Do you mind?

[fun]

Okay people I have a serious problem. Just kidding. Anyways, I dressed up my nephew as a girl and took a picture to send it to my brother. You must wonder why my nephew lives with my parent. The answer is that he will be joining us back here in California when he get everything settle in Iowa.

Back to the topic. He was mad. He told us not to dress his boy up as a girl. And I asked my soon to be sister-in-law if one of their boy turn gay would they mind. She said she had asked my brother the same question but he did not replied and he made her drop the subject. Back to her answer, she wouldn't mind if any of her child decided to change their sex orientation.

A bell rang in my ear. Is it just male that dislike the subject of their child sex orientation? Because my sister and I before also had dressed my little cousin up as a girl. And my uncle was upset. I didn't mean to offend him. It was a joke. Why is it so hard on men? What is the big deal. My aunt didn't mind us dressing him up.

That brings back, one of my best friend, he is gay. His mother accepts the truth but his father disowned him. Now that is totally messed up. He is a great guy and guess what most of us girls has fallen for his charm and yep, I was one of the girls. It was shocking to hear from him that he was gay. And when he told me his story, all I wanted to do was hug him to comfort. I felt bad that all that first year of high school we have been joking about gay and lesbien people. But he didn't take it offensive and now we look back and laugh. Good times. lol.

Sorry this went on for so long. I didn't mean to be so descriptive about this.

 

[fun]

Opps the topic should have been do you mind?

 

[Liberty]

I think it's a male ego thing.
They think that if their male offspring is gay that there must be something wrong with them (the father).
In other words, his junk must be defected or something.

I think it's not so bad if the couple has more than one son, takes the pressure off of the gay one.
Or it could have something to do with carrying on a name.
In most modern cultures, the man is the one that passes down the family name. So if you're son is gay, there's very little chance of passing on the family name, at least not one that is blood related (as in not adopted).

Which is funny because in old times, in certain cultures the family line was passed down through women. Still is today if the woman is a single mother and the father is not part of the child's life.

I think it's kind of the same as if the daughter were a lesbian. The dad wouldn't be bothered by it so much but the mother would think that there's something wrong with her or that maybe she wasn't a good enough mother. It's probably not as big of an issue as being a gay man though.

I personally don't mind and wouldn't be bothered if my kids were gay (if I have kids).
I know plenty of gay people. I from Austin, which is like the Texas version of San Fran., plus I have gay friends.

 

[noungning]

no i think it's just a problem with guys overall. they can't accept that there are such things as gay guys... um well i know my guy friends feels very uncomfortable to be around gay people because they feel they are being targeted lol... well, for one of them this is true hahaha

and as for fathers, it's the matter of... omg i've disliked them all my life and it's karma now that i have one and i can't accept it. so they disown them, more of loads of pride, and all of a sudden, down the drain.

 

[~Sandy~]

Men are more close minded then females. Females think differently, we (as females) tend to think with our hearts and not at what the society or other family memebers may think.

I have 2 girls, but i would prefer to see my girls marry a man, but if they decide not to choose a man, i can learn to accept. But i would be a hypocrit if i said i dont mind, i would mind, but i can live and accept who my girls choose to become. My fiance, their father, don't want them to even have boyfriends or marry, he wants them to be his lil princess forever, let alone the thought of them dating a women, would freak him out. Now, he also has a son, with his ex wife, and there is no way he would be able to accept, live with, or mind if his son would be gay. He needs his son to be the next person to take care of the family, and according to my fiance, you can not do that being gay at the same time.

 

[fun]

I think it's a male ego thing.
They think that if their male offspring is gay that there must be something wrong with them (the father).
In other words, his junk must be defected or something.

I think it's not so bad if the couple has more than one son, takes the pressure off of the gay one.
Or it could have something to do with carrying on a name.
In most modern cultures, the man is the one that passes down the family name. So if you're son is gay, there's very little chance of passing on the family name, at least not one that is blood related (as in not adopted).

Which is funny because in old times, in certain cultures the family line was passed down through women. Still is today if the woman is a single mother and the father is not part of the child's life.

I think it's kind of the same as if the daughter were a lesbian. The dad wouldn't be bothered by it so much but the mother would think that there's something wrong with her or that maybe she wasn't a good enough mother. It's probably not as big of an issue as being a gay man though.

I personally don't mind and wouldn't be bothered if my kids were gay (if I have kids).
I know plenty of gay people. I from Austin, which is like the Texas version of San Fran., plus I have gay friends.

Everything you have mentioned is true.

[In most modern cultures, the man is the one that passes down the family name. So if you're son is gay, there's very little chance of passing on the family name, at least not one that is blood related (as in not adopted). ]

They can always go to a clinic and take out their sperms. Well, I believe it would cost a fortune to do that too.

 

[Liberty]

Everything you have mentioned is true.

