. So not really grown up yet.
 

Thookatha

sarNie Elites
yeah, at 15, we girls think all guys (especially in their 20's) are our world. in my opinion, she doesn't have enough life experiences to really distinguish between love and infatuation. as for him, he obviously knows what he's doing. my cousin was in a situation like this...except worse. she was 12 and he was 26 when they started seeing each other. the relationship lasted about 9 years...and she was destroyed when he took a visit back home. ended up impregnating another woman during the trip...right before my cousin's 22nd birthday. she wasted her youth on this guy, and he had to take responsibility for the pregnant girl....

your sister's case seems to be even much more risky because the guy that she is "seeing" is far away. the guy that my cousin was with was the nephew of my uncle (who married into the family). they are not blood related.
 

aikoden

♥DREAMER♥
Staff member
i think age gap in a relationship is ok..

my sis & her hubby are only like a yr or 2 or 3 apart.. and she's the older one.. i was scared for her at first since it was her actual first relationship & of course none of my siblings has never been in a relationship except my older bro lol.. so we have no knowledge wat so ever but.. they're doing quite fine.. ehehe.. XD.. so im happy for them..

hmm but in ur case.. im not quite sure... but if they say it's true love then i guess it'll be fine..
 

sajenna

sarNie Oldmaid
my fiancé is 11 years oldder than me and it's good: older men know how to take care of you and thanks god, he's not obsessed with his ps3 or something like that!
 

Napat01

sarNie Juvenile
my fiancé is 11 years oldder than me and it's good: older men know how to take care of you and thanks god, he's not obsessed with his ps3 or something like that!
Congrats to you! Well, I don't know much about this relationship though they are moving to fast for me to accept the relationship. She's already throwing the words "I Love You" to him and to me I think she doesn't know what they really mean yet. Lol but you are right, guys usually two or three years older than me are still obessed with those electronics.
 

Napat01

sarNie Juvenile
yeah, at 15, we girls think all guys (especially in their 20's) are our world. in my opinion, she doesn't have enough life experiences to really distinguish between love and infatuation. as for him, he obviously knows what he's doing. my cousin was in a situation like this...except worse. she was 12 and he was 26 when they started seeing each other. the relationship lasted about 9 years...and she was destroyed when he took a visit back home. ended up impregnating another woman during the trip...right before my cousin's 22nd birthday. she wasted her youth on this guy, and he had to take responsibility for the pregnant girl....

your sister's case seems to be even much more risky because the guy that she is "seeing" is far away. the guy that my cousin was with was the nephew of my uncle (who married into the family). they are not blood related.
That's what I'm afraid of because to me I can't accept their relationship so easily because they hid it from all of us except for my cousin and her friends. I just found out like a week ago! I was so mad she made me do all the housework for nine months just for the man. I also think what you said is true that she doesn't really know what is the difference between love and infatuation.
 

Napat01

sarNie Juvenile
i think age gap in a relationship is ok..

my sis & her hubby are only like a yr or 2 or 3 apart.. and she's the older one.. i was scared for her at first since it was her actual first relationship & of course none of my siblings has never been in a relationship except my older bro lol.. so we have no knowledge wat so ever but.. they're doing quite fine.. ehehe.. XD.. so im happy for them..

hmm but in ur case.. im not quite sure... but if they say it's true love then i guess it'll be fine..
LOL, that's like my case. The only one who has dated is my older brother and she's dated before me too! I swear most of my siblings have done something before me in everything, LOL like in the women section---(if you know what I mean! :p ) At times I feel left out but I don't care for one either. I just don't know about these two.
 

Napat01

sarNie Juvenile
I'd be concerned about a 24 y.o. dating a 15 y.o. :blink: If the person is 21-22 (maybe someone younger could be mature enough as well depending on their life experiences), then I wouldn't be concerned about them dating someone a lot older.

The dude should know better than to mess with a kid though. This is America. Kids are pretty much sheltered here until they're 21. :lol: For some, 17-18. So not really grown up yet.
Girl you crack me up, the worst is I want them to break up but I don't know how to say it or put my thoughts into here because I'm only her sister, I don't know, am I butting into her business by telling her that I want her to break up with her boyfriend?
 

tg10

sarNie Egg
As long as both people are mature both mentally and physically and are of legal age then it has everything to do with them working out. It's less of a deal when it's people in their 20s+ dating people much older. It also depends what each person prefers.
 

Thookatha

sarNie Elites
Girl you crack me up, the worst is I want them to break up but I don't know how to say it or put my thoughts into here because I'm only her sister, I don't know, am I butting into her business by telling her that I want her to break up with her boyfriend?
7270 is actually a boy...i mean, a male. LOL

here's one thing you can do...

you could tell her that you respect her decisions, and that although it is strange to think that she is all "grown up" now, you worry for her (as the big sister). butter her up so that you could get information out of her. support leads to trust...you have to be there for your sister (even if it means she has to learn a harsh lesson). once she feels comfortable with your status on the matter, she is more than likely to open up to you. in this stage, you will be able to ask her all sorts of questions in which the answers may be more genuine than if you were to disapprove and interrogate her actions. despite how you feel, you don't want to completely close up to the possibility that they might end up together no matter what. what's really important is that she answers to her own circumstance. for example, instead of asserting your opinions, ask her (casually...like in a girl talk or something...here and there) to describe all the things she loves about him, and how she plans to make it work out in the future. even ask her to describe all the things he's done for her, and what things he has promised to do in the future. from these answers, you will be able to identify how mature this relationship really is. if she doesn't have concrete and/or specific details, then she is probably confused...unless by nature, she is already a creature of very little details to be said.

haha this is way too early for me. slept late. hope everything i said makes sense. :rolleyes:
 

sajenna

sarNie Oldmaid
Congrats to you! Well, I don't know much about this relationship though they are moving to fast for me to accept the relationship. She's already throwing the words "I Love You" to him and to me I think she doesn't know what they really mean yet. Lol but you are right, guys usually two or three years older than me are still obessed with those electronics.
she's already say "I love you to him" ? gosh, that fast! even if i have a fiancé i barely say it, it's more him saying "I love you" and me "Me too" but saying those 3 words are so meaningful. i'm like you, i don't think she really understand what "I love you" mean, at 15 i didn't know myself.
 
I personally just prefer older guys, but the largest age gap between myself and any of my past bfs was only 7 years...and that was back when I was 23. I don't think age should really matter, but those closer in age may "click" better, due to similar interests and all. It really depends on the individuals involved; love differs for every person, but if it's right for you, then that's all that matters.
 
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