Dirty jokes/Funny rhymes

C

cutefuzzy

maplestory addict xD
i'll start :p


Superman and Spiderman are standing at a Bar, Superman is looking a bit down.

- What's the matter? asks Spiderman.

- Well to tell you the truth, I haven't had "IT" for months and it's really getting to me comes the reply.

- Its funny you should say that, on the way here I was swinging past Wonder Womans apartment and she was lying on her bed in the altogether with her legs akimbo says Spiderman with a grin..

- What do you mean? asks Superman

- Well with your powers you could dive in, do the business and be out before she knows what hit her Spiderman replies

- Ok I'll do it.....

Off he goes to Wonder Womans apartment and sure enough shes still lying on her bed as if waiting for something!! He shoots through the window, straight in, does the job and flys straight back to the Bar.

- Bloody hell says Wonder Woman, What the hell was that?

- I don't know - but my arse is in pieces replied the Invisible Man...
 
Grudgeprincess

Grudgeprincess

JLR FEVER
LMFAO an oh an. hahaha dirty jokes eh? muhahahhaaha. this should be intreseing. watch like half the sisters show up and post LMFAO HAAHHHAHHAHHA :ph34r: i love you all =D
 
I

*Ice*

sarNie Adult
my friend send this to me

Have you heard the new drug they are giving depressed lesbians?

its called TRYDICAGAIN
 
H

hithxbye

sarNie Juvenile
icebkk said:
my friend send this to me

Have you heard the new drug they are giving depressed lesbians?

its called TRYDICAGAIN
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HAHAHA
i remember when you told me this joke....i didnt get it at first hahaha
but like a minute later, i finally got it!
 
C

cutefuzzy

maplestory addict xD
Grudgeprincess said:
LMFAO an oh an. hahaha dirty jokes eh? muhahahhaaha. this should be intreseing. watch like half the sisters show up and post LMFAO HAAHHHAHHAHHA :ph34r: i love you all =D
Click to expand...
lmao sala

hanjieun30 said:
keep 'em coming an! :loool:

I should search for dirty jokes too... :rolleyes:
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ahaha u shuld .. lol come on donna...u noe u can do it XD

icebkk said:
my friend send this to me

Have you heard the new drug they are giving depressed lesbians?

its called TRYDICAGAIN
Click to expand...
lmao..thats a good one..lol..i didnt catch it at first!
 
C

cutefuzzy

maplestory addict xD
ok here's another one lol

Q: How can you tell if your at a gay picnic?

A: All the Hotdogs smell like shit.
 
H

hanjieun30

sarNie OldFart
NUSERY TEACHER:who do you think will go to heaven, your mom or your dad?

KID:i think it's my mom. I heard her last night shouting. "OH GOD! OOH,GOD! I"M COMINGG! AHHH!"


 
none3

none3

sarNie Hatchling
hanjieun30 said:
NUSERY TEACHER:who do you think will go to heaven, your mom or your dad?

KID:i think it's my mom. I heard her last night shouting. "OH GOD! OOH,GOD! I"M COMINGG! AHHH!"
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that's funny!! Parents these day...don't they know that their children are listening
 
none3

none3

sarNie Hatchling
Another Joke: A dumb blond Joke..

You have a Mexican man, an Italian man and a White man who all work at a construction site and are having lunch together as usual on top of the building site, which is very high. Every single day all 3 men complain about their lunch and how much they hate what they have to eat for lunch. And so:

The Mexican man says, "Oh man...it's burritos again. I hate burritos! Why does my wife always makes burritos for me." He was so distressed that he decided that he wanted to die. And so, he jumps of the building and dies instantly. And so the funeral arrives and friends and families help console the wife to make her feel better and she said, "if I'd known that he hates burritos I would never have made them for him." and she continues to cries.

Days passes and this time it's the Italian man who complains about his lunch. "I hate spaghetti, why does my wife always make me spaghetti for lunch." And so he too jumped off the building and dies instantly. The funeral arrives and the Italian wife says "If I'd known he hates spaghetti, I would not have made them for him" and she cries.

And so, the last man was the White man. He also continues to complain about his lunch. "I hate baloney sandwiches !!!" He was also very distressed and jumps of the building and dies...


Funeral arrives and all the three wives who are now widows are grieving and talking to one another. The white man's wife says to her friends " But I don't get it, he makes his own sandwich everyday" and the other two wives looked stunned.



that's it...hope you enjoyed the joke
 
I

*Ice*

sarNie Adult
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end and put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What’s that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn’t get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely she is, after all, over 80 years of age, but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.

Lady 1: Doesn’t matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.

lol i didnt write this ( camel is a type of cigarette if no ones knows )
 
H

hithxbye

sarNie Juvenile
icebkk said:
Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end and put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What’s that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn’t get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely she is, after all, over 80 years of age, but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.

Lady 1: Doesn’t matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.

lol i didnt write this ( camel is a type of cigarette if no ones knows )
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HAHHAHA OMG
thats too funny!
 
Grudgeprincess

Grudgeprincess

JLR FEVER
ok heres one

a pretty lady goes to her doctor
the doctor (man) starts rubbing her thighs and asks her "do you know what i'm doing?" and the lady replies "yeap, ur checking for abnormalties."
so the doctor tells her to take off her shirt and starts rubbing her boobs and asks "do you know what i'm doing" and she goes "yea, checking for brest cancer"
so the doctor tells her to take off her panties and lays her on the table and starts f*cking her and asks "do you know what i'm doing?" and she replies "yeap, getting herpies, thats why i'm here today"

hahahha owned.
 
Grudgeprincess

Grudgeprincess

JLR FEVER
hahahha the lady went to the special doctor b/c she had a STD and he was like sexing her and getting it....hahahahhaa idk how else to explain it? lmfao
 
Grudgeprincess

Grudgeprincess

JLR FEVER
There are four kinds of sex :

HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"

COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.
 
ChenrukNote

ChenrukNote

Goddess
none3 said:
Another Joke: A dumb blond Joke..

You have a Mexican man, an Italian man and a White man who all work at a construction site and are having lunch together as usual on top of the building site, which is very high. Every single day all 3 men complain about their lunch and how much they hate what they have to eat for lunch. And so:

The Mexican man says, "Oh man...it's burritos again. I hate burritos! Why does my wife always makes burritos for me." He was so distressed that he decided that he wanted to die. And so, he jumps of the building and dies instantly. And so the funeral arrives and friends and families help console the wife to make her feel better and she said, "if I'd known that he hates burritos I would never have made them for him." and she continues to cries.

Days passes and this time it's the Italian man who complains about his lunch. "I hate spaghetti, why does my wife always make me spaghetti for lunch." And so he too jumped off the building and dies instantly. The funeral arrives and the Italian wife says "If I'd known he hates spaghetti, I would not have made them for him" and she cries.

And so, the last man was the White man. He also continues to complain about his lunch. "I hate baloney sandwiches !!!" He was also very distressed and jumps of the building and dies...


Funeral arrives and all the three wives who are now widows are grieving and talking to one another. The white man's wife says to her friends " But I don't get it, he makes his own sandwich everyday" and the other two wives looked stunned.



that's it...hope you enjoyed the joke
Click to expand...
I didn't get this one until my roommate explained it to me LOL.
 
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