[In most modern cultures, the man is the one that passes down the family name. So if you're son is gay, there's very little chance of passing on the family name, at least not one that is blood related (as in not adopted). ]

They can always go to a clinic and take out their sperms. Well, I believe it would cost a fortune to do that too.

Yeah but they'd still need a woman to carry the baby and that can be a hassle.
It's hard finding a woman to be the carrier of a baby without them wanting to be part of the baby's life, pretty much a borrowed womb.
And yup, it's pretty expensive.

 

[ohitsnoyyy]

LiKE LiBERTY SAYS, iT'S A MALE EGO THiNG. GUYS ARE SUPPOSE TO BE "MACHO", EVEN WHEN THEY'RE LiTTLE SO WHEN YOU DRESS A LiL BOY AS A GiRL, iT'S LiKE CRUSHiNG THE MAN "EGO". iT'S JUST FUNNY HOW THE SOCiETY WORKS..

MY DAD USE TO DRESS ME UP LiKE A BOY, HE EVEN HAD ME POSE LiKE A BOY! i WAS BALD TOO SO iT LOOKED LiKE i WAS A BOY!
i DON'T HAVE ANY BROTHERS, SO i GUESS HE FiGURED HE SHOULD JUST DRESS ME UP AS ONE...

 

[noungning]

borrowing the womb is a hit in india atm so they can always do that. pricey but yes it's possible, and it brings a peace of mind to u, but the kid's future is already a wreck before being borned. imagine the harassment and questioning the child will get growing up... that's depressing.

 

[7270]

nah. I wouldn't mind if someone were to dress one of my little family members for fun as a girl, boy, penguin, whatever.. Now I would mind if my family member got dressed against their will! <_< I would kill you!

my brother used to use my mom's hair band thing to keep his hair up (long hair), & he would look like a girl. We'd all just laugh. He only got scolded, b/c the mom wanted her hair bands back. We just chopped of the boy's hair. The situation's all good now.

As for sexuality, our family is BIG enough as it is. I really wouldn't mind, if some members wouldn't be able to procreate anymore. They still have the adoption option though, eh. Damn. ^_^

 

[XCappy]

I really don't mind gay people. My proof is that I know gay people and they do have a normal life. Male ego or what, I just don't care. I think I'm enough tolerant and open to cope with an eventual situation. But I have another analysis :

People say "I don't mind" implies impliedly "I don't mind ... (those people) BUT I DO MIND IF IT HAPPENS TO MY CHILDREN". You know, this kind of selfishness : we are tolerant to others, but our children.

From this analysis, men or women, we are at the same stage.

You can also do it with lots of example. For example : boobs. Lately, there were debates on the subject, but the main problem is that : you can say you don't mind fake boobs, but impliedly you would mind when it's your partner that gets implants.

Edit : To ~Sandy~ (post #13) : Glad to read you. Sorry, I just focused on the very first post of the topic and didn't check other replies. It's a little bit late over here...

 

[genkers]

wow how sexist of you girls blame everythign on the guys, for your information girls care about this jsut as much as a guy does, jsut like there are guys who don't mind there gonna be some who mind, and vice versa for girls there will be some who don't care and otehrs who do. so don't jsut go aroudn puttign all the blame on guys

 

[~Sandy~]

XCappy - Just like what i said earlier "i would be a hypocrit if i said i dont mind my child being gay, because i would mind. But i can live with and accept who my children choose to become" as an adult of course. So yes, i would mind, but i'll get over it.

genkers - I dont think anyone was blaming anything on the guys, just trying to explain that women and men think differently. Women are more open minded to accept a child being gay, while the father most likely will not accept cause he isnt open or will not open up to the fact that his son is or could be gay. So that's why most fathers do not like it when they see their you son dressing up in girls clothing or even walking in their mom's high heels. It's just an ego thing that men have. While females thinks its cute and funny.

 

[sirena]

i just have to say i LOVE GAY GUYS!!!!!!

i have a gay friend and if u meet him u wouldnt think or guess he gay cuz he doesnt act like it hes just regular plus he really hot! haha

and i have another friend whos also gay, but he acts fem which is soo cute
besides that hes so funny and wicked awesome to hang out with i can tell him anything and the suprising part is that he sooo understanding with girl problem

i luv my them!

i think the father doesnt except it much becuz they like the other said it has to do with their ego and how they think it stupid and stuff

if i waz in the parent postion, and my kids tells me their gay, i wouldnt say im thrill, and i wouldnt say im mad either
i mean im not excited abt it but ill be very understanding and go as to how they feeel

becuz i want them to be happy

 

[Liberty]

borrowing the womb is a hit in india atm so they can always do that. pricey but yes it's possible, and it brings a peace of mind to u, but the kid's future is already a wreck before being borned. imagine the harassment and questioning the child will get growing up... that's depressing.

Eh, it's not so bad if the gay couple finds a place to live that's very accepting about it. In other words, it's probably not a good idea to move to a small town, in a very conservative southern state.

It's becoming more acceptable, people are learning to deal with it better now or at least hide it if they don't accept it.
I give it another 5 years and this whole issue of being gay won't be such a big deal or at least less of an issue.

i just have to say i LOVE GAY GUYS!!!!!!

i have a gay friend and if u meet him u wouldnt think or guess he gay cuz he doesnt act like it hes just regular plus he really hot! haha

and i have another friend whos also gay, but he acts fem which is soo cute
besides that hes so funny and wicked awesome to hang out with i can tell him anything and the suprising part is that he sooo understanding with girl problem

i luv my them!

i think the father doesnt except it much becuz they like the other said it has to do with their ego and how they think it stupid and stuff

if i waz in the parent postion, and my kids tells me their gay, i wouldnt say im thrill, and i wouldnt say im mad either
i mean im not excited abt it but ill be very understanding and go as to how they feeel

becuz i want them to be happy

Me too! I love gay men, they always know what to say to make a girl feel better.
Plus it's a different kind of friendship then you would have with another female. Sometimes female friends get jealous of envious of each other (even if it's just a little) but with gay men, you don't ever have to worry about that because we don't have the same parts. You never have to worry about liking the same guys or competing against each other in that department either.

 

[Nameless]

bleh, aren't there dolls? they don't react.

i see no fun in dressing up lil' boys --- no offense to anyone. i'm sure the poor kid doesn't like it. i'm pretty certain if he was willing, he'd go and pick up his own little skirt and wear it himself.

 

[lady_sati]

you're so naughty!!!
dressing him up as a girl.

well, i did put hair clips in my nephew's hair.
i agree, they look sooo cute.

but... ehhehehehee.

i guess my brother would hate that his son is gay,
and my sister in law, i'll ask her when i see her. eehhehee.

awwwww, but they're so cute when they're dressed up as girls! ehehhee.

 

[genkers]

sandy- not talkign about u i was talkign about other comment not gonna say nay name but if u go back they definetly put the blame on guys

 

[noungning]

Eh, it's not so bad if the gay couple finds a place to live that's very accepting about it. In other words, it's probably not a good idea to move to a small town, in a very conservative southern state.

It's becoming more acceptable, people are learning to deal with it better now or at least hide it if they don't accept it.
I give it another 5 years and this whole issue of being gay won't be such a big deal or at least less of an issue.

5 years? I don't mean to burst your bubble but you must be living in a very open minded community so you assume all are open minded...?

We live in a country where racism is still common amongst not only blacks and whites, but amongst all races, gay unions aren't even widely accepted legally, and you are saying it won't be as big of a deal within 5 years? It took racism decades... and that's just the difference of the human skin color! ok and maybe languages too... but sexual orientation will probably be as long if not longer... right, people aren't able to come out of their closet because of this factor, societal norms insists a born male is a male and a born female is female.

the child, growing up, going to ANY kind of school will get questions, where's your mom, why do u have 2 dads? do you think an average couple who has a child at about 5 years old teaches their son/daughter what gay couples are? if you aren't in a gay family yourself, they would never know what gay couples are, or do you teach your child, nephew, neices at 5 what sexual orientation is and what gays are? and can you imagine the psychological damage the child whom is the gay couple's kid will endure? it may be inevitable now, but certain things leads to certain behaviors in their development stages and hence, lesbians raising a lesbian/gay kid, or gays raising a lesbian/gay kid.

additionally, i understand that some gays aren't by choice, i.e. born gay, but there are some by choice and this is just one of the examples. i'm not against gays as i've grew up with some and know quite a few myself. but i'm just responding to what i see from what i've noticed and learned.

sandy- not talkign about u i was talkign about other comment not gonna say nay name but if u go back they definetly put the blame on guys

genks! omg ur grammar still sucks stop typing so fast and type correctly will ya hahaha

 

[darvil]

Men think differently. In the current culture women are much more open about their sexuality so it is ok to call each other hot without any social penalties. Of course it is a complicated world and in some culture something that doesn't seem "gay" maybe deemed "gay" in another. I can bring up some personal examples of this.

Anyway there is another angle to the whole situation other then the previously mentioned points. And that has to do with the fundamental beliefs about homosexuality. For some people it is a "learned" process and for others it is a "natural" thing. Its the old argument "Nature vs Nurture". If your brother thinks that it is a nurture process then his anger is "reasonable" in my book because he believes you are giving him the ingredients to become gay. If he believes in nature then I would have to say that the anger is unreasonable and totally lies in his male ego. Either way you would have to ask him. My belief is that his anger is because he believes in nurture.

You know I think my aunts dressed me up as a girl when I was younger.. Somehow in the shadow of my mind I can remember it. Probably just a typical auntie thing to do like what you did.